Marvel: I have a serious mental illness

Half an hour later.

Zhou Ran finally had enough rest. He stretched hard, sat up straight, opened the drawer, and took out a black notebook.

I picked up the ballpoint pen on the table and started writing.

This is a habit that Zhou Ran has developed over the years. Before taking action, he must first make a detailed plan.

List all the problems you may encounter during the operation, and then answer them one by one.

Although this process is laborious and troublesome, the results are surprisingly good.

The previous planning was for Stark Industries, but today's planning is different, it is for himself.

In order to redeem himself, in order to complete the mission assigned by Clark.

Zhou Ran frowned, closed his eyes, and began to recall the innocent lives that died at the hands of the clown.

Every time he thought of a tragedy, he would record it.

April 1, 2000, evening, 11 o'clock.

Hell's Kitchen, the abandoned Garfic Screw Processing Factory, the entire Dingo Gang, and the death toll is about 200.

April 27, 2000, early morning, 3 o'clock.

Manhattan, a drunk black man in the bathroom of a Broadway theater.

May 8, 2000, evening, 10 o'clock.

Queens, Blake Street, back alley of Jaylis Bar, two homeless people.

…

March 1, 2001, evening, 10 o'clock.

A bomb was dropped at a shopping mall in Madison Square Garden, Manhattan, killing an unknown number of people.

May 7, 2001, evening, 9 o'clock.

Manhattan, New York University artificial lake, a couple in love.

June 3, 2001, evening, 10 o'clock.

Brooklyn, 231 England Street, a sleeping family of three.

…

July 15, 2008, evening, 11 o'clock.

Hell's Kitchen, the whole regiment of the Wild Boars, the death toll is about 300.

August 6, 2008, evening, 11:39.

Hell's Kitchen, in the back alley of Osborne Industrial's abandoned chemical factory, under the dim streetlight, Arthur.

It took Zhou Ran a full two hours to record the tragedy caused by the clown.

The total number of deaths is 1980!

Looking at the shocking numbers, Zhou Ran couldn't help but take a deep breath. The clown actually used his body to kill so many people.

From April 2000 to August 2008, there are a total of 100 months and 3,000 days.

In total, clowns kill an average of 19.8 people per month and 0.66 people per day.

Looking at these numbers, Zhou Ran also gained a deeper understanding of the clown living in his body.

The Joker, Batman's lifelong enemy, and the true emperor of Gotham.

Just by occasionally controlling his body at night, the clown killed so many people.

Zhou Ran couldn't imagine what a real clown would look like?

How many people does the Joker, who is on full display in Gotham, kill every day just for playing games?

What kind of number would that be?

I'm afraid it only takes one day for the clown to surpass the current number.

Zhou Ran shook his head and got rid of these messy thoughts.

He slowly lay down on the chair, slowly closed his eyes, and tapped his fingers on the smooth table top again and again, as if he was playing a beautiful piece of music.

This is Zhou Ran's consistent attitude when thinking deeply.

He was thinking about why the clown wanted to kill people?

Although the Joker is an unscrupulous and deviant lunatic, he is definitely not a perverted murderer.

The clown must have his own meaning in doing things.

Just like in Gotham, everything the Joker does is to prove that Batman is the same type of person as him. Batman is also a madman and a paranoid.

All the evil things the Joker does are to force Batman to kill him. When Batman starts killing people, he will become crazier than the Joker.

Thinking of this, Zhou Ran frowned slightly.

This Batman's experience is so similar to mine!

The clown takes control of his body to kill people, and does those bad things and bad things, isn't it just to force himself to kill him?

Clear away the clouds and mist to see the sky, keep the clouds clear and see the bright moon.

Zhou Ran's thoughts were straightened out at this moment, and he felt like he suddenly realized something.

He opened his eyes suddenly, picked up the pen on the table, and started writing in a black notebook.

Five minutes later, Zhou Ran stopped the pen in his hand, pushed up his glasses, sighed, and said with a smile: "According to medical data, each personality of patients with multiple personality schizophrenia has its own independent identity.

, independent memory and independent thinking.”

"Although your name is Joker, you are not the real Joker in Gotham."

"Since you are an extension of my mind, one thing is absolutely unavoidable, that is, there must be some small similarities between the two of us."

"Joker, I guess you must be thinking so..."

The black notebook is filled with scrawled Chinese characters, like ghostly symbols.

"My name is Joker and I'm from Gotham."

"Gotham is a very good place, with simple folk customs and outstanding people..."

"I like Gotham very much, but what I like more than Gotham is the black bat flying in the sky at night, a fool who always likes games like Player's House Wine..."

"Every time I come into contact with Batman, I can feel an indescribable joy. That kind of joy makes my soul burn wildly and makes me even crazier!"

"I like the smell of Batman's blood, because it is the smell of fear... Hee hee hee... He is afraid of himself, he is afraid of the other self in his heart..."

"That Batman is neither righteous nor kind, he is extremely evil, extremely crazy... That's the taste of the same kind."

"Batman and I are the same. I chose to embrace myself, but he chose to reject himself..."

"Tsk, tsk, tsk, Batman...I'll let you release another one of yours."

"I'm extremely looking forward to that day... I made a lot of detailed plans, and finally let Batman release himself, release the evil in his heart, and he became the Laughing Bat."

"...I don't know why, even though I was dead, I came back to life...I came to an extremely strange place. This is not Gotham..."

"Oh shit, why the hell isn't this Gotham?"

"Oh, it turns out that today is April Fool's Day, I must not have woken up yet... April Fool's Day, I hate April Fool's Day, because clowns don't need April Fool's Day."

"Damn it, I've obviously killed so many people, why the hell haven't I woke up from this dream? This body is not mine, it looks different from me... This is really strange, this is something I can't do yet

Things to understand…”

"Forget it, since we can't wake up, we can only turn this place into Gotham!"

"It's a pity that there is no Batman here... I need a Batman, or I need a myself."

"..."

"..."

"The longer time passes, the more clearly I understand myself. I know that I am actually a split personality, and there is an extremely powerful master personality above me."

"He can subtly influence my thinking and change me. I don't have complete control over this body, and I can't turn this place into Gotham..."

"I'm not actually a clown, no, I am a clown..."

"I'm a little tired. This is like a false world to me... there is no Gotham, no Batman..."

"During that time, I wasn't doing any activities and I was wondering what was my point?"

"I began to pay attention to the main personality, that is, the various behaviors of God... I can feel all his malice, I can feel his thinking... It turns out that not only is this world false, but Gotham is also false...

…”

"Even I am false..."

"Such a false world should be destroyed... Only the master personality can do this kind of thing, so I need to dedicate all of myself to him, including my strength and my thoughts."

"I started to continue doing all kinds of bad things... so that when he sees me, he will definitely kill me..."

"Just like I released Batman, I will also release God..."

"But I seemed to have made a mistake in my judgment. He did not kill me. What I did did not have the slightest lethality to him... He was more evil and terrifying than I imagined..."

"He is indifferent to everything in this world... However, I will keep waiting until he has feelings..."

The content on the black notebook stopped abruptly.

Zhou Ran took two deep breaths, tore off this very messy page, crumpled it into a ball, stuffed it into his mouth, and ate it in big gulps.

In this world with many black technologies, Zhou Ran trusts his digestive system more than burning it to ashes.

Zhou Ran turned his head and looked out the window at the clean, clear blue sky and the bright sun.

A smile appeared at the corner of his mouth, he stretched out his hand to push up his glasses, and said in a low voice: "Joker, look, this world is still very real. There are blue skies, sun, flowers, grass, birds, people..."

"This is not Gotham, and it will never become Gotham. Although you have always lived in Gotham before, people always have to move forward. You cannot blindly miss the past. You need to learn to accept a new life."

"Well, there is no Batman here, which is a bit difficult... People like Bruce Wayne are so rare. There are so many humans, but there is only one master."

"But Gotham is still easy to emerge. When I become the mayor of New York, I can change New York City into Gotham City."

"Gotham City has simple folk customs and Arkham is a place of outstanding people. I also built an Arkham Asylum, which is for super criminals...it is indeed a place of outstanding people..."

"Joker, I once had the same feeling as you. I felt that the world was terrible and I couldn't be happy at all..."

"But looking at it now, it seems pretty good..."

"I am slowly getting used to this world, and you should also learn to get used to this world."

"..."

"..."

Zhou Ran didn't know if the clown could hear him, so he kept talking intermittently, wherever he thought, and whatever he thought of.

This was the first time that he talked so much, and the first time that he spoke his true feelings slowly.

In the eyes of others, clowns are scary, crazy, evil and chaotic existences. When he saw the clown for the first time last night, Zhou Ran was also influenced by this subjective impression and was still very resistant to clowns.

But now that I think about it, aside from being a little crazy and a little paranoid, the Joker is actually pretty good.

In fact, isn’t everyone a clown in real life?

There can be no person who has never been treated as a clown.

There's a clown living in everyone's heart, isn't there?

It is inaccurate to say that the clown is evil, and it is also inaccurate to say that the clown is good. The clown is chaotic and crazy.

It is a big problem for a madman to distinguish between good and evil. The madman has his own way of thinking. There is no good or evil in his eyes, and he does not care about public opinions.

A madman is very simple. He doesn't know good or evil, but he knows what he likes and what he hates.

Just like a child, you have to get the things you like and smash the things you hate.

This is the source of the madman's happiness, and also the source of the clown's happiness.

The Joker both likes Batman and hates Batman... He often feels that seeing Batman is like looking into a mirror.

When people look in the mirror, sometimes they think the person in the mirror is really good-looking and like it, and sometimes they think the person in the mirror is really ugly and disgusting.

Zhou Ran knew how bad a world without Batman would be for the Joker...

He is willing to give the clown maximum tolerance.

There is a reason for this.

This account is a good deal.

First of all, a superhero with a full sense of justice will always be limited by the word justice.

Joker can make up for this shortcoming.

One white and one black, everything has two sides.

Things that good people cannot solve, bad people can solve.

Secondly, if he can behave like tolerating the clown, presumably there will be people who can tolerate him too.

If he doesn't tolerate clowns, then maybe no one will tolerate him who eventually becomes a clown.

Of course this is the worst case scenario.

In the end, Zhou Ran was a little unsure. He felt that he was very similar to the clown and he was probably a madman.

No, it's not possible, but he is a madman, and the existence of the clown can satisfy his madness.

If the clown is lost, he will be the one who goes crazy...

Zhou Ran himself wasn't very sure about this last one.

But he still has arguments to prove this.

From a biological perspective, the split personalities of patients with multiple personality disorder all have their own unique functions, and they use their own ways to protect the body from harm.

These split personalities are bearing all kinds of pain for the main personality. The more normal the behavior of the main personality is, the more painful the split personality will be.

What pain does the clown bear?

After Zhou Ran thought about it, he felt that the pain the clown had to bear should be due to madness.

Regardless of evil, darkness, or fear, none of these words are more suitable for the clown than the word crazy.

He looks normal because the clown is going crazy on his behalf.

This answer is very reasonable, very rigorous and very logical.

"Huh..." Zhou Ran took a deep breath, smiled and sighed: "Tsk, tsk, tsk, I never thought that I would be a madman."

"Joker, since you have borne the madness for me that I can't bear, then I will atone for your sins..."