I'm Shenji, what are you doing?

Let’s talk about a man’s story.

The story of a man who is more idealistic than anyone else, and therefore more desperate than anyone else. .

That man's dream was simple.

I hope that everyone in this world can be happy, I have always prayed for this in my heart.

This is a childish ideal that every teenager has dreamed of at one time, but will give up and abandon after understanding the cruelty of reality.

No matter what kind of happiness, there is a price to pay for sacrifice. All children learn this simple truth as they grow up.

But this man was different.

Maybe he is stupider than anyone else; maybe there is something wrong with his brain; or maybe because he has a destiny that transcends common sense, he might be the kind of person who is called a saint.

When he realizes that all lives in this world are placed on the balance of "sacrifice" and "redemption", and there is absolutely no way to leave one side empty...

From that day on, he was determined to become the master of the scales.

If you want to be more sure and effective in reducing sorrow and resentment in the world, there is only one way.

Even if there is only one person, the less numerous party will be sacrificed in order to save the greater party.

This is the act of killing a minority in order to allow the majority to survive.

Because the more he saves, the better he becomes at killing.

His hands were covered in layers of blood, but he never flinched.

Regardless of whether the means are just or not; regardless of whether the purpose is right or wrong.

Men just want to be a selfless and unselfish balance.

You can never misestimate the magnitude of life.

A life, regardless of high or low, old or young, is just a quantitative unit.

Men save lives indiscriminately; they continue to kill in the same way.

However, by the time he discovered it, it was already too late.

Cherishing all life equally also means having no love for anyone.

If he could take this iron rule to heart early on, there might be a way to gain redemption.

If he had frozen his young mind earlier, made it necrotic, and turned himself into a bloodless and tearless measuring machine, he might have been able to just coldly choose the living and the dead throughout his life without having to worry about it.

But this man was different.

The joyful smiles of others satisfy his soul; the sounds of pain from others shake his spirit.

When you see someone else's grievances being unable to appeal, you feel angry. When you see someone crying lonely tears, you can't help but reach out to wipe them away.

Although he pursues a dream that transcends the common sense of the world, he retains too much humanity.

I don’t know how many times this contradiction has tortured the man.

Sometimes it's friendship, sometimes it's love.

Even if the life he loves deeply is placed on the balance with countless other unfamiliar lives, he will not make a mistake - after waking up from the nightmare of losing the person he loved when he was young, he has never made a mistake again.

Precisely because he falls in love with others, he will treat that person's life equally with others, cherish it equally, and give it up equally.

He always meets and loses important people again and again.

The father who raised him.

The adoptive mother who accompanied him during his youth.

Then, there is her beloved wife.

He already knew that he would lose her. His dream was too far away and could not be realized by humans alone. If he wanted to realize it, he could only rely on a "miracle" called the "Universal Wishing Machine". To achieve this miracle, sacrifices must be made. , that is her wife, this has been known since the two met nine years ago.

I have been shaken, regretted, and suffered pain, but compared with the happiness of all mankind, these are too insignificant.

He believed so firmly that when he heard that the only "miracle" that could realize his dream had long been broken, even though he was on the verge of collapse, he still held on to his last glimmer of hope, hoping that everyone was lying to him and that they were wrong.

With this thought in mind, he jumped into the contents that spilled out of the "Holy Grail".

As his consciousness blurred and his vision changed, he saw a dream.

In the dream, his wife was beside him, cuddling up to him with a gentle smile, standing with him on the mountain of corpses.

"I knew you would come, I believe you can get here."

"Ellie - no, who are you? What is this place?"

Although the woman in front of him looked exactly like his wife, he knew that she was not his wife.

Not only because the woman wears black clothes that the wife never wears, but also because her temperament is completely different from that of his wife.

"This is the place where your wish comes true, inside the Holy Grail you have been seeking."

the woman replied cheerfully.

The man was speechless and looked around.

The black mud was like a sea of ​​activity.

There are hills piled up with rotting corpses everywhere, slowly sinking into the sea of ​​black mud.

The sky was red, as red as blood. In the black mud rain, the dark sun supported the sky.

The wind that blew was a sound of curses and groans.

If you want to use words to describe it, isn't this... hell?

"You said...this is the Holy Grail?"

"Yes. But you don't have to be afraid, because this is like an illusory dream without entity, just waiting for the moment of birth."

The woman pointed her finger at the sky, signaling to the man.

The man mistakenly thought it was the sun. The center of the black world rotating in the sky was actually a "hole" in the sky. The hole was filled with endless deep darkness, and the super mass seemed to suppress everything. Like broken pieces.

"That's the Holy Grail. Although it doesn't have a physical body yet, the entire container is full. All you have to do is say your wish. No matter what kind of wish it receives, it will choose the appropriate form that can fulfill it. In this way After it acquires a physical body, it can go 'outside'."

"..."

"Come on, so please give it a "form" quickly. You are the one who is qualified to give it an idea. Tell the Holy Grail your wish."

The man looked at the terrifying "hole". Ordinary humans would never tolerate what was inside. He asked the question again.

"...Who are you? Why are you pretending to be my wife?"

The man suppressed his fearful thoughts with anger and asked the woman in front of him.

"I am Irisviel, you can think of me as Irisviel."

The man pulled out his most trusted magic weapon, a pistol with rifle performance, and pointed it at the woman.

"Stop talking nonsense and answer quickly."

Facing the muzzle filled with murderous intent, the woman in black smiled lonelyly, as if she felt sorry for the man for asking him about such a trivial matter.

"You're right. I can't deny that this is a mask. If I don't put on an existing personality as a 'shell', I can't communicate with others. In order to convey my hope to you, I can only pretend This is the disguise. She is the person closest to you, and I choose to borrow her shell."

Men understand not by theory but by intuition.

This being who exists "inside the Holy Grail" and claims to be "no one" is——

"——Are you the...will of the Holy Grail?"

"Yes, your explanation is not wrong."

The thing that looked exactly like the man's wife nodded with satisfaction. But on the other hand, the man's brows furrowed more and more with uneasy confusion.

"This is impossible. The Holy Grail is just pure 'power', and it cannot have any consciousness at all."

"This may have been true before, but it is different now. I have a will and a wish. My wish is 'I hope to be born in this world.'"

"How can it be……"

Strange, so strange.

If what she said is true. Then this is not a "wishing machine" that men always desire and can do whatever they want.

"——If you have a will, let me ask you. How does the Holy Grail intend to fulfill my wish?"

The woman tilted her head, showing a confused expression. It felt as if the man asked something very incredible.

"You should know this kind of thing better than anyone else, right?"

"……What did you say?"

"Your existence itself is already infinitely close to the Holy Grail, so you can still remain rational even if you are connected to me now. If you were ordinary, you would have already suffered a nervous breakdown when you came into contact with the black mud."

"Don't you already know the way to save the world? So I will follow your previous practices, accept your ideas, and realize your wishes."

"what are you saying?"

Kiritsugu didn't understand. Because he didn't want to understand it like this anyway.

"Answer me, what is the Holy Grail going to do? What will happen if that thing comes to this world!?"

"Then you have to ask your heart."

Thin white palms covered the man's eyes, and the world turned into darkness——

There are two ships on the sea.

There are three hundred people on one ship and two hundred people on the other ship. There are a total of five hundred passengers and you. Assume that these five hundred and one people are the last survivors of mankind.

So please answer.

"The bottoms of the two ships opened a large hole that cannot be repaired at the same time. Only you have the ability to repair the ships, but when you repair one ship, the other ship will sink. Which ship will you repair? "

"...Of course it's a ship carrying three hundred people." The man answered without hesitation.

"As soon as you decide to do this, the two hundred people on the other ship will hold on to you and demand: 'Repair our ship first'. What should I do?"

"this……"

Before he could speak the answer, an M950 submachine gun appeared in Kiritsugu's hand.

The gun was like an automatic machine, suddenly spraying flames from the muzzle. The man just stared blankly.

Every bullet fired from the gun killed four people, and in the blink of an eye, two hundred people were killed.

"——Correct answer. This is you."

The man watched blankly as the ship carrying a boatload of corpses sank into the sea. He felt that all the corpses lying on the deck seemed to be familiar faces.

"Next, the three hundred people who survived abandoned the damaged boats and boarded two new boats to continue sailing. This time there were two hundred people in one boat and one hundred people in the other. But the bottoms of the two boats were different. Breaking a big hole at the same time.”

"Hey..." The man felt something was wrong.

"A hundred people in a small boat kidnap you and force you to repair their boat first. Well, what should we do?"

"This is"

Before the man could answer, there was a flash of white light, a bomb exploded, and a hundred people turned into flakes of algae on the seabed. This is how men do things. Just like what he had done over and over again, he started killing.

"--correct answer."

"This is wrong...impossible!"

How is this correct?

Two hundred people survived. For these two hundred men, three hundred men died. As a result, the needle of the scale is turned upside down.

"No, there is nothing wrong with the calculation. You did sacrifice the few to save the many. Look at the next question."

The Game Master continued, completely ignoring the man's protests.

One hundred and twenty people were put on the scale with eighty people, and the man tortured and killed the eighty people.

Then came eighty people and forty people. The man heard with his own ears the death screams of the forty people. Every face seemed familiar, they were people he had killed with his own hands in the past.

Sixty people and twenty people——

Twenty-five people and fifteen people - multiple choice questions continue;

The number of victims continues to increase; the mountains of corpses continue to accumulate.

"Is this...what you want me to see?"

The man felt sick to his stomach at this low-level game, and he asked the thing that claimed to be the 'Will of the Holy Grail'.

"Yes, this is your truth, the answer from Emiya Kiritsugu's heart, and it is the wish that the Holy Grail must fulfill as a wish machine."

"No!" The man whose hands were dyed bright red screamed.

"This is not my wish! I hope there is another way...so I can only rely on 'miracles'..."

"The method you have not recognized cannot be included in your wish. If you wish to save the world, you can only use the method you have recognized to achieve it."

"Are you kidding! What kind of miracle is this...?"

"It's a miracle. What you are looking forward to but cannot realize personally will be realized on a huge scale that humans cannot accomplish. What is this if not a miracle?"

There are five people left, each of whom was the most important person to men in the past. But he was still forced to choose between three people or two people.

The man cried desperately while pulling the trigger.

The father's head was blown off, and the adoptive mother's brains were splattered everywhere.

"You... came to this world... intending to do these things to... all mankind? You said this is to realize my ideal!?"

"Of course. Your wish is most suitable to be used as the form of the Holy Grail. You are the person qualified to shoulder 'all the evil in this world'."

There are three people left, whether to save two people or choose one person.

The hand holding the dagger was shaking.

The man's tears had dried up, his eyes were as hollow as the dead, and he slashed open the body of his closest comrade with a knife.

One knife after another, he kept swinging the dagger in his hand.

In the end, only two people are left alive in this world.

An equivalent value that cannot be measured on a scale.

The last hope that has been protected until now at the cost of 498 lives.

The man who had accomplished everything fell into a trance, like an empty shell in the warmth of the stove.

In a warm room with a soft atmosphere that made him nostalgic, his "wife" and "daughter" were laughing happily.

In other words - this is the peaceful world he longs for.

A perfect world where there is no more fighting and no one gets hurt.

"Welcome home, Kiritsugu. You're finally back!"

The daughter's face was filled with joy, and she hung her two little hands around her father's neck.

This is a castle in the far north that is blocked by a snowstorm. This is the only place where you can feel comfortable.

Go through a bloody life and finally find this non-existent happiness.

If this little kid's room was everything in the world, there would be no need to worry about a thing.

"——So you understand? This is the wish that the Holy Grail will fulfill for you."

The wife smiled beautifully at her husband who was sharing this happy moment with her.

Next, just say your wish and expect it to happen.

All that's left is happiness.

Their family of three will become the last human beings and live happily ever after on this Death Star where everything has been destroyed.

"...We can no longer look for walnut sprouts..."

Even the scene of the snowstorm has disappeared from the scenery outside the window, only the black mud as dark as the deep sea is flowing. The man looked at the scene outside the window and muttered to himself.

The daughter shook her head and said to him.

"It doesn't matter. Illya is content as long as Kiritsugu and mother are by her side."

The man hugged his daughter whom he loved so much that he was almost crazy, and burst into tears.

"Thank you...Daddy also loves Illya the most. I swear, daddy definitely loves you sincerely."

The movements of his hands were very smooth. No matter what his inner thoughts were, he was like a designed mechanical device, pressing the muzzle of his most trusted magic gift Contender against the small chin of his beloved daughter.

"——Farewell, Illya."

Before the young girl could figure out what was going on, her head exploded with a gunshot.

The silver-haired pieces of flesh splashed onto the man's cheeks that were wet from crying.

The wife wailed loudly.

Her eyes were wide open, her hair was disheveled, and she was screaming like crazy.

"What-what did you do!?"

Kiritsugu pinned down his wife, who rushed forward like a ghost girl, and grabbed her slender neck with his hands.

"Holy Grail...you must not exist..."

Although he knew that this was just a dream, the person in front of him was not the real wife, and the person who was killed was not the real daughter. But men also know that a real wife will cry in despair because her daughter was killed, and she will feel hatred for her husband who killed her own daughter. Those feelings are by no means false, and he cannot forget the crime he committed.

Looking directly at her, the man endured these emotions while exerting all his strength on his hands to strangle his wife's neck tightly.

"My dear, what are you doing? Why are you rejecting the Holy Grail, and us...my Illya...why are you doing this!?"

"--because I--"

The sound coming from the man's throat was extremely empty, like the wind blowing through the empty space, without sadness or anger.

He gave up the miracle he pursued, and also gave up interests that were completely contrary to his original intention. At this moment, his heart was almost dry.

"I want to - save the world -"

All he has left is the philosophy that he has carried out to this day. This sentence sounds so hollow.

The woman in her wife's coat was solid, her snow-white face was swollen red due to congestion, and her crimson eyes, which were always looking at him with love and longing, were now stained with curses and resentment.

"—I curse you—"

The originally nimble and gentle slender fingers clasped the man's shoulders, and black mud flowed in from the five fingers that were deeply embedded in the flesh.

"Emiya Kiritsugu...I curse you...pain...regret until death...absolutely, I will never forgive you..."

"OK."

The mud full of hatred covered the man's body, as if it wanted to pollute his body and soul.

Even so, the man still didn't let go. He even forgot why the tears on his cheeks were flowing, and said while squeezing the woman's neck.

"It doesn't matter. I said—I'll carry it."

The woman's neck bones were broken in his trembling hands.

Again, the scene changes.

The familiar stone floor, familiar environment, his wife and comrades who had been "killed" were looking at him with concern.

"Are you OK?"

"Is there any discomfort?"

The real wife releases the magic of healing and purification on herself over and over again, and the radiance scattered on her fingertips makes the man feel so warm.

Looking back, when I was swallowed by the cursed black mud, there was always a light protecting me, a weak light that contained hope.

At this moment, man, Emiya Kiritsugu understood that he had not lost everything. The person he loved and who loved him was always by his side.

The man shed tears again, this time they were tears of joy.

"I'm back, Airi, Maiya."

PS: The dream should be composed based on Kiritsugu's own memory. Even if Irisviel is swallowed by the Holy Grail, it is impossible to carry the memories of Emiya Noriken (Kiritsugu's father) and Natalie (Kiritsugu's adoptive mother), so This scene will happen regardless of whether Irisviel is swallowed or not.