I'm Shenji, what are you doing?

I am a person without happiness, because I don’t know what happiness is?

Asagami Fujino thought so until he was twelve years old.

This seems very ridiculous to outsiders.

The Asakami family is a famous family in Nagano. Being able to have this surname is a blessing in itself. Being born in such a family means that her starting point is naturally much higher than that of ordinary people. Isn't this a pointless moan?

The reality is just the opposite.

It is hypocritical to moan when there is no illness, but it is natural to moan when there is an illness.

Fujino has a disease called "Painless Disease". Can't feel pain, don't know what pain is. And without this kind of comparison, we don’t know the corresponding happiness and joy.

Ever since she accidentally cut her hand with a knife but felt nothing, she has become such an outlier.

She didn't know why the people around her were afraid. There was obviously nothing to be afraid of.

She didn't know why they were laughing, they were obviously not happy at all.

Not crying, not laughing, neither happy nor sad.

Without these two most vivid and important emotions in life, other emotions will become very weak.

Dolls.

Cold beauty.

She heard people say this to her more than once, but she didn't feel it at all.

To be precise, she has no real sense of her own existence.

Sleeping is completing a task, getting up is completing a task, going to school is completing a task, doing homework is also completing a task, and even living itself is a task being completed, like a walking zombie.

It won’t be surprising if I die any time, maybe I’ll be free by then.

Fujino thought this way more than once.

If you have no real sense of life, you will naturally have no fear of death.

Even though her family was on the verge of bankruptcy and the family was divided, asking her mother to remarry, she had no feelings about changing her surname.

Isn’t it just about completing the task? The mission was completed in Nagano and the mission was completed in Kanfuko City. Is there any difference?

Looking back now, I really feel a little scared.

If you die like this, you will never meet that person in your life, and you will never understand what happiness is.

Yes, at the moment when her destiny was about to lead to the abyss, and before her fragile sensibility was worn away by time, she met a man, a man who changed her life and her destiny - Matou Shinji was still a child under ten years old at the time.

This magical child met her at a cocktail party. It was obviously the first time they met, but she saw through the truth that she tried so hard to hide—the "painless syndrome" that her father did not allow her to expose in front of outsiders.

Although they had no contact with each other before, for the first time, they understood what pain was.

It was him who helped him regain his sense of pain.

It was him who made him feel joy.

It was him who took back all the feelings for himself.

He is the second person to admit that he is human, the first being his mother, and the only one in his family who does not call himself a monster.

He said that since he didn't feel anything about that home, he might as well come with me.

He said that you are unique in this world.

He said, I want your power.

He said, become my family.

This is the first time I am needed.

This was the first time I understood the difference in weight between "family" and other people.

There is nothing to hesitate, and nothing to linger on. Since he can give himself pain/pleasure, since he needs himself, he should go to her.

A strange reason, but the purest idea.

A rash decision, but the most sincere hope.

Even if there is hell ahead, she will not hesitate at all - it is much better to feel hell than not to feel it at all. Even if you regret it, it will happen later.

With such emotions in mind, she followed the man she had only met a few times and went to a strange city and a strange house.

But she was wrong about two things, very wrong.

First of all, what awaits her is not hell, but heaven.

No one here would call her a monster and everyone is nice to her.

His father Heya would always ask if there was anything wrong with him, and his sister would help him take care of various chores.

And the one who cared most about him thoroughly implemented his declaration of "need", led him around, and even found a teacher for himself to better learn to control his power.

"Grow up quickly, and you will become our trump card." He said to her the day after he officially became a disciple.

At that moment she cried, laughing and crying.

If this was a dream, she hoped she would never wake up.

If this is not a dream, then she will do everything she can to protect this "happiness".

Yes, this is the taste of "happiness", she tasted it for the first time in her life.

As empty as she had been in the past, the reality at this moment was so strong that it could easily overwhelm her entire past life.

Sound ridiculous?

However, if you have never experienced a life where no matter what you do or how you do it, there is no real sense of reality, you will never be able to understand the preciousness of sound senses.

The girl's heart fell easily.

She remembered every word he said.

He hoped that she would do her best in everything he did.

He wanted her to grow up quickly, so she frantically absorbed knowledge from her teacher.

He asked her to transfer to Yewon Girls' Academy, and she went to school there.

He said that girls should cherish themselves more, so she dressed herself up beautifully every day.

He said that your mother loves you and should visit her more often, so she would accompany her mother every weekend.

He said that if you want to be healthy and happy, you don’t need to work hard.

Because I am always happy, even if I encounter pain, it is still worth being happy.

passive? No opinion?

Fujino won't deny it, because that's the kind of person she is. But there’s nothing wrong with that. Who says it’s necessarily bad if you don’t have your own opinion? Aren’t you living a good life yourself?

Of course, there are still wishes, which were made on the day of the fall, and gradually increase with age——

Twelve years old - listen to him and be his assistant.

Fifteen years old - always stay by his side, no matter in what capacity.

Eighteen years old - if one day I lose all my memory, I must remember his name.

Twenty years old - give him a pair of lovely children. The daughter will be more beautiful than himself, and the son will be like him.

Twenty-two years old - If the Holy Grail can really grant wishes, please listen to my heart and let his wishes come true.

She had never said these words to him, and had always hidden them silently.

But she will use her own actions to do it, five years, ten years, twenty years or even a lifetime.

Just like the life philosophy of the woman she admires most, Matou Elsa.

Companionship is the longest confession of love. Even if everyone in the world leaves you, I will still be by your side.

Always by your side.

PS: I’m addicted to handing out dog food, so keep sending it.

PS2: To digress for a moment, among the characters that appear in Xingyue, the traitor was divided into three levels of the pyramid, but now the residents of the fourth level have appeared. XX in the swimsuit event, that is, what X hair will look like after it grows, and Mao BX's setting is ambiguous. This one clearly defined the combat power - star explosion, and the full output can destroy the planet. Moreover, at the end of the setting, it was clearly stated that if she comes to Earth again and the problems on Earth (the alien god's whitewashing of the Earth) have not been solved, she will solve it herself - in other words, our XX Artoli Miss Ya didn't take Alien Star God seriously at all, and the Alien Star God's strength was greatly weakened.