I live in a desert island property

After a while, Hulu said in a slightly arrogant tone: [No problem, human beings! I reluctance to play this role-playing game with you, which is difficult because I have never met a real vampire... But you know, you are just my food! 】

[Don't push yourself too hard, you know? Ready for the tribute tonight, where do you want me to bite, human? 】

【Are you satisfied with my imitation of the human vampire's speaking tone? 】

Hulu spoke strange words in a serious tone.

Zhang Ming broke out in cold sweat...

Lao Zhang, who has 160,000 attributes and can live for 130,000 years, is a little panicked, always feeling that one day, he will be bewitched by this gourd.

Then he said righteously: "Please call me..."

He found that his skin was not thick enough, and he really couldn't say those perverted words, so he finally ran away on the grounds that "talking too much with the gourd may cause danger".

Only the little gourd was left swaying in the wind. Did I do something wrong again?

What do you want me to call you?

...

...

Time passes day by day, happy days are always short.

More time, calm with a touch of dullness.

Leaving the group of Honggang people, for Zhang Ming, he was actually a little lonely. After talking about the mountains for 84 years and drinking rice wine for 84 years, he quit all of a sudden, and the discomfort immediately came up.

Accustomed to the excitement, who likes a deserted life?

It's just that if you can't help it, you have to bear it!

Maybe after a few more decades, it will be over!

In fact, Zhang Ming has a lot of things to do. For example, in the forging room, he is addicted to blacksmithing and can't help himself. He hits for a whole day. The skills he learned from Honggang people cannot be wasted.

Reviewing the knowledge learned before can only be a review. Zhang Ming feels that he is not smart enough to create new knowledge, especially mathematics, which really makes him want to stop...

Go for a swim in the sea, catch some fish and shrimp, cook some delicious food, and continue the dream of the big rice bucket restaurant.

Then, read the letters sent by relatives and friends, and feel sad.

To be honest, no matter how much he entertains himself, this life is still too boring...

Bored to explosion!

Zhang Ming missed Li Xianfeng's broadcast very much, lost the source of information from the outside world, and always felt like being in prison every day.

Not even the prisoners in the prison!

Prisoners have inmates to socialize with, watch TV to get information, and say, "Everyone is talented, and they speak nicely. I like this place so much!"

So on this day, Zhang Ming, who was in prison, had a dark face and said to himself: "I don't like this place so much!"

"Not even a monster attack... Come and chop me up with a fucking monster!"

And outside the room, Shimaman's crazy roar came.

Why is this stinky stone so happy, because... it is making a wish like crazy! Why this stone has no fear is a question.

Zhang Ming sneaked out and hid behind a screen to eavesdrop.

"Please tell me, how can I become Xuanwu? Please tell me the ultimate truth, great lady gourd!"

Hulu is very happy, just like a preaching priest: [Please wait a moment... There are currently many different ways, the first is to find a powerful partner named 'Xuanwu', you just need to find a way to make 'Xuanwu' treat you To be determined is equivalent to becoming Xuanwu. 】

"Wonderful!" Shouted Shi Mama.

[The second is that you daydream and become Xuanwu in your dream. 】

[Third, your current strength is incomplete. When you regain full strength, you may be able to possess one-tenth of the power of Xuanwu. 】

Gourd spoke strange words solemnly, and Shimama rolled around on the ground. This scene, at first glance, looked like a carnival of happy mental patients in a psychiatric hospital.

The gourd monster is currently the biggest entertainment product, although... Lao Zhang doesn't dare to play with it.

And Shi Mama, the humble maid who is not afraid of anything, seems to gather all the dark sides in Zhang Ming's heart, and will always make some weird and tricky wishes.

Immediately afterwards, he heard Shi Mama say again: "Can you play the tone of Xuanwu's wife and talk to me? I make a wish, please! I want a Xuanwu wife!"

Xiaobai rolled down from the balcony with a "gululu", has this ancestor already perverted to this extent? It is so narcissistic, does it feel that only itself is worthy of itself.

The little gourd hesitated for a while, then floated up, a little away from the crazy stone: [Sorry, I don't know what Xuanwu's wife is, and I don't want to do it. 】

Shi Mama was furious: "Then you play the role of Zhang Ming's wife and talk to me."

The little gourd said: [Okay, I will play the role of Mr. Zhang Ming's wife and talk to you...]

The little gourd was silent.

Shimama: "Why don't you speak?"

Little Gourd: […]

Shimama: "Speak up!"

The little gourd said solemnly: [Because Mr. Zhang Ming's wife does not exist in the past, present, and future, the three time and space, I can only play a non-existent thing, or play a small, unborn Fertilized egg. 】

[The fertilized egg cannot speak, please forgive me. 】

The deck was full of happy air, and Shi Mama was shocked: "Wonderful!"

Xiaobai laughed until tears flowed out.

Except for Lao Zhang who was eavesdropping behind the fender, a little unhappy...

That gourd must have been transformed from [long-cherished wish]!

Why, why do I not have a wife in the future! !

In fact, he has a little Platonic tendency, that is, mental cleanliness.

At the age of 18, the requirements are very high, not only the requirement is a woman, but also the spiritual level. Young people, always like this, think that love is the most precious diamond; when they were trapped on a desert island at the age of 28, the requirements were very low. As long as it's a woman, it's fine if it's a spiritual fit, it's a fart!

The 38-year-old has lower requirements, as long as it is a female, it does not require humans...

But if the age is over 48, the requirements will rise in a straight line. Since you are already an old bachelor, why don't you find a perfect one?

Have you never heard of a 40-50-year-old aunt who found the true love of a Middle Eastern prince? At least one must be a Middle Eastern princess to satisfy Lao Zhang, right?

Now that I am over 138 years old, the requirements are extremely high. I have been single for so long, and I have experienced so many ups and downs. It is really difficult to be with a normal girl. I don’t even have a common language, so what is there to play.

Thinking about it this way, the description of Little Gourd seems to be correct.

Zhang Ming couldn't help but sighed.

Shi Mama's metamorphosis continued, and the stinky stone became more and more cheerful: "Are you a man or a woman? Gourd."

[I have no reproductive ability, theoretically no gender. If anything, I tend to be female because I'm non-aggressive and have a gentle, kind and friendly disposition. 】

Zhang Ming bared his teeth. Does this mean he is not aggressive? Your aggressiveness is overflowing, okay?

"Hahaha, it said it was a woman!" Shimama was overjoyed immediately: "I make a wish, you will act as my loyal servant and speak in the tone of a maid."

The little gourd seemed to be deliberately teasing the stone, and said with a bottom line: 【I'm sorry, I don't want to do this. 】

[Because your Xuanwu wife will definitely blame me, I can't bear your Xuanwu wife's torture. 】

"Then you play Zhang Ming's cat maid and talk to me."

【Okay, please wait...】

Hulu, let's say it's Ms. Hulu, her tone changed and became a very strange clip sound: [Master's friend, Mr. Shimama, do you want a cup of coffee when you come here? Excuse me, you are visiting my master, what is the important thing, meow meow~ He is building a saw there and wants to saw me open, meow meow! 】

[If you want to be sawn open, I can tell you, meow~ let us be sawn open together! Meow meow meow! 】

Zhang Ming was so dumbfounded that he almost lost his teeth in shock.

Shi Mama was so angry, why didn't she be my maid, only his!

Hulu said: [Because I want to stay by his side, wait for him to die, and complete the deal. It may take a long time to get along, and it is necessary to have a good relationship. 】

[In addition, your appearance does not conform to my aesthetics. Although he is a little small, he is very delicate and cute, and a little fragile, which is in line with my aesthetic concept. 】

Shimama was suddenly furious, she was mocking her ugly appearance.

The lowly servant girl jumped up frantically, trying to beat the gourd, but the gourd lightly flashed past her.

There was a happy air on the deck again, Xiaobai started to laugh wildly, and even Brother Hao was watching.

Bai Ze's eyeballs fell directly to the ground. This good man from ancient times was really surprised, saying that he was a little behind the times... This era is too unrestrained.

What is the identity of this gourd? If it is really the incarnation of [long-cherished wish] or [long-cherished wish], then... Bai Ze is full of vigilance. [long-cherished wish] is absolutely impossible to just send a chatterbox gourd over, once he loses his vigilance , perhaps it is the day when its conspiracy succeeds!

But Zhang Ming's thinking was different from Bai Ze's. He secretly thought, what does it mean to be a little smaller?

This problem is serious!

So he coughed twice, got out from behind the baffle, and called Hulu over to ask this question.

【Hmm... It's just that you're a little younger... I didn't mean to mock you, it's just... ah... a little younger, you look like a hundred years old, very young. ] Hulu swayed left and right as if trying to lie to cover up the past.

When it lies, it will emit modal particles such as "um, ah", which are easy to identify.

Therefore, "Ms. Gourd", who was surrounded by many mental patients, could only say in the end: [Well, let me tell you the truth, compared to the life forms in my realm, your individual is indeed a little smaller. 】

[Please don't mind, the rules are different, and the size of the individual is naturally different. Just like when I traveled to this world, it was just a small gourd. So I didn't mean to mock you. 】