I'm not a theatre god

Zhao Yi shook his head and walked past the brightly lit store door, straight into the biting cold wind.

He walked alone on the streets for a long time, from the bustling streets to the increasingly deserted suburbs of Xicheng. When he returned to the dilapidated small building, in the darkness only the light of the kerosene lamp was left in the building.

Zhao Yi stepped up the steps step by step, and after entering the house, he found that Ling'er had fallen asleep peacefully on the sofa at the door... She was still holding a small blanket in one hand, as if she was waiting for Zhao Yi to come back, and she couldn't help but fall asleep. On fire.

There was no electric light in the room. Zhao Yi stood in the dim doorway, looking at Ling'er who was still snoring slightly, with a faint smile on his face frozen by the cold wind.

He walked into the house softly, picked up Ling'er from the sofa, and walked to the bedroom... But during this process, even though Ling'er's weight was very light, Zhao Yi still felt a tearing pain in his back, which made Zhao Yi He almost lost his footing and fell to the ground with Ling'er.

Fortunately, Zhao Yi held onto the wall with one hand and stabilized his figure. When he put Ling'er back on the crib, his forehead was already covered with sweat.

"Damn..."

Zhao Yi gritted his teeth, tremblingly took out a pill from his pocket and swallowed it. He squatted at the door for a long time before the pain that pierced his soul subsided a little.

Doctor Chu's diagnosis was correct, and Zhao Yi could clearly feel that all aspects of his physical fitness were declining... At this rate, he would be paralyzed in bed and waiting to die in a few days.

The dim moonlight shone on the bed, reflecting Ling'er's sleeping little face. Zhao Yi's fists clenched unconsciously, motionless like a sculpture in the darkness.

After an unknown amount of time, he took out a crumpled form from his pocket, and his gray eyes gradually turned into determination.

He gently covered Ling'er with the quilt, touched her head, then closed the door and disappeared into the dark room...

As soon as Zhao Yi walked downstairs, he saw Xu Chongguo sitting at the door smoking.

"Xiao Yi, when did you come back?" Xu Chongguo asked in surprise when he saw Zhao Yi walking out of the house.

"just came back……"

"Oh, I didn't know when you would come back, so I took Ling'er to our house for dinner... She should be asleep at this point, right?"

"Um."

"Have you got a meal yet?"

"……No."

Xu Chongguo looked at Zhao Yi's pale face and asked in confusion, "What's wrong with you? Are you worried?"

"..." Zhao Yi was silent for a moment, then a smile emerged from the corner of his mouth, "Uncle Xu, from now on Ling'er, I may have to ask you to take more care of her..."

"What's the meaning?"

"I found a good job, but the requirements there are stricter and it is a confidential unit. I may not be able to come back often in the future."

"Secret work?" Xu Chongguo looked at Zhao Yi in surprise, "Where did you find it?"

"I found it from the official." Zhao Yi changed the subject, "Although it is tiring, the salary is very good. If I can't spend it in the unit, I will let them give it away... Ling'er is too young, so I use it to collect payments. your name.”

"Huh? Oh... no problem."

Xu Chongguo seemed to have remembered something, "Have you finished your medical treatment?"

"After reading it, the doctor said it was just a trauma, not a big problem, and it will be cured soon with some medicine."

"As long as you are in good health, you can make money no matter what." Xu Chongguo nodded, "But if you go to work, no matter how hard it is to come back, you have to come back once in a while... Ling'er is just growing up, so if you don't come back to see more, then you will be It’s unrecognizable.”

Zhao Yi was startled for a moment, looked in the direction of his own door, and smiled slightly.

"Then I'm leaving, Uncle Xu."

"Bon Voyage."

Zhao Yi walked down the stairs and was about to move on when Xu Chongguo's voice sounded again.

"Xiao Yi."

"Um?"

Zhao Yi turned around and saw Xu Chongguo holding a cigarette in one hand and saying emotionally to him, "Do you know? You are now like a man who stands upright... If your father sees you like you now, It will definitely be a pleasure.”

Zhao Yi was stunned and twitched the corner of his mouth, not knowing if he was crying or laughing... He did not respond, but turned his head silently and walked towards the end of the dark street.

The cold wind at night cut his cheek like a knife, and loneliness and sorrow tore him into pieces in an unnoticed corner. Zhao Yi was like a sick wolf leaving the community step by step. As he gradually sank into the darkness, a burst of fire But it ignited deep in his heart.

It was the fire of unwillingness, the fire of anger, the final echo of a dying man falling before dawn. Zhao Yi held the form in his hand, and suddenly felt an uncontrollable impulse!

He quickens his pace, speeds up! Speed ​​up!

He was almost running in the cold night, passing by a few pedestrians returning home. He didn't know what he was going to do or where he was going. He only knew that his suppressed young heart needed a channel. To vent the last of my emotions.

After an unknown amount of time, he was panting heavily and standing in front of the noodle shop with his hands on his knees.

"Little brother, why are you back again?" The middle-aged man who was about to close the stall said in surprise when he saw Zhao Yi.

Zhao Yi looked up at the bright and transparent shop illuminated by the lantern. In a daze, it seemed to gradually overlap with the breakfast shop in his memory... He stood in the doorway in a daze. After a long time, he came back to his senses and walked forward with a smile. Step into it.

"Boss! Here's a bowl of noodles!"

The boss who was closing the stall and half-finished the meal was stunned, "Huh? Sigh... OK, if you want to eat, I'll make you another one. What kind of noodles do you want to eat?"

"Here comes a big bowl of noodles!" Zhao Yi slapped all the last change in his pocket on the table, like a rich man with a huge fortune.

"Choose the biggest steak for me! No... I want two pieces!!"

The boss looked at Zhao Yi with a strange expression, but he still started cooking the noodles skillfully. Not long after, a steaming bowl of noodles was handed to Zhao Yi, covered with two large pieces of steak, both as big as the mouth of a bowl. , I can barely turn the noodles with my chopsticks.

Zhao Yi didn't care whether it was hot or not, he picked up the chopsticks and rolled them into his mouth, making a fragrant slurping sound.

"Slow down... Hey, slow down, no one will compete with you." The boss couldn't help but advise.

Zhao Yi did not stop, he greedily sucked every drop of soup in the bowl. This was the last meal he prepared for himself, and it was also the last end he drew for his young and vivid life...

A bowl of noodles, two large steaks;

Zhao Yi felt that enough was enough.

When he slapped a clean noodle bowl back on the table, he let out a long burp, and then spoke loudly:

"Boss, bring me a pen!"

Although the boss was suspicious, he still handed Zhao Yi the pen he used to keep accounts. The latter took out a tattered form from his arms and wrote two big characters in the final name column:

——Zhao Yi.

He put the pen back on the table, took the form and strode out of the store.

He stood outside the door in the cold wind, on the edge of the lantern light and the dark street, and turned slightly... He looked at this store, or the breakfast restaurant in his memory, or the place where he had been for nineteen years. Life, murmured:

"……thanks for treatment."

He disappeared into the darkness.