Interstellar Love Hunting Guide

"Do I look like an idiot? Do I look like a stupid B? I have been a squadron leader in elementary school for a week. Don't I know two bars?"

Russell seldom gets angry, but every time he gets angry, it makes me very sad, especially when he grabs my collar and makes his hands all strangled. He must be very painful, right?

"I said I came to contraception, you must say you come, will you do it? Do you know how to read the instructions? Do you know how to eat the contraceptive pill after you buy it? Dad, it’s still a sextuplet. At the full moon, I can collect two sacks of money! Do you say we are four or six or three or seven?"

"All, all to you." I'm a bit unsure whether he is serious or scolding me, but past experience tells me that I must say something at this time, otherwise he will think that I don't love him anymore and perfunct him. .

"Go to hell!" He yelled hysterically, and then pushed me hard. When I was hesitant to pretend to be stressed, or hold on firmly, he had already covered his mouth and ran to the toilet. .

Pregnancy is really hard work, but fortunately, he has to vomit after a few words, so that I have time to cool down. It is a skill to comfort pregnant women with hormone imbalance, and the blood tank is empty quickly.

Grandpa Ollie once told me that giving birth is a very difficult thing. For example, his father, according to incomplete statistics, and his destined partner XXOO more than 23,600 times before he got a fertilized egg. And he also gave birth to my father Evans after 120 years of marriage with his destined partner.

As for me, not to mention, my father died of illness shortly after giving birth, so I always thought that I would be like all the descendants of the family. Enter the interactive network, or drive the spacecraft to set sail.

But life has given me so many surprises. I didn’t expect that my son would have enough of a football team after four years of marriage, and it was a luxurious lineup with substitutes—12 in total!

"Want to drink water?" I poured a glass of water and handed it to him far away. Russell still squatted by the toilet and gagged, his thin body convulsed from time to time, which made me feel particularly distressed.

He drank the water in one breath, then threw the cup to me, then stood up, and started a new round of crusade against me: "Honestly, did you deliberately? You didn't take the pill at all, did you? Hold my eyes Sauter! I know both you and Atoto's plot, you have long wanted to make up a football team, right!?"

"No, no, no!" This kind of black pot must not be carried, joking, he will definitely divorce me, "I have eaten it, I have not eaten one piece according to the instructions, and the time is right, I swear! "I swear I really ate it. I ate all of the fallen ones. Although I like children and football teams, I prefer him to be happy. Besides, I am sure that one day he will also want a football team. Yes, men like football teams, it's just a matter of time.

"Then why am I still pregnant?!" He looked at me fiercely, the test stick in his hand almost stuffed into my nostril, "Look, two red lines, two! There are strengthening stars and eight arrows next to them. Eight stars, Sauter, it's more real than diamonds!"

"Everything and everything has accidents." I dig out the leftover contraceptive pill from the drawer of the sink, and opened the instruction manual to show him, "Hey, it is also written in the instruction manual. There is a possibility of 0.01% contraceptive failure. Isn't it? How can you blame me? You don't know that luck has been weird since we got married."

He stared at me with his mouth open, his little white face gradually flushed red, then he slammed the test stick under my feet, turned his head and walked away.

"Russell, Russell..." I hurriedly followed to support him. After vomiting, he usually fainted for a while. As expected, he fell down without taking two steps. Fortunately, I caught him.

"Hey, isn't it a sextuplet? Ten months have passed. I swear that I will take more leave this time and come back to accompany you." His small body slid straight down, and I simply hugged him. When he got up, he was still wearing a nightgown, because he got up early in the morning for a urine sample pregnancy test and didn't even wear underwear, and his little **** was cold.

"Your sister, the sextuplets are still'Isn't it'. You can search the entire galaxy to see who has given birth to sextuplets! There are none of the lightning beasts! There are only five firewing birds at most!" He was in my arms. Unwillingly twisting my neckline, I watched as the cotton thread on the button fell off. The small wooden button collapsed with a sound. I was overjoyed and thought I had found a savior. I put him on the bed and immediately found the sewing box.

"Otherwise, let's have an abortion? Panther and Bi Wizards are only three years old, four younger than two years old, I really can't accept another litter so quickly, sows are more disciplined than me." He is bitter. Talking with his face, but the body has already begun to conditioned reflex to thread the needle and sew buttons, looking like a standard wise helper. God knows how much I like him like this. It's much more cute than when he was training people on the mine star, chasing stars on the set, and playing double buttons in the living room. From the eyes to the movements, he is soft, and it turns out that the man doing the work is the sexiest... …

"Abortion?" I suddenly realized what he was talking about, "You mean abortion? That's not possible. The reproduction of the bat and rainbow dragon family is protected by the constitution. Unless it is an irreversible teratogenesis, a normal egg must never be aborted!" This is a matter of principle. I have killed many people on the battlefield, but not my own fertilized eggs.

He stopped, staring at me with dead eyes, and then raised the needle to poke...

Forget it, let him poke, and it doesn’t hurt. He still loves me when I look back. I opened my chest to poke him and stretched out my hand to help him warm his butt. The snow season has just passed, and the bedroom temperature setting is not high. He is so light. It’s easy to catch cold when running around with your ass.

"Okay, it's still early. You can sleep for a while." I waited until he poked enough before confiscating his steel needles, covering both of them with a big quilt, and pulling his hand to play with his fingers, I found out When I broke his fingers, he would count subconsciously, so that he would soon fall asleep by counting himself.

This time, he did not fall asleep as fast as he had imagined. He stared at the ceiling with wide eyes. There was such a rare connotation in his always blank eyes. The corners of his mouth turned left and right. As if talking to himself silently.

"What are you thinking about?" Does he also think deeply about it? I'm curious.

He frowned, blew the strands of hair sticking to his lips, did not answer me, continued to mutter and say something, I became more curious, and stood up and gently pressed him: "What the **** are you struggling with? Tell me. I listen, I will help you."

He turned his head and looked at me, grinning, "If you are pregnant, you can take maternity leave, right?"

"Huh?" Looking at his weird smile, I suddenly had a bad feeling. A cold electric current rushed up from my spine. He raised his hand and touched my head, and suddenly said softly, "Sott, you love me." ?"

"What?" I think I have guessed what he wants to do.

"Now, you are also a shapeshifter, and you will be pregnant too, right? Can someone take out the eggs in my stomach and you help me carry them?" Sure enough, I still understand him.

"Don't think so much is gone." I touched his head lovingly, "Go to sleep my dear, throw away all the untuned thoughts in your mind, you won't mention it when you wake up. Such a brain-dead question."

He immediately put away his gentle expression miserly, and continued to accuse me of my ruthlessness, my cruelty, and my unreasonable harassment with his eyes fiercely.

But I know he will figure it out, because he loves me and our fertilized eggs.

When I woke up again, it was noon. Russell’s complexion was still not good. Like the last few pregnancies, he was listless and sick. He vomited again when the tooth cleaner was put in his mouth. Later, I had to lie on the bed and let me wipe his face and change his clothes.

"How about the name Luo Xiaoan?" He suddenly said when I put on his socks.

"Huh?" I couldn't react a little bit, didn't he figure it out so quickly, right?

"One is Luo Xiaoan, and the other is Luo Xiaoyi. Wipe, it doesn't work. Finally, I have to change it. Doesn't it conform to the character setting of my chin." He vomited and his vitality came back. A carp stood up, his socks dumped me. One end, "Call Luo Xiaoquan, safety first."

Although I don’t like to use the name of the hero as a housekeeper, but... let him be happy, besides, children have the right to change their names at the coming-of-age ceremony. When the time comes, they can change it by themselves, and they can also increase theirs. A sense of accomplishment-look, I am more educated than my dad!

"Good name." As long as he happily accepts the reality of pregnancy, I will be very happy, and immediately applauded and admired, "It is easy to remember and auspicious, much better than Father Evans."

"Hehehehe, count you acquainted!" Russell took all my flattery photos, gently took off the socks from my head and began to put on my feet, "Happy, happy, safe, all, how nice, listen It looks like an idiom, and I will take it home for my mother during the Chinese New Year. Wow, like the Four King Kong, Dora Feng. "It seems that he has completely accepted the reality, and he has begun to gallop and YY the future is good. It's time to marry an off-line, oh no, a wife who is thinking about it, it's great!

We decided to announce this good news to everyone at lunch time. Recently, the children have started to learn etiquette, and the atmosphere at the dinner table has calmed down a lot. No one throws a fork or a knife anymore, although no one eats half of the meal and comes to punch me with a baby bottle. Quite lonely, but the royal etiquette represents the royal majesty. Soon they will go out to participate in social activities, and they will participate in the Scouting in the future. All these sacrifices are necessary.

"Everyone, Dad and I have good news to announce." Before I started, I said happily. All six children looked at me with bright eyes. I saw fleshy elbows in Panther's eyes and flying chess in Beech's eyes. I saw Xiao Mei Nan in Bannon's eyes, spacecraft parts in Mei Qi's eyes, Barbie in Luo Xiaohuan's eyes, and gold coins in Luo Xiaole's eyes.

Oh, good, they are all honest and good kids.

"Our family is about to add new members, guess who it is?" I asked persuasively.

"Aunt Huang is coming?" Panther said happily, "Have she finally decided to come to our galaxy to chase Grandpa?"

"Grandpa doesn't like Aunt Huang! He likes the accountant at the Ejita branch! That black unicorn!" Beech retorted his brother immediately.

"Do you like it, do you like the candy he bought you?" Father Evans looked a little embarrassed, and gritted his teeth against Beech. I really didn't know that he had this kind of fate, but it was difficult to deal with the affairs of the elders, so I automatically ignored the children's inattentive answers.

"You are going to have a new little brother." Russell announced the answer in advance in a considerate manner.

"Yes, Dad is pregnant, and in ten months there will be six little babies coming to our home." I happily announced, and at the same time raised the wine glass in my hand, "Let's bless the little babies. , You are all going to be brothers."

"Great!" Luo Xiaole's eyes glowed in excitement. As the youngest, I understand his mood very well. In fact, when I was a child, I often imagined Caton as my brother, and then called him to call my brother, even though he didn't. I'm willing, but just hit it.

"I want a younger sister." Panther looked at Russell hopefully, "Dad, will you have a younger sister? A rotten girl like a big cousin, she said that when I get old, she will write me a biography of her."

"Mie haha, don't you already have a younger sister." Beech haha ​​smiled and pointed to Luo Xiaohuan. He is still wearing a small skirt with horns and braids today. Although he still has a reluctant expression on his face, he is obviously a little used to it. .

In fact, this is not good. Pseudo mothers are not mainstream everywhere, so I'd better ask Russell to change him back in the future. Besides, not everyone is suitable for long hair. It is enough to have a beautiful boy with long hair at home.

"I want the real sister." Panther said seriously, "Don't be fake mothers and fakes!"

"Wow!" Luo Xiaohuan was despised, and immediately burst into tears, "Brother, you hate it the most...and it's not the one who likes to wear skirts... Dad blames you and I don't care about you anymore.嘤嘤嘤嘤......"

"I don’t have my sister, whoever bullies Luo Xiaohuan in the future, I will be a ladyboy!" Russell was the most powerful at the critical moment. When the wine glass was on the table, he exuded a domineering look, and Panther’s expression was frozen on his face. , Lowered his head and glanced between his legs, and then joined his legs together.

It's wrong to scare the child with this kind of thing, but... I looked at Russell's face and decided not to remind him of this.

"I'll come next time." After dinner, I accompany Russell on a walk in the garden. His mood has completely calmed down, and he looks very rational, "Contraception is a technical job, you can't."

"Well, I was also afraid of hurting your body. After all, it hurts me to take birth control pills." After the initial joy, thinking of the sins that he would suffer every time he became pregnant, I felt sorry for him. "From now on It’s up to you."

"You said, remember."

"I must remember that you can record it with a repeater and play it to me every day."

Actually, I don’t have much ambitions for childbearing. It’s good to have a football team. I don’t necessarily have to make up a lineup to play against. If it doesn’t work, there are grandsons. Panther will grow up very quickly. Qi is also a very popular type. Although he often suffers from headaches or something, it is said that sick and beautiful men are also cute...