King of Stage

"Ronan, what has been the biggest change in your life in the past three years?"

The reporter right in front of her was a woman in her thirties. She was well-dressed with the latest trendy freckle makeup and looked exquisite and young. Her slightly curly chestnut curly hair was lazily draped over her shoulders, and there was a professional smile on the corner of her mouth. Holding the mobile phone in his right hand, the questions raised are displayed on the screen.

Although her smile is perfect, as if carefully measured, she can show her most moving and beautiful side on the TV screen at any time, but Ronan, who is sitting face to face, can still capture it in those eyes. A look of concern, with gentle curiosity.

It wasn't ridicule or contempt, but sincere concern, but it was precisely this concern that made Ronan's arm muscles tense slowly.

Ronan was very familiar with this look, and couldn't be more familiar with it. It was pity and sympathy, as if looking at a weak person or a loser. Since he lost his hearing due to the tumor compressing the nerve three years ago, he has had to face such gazes every day, every hour, and even every moment.

Controlling the surging emotions in his heart, Ronan raised his hands and completed the answer in sign language, "I can't sing."

In fact, Ronan did not lose his voice, he could still speak, and of course he could also sing, but because of his deafness, he couldn't hear his own voice at all, so that he lost his judgment, and then everything went into darkness .

He once thought that the deaf world was so quiet that there was no sound, but it was not the case.

The world of the deaf is noisy, like being in a boundless ocean, always able to catch the trivial buzzing sound, but it has no meaning, it seems that it is not the language of a channel at all, and then the world falls into it like this In the endless nothingness.

Gradually, he also fell silent, and over time, he seemed to have forgotten how to speak.

After the reporter learned the answer from the sign language interpreter next to him, he fell silent, and there was a trace of forbearance in his eyes, and he sighed endlessly.

Ronan is a singer of the new generation. His career is on the rise. He is preparing for his second album. Countless fans and passers-by are looking forward to it, and it is about to open up a new situation. However, three years ago, Ronan suddenly lost his hearing. , the career was completely interrupted, and then gradually disappeared from the public eye, and countless netizens expressed their sympathy.

A year ago, another news broke that Ronan's vision also began to degenerate, and it is very likely that he will completely lose his vision in the next three to seven years. There was another wave of mournful voices on the Internet, but after all, it still failed to change Ronan's fate of being gradually forgotten.

until recently.

Ronan appeared in the public's field of vision again as a songwriter. Although it hasn't caused much sensation for the time being, keen reporters still smelled the explosive news at the first time.

The reporter sighed lightly, if he wasn't sick...

"Ronan, then, what do you most want to do now?" The reporter regained his composure and typed the question on the phone screen again.

Ronan's eyesight is not deteriorating fast, he can still see things now, including the unnatural flash in the reporter's expression - not clear but still able to see, but everything has become blurred, just It seems to be covered with a thin veil.

"Sing."

Ronan answered with his mouth and sign language.

Then the reporter asked the next question without pausing, "Ronan, have you still not given up your dream of singing?"

give up?

After confirming that his eyes did not make a mistake in reading, Ronan's arm muscles tensed up again, his mouth full of bitterness, even though the words contained no emotion.

It took all my strength to control the urge to clench my fist:

He never gave up. He never gave up, even if he was forced to stop temporarily, he did not surrender!

"No."

Despite the ambiguity, Ronan still expresses his thoughts word by word, clearly and accurately with his voice. Those eyes that lost their light just stared at the reporter in front of him quietly, telling his heart The emotions surging in the depths are more vivid and powerful than words.

The interview is still going on, but the reporter no longer continues to entangle the sick topic of deafness and blindness, but focuses on professional topics related to music.

The work was finally over, Ronan stood up and sent all the staff away, then returned to the sofa and sat down heavily, his body sank deeply into the cotton on the back of the chair, tiredly dragging his body down slowly, as if Like a free fall, the noise and heat of the surrounding air slowly settled, and the vitality that could be felt on the surface of the skin was slowly cooled in the moonlight, and then the world calmed down again.

buzz buzz.

buzz buzz.

The chaotic noise was still surging in his ears, but he was completely used to it.

Many times, the world can make people feel depressed and even hopeless, but Ronan believes in music, just like some people believe in fairy tales——

He has always firmly believed that when the notes flow slowly, those melodies are always reminding that some things cannot be taken away by darkness after all, and the colors and excitement of life are embellished in different ways. his world.

only……

In the dead of night, bathed alone under the bright moonlight, he couldn't help thinking, what would life be like if he hadn't lost his hearing? What would the world look like if he could still sing?

Like now.

Ronan spread out his palm and stretched it out cautiously, carefully feeling the cold moonlight falling on his palm through the palm-sized window, depicting the brilliance and magnificence of the stars in the sky, exploring the depth and vastness of the infinite universe, using My own brain imagined what kind of majesty those magnificence would be.

Then, I silently folded my palms together, as if I could grasp the universe, closed my eyes, regained my inner peace, and fell asleep slowly and slowly.

Drowsy, Ronan began to dream.

He dreamed that he was standing on the stage, holding a guitar, a light, a high stool and a microphone, and three other companions. There were no extra decorations, but it was enough.

The milky-yellow light slowly fell down, and the skin surface could feel the slightly hot temperature. The guests under the stage were drinking beer, eating French fries, and smoking cigarettes. The sound seemed to be immersed in his own world, but from the corner of his eyes, he could see it projected toward the stage, and he was enjoying his performance thoughtfully.

The musical notes flowed and jumped between the strings like gurgling water, and he was singing loudly.

Everything is so real.

Those pictures, those colors, those surges... are like the echoes surging in the depths of the valley, those near and those far away, but it is difficult to distinguish clearly, just buzzing in the ear, but the chaos is clear, even the buzzing in the bar So real is the face and the babble-babble of the door in the shadows.

Then--

hum.

There was a muffled and long-winded buzzing in my ear, and it was pulled away like this, and then the scene in my vision began to blur, and the colorful orange light and shadow turned into blurred spots, slowly spreading, and finally evolved into a blurred spot. Clouds of smoke, characters and scenes are turned into large expanses of color.

"Ronan!"

A confident shout came from far and near, so clear and so vivid, it pulled Ronan's attention in an instant, trying to find a familiar voice in the halo——

Because of the Jiangnan dialect, I can't tell the difference between the nasal sound and the nasal sound in Mandarin, so that I always call "Luo Lan" and "Luo Nan" silly and unclear. When I was young, my parents used to make such a sound for me. I was annoyed and depressed at the neutral name, but when I heard it again at this time, there was a burst of excitement and joy in my heart.

It seemed to be my mother's voice.

But... Ronan was disappointed.

I tried to open my eyes wide, but I couldn't find the figure of my mother. Instead, the scenes around the stage went back and forth between clear and blurred boundaries:

This is a bar.

On the left is a bar counter. Lemon-yellow lights envelope the busy bartender, who leans forward to receive requests from customers. The golden beer foam and amber whiskey liquid refract the dim light, vaguely outlining the other three points. The blurred outline of the second site.

The guests on the right hand side are scattered in the booths, next to two pool tables, a jukebox and two dartboards, the sparse guests are enjoying their own entertainment night, either gloomy or laughing His expression was blurred in the spot of light, and he couldn't see it accurately.

pain.

The picture in the field of vision was blurred again, the light was too dazzling, and the dry eyes were covered with a thin layer of water mist. I closed my eyes instinctively, but I could still feel the temperature of the hot light falling on the eyelids. The water vapor evaporated before it could condense into teardrops.

what happened?

Opening the eyes again, the blue-black light and shadow surged below, and the deep yellow halo rolled over the top, and then the halo slowly penetrated downwards, rendering the light and shadow into peacock blue fuzzy outlines little by little, thick and colorful The splendor of the painting is as wonderful as a splash-ink oil painting, and the colors seem to be endowed with vitality, and the vigorous vitality is laid out in the field of vision.

He can see it.

Completely unfamiliar, unheard-of but real and clear scenes cannot be depicted by imagination alone. Lifelike images can be embodied in every detail-so vivid and so clear, this is something I have not felt for a long time in the past year clear.

He can hear it.

The sounds from corners and corners spread from near to far, the sounds of punches being toasted and fighting wine, shouts of looking for waiters, noises of arguing and arguing, the world suddenly became clear—those underwater sounds All disappeared, just like this one brain drilled out of the water.

Those colors, so rich and so bright, rushed towards us like a waterfall, and the powerful impact made Ronan hold his breath involuntarily.

Those voices are so clear and vivid that they can even capture the complaints of bar guests, so beautiful that people are reluctant to close their eyes.

If this is a dream, can he not wake up?