Master Craftsman of the Pokemon World

#156 - Mewtwo's psychological trauma

Clear Cliff, a place filled with Mewtwo's memories. A year and a half ago, Team Rocket somehow discovered its hiding place, attempting to seize control of its power once more, and desperately dispatched a large number of personnel and forces.

However, with the assistance of several young boys and girls, as well as a strange trio, Team Rocket's plan ultimately failed again, and it erased their memories of this history.

Afterward, Mewtwo sent the 'copied Pokémon' that lived there, following its life, to various corners of this land.

Although they were copies, they possessed genuine life, so they embarked on a journey, choosing a path of free living.

Later, Mewtwo itself also embarked on a journey, seeking the answer to what it means to be alive.

It had been to Cerulean City's cave, left traces in the big city, traveled many distant places, witnessed myths and legends, fought powerful humans, and even encountered bizarre space-time caves. After experiencing so many things, it has now returned to Clear Cliff.

The underground space of Clear Cliff is still so vast, Mirror Lake glistens, moss covers the rock walls, but the former Pokémon are no longer here.

This, is what is called loneliness, perhaps.

Recalling what happened, Mewtwo felt doubt, and, regrettably,

it didn't see 'Giovanni' at the time.

If Giovanni had been among the Team Rocket members attacking Clear Cliff, then it could have erased his memory as well, preventing him from ever remembering its existence again.

While traveling, Mewtwo also learned why Giovanni hadn't appeared at Clear Cliff back then.

Along with Giovanni, the so-called Team Rocket executives seemed to have been defeated by some young boys and girls. However, Team Rocket's actions had merely shifted from the surface to the shadows. Giovanni seemed to be remotely controlling Team Rocket's operations, but he himself no longer seemed to be at Team Rocket headquarters.

That guy, in pursuit of true power, had re-embarked on a journey, even leaving a message in Team Rocket:

'...Let's get this straight. No matter how strong someone is, they can still be defeated. If you don't acknowledge defeat, you can't move forward. To create a stronger organization, I'm now setting off alone. I will revive Team Rocket one day.'

Thinking of this, Mewtwo felt some strange feelings arise in its heart.

That man who regarded Pokémon as power and had no love in his heart would actually have a day to start learning from scratch. When he was defeated by a young boy, it seemed that even his pride was shattered along with him.

Mewtwo took out a Pokémon device. It had learned to use this machine while traveling in human cities, and through a unique illusion, it had forged an identity, obtaining the right to use this machine. And it just so happened that human society was in a period of rapid development, and for Mewtwo, the internet was really quite convenient once it had mastered its usage.

"Thank you for your item, Calyrex's doll is very effective."

Just holding this doll was like forgetting all worries, indulging in a sense of peace, and the wounds in its heart were healed, even echoing some things that Mewtwo itself hadn't noticed.

So, the world is so vivid?

Having personally experienced many things, embarking on a journey and returning to its 'hometown,' there was still an lingering shadow in its heart, but now, those shadows were dissipating, like winter snow meeting the warm sun of early spring, ice and snow melting, turning into streams, nurturing vibrant life.

Flowers, trees, sky, breeze, clouds, sun, rainbow, ocean, forest, sand, earth—to experience, to feel, to think, and finally...to return to peace, yet to gain enlightenment in the ordinary!

Mewtwo mentioned @Glowmoss in the group, replying with such a sentence, pondered for a while, and then ran to the purchase page of the shop and posted the same reply.

In human society, many shops would hire people to do this. After receiving 'good reviews' from customers, it could attract more customers, which is a virtuous cycle for the shop's business.

Well, in order to express support for someone, you can also vigorously purchase their products. Of course, Mewtwo, through precognition, knew that the workshop's props were genuine and possessed great power. Unfortunately, there are very few items related to psychic attributes right now.

However, it didn't need those power-enhancing items, because its power, even if it wasn't the most powerful in the world, was among the best.

Power isn't everything, it had understood this during its journey a year ago.

Now, it only wanted to seek a place for a peaceful life—yes, a corner of the world that no one could find, just like where that craftsman lived.

Mewtwo unconsciously entered a meditative state.

With a quiet mind, it recalled more things from the past, and some flickering fragments made Mewtwo's brow furrow slightly.

A little girl, and some Pokémon.

Mewtwo felt something dripping down its face. Confused, it reached out to touch it, and found that it was actually its own tears.

Does it have such a thing as tears?

What was that feeling just now, what were those memories, vague fragments, had it experienced those things before?

"Tears...when a creature's body feels pain, tears will flow. Only humans cry because of sadness..."

Strange memories surged in, memories of the most peaceful and innocent era of its heart, but Mewtwo itself felt very unfamiliar, a sense of fatigue swept over it, Mewtwo hesitated, opened the private chat interface with Glowmoss:

"I want to make some changes to what I just posted...Calyrex's doll reminded me of some strange memories, is this normal? It seems like memories from shortly after I was born, is that the psychological barrier hidden deepest in my heart?"

Before long, Mewtwo received a reply:

[Can you be more specific? Although I'm not a psychologist, I need to know the exact symptoms to give you guidance. Although this isn't my job, it's because you're also my customer.]

[Since my product caused you to have such problems, of course I'll help you.]

Mewtwo was silent. It pondered for a while, disguised its identity, it was an identity it often used in human society, and slightly modified the memory content it had just recalled, perfectly integrating it into the 'forged identity's' past.

[I see, you had a girl and three Pokémon as playmates in your childhood, but you only remembered this memory after getting Calyrex's doll. After your memory recovered, those Pokémon and that girl all left without saying goodbye, right?]

Mewtwo: "That's right...And, I also remembered, her name."

"Ai. Yes, she was Ai."

Although the name in the memory was actually "Ai 2", Mewtwo recalled, knowing that the girl was not a real "human"! So the code name 2 could not be said.

Who is she, what exactly is she?

Why did such an impulse surge in its heart, wanting to see her again?

[...]

"What's wrong?"

[No, it's nothing. Childhood traumas are often covered up by reality, but they don't disappear, but take root in the deepest part of the heart and become hidden pain. You know, forgetting is actually a self-protection mechanism of the human heart, and it's one of the important ways to maintain mental health.]

[It's a psychological defense mechanism that helps us get out of negative emotions. After all, forgetting those unpleasant or even painful experiences can reduce our psychological stress and help maintain emotional stability.]

[Traumatic experiences can also lead to avoidance behavior, that is, consciously avoiding situations that may trigger traumatic memories. This avoidance behavior may manifest as unwillingness to enter certain places, unwillingness to contact certain people, or even avoiding participating in discussions related to certain topics...I remember you said in the group before that you don't want to talk to other psychics unless it's necessary, right? This is also a kind of avoidance.]

[However, you shouldn't be simply avoiding psychics. It would be reasonable to say that you're avoiding their '窥探', but now it seems that you're avoiding 'humans', or 'strangers'.]

Mewtwo was silent.

A word awakened the dreamer, it carefully considered at this time, and found that it was really like this.

Although it had also experienced many things, traveled to many places, and seen more humans, even when using a disguised identity, Mewtwo would still deliberately avoid the noisy crowds, and also avoid contacting humans too much, this was not only because it was afraid of its own identity being exposed, but also because...it really had a sense of alienation towards humans.

If it really had to say an human it recognized, then, it would only be that boy named Ash.

"So, the best way is to forget these memories again, right? But the urge in my heart to see her can't be suppressed..."

But I know, that girl no longer exists. Mewtwo muttered.

[Forgetting is of course the best psychological protection mechanism, as long as you give up the past, you can face a new future, but, I think you should have understood the 'meaning of life', right?]

Mewtwo suddenly became alert!

The meaning of life, who am I, this was a question that Mewtwo often had on its lips and kept thinking about in its heart, but after seeing that boy named Ash, this question had already been answered.

—「At least, it means I'm a creature that can live on this planet」.

However, after it erased the memories of a large number of Team Rocket members, the only people who still knew the question it had once pondered were those young boys and girls who had helped it, and Giovanni!

"Who are you?"

[Huh?]

Seeing the shop owner's bewildered answer, Mewtwo was also stunned for a moment, then patted its head.

It seemed that it was overthinking it.

That's right, the shop owner is a human with magical powers, although it seems that he can't foresee the future, but perhaps the 'meaning of life' is actually a broad philosophical proposition, which should also be frequently mentioned in psychology, right? It doesn't have much research on psychology.

[...Although I don't know why you suddenly asked that just now, it seems that my words have touched the deepest part of your heart. Well, I'll assume that you understand the meaning of life, anyway, what I want to say is that once a person finds the meaning of life, then he will not only feel happy, but also have the strong ability to cope with various hardships, and can still remain optimistic in the face of tragic factors such as great pain, guilt, and death.]

[There is only one true heroism in the world, and that is to love life after seeing the truth of life. This is what a human said.]

In an instant, Mewtwo felt a ray of light shine into its heart!

It was not caused by the power of Calyrex's doll, but the power felt from the words, a powerful spirit seemed to be transmitted from the distant other side of the earth to its will, and deeply affecting it!

Yes, no matter what the past was, since it is in the present, it means that the past is over.

However, after recognizing the truth of reality...for some reason, it feels a little unwilling?

The girl's voice, what she once said to it, also came to mind.

"It will be very interesting to live on"

That's what the girl who called herself Ai 2 said.

[So, after saying so much, I want to give you some props, I hope you will cheer up after using them.]

[There are three ways to overcome childhood trauma, the first is to forget, escape is shameful but useful. And the second is to face it, step over it, and then, defeat it.]

[And the third, do you want to see her again? As long as you see her again, all the problems will be solved, right? Although I don't guarantee that this will succeed, but...I want to give you a gift.]

Mewtwo's hands clenched tightly, its breathing was slightly stagnant.

Legendary craftsman.

Please...help me!

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