Maybe a Fake Gintama

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One morning, Dengshi Bistro.

"Here we come."

After yelling casually, Jiang Cheng pushed open the door of Dengshi Tavern and stepped in. Behind Jiang Cheng was Yue Yong, who was holding a cigarette stick with a cold expression.

"It's really troublesome..."

Jiang Cheng scratched his hair a little irritably, then looked at Granny Dengshi at the counter and the trio of Wanshiwu sitting in front of the counter with drooping eyelids.

"What's the trouble? Come on, I'll pretend to hear it and go back to catch up on sleep."

"I thought it was a troublesome thing from the beginning, kid," Dengshi's mother-in-law complained with contempt, and then showed a look of ridicule, and said, "He is really a ruthless man~ Xiaoyu really has a bad eye for men~"

"Goodbye." After saying that, Jiang Cheng turned around and walked towards the door.

"Listen to me! You heartless man!" Dengshi's mother-in-law shouted, spitting, "Why can you just leave like nothing happened! At least ask the question clearly first!"

Jiang Cheng stopped in his tracks, let out a long sigh, then turned his head around again, and said impatiently, "Baba, it's just a little bit more or less. If you always say that you don't have any nutrition at all, you will get osteoporosis. I mean your head (implying brain damage)."

"So that's how it is," Kagura clasped her hands with a slightly dignified face, and analyzed with a serious expression on her face: "The reason why you are prone to osteoporosis when you get older is that Aru, but if it is really like this..."

As he said that, Kagura looked at Gintoki with a worried expression on his face, "Gin-chan, when you get old, your head will become naturally curly and unmotivated!"

"Kagura-chan," Shin Hachi pushed his glasses and reminded with a blank expression: "Yin-sang's head is already a natural curl with no motivation, because he said too many unnutritious words, it has already become a natural curl in advance."

"Hey, do you want to die?" Yinshi narrowed his eyes, turned his face to look at Xin Baji, and then retorted: "My natural curly hair has nothing to do with the natural curly hair caused by osteoporosis. I take in calcium every day!"

As he spoke, Yinshi took out a box of strawberry milk from his bosom and put it in front of Grandma Dengshi, and continued, "Use it as rent. If you supplement calcium properly, you won't get osteoporosis so early. I mean your head."

After hearing this, Dengshi's mother-in-law's face burst into several blue veins, and she cursed angrily with white eyes: "You are the only ones in the world whose brains will get osteoporosis! And it's just an empty box after drinking it! Bastard!!"

"Look, there's nothing wrong at all." Jiang Cheng turned his head to look at Yue Yong, spread his hands and said lazily, "Let's go back."

"It's a very tricky thing." Granny Dengshi glanced at Jiang Cheng who was standing at the door, lit a cigarette and took a puff, then said calmly, "It's about the little..."

Before Dengshi could finish speaking, Jiang Cheng jumped over Yueyong and rushed out the door in an instant.

"Wait." Yue Yong quickly reached out and grabbed Jiang Cheng's back collar.

"Hey! Don't be kidding!" Jiang Cheng turned his head and whispered madly, "You should have heard it, right? What is said to be difficult must be troublesome! At this time, just go back obediently and pretend not to know! If you pretend not to know, you will be happy! Just like a wife who finds out that her husband is cheating, as long as she pretends not to know, the couple will still be as loving as usual!"

"No, I just want to say that it's better to pull out the kunai in your head as soon as possible." Yue Yong pointed to the back of Jiang Cheng's head and reminded, "But if you think it's happier to pretend not to know, you can also choose to pretend not to know."

"Huh?" Jiang Cheng touched the back of his head expressionlessly, and after touching a certain metal object, he pulled it out and held it in his hand for a look.

"When did this stick on..." After a long silence,

Jiang Cheng squinted his peas and said expressionlessly, and then followed the sound of "哧——" bleeding out, Jiang Cheng rolled his eyes and fell directly on his back.

But the angle of the fall was a bit clever, Jiang Cheng's head was directly buried in Yue Yong's chest.

The surrounding air froze instantly...

Feeling a strange sensation in her chest, Yue Yong's face quickly turned red at a speed visible to the naked eye, and her eyes turned into mosquito-repellent coils and kept spinning.

"You... what are you doing?!" While shouting, Yue Yong directly picked up Jiang Chengcheng who was still in a coma, which was a standard back fall.

boom! ! !

Xin Baji, whose face was full of black lines, looked at Jiang Cheng whose head was still twitching from time to time under the wooden floor, and was silent for a while, before opening his mouth twitching expressionlessly to remind him.

"Miss Yueyong, although it's a bit redundant for me to say this, it's obvious that Jiang Chengsang didn't do it on purpose just now. He's going to die. He squirted so much blood in the first place, so Jiang Chengsang will definitely die now."

"It seems that a wife who finds out that her husband is cheating doesn't intend to pretend that she doesn't know anything." Dengshi's mother-in-law lightly exhaled a puff of smoke and said with a chuckle.

"Please stop now," Xin Baji complained blankly, "Please don't say such things that will misunderstand readers."

"Hey, are you alright, Alu?" Kagura came to Jiang Cheng's side, knelt down and poked Jiang Cheng with his hand, then turned his head to look at Yin Shi and the others and continued, "It's all right, still alive."

"That's not the problem!" Xin Baji complained frantically.

"By the way," Kagura suddenly thought of something, and then reached into Jiang Cheng's arms to feel for it. About three seconds later, Kagura's face brightened, "I found Alu!"

After all, Kagura took out Jiang Cheng's wallet, and without the slightest hesitation, took out the few tens of thousands of yuan left in it, not even letting go of the change.

But before Kagura stuffed the money into his pocket, Gintoki at the side had already walked over and snatched the money from Kagura's hand. After counting, he found out 2,000 yuan and handed it to Kagura.

"Two thousand yuan is enough!" After putting the remaining money into his wallet, Gintoki said seriously, "In Edo, minors are not allowed to carry more than two thousand yuan with them! Let me keep the rest!"

"Don't be kidding! I've never heard of such a rule, Aru!" Saying that, Kagura flung herself at Gintoki with all her teeth and claws.

Ignoring Kagura and Yinshi who were making a fuss, Yueyong silently pulled Jiang Cheng out of the floor, who was still in a coma, then dragged Jiang Cheng's legs and walked towards the counter step by step.

"What's the matter?" Yue Yong stopped, looked sideways at Deng Shi's mother-in-law who was still smoking, and asked faintly.

"You really are a magnanimous [wife]~" Granny Dengshi chuckled, and then showed a serious face, "Then...let me tell you."

"Don't say silly things, I just want to finish it quickly and go back." Yue Yong said lightly.

"It's up to you, actually, the thing is..."

...

When Jiang Cheng woke up from the coma, he realized that only himself, Yue Yong, and Granny Dengshi were left in the entire Dengshi Tavern.

"Where are Kagura-chan and Yinshi?" Jiang Cheng got up from the ground and sat on the seat in front of the counter, looking at Yueyong beside him and asked suspiciously.

"Let's go to the barbecue." Yue Yong replied lightly.

"Barbecue?" Jiang Cheng looked at Yue Yong suspiciously, then waved his hands with disapproval on his face and said, "Impossible, Kagura complained to me yesterday that he had received the commission for several months."

"It's your money..."

After hearing this, the expression on Jiang Cheng's face froze instantly, and then he rummaged through his body to find his wallet.

When he saw that there was only a small ten-yuan coin left in his wallet, Jiang Cheng knelt down on the floor, beat the floor and shouted in grief: "That...that is the money I am going to buy for a new game! That bastard!!"

"That kind of thing doesn't matter, let's talk about the serious stuff first." Dengshi folded his hands and put on a serious face, "I've already told Ms. Yueyong the specific situation."

"Well, it does seem like a very tricky situation..." Jiang Cheng stood up and folded his chest with one hand, and lightly squeezed his chin with the other hand, his expression became slightly solemn.

"Did you skip something? I haven't told you anything yet..." Deng Shi complained a little speechlessly.

"No, I can see it from the expressions of the two of you." Jiang Cheng shook his head slowly, then sighed and started to walk slowly towards the door.

But when he reached the door, Jiang Cheng didn't forget to stop and turn his head to give Yue Yong a thumbs up, winked his eyes and said, "Come on!"

"Come on, you're big! Do you still want to slip away in the end?!" Dengshi's mother-in-law shouted while pulling her neck.

At the same time, with the sound of "swoosh," several kunai shot straight at Jiang Cheng's forehead.

...

"So what exactly is it?" Jiang Cheng, who sat down again, said impatiently while pulling the kunai from his forehead.

"It's Xiaoyu..." Granny Dengshi took a puff of a cigarette, and then continued, "Her appearance has become a little strange recently."

"Strange? That kind of strange?" Jiang Cheng asked suspiciously, "Is it puberty? But it's useless for you to tell me about this kind of thing? It should be Okasang's responsibility to talk to his daughter who has entered puberty."

"It's not that kind of thing anymore!" Granny Dengshi scolded with white eyes, "Can you listen to people?! I mean her face has become very strange!"

"The face has become weird?" Jiang Cheng waved his hands and continued disapprovingly, "No, I think you may not understand what the word strange really means. Please look at your face in the mirror after getting up every day. You will see the strangest scene in the world. It is not an exaggeration to call it the ninth wonder of the world."

(PS: In fact, only the seven wonders of the world are recognized internationally. The Terracotta Army is one of the eight wonders of the world that we think can be called one of the eight wonders of the world. But in my personal opinion, it is fully qualified to be called one of the eight wonders of the world.)

Before Jiang Cheng finished speaking, Granny Dengshi poured a glass of wine on his head.

"Your idiot head is enough to be called the only miracle in the world." Granny Dengshi said contemptuously, "In short, Xiaoyu's face has become like a fighting game a long time ago, angular..."

"Sorry, I never liked fighting games." Jiang Cheng raised his hand and replied, "I haven't liked fighting games since I was a child."

"No one asked you if you liked it!"

"That should be called a polygon..." Yue Yong said lightly.

"Hey?! Why do you know?!" Jiang Cheng said in surprise, "Since when have you ever played fighting games?!"

"Ah, recently I sometimes play games with Qingta." Yue Yong nodded lightly.

"That stinky brat!" Jiang Cheng gritted his teeth and yelled in a low voice, "Didn't you tell him that you can only play FPS games? After you go back, throw away all the games he hid! You can't become an outstanding adult by playing that kind of thing!"

"You can't be called an outstanding adult at all." Yue Yong complained mercilessly.

"That's right, that's right, the face has become angular and polygonal." Grandma Dengshi clasped her hands and nodded, then continued to herself: "The child must be overworked and tired, so, you heartless man, can you help me see if there is something wrong with her?"

"Before that, let the doctor check if there is any malfunction in your head, right?" Jiang Cheng waved his hands and replied disapprovingly, then took out his mobile phone from his pocket, and pressed the number of the emergency center without the slightest hesitation.

"Moshi Moshi, Kabukicho Takashi Tavern, ah, it's serious, according to my observations, it has reached the most serious type of dementia, hey, hey, not only hallucinations, but also nonsense and scary heavy makeup on his face... Wow!"

Before Jiang Cheng could finish speaking, Deng Shi threw a punch at Jiang Cheng with his eyes popping out of his veins, and knocked Jiang Cheng flying.

"Bastard! Can you listen to me!"

"Sorry, the doctor said that in this case, just wait for death at home." Jiang Cheng struggled to get up, covered his nose with a look of unbearable expression, and continued: "If you have something you like to eat, eat more. The doctor said that time is running out..."

"Why do you say that I am going to die!"

"Because the doctor said that when Alzheimer's suffers hallucinations, he will not be far from ascending to heaven." Jiang Cheng explained, "If you add heavy makeup all the time, you can basically only live for about three days."

As he said that, Jiang Cheng looked at Yue Yong, "Yueyue, I'm going back, just come back in three days with the funeral expenses."

"Kill you! Brat!" Grandma Dengshi roared with white eyes, saliva flying all over the place.

At this moment, the door of the tavern was suddenly opened, and Xiaoyu's voice sounded at the door.

"I'm back."

"You're back, running errands is hard..." Granny Dengshi replied subconsciously, looking at the door at the same time, but the cigarette in her mouth dropped instantly after seeing Xiaoyu.

At the same time, Jiang Cheng and Yue Yong also half-opened their mouths, their heads were full of black lines, and the corners of their eyes twitched as they watched [Xiaoyu] who appeared at the door and who somehow turned into a pixel image in the game and kept walking in place.

【Ah, Master Jiang Cheng, good morning. 】

Looking at the black dialog box that appeared in front of Xiaoyu, Jiang Cheng twitched his eyes and complained: "Don't say it's a polygon, it's already turned into a pixel map..."

[Xiaoyu completed the errand task, gained 230 experience points, and lost 300 money. 】

"Speaking of which, why did it become FC style..." Jiang Cheng complained with black lines all over his head.

...

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