Kiss Me Not

236 Assess My Feelings

[UNEDITED]

Kimmy did not know why but her heart stopped beating as soon as she saw Cain's caller ID on her phone. She suddenly felt something awkward, like she was committing some adultery or being unfaithful.

'Wait?? It's not like I'm in a relationship with anyone, so why should I feel something like that?!' she mused as she put back the phone on her ear.

"Harry, I will call you back. I have an incoming call that could be something important. I will hang up now," Kimm said before quickly ending the line for Harry to answer Cain.

"Yes? What is it?" Kimmy asked.

"I will go directly to Derhan Palace. Gavin asked for me. In case you want me to go pick you up, I might arrive late," Cain informed.

"That's all?" Kimmy asked with a creased forehead.

"Yeah, I mean, it took you a long time to reply to my message, so I thought to call you instead of leaving you a text message," Cain answered.

"Alright. Anyway, no need to pick me up. I will see you tomorrow morning at work. Bye," Kimmy said, then quickly ended the call.

She released a long deep frustrated sigh.

"What's wrong? Problem with men?" Leila interrupted as she walked towards her daughter and put the tray on the table. She poured some tea on Kimmy's cup then handed it to her before sitting beside her daughter.

"Hmm, promise I won't meddle in your personal life again, dear. But then I hope you can trust me like before where you will confide things in me in all aspects. I mean, I can help you with a bit of advice to take as one of your options?" Leila commented with a wink. She was choosing her words carefully, avoiding sounding like she was demanding.

Leila heaved a sigh before adding, "When you left, I feel like my whole world crumbled, Kimmy. I realized my mistakes, and I am truly sorry, Kimmy. This mother of yours has been too much. I drive you away. I promise I won't do it again, so please stay… I was hoping you wouldn't push me away because I missed you. I am so worried when you're away like that without bothering to call me."

"Good thing you call your cousins. At least I feel at ease knowing from both Cedric and Gavin that you are safe and sound. I will not do that again, so please don't leave like that. I will behave and never dictate to you or push you to do things against your will. I thought what I was doing was best for you. I didn't realize you've suffocated already with how much my love and possessiveness for you is."

It was true. For Kimmy, her mother was like her diary as she grew up. That was why she trusted her with everything. She loved her mother too much that she let her do whatever her mother wanted for her. She grew up pitying her miserable life in her married life that she allowed her mother to maneuver her life.

Kimmy put down the teacup in her hand and turned to her mother. She suddenly leaned and hugged her mother tightly. She never said no to her mother, so when she refused the arranged marriage, her mother probably thought she was not that serious since her mother always dictated things over to her. Everything was her fault too. She was also responsible for why her mother was like that to her before.

"I'm sorry, mom. I'm a mean daughter," Kimmy whispered as tears rolled down her cheeks.

Leila sniffed because she, too, was crying while she kissed the head of her daughter lovingly and stroked her back.

"It's alright, Kimmy. I'm just grateful that you are safe and sound while you are away. Now you're back… I'm more than grateful, Kimmy. Oh, my daughter, if you only knew how I've been so worried and praying every day for your safety. I wonder if you're eating properly or staying in a nice place." Leila confessed.

"I'm sorry, mom. I was wrong too for running like that. It's so selfish of me, thinking only of my feelings and not bothering how others will get hurt because of that rash decision," Kimmy said.

"It's alright, Kimmy. What is important now is that you're back here with us. Thank you for coming back to us. Ah, I missed you so much!" Leila cried, hugging her daughter tightly.

"Urgh… Mom, it's hard to breathe," Kimmy complained, making Leila burst into laughter. She was feeling so blissful that she and Kimmy had this time alone together.

Leila released Kimmy. She looked at her daughter's face and gently wiped the tears on her cheek. Kimmy did the same to her mother.

"Such a crybaby!" Leila teased, and Kimmy only answered her with a pout.

"I happened to overhear your conversation on the phone with Harry and then Cain. I can't help but be curious, but it's okay if you are uncomfortable telling me…." Leila commented as she sat properly and poured herself some tea on the cup.

Kimmy narrowed her eyes towards her mother, giving her a suspicious look before ginning and said, "I'm sure you won't sleep for days thinking about it. You're like that mom when you're curious. I will tell you to save you from deprived sleep and eyebags."

She exhaled loudly and continued, "Harry is the man I chased while I was in country D. I mean, I liked him so much, so I practically did everything for him to notice me. I pursued him in short, but he turned me down for good. He is also the reason why I decided to leave country D."

Leila's face soured as she barked, "How dare that man turn down my daughter! He just lost someone precious more than his life!!!"

Kimmy laughed, watching how her mother was cursing Harry for turning her down.

"And I assume he wants to keep in touch since he is calling you?" Leila asked.

Kimmy gulped and, with an awkward smile, said, "he is here, mom. Staying at the Zantium Hotel, and he wants to meet me."

Leila's eyebrows lifted. She was about to say 'No,' but she controlled herself and asked instead, "and what do you want, Kimmy? Do you want to see him?"

She wondered if her daughter was having split feelings for two men since she heard it could be possible. Leila was sure only one would weigh more between two men.

Kimmy bit her lips and said, "I don't know, mom. I mean… I feel like… Uhm."

"You can answer it with yes or no, Kimmy. Gosh, do you know why I often decide things for you? It's because of your indecisiveness that I got used to deciding everything when it comes to you. More often than not, you can't choose what you want and will tell me to choose, and it's up to me then it will be fine with you. So I thought that arranged marriage with Cain would be fine with you knowing I chose a good man in and out."

Kimmy gulped and then said, "I want to see Harry too. I want to assess my feelings for him if…"

She could not continue what to say.

"Then why are you hesitating? Are you in a relationship right now?" Leila naively asked.

Kimmy shook her head.

'OMG! She and Cain are not in a relationship? So why are the two of them kissing often!' Leila grunted inwardly. She could not believe that her daughter would enter some aggressive or open relationship without a commitment!

Leila tried to keep her calm. She trusted Cain, so maybe there was something more going on. There could be some valid explanation on why Kimmy and Cain were kissing. Leila suddenly felt dizzy thinking about it.

"I'm not in a relationship, mom," Kimmy answered.

"Oh… I see. I thought you and Cain were getting along well, but I guess I'm wrong. Anyway, if you want, you can bring me when you meet that Harry," Leila suggested with a grin, wondering if her daughter would allow her to meet that Harry.

"No, mom! Do you want to become the third wheel?!" Kimmy burst in disbelief. Leila laughed and said, "Fine. I'll just wait for you to tell me what happened, but I'm curious, who is more husband? Cain or Harry? I can't help but be biased. I'm still rooting for Cain. Then again, it's your life, Kimmy, so whoever you choose in the end, I will support you and back you up."

Kimmy opened her mobile phone and searched for Kenzie's social media account. Kenzie liked taking selfies, and in some of her posts with family, Harry is in the picture.

"I will show you his picture," Kimmy whispered while Leila peaked on the screen while her daughter was searching for photos.

"Kenzie Cha? She's the one you worked with?" Leila asked.

"Yup, and she treated me like a sister mom. Oh, I will tell you more about her later!" Kenzie excitedly burst.

'Kenzie Cha, so the man is Harry Cha?' Leila mused, wondering if she should ask someone to check on Harry so she could find out more about that man without Kimmy knowing. She could not help it since she was still a mother who wanted to look after her daughter. Was it too bad if she wanted to learn more about Harry?

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