MMORPG: Rise of the Peerless Pumpkinmancer

In a dark foggy library, a man was having a meltdown.

Jack glanced at the mountain of books they had set aside. It was now big enough to play king of the hill!

The recent tomes they had dug out were:

- Tone-deaf tunes for Skeleton armies sieging cities— Useless without an army.

- Infinite Demonic Energy in the Apocalypse— Potentially deadly!

- Fantastic undead and where to find them— Undead GO?!

- The man who threw pens at the undead— WTF?!

- Making Eternal s̶l̶a̶v̶e̶ Friends— Perhaps?

- A Loser's Guide to Skeletons— Maybe?

- Chicken Soup for the Soul — SPI?

- Liches of Azincourt— History?

- Know your bones — Medical?

- The Good Skeleton— Divine?

- Undead Life — Documentary?

- Etc.

Hell, choosing just one each was as hard as picking between tits or ass! In an ideal world, Jack would have buried his face in all of them at once! (The books)

Thus followed an incredibly heated discussion, filled with small "woos" and Jack's terse replies. They discussed plenty until he finally settled on what he wanted.

Then, it was Moon Moon's turn. Jack smiled as he already knew what his pet was going to choose. Its clear eyes had lit up with incredible desire when it had heard of one peculiar title.

But instead of going toward that one book it obviously wanted, it pounced toward one that Jack had almost picked!

"Woo!" (Eager!)

The little wolf felt that this decision was natural. It would get another book for its master! After all, he was its only family, ever since the day they had formed a soul contract! He truly deserved it!

What about its own happiness? It would be happy if its master was happy!

Its claws were just about to touch an undead summoning book when it felt its body float in the air. What?! Jack had picked up the pup by its neck and was gazing into its eyes with reproach.

"Woo?" (Confused?!)

"Dummy." Jack tapped its small head gently. "Your master will one day be the most powerful man in the universe. Do you think I need to steal a puny book from you?!" He thundered.

"Woo!" (That—)

"That's right! Now, grab that one book you wanted before!" Jack threw the small wolf straight at that one title that had made its small heart beat faster earlier.

That's when Moon Moon understood. As much as it wanted to please its master, he too wanted for it to be happy.

Without causing any more trouble, Moon Moon selected its reward. The small wolf grabbed the loot as if it were the most precious thing in the world. (After its master of course)

<A Death Knight's Struggles With Literacy>

With this new book, it would be able to read! (Eventually) This newfound knowledge would bring it one step closer to understanding its master's world! Perhaps it would be able to help him too!

As for Jack, he had settled on an incredibly dumb choice. His head kept telling him that there was no way it would end up well, but his heart hadn't been able to resist.

<Infinite Demonic Energy in the Apocalypse>

Infinite Demonic energy would no doubt be horrible! He felt the stench of corruption on it, and this thing was forbidden for sure! The main question was how much of it he could actually use. As for why it was in the Tutorial— who cared!

The two ran out of the room with their newfound loot as if thieves. Moon Moon entrusted its new treasure to Jack for safekeeping. Fun fact, it was bound to the wolf, and he couldn't even open it. Talk about peculiar! (Not that he'd complain…)

The two continued their journey in a great mood.

The incredibly annoying FML now felt like a chorus celebrating their success. The other monsters couldn't bring their spirit down either. It was smooth sailing!— but that was about to change.

The two partners were now stuck gazing at some enormous doors. They were inscribed with bones as well as chickens and were pulsating with a red light reminding one of a heart.

"Woo?!" (Astonished!)

"This sure reeks of a boss fight!" Jack clicked his tongue, looking at it.

The little wolf suddenly turned incredibly solemn. It knew what a boss was! They were big bullies that gave treasure when defeated!

The two shared a glance as they pushed the large doors in front of them. It opened with a world-shatteringly loud creak, echoing in the dark interior.

— Creak!—

— Creak!—

— Creak!—

No matter how careful they were entering, that sound had already betrayed them! They had only taken a few wary steps inside when the doors behind them suddenly slammed shut!

"Woo?!" (How?!)

"This, my friend, is the typical scenario. Either we defeat whatever now spawns, or we're dead meat." Jack explained.

"Woo!" (Nodding!)

That's when two tiny green flames suddenly lit up in the distance. What was that?! It appeared to be….the eyes of a skeleton?! The fire filled the eye sockets! The creature grinned as it gazed at them.

<Poultry Farming Pseudo-Lich Lv 20! 🐔☠>

"What the actual fuck?!" Jack uttered, shocked. As soon as he saw the name, he knew that the upcoming fight would be incredibly hard.

The creature waved its hand. The entire room lit up, and it was freaking humongous. The floor was entirely white, and the walls were the color of obsidian.

At every corner of the room, there were tons of weapons scattered...and even ballistae?! As for the undead, it was sitting on a throne made of…chicken bones?!

The creature was wearing a weird farmer's straw hat and kept going from mad cackles to freaking clucking! There was 100% something wrong with that guy!

The monster suddenly opened its bony maw:

"So yOu'vE ChOsEn dEaTh, GoOd! DeAtH AcCePts aLl, ChIcKeNs aCcEpT AlL, I aCcEpT AlL!" The lich (?) thundered.

Damn, its voice was so grating to the ears! It was super high at times and nothing but husky mumbling at others. Also, what the hell was it talking about?

"I didn't choose shit!" Jack's protests obviously fell on inexistent ears.

That's when the creature rose, its throne collapsing into plenty of small bones. It waved again, and instantly the floor began to tremble. As it did, they gasped in shock and fright.

The floor wasn't just white. It was completely made of bones! Now they were all coming to life...

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

[A/N] A wild undead farmer appeared! How will you react?! =P