I Really Didn’t Want to be a Savior

This month’s reward speech has been postponed until today, which is really embarrassing.

how to say.

This autumn is indeed a troubled autumn.

A person's slight words are like a duckweed floating in the ocean.

Looking back at my journey, I can see that it has never been smooth sailing. On the contrary, it has been a road full of misfortunes.

I am indeed a very simple person.

There are three goals in writing a book.

One, support your family.

Second, stay true to your hobbies.

Third, the name will remain in history.

Indeed, I never dare to claim to be a talented person.

After all, there are not many people who have written books for fifteen years and still achieved nothing.

In this industry, those who write about my age either have some degree of promise from a great master, or they have already recognized themselves and changed careers.

It’s hard to describe in words the feeling of not being popular for fifteen years.

Life is only a few decades long, and I don’t know how many fifteen years can be wasted here.

Every night when people are quiet, I always think about whether I will regret my choice when I get old and can no longer press the keyboard or write a beautiful story.

I have always told people that I am very peaceful and do not envy or envy those famous gods.

But I rarely tell others that my so-called peace is not something I was born with. It is just kneeling in the mud and struggling powerlessly again and again, and finally slowly learned to face reality.

My reality is simple.

I'm so weak, so bad, so rubbish.

I was using talents I didn't have to force myself into an industry that didn't match my talents.

After all, readers have sharp eyes. If I can really write a good book, why bother waiting for fifteen years?

I think I'm smart, but I'm actually stupid.

Really smart people should have chosen a more suitable path long ago.

I don’t know if I am afraid of change or if I am unwilling to do so.

The ups and downs of these days are visible to the author, and so are the readers.

In fact, I understand the demands and positions of many people, as well as the rights that everyone wants to fight for.

I thought about saying something.

But it suddenly dawned on me that I didn’t deserve it.

Others worry that they will not receive more generous rewards if their books become popular.

If it were fifteen years ago, I would have had exactly the same worries and indignation. I was young and passionate at that time.

But when I look back, I find that in the fifteen years behind me, I have not been able to write even a book of coveted value.

Not one year, not two years, but fifteen years.

There are really not many fifteen years in a person's life.

Fifteen years later, I still haven’t been able to write a book worth fighting for.

So I thought again, what am I fighting for?

What does a person who has not been able to write a red book in fifteen years deserve?

It's hard enough to survive.

The current trend of "Savior" is also the best since I started working in this industry.

I told myself that no matter how fierce the wind and waves outside were, it was not my life after all.

What I should care about, what I should always pay attention to, is that I must be worthy of my own book and worthy of the readers who have always supported me.

So I'm trying very hard to keep my mind clear.

I don't think about anything, only a very simple thought.

Write your own book.

If I smash my writing, how will the external environment develop in the future? No matter it gets better or worse, what can I expect?

Who will help me support my family?

Help me pay off my debt?

Am I worthy of myself and the readers of this book until now?

Also, I don’t know what everyone thinks of the quality of the recent chapters of “Savior of the World.”

From my personal point of view, I am dissatisfied. I have never been satisfied with myself.

The writing of this book will inevitably become increasingly difficult, and the difficulty of creation is increasing exponentially.

It must be logical, the scene must be constantly enlarged, it must start with details, the characters must be vivid, and the plot must be interesting and fascinating. The so-called truths I talk about must be interesting to read and understand. Thoughts.

The creative core of this book is actually very sad.

This is the biggest difficulty I face now.

I must and can only concentrate on this matter with all my strength.

Otherwise, I will apologize to no one.

As I reach middle age, my edges have smoothed off, but I still remember my original intention of writing stories.

I'm still arrogant.

I still want to be a writer who can write works that can be remembered by people, instead of always being called a code writer.

A hundred years later, there are still people who read my books and get excited, moved to tears, and laugh because of my books.

I'm still greedy.

I also want to be rich, as rich as JK Rowling.

At the same time, I always firmly believe that a writer's wealth and his talent can be equal.

I can't guarantee that this book will do that.

Thank you to all readers who subscribed, tipped, and voted for me during April 2020.

Below is the reward list for April, with the amounts in brackets.

Thank you everyone, you are so strong!

Cynical Egg, Qidian Reading iOS (2450)

Second-hand sportsman(1100)

Deep Sea 2(1000)

The world-destroying frog (375)

Ying Shi Zha Le (218)

QingfengV (200)

20170825 Ai Yu(120)

☆Night Breeze☆(100)

ps madman(100)

spicychicken (100)

Book Friends 20180429025055152 (100)

Wood Core(100)

Ye Yanan(100)

Mr. Sheng (100)

Ryuji's heart is broken (100)

My name is Bai Qi, the God of Death (100)

Grab your lollipop and start reading on iOS (100)

Cangliu 133 (100)

Zheng Xunyi(100)

Reader 1565399552192387 (100)

Silent Desert Yimi(100)

Horse racing through Xiguan (100)

Drowning has no results (100)

Dudududu (100)

Dianjun, Qidian Reading iOS (100)

Su Su Su Su (97)

Suspect Cheng (70)

The domineering and crazy Long Aotian, Qidian Reading iOS (60)

Super Ghost Wu Sheng (51)

Nine Nether Blue Blood(50)

Don't say I'm half a month old (50)

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Mo Fang(30)

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I wish not to speak (25)

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