MEMORIZE

A long time ago...How long has it been?

To tell you the truth, I wasn't a very good user at first. Regardless of their poor skills and user information, their mental awakening as users has been considerably delayed. Far from actively seeking to survive, I could not even think of confronting the world of Hallplane because I was afraid and tired. He became an endless loner, shivering like a coward, locked up in the city. Ironically, however, I had to go out into the world one day to survive.

I didn't have the courage to go out thinking, "Okay, let's give it a try." My first step into the world, funnyly, was to be hungry and almost pushed out. Still, the beginner's luck was followed, and the first step he managed to take was a slight success. I still can't forget the taste of meat that I bought with the money I got for the first time.

But it wasn't always as successful. No. As if to laugh at a zero-year-old user who knows nothing, the reality that he had to go through afterwards was extremely cold.

You went out with us on your first expedition?’

'I knew it, but there seemed to be a good chance of growth. If you don't mind, let's go on our next expedition together.’

On my second expedition, I was playing the bait without even realizing it. When I managed to escape through fate, the woman who was the leader of the caravan frowned at me, who barely came back alive. And even throwing a little bit of money as if you're being kind. Then I had to turn around with money without being able to say anything foolishly. I just crouched in the corner of a homeless place in the city and shed a tear in frustration.

In retrospect, I was reckless at the time. It wasn't just reckless, it was even stupid. You should have learned something from the experience of the incident, but nothing has improved since then. When I went on an expedition, I was always used, and on days when I couldn't go on an expedition, I wandered around the square all day and turned weakly. Far from setting up a place to sleep, it was also a long way from connecting meals.

I was betrayed by a user who believed in me as a friend, and I was robbed for an instant. And then, there was no place to complain, so I just swallowed it inside and cried. Even if I didn't cry on the outside, I always cried in my heart.

One good thing was that at least I had someone to hate. I blamed my opponent for using me and blamed me for my lack. But I believe that the sun will shine someday. Maybe that was the last time I was pure.

However, the real problem was when the day came when there was a long-awaited sunset. I've always been around caravans since I happened to be led by a man to join the creation of a new caravan. He was worried every day that he might become a bait or be thrown away after being used only. But the caravan's users treated me with all their heart and thought of me as one person, not as a user.

I once asked that question to a man who was the leader.

"Why did you take me, man, to a caravan?’

At the words, the man said:

'Why? That's simple. Suhyun, you are definitely not a very attractive user. But I'll tell you this one thing. Although the user Kim Soo-hyun is a little unattractive, Kim Soo-hyun as a person is full of charm. At least for me.’

I'm pretty sure I have a good eye for people. You may be betrayed, but you're not the one to betray yourself first. That's why I put you in my caravan. I want to make our caravan a family where we can trust each other and leave our backs to each other, not a group that puts our skills first.’

Perhaps my heart that was hurt by the words was open. I'm glad I met the first reliable person in this harsh world, and I've always trusted and followed a man. I was able to get a seat in the caravan. Trusting and relying on your colleagues under any circumstances, you could be imprinted as a colleague at some point. Happiness came to my life for the first time as a user stained with wounds and tears.

But the happiness didn't last long. Only once did we have the damage of annihilation as a result of a false expedition in the Blue Mountains. Not only the leader, but also all of his colleagues who were laughing and talking until the expedition were exterminated. The only one who survived was me and the other who managed to escape.

I lost people who thought like family. The shock I received at the time was indescribable, and I and the rest of my colleagues broke up without saying anything to each other. In the end, I became a loner again.

But was I ever aware of that? The fact that the incident was just the beginning of a long hallplane life that would follow.

As I sometimes think, my first-time memories were always filled with similar experiences.

Crying after losing a colleague.

I cried after losing my friend.

I cried after losing my brother.

I cried after losing a woman.

The routine of losing and crying repeatedly.

Things that pass by like a midsummer night's dream.

And from some point on, I didn't cry anymore. The reason why I can't cry even if I look back on the memory now is because I'm tired of the daily life that I keep experiencing over and over again. Lost, hurt, shuddered and wept, and I gave up.

At the same time, I was finally able to realize. In other words, they instinctively realized how to no longer be hurt.

The way was simple. It was enough to treat the other person as a user rather than a person. It was treated as a necessity, not as a affection. As a result, there are many things that are naturally thought of as means or tools.

It certainly worked. For example, Helena's death occurred in the attack, but she did not feel such intense sadness. I just felt a deep regret that I didn't have a wide view. There is no way to feel regretful or regretful since he did not attach affection in the first place.

So I tried not to be attached to other users, except for my brother and Han So-young.

By the way, by the way.

"You..."

Now, a woman who craves for my affection and asks me to attach it to her. Citing my qualification as a father who weighs heavily on my shoulders. The words brought me a fresh shock. Because Gehenna really wanted me.

There is no doubt that what I hear is sincere. As I thought earlier, Gehenna is in a thorough position of superiority in this hell. It wouldn't be a job to keep me from going out if I put my mind to it.

But Gehenna did not. Rather, he caught me with a mournful voice, shining his eyes pitifully. I won't hold you forever. Just for a moment, please be with us for the sake of our children to be born. What kind of feelings did I feel when I thought of it as stationary?

"Please…."

When I heard another desperate voice in time, I felt my mind began to turn a little. In a moment, I thought I had to leave early. And my brother, Han So-young and other Clan members passed by my mind.

“…….”

I couldn't turn a blind eye to Henna's request to stay with her for just seven nights, not her whole life.

So I walked slowly toward Gehenna and opened my mouth quietly.

"Gehenna, I'm so sorry.”

At that moment, Gehenna's eyes rise like waves and close them tightly.

"I don't think I can be with you for the rest of my life.”

Yes, this is the answer. On the contrary, I was in a position to apologize. As Gehenna said, the child who was conceived now was my child.

"Oh…?"

In time, Henna opened her mouth gently as she opened her eyes as if something had not been expected.

"If you really don't mind seven nights....”

When I looked at Henna, I thought that.

"He, you?"

Slowly kneeled in front of Gehenna. And embarrassed, holding Henna's belly with both hands, calmly clasped her ears together. Although there was no sound, I focused all my nerves on my ears in anticipation of something being felt.

A little later.

I closed my eyes gently, feeling a cozy touch hugging the top of my head.

*

- New continent, Atlanta.

A young man is lying on a bed staring at the ceiling of the tent. At first glance, his blank eyes were as blurry as those of a dead person. Come to think of it, the water stains on the bed sheets as well as on the face seem to be dry from tears.

Then suddenly, tears dripped down again, and the young man shuddered once, frowning. I thought I'd put up with it for a while, but eventually I turned around and started sobbing. Tears flow down from the wrinkled eyes.

The young man who is crying on the bed was Ahn Hyun. About three weeks from now, to be exact, since Kim Soo-hyun was dragged in by the Grand Duke of Hell, An-hyun stayed up all night and cried for a few days. He didn't even take a sip of water, let alone food, but kept sobbing.

Later, he managed to come to his senses with the help of acquaintances around him, but Ahn Hyun, who had always been bright and cheerful, was no longer there. Almost always stuck in a tent, helplessly lying in a cot. Ko Yeon-joo and Jung Ha-yeon went in to scold each other, but when they saw Ahn Hyun crying, they shook their heads. The two women were also deeply disappointed by Kim Soo-hyun's near death, and knew what Ahn usually thought of Kim Soo-hyun.

Above all, Ahn Hyun's crying was truly sad. He tries to hold back his tears somehow, but the more he does, the more he groans like a groan flow out. Just like now.

It was then.

- Click.

The door opened carefully, and a woman of elegant appearance walked into the room. The woman who comes in with a tray of food in her hand is Im Hanna. He brought his own food and water because he was worried about Ahn Hyun's body.

"Hyuna. My sister is here. Try some of this. What?"

In fact, Im Han-na was sad in this situation. However, seeing other Clan members, especially those who have been with Kim Soo-hyun since the rite of passage, I couldn't make it obvious. Ahn Hyun was showing his feelings with his whole body, making the viewer forget the sadness for a while.

Ahn Hyun did not speak for a while. She just closed her mouth and started to steal her eyes with her fist.

"Yes. Is your sister here?”

Ahn Hyun, who had been wiping tears for such a long time, said in a hoarse voice, which was obvious that he had forced his voice to calm down. And surprisingly, I rose up and faced Im Han-na.

In fact, there is no way that you can have an appetite in this situation. However, Ahn did not want to cause any direct damage to the Clan members at least. Not long ago, I happened to see Lee Yu-jung screaming and making a fuss at Im Han-na, who brought the same food bowl as herself. At that time, Ahn Hyun understood Lee Yu-jung's feelings, but vowed not to do so. As I said, I'm not guilty of anything.

Ahn slowly raised her eyes and faced Im Han-na's gentle eyes and bowed her head.

"Sister…. Thank you…..”

"It's okay. Eat it because it's okay. I'm actually thankful that you're eating like this."

I think I know what that means, so Ahn Hyun laughed bitterly inside. On the tray, something like a soft soup, which was considerate of Ahn Hyun's weakened body, smelled savory. He struggled to pick up the spoon, but Ahn Hyun was slow to eat. As if you don't want to eat but force yourself to eat. It's inevitable because you don't have an appetite.

By the time I was forcing myself to throw up like that.

"What do you mean! What do you mean by that?"

Suddenly, a loud voice coming from outside the tent rang in the ears of Anhyun and Im Hanna. At the same time, the faces of the two men and women crossed. Ahn Hyun showed a curious look, and Im Han-na closed her eyes tightly. He looked as if he was saying he was finally here.

"You said you were back! You said you'd know if you had a contract! But...!

As soon as the voice was heard again, Ahn Hyun's eyes were torn apart as if he had thought of something. And immediately, he was stopped by Im Han-na's touch, as soon as he tried to lift himself up, he was stopped.

"No. Eat up and get out if you want to."

Im Han-na, who had a low brain attack, gently bit her lower lip and looked straight at An-hyun. His eyes were that he couldn't give in to this.

But

The next moment, Ahn Hyun's eyes, which had been dead, suddenly shone. Then, he took the soup out of the bowl and poured it into his mouth, and quickly pulled back the tent and went out of the tent.

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