I Like This Dream!

The ascetic Lydia lived in the doctors' public dormitory. Everyone called her "Doctor Lydia" or "Teacher Lydia", but few people remembered that she was an ascetic.

This is unavoidable. In the hospital, it is very inconvenient to dress up like an ascetic monk and you cannot operate on patients. The khaki clothes of ascetic monks are characterized by their resistance to dirt and wear. In a ward that has to be cleaned eight hundred times a day to avoid wound infection, more close-fitting pure white clothes are standard. Not to mention the self-punishment shackles that the ascetic monks put on themselves. Granny Nancy in the agricultural team has not worn shackles for many years. Lydia, who has healing powers and works as a surgeon, has naturally stayed away from the ascetic attire.

Ever since she chose to learn medical skills from Alva, although she occasionally farmed exotic beasts with Anxu, strictly speaking, Lydia was no longer Anxu's bonded nurse.

She no longer follows An Xu all day long, and her life no longer revolves around An Xu. She has a lot more things to do, and she has more than one patient to take care of. Lydia gradually faded out of Anxu's life, but she also entered the lives of more people.

Lydia appeared in Alva's school and became the first top student to dissect a cadaver without any obstacles. Her talent in surgery was praised by even picky teachers like Alva. Lydia appeared on the battlefield and became a field doctor with countless lives. The soldiers called her the angel in white. Lydia appeared in the newly built Santa Ana Alchemist College. As one of the teachers in the Department of Medicine, she was welcomed by the students for her eagerness to answer questions and her serious and patient character.

Perhaps in the past few years, or perhaps earlier, Lydia also began to feel that she was a doctor and was no longer ashamed to be considered an alchemist's apprentice. I don’t know since when, Lydia’s first thought when she woke up was no longer the scriptures for morning prayer, but what she had to do that day. She would review the medical knowledge she had learned, think back to the operation she had performed yesterday, think about how the patient was doing now, and think about what she would do today - there were never enough doctors.

Even Lydia occasionally forgets that she is an ascetic.

The ascetic Lydia woke up suddenly that night, her green eyes wide open, like an owl in the night. She sat up straight, climbed out of bed as if sleepwalking, and opened the window.

Lydia lived in the doctor's public dormitory. She was the only one living in her room. No one found Dr. Lydia walking barefoot to the corridor on such a quiet night. She stared blankly to the northeast—the direction of Alinggu—and the dusty memories in her mind suddenly came to life.

Lydia remembered that when she was young, she lived with the ascetics in Datongpu, and her daily work was training, penance and prayer. She recalled that after she differentiated into a beta and gained the healing power, her penance was relatively reduced and her training became several times heavier. Because the training process was quite painful, it was not much different from penance. She remembered that she was in training... Lydia's fingers trembled strangely a few times, as if she wanted to hold something. There was nothing in the air for her to hold, so Lydia became restless. With her hair down and bare feet, she walked quickly along the not-so-warm corridor until she reached the warehouse of the doctor's dormitory.

The doctor's dormitory has a small warehouse for storing spare medical equipment. The key is in the hands of the dormitory manager. You only need to register to borrow it. There are three dormitory managers, and they take turns to work. There are people on duty 24 hours a day. On weekdays, there are also doctors who are on night shift and they need to borrow them at this time when they encounter special circumstances. But Lydia didn't expect this at this time. Her thoughts became erratic and distant, as if they were restrained by ice cubes, as if there was something behind them, but she was extraordinarily calm.

Lydia climbed onto the window sill of the warehouse, pressed against the small window, and used skillful force to shake it down silently. She climbed into the window nimbly, squinting in the darkness, and quickly found the only sharp weapon here.

scalpel.

Compared to the knives and daggers of this era, scalpels were quite slim and compact. Its handle is flat and slender, quite strong, but its blade is extremely sharp. Its workmanship is more exquisite than the weapons here, and it can be said to be a hair blower. All spare scalpels have undergone rigorous exorcism (or as the more fashionable term among alchemists say, sterilization) by exorcists, and the blades are so bright that you feel scratched just by looking at them. As soon as its cold handle came into her hands, Lydia was in a daze for the familiar touch, and for a moment she didn't know where she was or what she was doing.

What she held was not a dagger, but a scalpel. The ascetic holds the dagger, the doctor holds the scalpel. Ascetic Lydia kills people, Doctor Lydia saves...

Before the year was over, it was all gone.

There seemed to be some kind of voice in the dark, telling her what to do. It felt less like a command and more like one of her own thoughts, like sleepiness and hunger, which she couldn't resist at all. No, for ascetics, sleepiness and hunger are not irresistible things. How can these human desires that can be overcome by will be compared with the call from the heart? This is more like an ascetic who heard God's will.

Lydia was engulfed by a flood of memories. She heard the hum of prayers in the crowd, and she was among them, kneeling and reciting. She saw the blood spreading, but the blood did not sting her eyes, because the heretics would be eradicated and the believers would enter the Kingdom of God, so life and death were meaningless. Only the grace of God was the only glory. To please the gods is their only desire.

In addition to memories, old emotions stirred up. At this moment, the memories after leaving the Great Ascetic Monastery became as if they were a lifetime ago. The feeling of being touched by Anna, the favored one by God, the feeling of making one's own choices, the feeling of being praised for one's abilities instead of piety, the feeling of being thanked after saving someone for the first time... suddenly none of it mattered anymore. Lydia was neither happy nor sad.

The ascetic Lydia opened the door, and what happened next was enough to be called a tragedy.

The ghost holding a scalpel wanders around the doctor's dormitory. The doctor who returns home late returns home, only to bump into the killer in the night. The people who were about to scream in front of the corpse were unable to scream, and the blade silenced them. The wandering ghost even entered Alva's residence. If Jay, the spy chief who stayed there for the night, realized something was wrong, Lydia almost killed the teacher who was defenseless against her.

Jay and Lydia struggled, Alva immediately sent a signal, and the guards who came after hearing the news finally restrained Lydia. Before she was restrained, eleven bodies were left in the doctor's dormitory.

This tragedy caused an uproar among all those who knew about it. Ansu was stunned when he heard the news, and his shock was even deeper than when he learned about Richard II's sudden purge. She had known for a long time that the king was a fool, but she never thought that Lydia would be a traitor.

"The sinner Lydia has been brought under control." City Mayor Charlotte said, "The Chief Medical Officer requested that she be taken away for treatment, but the victim's family objected."

"What did Alva say?" Anxu asked.

"Sir Alva thought it was a disease, and the victims' families thought it was a cover-up."

With the development of medicine and the confessional of saints, "possession by the devil" - a variety of mental illnesses - began to be included in the criminalization system. If in the end the offender is proven to be ill, it will be handed over to the medical school rather than the court.

Charlotte hesitated and said, "The sinner Lydia is an ascetic after all."

"Teacher Nancy is also an ascetic monk. Do you think she is also a potential murderer?" An Xu said.

"It's different, sir, this is different." Charlotte sighed. "The sinner Lydia has completely different personalities from the Minister of Agriculture. The former is usually taciturn and has no close friends. Few people know what she is thinking."

"Why, introversion is anti-social?" An Xu twitched his lips, "This reminds me of the witch hunting manual "Wizard's Whip". It says that people who are silent must have evil thoughts in their hearts, and they must be related to The devil got along. However, it was also said that the suspect must have some evil intentions in his heart when he talks freely and wants to drag others down."

From the day they met, Lidya was a very boring person. She almost never spoke actively, and could not tell much about her emotions or joys. She answered every question as rigidly as a robot. Lydia's character was so cold, and Anxu was so freewheeling. After Miss Dervish began to move out and study alchemy with Alva, their relationship faded as their interactions became less frequent.

Anxu is not depressed about this. It is good for both of them if they separate. Anxu can have a world together, and Lydia can make more friends and see a wider world. What's the point of keeping a little girl next to him as a decoration? At such a young age, he looks like a zombie who is always ready to be laid to rest. In the eyes of a layman like An Xu who has no faith, he is a waste of natural resources. She wholeheartedly approved of Lydia returning to secular life... well, becoming a doctor.

Is silence a sign of betrayal?

Anxu saw the changes in Lydia over the years. The more old friends you haven't seen for a while, the more obvious the changes you can see. Lydia may be a little cold, but she is definitely not heartless, and if Charlotte suggested to her patients and students that she was a hidden conspirator or a perverted murderer, they would jump with anger.

Lydia used the perseverance of an ascetic to rescue the wounded day and night. She was very adaptable, so she carefully prepared her lessons for every class. Although she followed the textbook, she was very patient with her students. In fact she was very patient with everyone who came to her for help. Lydia answered a few questions, but almost nothing. Day after day, year after year, she worked and studied. This unequivocal crime of murder should never have fallen on her.

"Your Majesty the Duke, no matter what, please stop being emotional." Charlotte looked deeply into An Xu's eyes, "The sinner Lydia is not an ordinary ascetic, she is an ascetic from the Great Ascetic Monastery."

The extremely pious and determined Great Ascetic Monastery, the most mysterious institution of the Holy See, is located in Alinggu, a land that Anxu cannot perceive.

"I don't intend to cover anyone, but I won't harm anyone either." An Xu pursed his lips and said, "Let the victim's family wait for a while...Give us a week, we will definitely find out the truth and give them An explanation.”

Anxu met Lydia in prison. She was still unconscious due to drugs and still wore the Lock of Divine Punishment. Anxu's spiritual tentacles reached out to the ascetic, and the ascetic's body was completely healthy. Her spirit was chaotic and unclear, but the same was true for the spirits of comatose people. An Xu didn't feel anything strange.

Alva went to prison with her. As a compromise, Alva could not take Lydia away, but he could examine and treat her here. An Xu watched the doctor take out a complete set of equipment, and his assistant helped him start the examination process. For a long time, they were silent.

"Is Lidya really sick?" An Xu couldn't help but ask. She wanted to hear Alva say an unequivocal "yes", but Alva shook his head.

"I can only say that Lydia is quite abnormal," he said. "As for whether it is a disease or what kind of disease it is, there is no way to know yet."

Halfway through a week, Alva sent a message to Anxu. Anxu entered the prison and found that Carina, the saint of the Evangelical Church, was also there. Her face was as friendly as ever, and Lydia was awake, listening to what she was saying through the iron cage. Everyone stopped when they saw An Xu coming in.

"Two things," Alva said straight to the point, not interested in playing the trick of "Which one do you want to hear first, good news or bad news?" "The first thing, there is indeed something wrong with Lydia. The second thing, I don't Determine if that’s a disease.”

"Sir, do you know how sheepherders tend sheep?" Karina said. "They shake the bell and then feed them. This can make the sheep tame so that they will gather somewhere when they hear the bell."

An Xu nodded, having a bad premonition.

"Miss Lydia's abnormality... was artificially trained." Carina said.

Habits, or conditioned reflexes, are terrible things.

Turn on the light and ring the bell every time before giving the dog food. After training for a period of time, the dog will start to secrete saliva every time the light comes on or the bell rings, just like when eating. The chain that binds the baby elephant is strong enough that it cannot escape no matter how hard it struggles. Then when it grows up, even if it is strong enough to break the chain easily, the elephant will not try to break free. The theory of conditioned reflex may require a certain level of civilization to come up with, but using conditioned reflex to domesticate animals, even the sheepherders of this era will probably be able to do this.

If an animal's response to a specific stimulus allows it to obtain a reward or escape punishment, it will easily have a fixed reaction when facing this stimulus in the future. A connection is established between the situation and the reaction action, forming a conditioned reflex like the body's instinct. . For smarter "animals", humans, it may become easier to brainwash and learn this conditioned reflex.

"I didn't suddenly have the ability to kill." Lydia remained expressionless, but suddenly spoke, "I have been training to do this since I was a child."

"Aren't you a healer trained by the Holy See?" An Xuqiang smiled, "I remember asking you before."

"The ascetics in the Great Ascetic Monastery are all like this." Lydia said, "Alpha and Omega were taken away, and Beta stayed and received training. People with superpowers were trained more heavily. People kept leaving and coming in. , I don’t know, and I don’t care, because we... because they said, we just need to practice hard and don’t need to think. I thought so too at the time."

An Xu looked at her and was speechless for a moment.

"I can sneak, unlock, and assassinate. I know more than five ways to kill you in the past and disguise it as an accident." Lydia said, "I didn't tell you. The seniors in the monastery said you can't tell. I'm responsible. Heal you, monitor you, kill heretics, kill you if necessary.”

"Do you think so too?" An Xu asked, "Do you still think so now?"

Her question brought a long silence, and Lydia looked at her hands, looking a little confused.

"I don't want to." After a long silence, Lydia muttered, "I don't want to, but that night, I suddenly thought like this... I don't know, this is not me."

Her expression remained unchanged, but there was some heartbreaking confusion in her eyes. Anxu felt angry and disgusted. She thought of the Great Ascetic Monastery that Lidia told her, and then thought of Alinggu and Noah who were now blocked. She thought with her toes that it was all his fault, even though Anxu didn't feel anything.

"It looks like you have an idea about this," Alva said.

"What do you mean?" An Xu asked.

"After you swallowed the crystal core of the giant bird, you have a more subtle sense of energy, right?"

"Yes, but I don't feel anything strange about this matter." An Xu shook his head.

"Do you think the magic circle on the ground looks familiar?" Alva asked again.

As soon as Anxu entered the cell, he saw a large magic circle on the ground, painted with dark red paint. Anxu didn't ask, waiting for Alva to explain.

"The one under the rat monster's cage?" An Xu pondered for a moment, "No, it's not exactly the same as it."

"The effect is similar. It can block the overflow of energy." Alva said, "It's not clear. Let me demonstrate it to you."

Alva bent down and erased part of the magic circle.

The underground magic circle statue is carved there and cannot be easily defaced. There is a gap that can be erased in the part that protrudes from the prison. Alva rubbed his fingers on it, and a gap appeared in the magic circle. In that brief moment, Anxu felt a flow of energy, like the air flowing out of a balloon when it deflated.

Lydia's eyes slowly changed.

Anxu stood in front of the ascetic monk and saw the process clearly. She saw the pain and confusion in those green eyes receding little by little, no longer as emotional as when they first met. Even though the face didn't change, An Xu felt creepy.

The uncanny valley theory says that when something is similar to humans to a certain extent, humans will suddenly become extremely disgusted with them. Because the similarity reaches a certain level, the slightest difference will appear very conspicuous and even scary. An Xu's mood was like this at this time. The person in front of him was obviously Lidya, but the strange feeling of being human and inhuman came over him.

Lydia stood up, looked around, and then stared at the three living people outside the iron prison. She suddenly rushed over, stretched her hands out of the iron railing, and clawed at them frantically with both hands, as if she wanted to tear them into pieces with such fervor.

And at the moment when her behavior became strange, the energy floating in the air like cotton wool also became clear.

Anxu's mental power spread suddenly, her energy was different from what it used to be, and she could follow this vague energy all the way back. Everything in the world turns into a star map, with countless energy points of different light and dark flickering on it. There are countless thick or thin threads connecting many small points together.

The dot named Lydia in front of her is connected to a certain existence in the distance.

She was like a virus that had entered the data flow, trying to catch the thread and move upstream. The firewall in the distance was running vigilantly, and the line was cut off almost immediately. At that moment, Anxu only captured a little information. This information made her shudder: she felt that there were countless small dots on the other end of the line.

Lydia was still struggling. There was no string to control her, but she was like a small iron filing, dancing with the moving magnet in the distance. Anxu's mental power wrapped it up, layer after layer, until Lydia's movements became sluggish. At this moment, Karina suddenly rang the bell, and the ascetic suddenly woke up with a start.

Lydia stared at the person in front of her blankly, then suddenly knelt down and started to retching.

Karina hurriedly came up to her, handed her hot water, and whispered something in a gentle voice. Before Anxu had time to listen, Alva had already grabbed her and pulled her out a few steps.

"How did you do it?" Alva asked eagerly. "How did you weaken the control? Describe it!"

"I blocked her..." An Xu tried to describe, "I wrapped her up with my spiritual power, just like myself..."

A flash of spiritual light suddenly flashed.

After winning the battle with the giant bird and recovering from it, Anxu remained "isolated" most of the time. She also taught Chris how to isolate himself in case Noah visited unexpectedly - Chris remained isolated throughout the entire process. Ansu discussed this issue with him and finally decided to keep the fact that Chris shared his power a secret.

The only power that can be concealed by this trick is the so-called god, or the power of meteorites.

It's not that there's nothing strange about Lydia, it's just that the energy level is so thin that it's almost impossible to tell.

"Lidya," An Xu turned around, squatted down, and asked her, "Have you ever eaten anything strange before?"

"No." Lydia said palely.

"Where's the holy water?" Alva suddenly interrupted.

"A lot," Lydia replied, "every month."

The author has something to say: There was a power outage for a long time today, so I am a little rushed in writing. I may need to revise it tomorrow~