I’m Really a Superstar

Countdown.

?p\u003eThree.

two.

one.

The Spring Festival Gala live broadcast has officially begun!

First, a two-minute promotional video was inserted. The video was shot very gorgeously and very traditionally. Front-line workers from all walks of life appeared in the video wearing the clothes of their respective professions. Finally, it was concentrated on a train during the Spring Festival. Everyone clasped their fists, and a few words appeared on the screen - Spring Festival Gala.

The dance music sounded, which was ethnic music. In the sound of music, actors appeared on the stage in red and green clothes. Some danced Uighur dance, some danced Dai dance, and some danced Mongolian dance.

"Well."

"Why do I have an ominous premonition?"

"Me too."

"Hodgepodge? Khan."

"The personnel composition is too complicated!"

"This opening dance is really so 'Spring Festival Gala'!"

"Isn't it like this every year? Come on, find something to exploit!"

"Come on, jokesters!"

There are jokesters already on stage, but the party has just begun. Everyone has not entered the state yet, and they have not found any good entry points. There are not a single two-point complaint.

At this time, the Mongolian dance actors rotated to the front, and the names of various places in Inner Mongolia were played on the big screen in the back. Every time they came to a place name, there were locals wearing Mongolian robes riding horses, guarding yurts, or standing in front of them. In school, there are photos of New Year greetings.

"Joker!"

"Where are the people?"

"Come on!"

"Where is everyone's fighting ability?"

"Who's going to start the Spring Festival Gala's 'first slot'!"

Suddenly, a complaint appeared on Weibo: "I am from Inner Mongolia, I am in ********. I want to say that I have explained to my friends from other places for so many years that we do not live in yurts.

I don’t go to school on horseback, I don’t bathe with milk, and I don’t wear those Mongolian robes. As a result, when the Spring Festival Gala aired, all my years of hard work were in vain. "

As soon as this complaint came out, everyone went crazy with joy!

"Ah ha ha ha ha ha!"

"Pfft! That's so funny!"

"Your mother is a professional complainer!"

“It looks professional at first glance!”

"That's awesome!"

"It's the first song of the new year!"

"Hahaha, you slapped me for laughing!"

"Oh, who is this powerful person?"

"Let me see who posted this, it's so funny!"

As a result, netizens burst into laughter when they saw this person's name!

"puff!"

"It's Zhang Ye!"

"I am Zhang Ye!"

"Smile!"

"Hahahahaha!"

"It turns out to be Zhang Ye. I wonder who has such fierce fighting power!"

"Come and see! Teacher Zhang is attacking the Spring Festival Gala again!"

"Let me just say that the Spring Festival Gala program team just issued such a highly targeted statement. It basically pointed at the nose and criticized Zhang Ye. It is definitely not his style to not retaliate!"

"Teacher Zhang has also joined the army of jokesters!"

"Zhang Ye is mighty!"

"Well done, Teacher Zhang!"

With the addition of Zhang Ye, the army of jokers was extremely excited!

If it were the complaints of other jokesters, it might not spread so fast, but this complaint was made by Zhang Ye, so the speed of spread can be imagined. Zhang Ye has an extremely large number of Weibo fans. It was a little more than 10 million. In an instant, before the opening dance on TV was over, this complaint had already spread all over the Internet!

…

Grandma’s house.

The third sister shouted: "Hahaha, brother, you are so damaged!"

The second sister laughed, "Brother, are you really complaining?"

"It's so classic!" The eldest sister also kept laughing while looking at Wei Bo covering her mouth, "Our brother is still a good talker! This complaint is so professional, the point of entry is accurate and ruthless!"

Zhang Ye didn't care at all. These are all the essence summed up by netizens and joke makers in his world. Can it be inaccurate? Can you not be cruel?

…

The opening dance is over.

The host started to join the show!

Chen Ye was dressed in bright red, "Welcoming the festival once a year!"

The female host next to her shouted loudly: "The whole country celebrates the New Year!"

There was nothing new in the lines of the hosts. They were all relatively old-fashioned New Year greetings. The only difference from the previous Spring Festival Gala was that the stage had changed. It was more gorgeous and had more technological elements than before.

Soon, the second program started.

It is also a song and dance program, with singing as the focus.

A big-name singer appeared on the stage and sang: "Our country has a new atmosphere!"

A film and television star came on stage and said, "Every year, it looks new."

An old singer sang, "The common people are very happy."

A soprano said, "Praise us, the Communist Party."

This is a new song. I don’t know who wrote the lyrics and music. I haven’t heard it in previous years.

Netizens complained:

"This word is so positive!"

"Khan, are there no other programs?"

"I'm almost asleep."

"Can you please stop being like this? This year's Spring Festival Gala seems to be even more boring than previous years!"

"There are so many flaws that I don't even know how to vomit."

"The skit is coming!"

“I’m looking forward to language programs!”

The third program finally ushered in the first sketch of this year’s Spring Festival Gala.

But when the audience saw it, they were even more stunned.

The skit is called "This is the New Policy". It tells the story of a couple of rural families who encountered some problems and obstacles when they went out to do errands. In the end, they got things done smoothly because of the new policy approved by the country. The skit To wrap things up before the end, everyone praised the good policies.

Netizens have mixed reviews.

"It's okay."

"There are still a few laughs in the previous section."

"That's nonsense. Where did the joke come from? I was speechless the whole time!"

"It's so boring! It's not funny at all!"

"What kind of skit is this?"

"Halo, it's different from what I expected!"

Then there were songs and dances, and slogans shouted again. Finally, the first cross talk work came, which was "Family Reunion" by a large group of 60 people from the Tang Dazhang Cross Talk Group! In the past, it seemed that this program appeared relatively late, close to zero o'clock. However, due to the great pressure of public opinion and too many doubts, the Spring Festival Gala program team made temporary adjustments and moved Tang Dazhang's cross talk ahead of time.

Language stage scene.

Tang Dazhang strode onto the stage with all his brothers and apprentices.

As soon as he came up, Tang Dazhang smiled and waved to the audience, "Friends, audience, we meet again."

There was sparse applause below, and many people were happy when they heard it. It was not that this sentence was funny, but that many people thought of Zhang Ye's satire on Tang Dazhang in his "I Want to Go to the Spring Festival Gala" joke.

"Here, we wish you New Year's greetings first!"

Sixty people bowed in unison and said in unison: "Happy New Year!"

"Today is a good day."

"right."

"It's just one day a year."

"That's right."

The cross talk started, with two people talking at first, and then it moved on to singing. The remaining fifty or so cross talk actors all joined in, including those who played the erhu, some who played string instruments, and a few who sang drums. The lesbians from the book also joined in one after another, and the cross talk was full of excitement, singing and dancing!

Netizens were dumbfounded.

"Is this a cross talk?"

"Why does it feel like it's a singing show?"

"so boring!"

"The only few jokes in it are all old memes from several years ago. One of the memes seems to be very familiar. It seems to be a meme that Zhang Ye and Yao Jiancai used before, but has been modified!"

"This is really a family reunion! I'm pissed!"

"The slogan was really loud, it was even worse than I expected!"

"Tang Dazhang is getting older and is getting worse and worse now. He is out of touch with the times."

"This year's Spring Festival Gala seems to be from a different era than ours. If someone told me that it was the Spring Festival Gala five years ago, I would believe it!"

"I finally know why Zhang Ye and Yao Jiancai can't attend the CCTV Spring Festival Gala this year. Teacher Zhang and Teacher Yao obviously can't have the political consciousness of Tang Dazhang and his gang!"

After a few programs, many people have completely lost their temper!

The jokesters showed off their power one after another.

Even Zhang Ye’s fan club leader Brother Da Dao participated.

Fan Yingyun: "This night, people all over the country can sleep peacefully, and my mother no longer has to worry about my insomnia!"

But among all the complaints from top to bottom, one complaint stood out, "Wonderful, so wonderful! This year's Spring Festival Gala was the best news broadcast I have watched in more than 20 years of life. It abandoned The usual news network broadcast uses a single oral broadcast plus images, integrating songs, dances, skits, and other forms. It promotes the party's good policies in simple and easy-to-understand terms. The country is prosperous and the people live and work in peace and contentment. It is another innovative breakthrough in news propaganda. It deeply implements the Three Proximity Principles and is worthy of learning and understanding by all comrades on the news and propaganda fronts!"

Weibo publisher:

——Zhang Ye.

When the jokesters saw it, they were all shocked!

"Oh my God, this is a complaint!"

"Teacher Zhang shines again!"

"News Feeds?"

"Hahahahaha!"

"I had such a good party, why did you call it News Network! Haha!"

"This complaint is so fucking amazing!"

"Tonight, Teacher Zhang has offended a group of people again!"

After a few minutes, the host started to play couplets.

The host asked, "The country is thriving."

Chen Ye said in the second line, "The people live and work in peace and contentment."

At this time, Zhang Ye made another modest message: "I'll tell you some good news. Comrades who can persist in watching the CCTV Spring Festival Gala this year will definitely have no obstacles to overcome next year!"

"Hahaha!"

"LOL!"

"I'm asking you to offend Zhang Ye! Look!"

"Pfft, hahaha, I decided not to watch the Spring Festival Gala. I will spend the New Year with Zhang Ye's meager salary!"

After the next program ended, the host team came out again and thanked the leaders, thanked the audience for their persistence over the years, and also thanked the Spring Festival Gala program team for their hard work.

Almost at the same time, Zhang Ye's complaint came out again, "Thank you, everyone should thank this year's Spring Festival Gala program team. It was you who made me realize my mistake. Tonight, we owe it to the previous one, the previous one, and the previous one." A deep apology from the Spring Festival Gala - I'm sorry!"

"Sorry? Pfft!"

"Ouch, I can't do it anymore!"

"Zhang Ye is so damaged!"

"I am already laughing so hard in front of the computer! Hahahaha!"

"Yes, we all owe the last Spring Festival Gala an apology! We shouldn't have scolded them in the first place!"

"Are you going to be so funny!"

"Look at Teacher Zhang's ability to harm others, you are really not good at it!"

"Nonsense, when it comes to hurting others, who can compare with Teacher Zhang?"

"Awesome! At the critical moment, you still have to look at Teacher Zhang!"

Many jokers were convinced now, "It is indeed Zhang Ye. His writing style and eloquence are both professional-level. He is not at the same level as amateur jokers like us!"

As soon as the joke comes out, the judgment is made.

Tonight, Zhang Ye had fun with the people, suddenly joined the army of complainers, and directly became the leader of the jokesters, bringing his complaints to the fullest, reaching new heights and new realms!

The Spring Festival Gala live broadcast continues.

Zhang Ye's complaints are also continuing!

He could find something interesting in every sentence of the host, and Zhang Ye could complain about every detail of every program. Countless jokesters have already "stopped working", and it all depends on Zhang Ye, from the first second when the Spring Festival Gala starts, to the last second when the Spring Festival Gala ends! Of course, there were also things that Zhang Ye didn't complain about, such as Zhang Yuanqi, Zhang Xia, and Ci Xiufang's sketch show. But Zhang Ye didn't say anything to anyone he knew and had a good relationship with. This guy has always been like this. ...it’s not good for people!

The people burst into laughter!

Zhang Ye's family members also couldn't laugh or cry.

Mom said: "Son, you don't even eat dumplings but just post on Weibo? Why are you so boring?"

Zhang Ye was full of energy, "You just realized that I'm so boring all the time!"

The third sister was afraid that the world would not be in chaos, "Brother, one more! One more!"

Zhang Ye said: "I posted another one, go give me a like!"

"Copy that! Hahahaha!"

…

The Spring Festival Gala is over.

When the members of the directing team wanted to go online to see how netizens and the public responded to the Spring Festival Gala, the moment they opened Weibo, even the chief director, Xu Yipeng and several other deputy chief directors and staff...were dumbfounded! !

What's this?

What is all this?

Everyone almost spit out a mouthful of old blood!

Zhang Ye! I-bastard-you-grandpa-ah!

You are so damn wicked!

Zhang Ye's hundreds of comments and Weibo comments really shocked the Spring Festival Gala directing team! More than a hundred! You are obviously going to attend the live broadcast of the Spring Festival Gala in Beijing tomorrow. You are obviously busy with a lot of things. You are such a big star. How could you be so leisurely spending the whole night in front of the TV on New Year's Eve? Are you going to complain about our Spring Festival Gala in the evening? Everyone in the Spring Festival Gala directing team started scolding me! !

This is a stinky hooligan!

The most deceptive hooligan in the entertainment industry!

…

[The plane has been rescheduled, so I can only go back to Beijing tomorrow. Please write it carefully when I go back! 】

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