MMORPG: Rise of the Peerless Pumpkinmancer
359 Naked Fish Guy!
On a remote beach near the lake, players could be seen rushing stealthily, their faces filled with wild excitement. Their leader gave a vicious grin as she guided her party.
"Hehe, we're almost there. Once you see them, charge in. No pity!"
Then they finally crossed the mist, arriving at a training camp for Aquatic People NPCs. As soon as the latter saw the players, they showed terror as they tried to escape toward the lake.
But would the hunters give up on their preys so easily? No way! They instantly began spamming skills. Last time they had been too slow, but they now had a secret weapon!
"Do it!"
That's when an ice wizard stepped forward.
In such a humid environment, they were pretty much on steroids. All it took was one perfectly placed spell to cause a chain reaction and freeze a group!
The mage generated an ice spear, throwing it straight at the largest group of fleeing NPCs. They were so doomed!— Or so everyone thought.
But right before it could reach them, something strange happened. The spell randomly exploded mid-air, generating an ice cloud.
"What?! I'm sure I aimed that perfectly!" The stunned player couldn't understand how he had missed his spell. But the others knew, already biting their lips in anger.
"Dammit! It's that masked NPC again!"
"How?! He can even block spells?!"
"Bruh, that guy's cheated AF!"
There stood a man in the silliest getup possible. The man was completely naked except for a dead-eyed fish mask that looked utterly silly. Yet, even then he was so powerful!
"It's because of him? Let me see how many you can block!" The mage's competitive side had been awakened. That's when began the deadly ice barrage.
— SWOOSH! SWOOSH! —
The projectiles flew menacingly, the NPCs about to have a heart attack— well, all except one. The masked guy nonchalantly picked up something on the ground, powerfully threw it, and…
— Echoes of ice exploding and a mage despairing. —
All the projectiles exploded in mid-air! This guy was akin to an anti-missile defense turret! But there was something even worse. He had actually been throwing… shells?!
What the hell?! Those things were all over the beach and had no attack power whatsoever! He simply had godlike timing, using the collision to trigger the magic attacks early.
"Oh god! Forget the little guys. Kill the Boss!"
That's when the poor masked naked guy became the target of a party of fifteen. But unlike most Boss monsters that were highly aggressive, this guy kept retreating.
Lucky for the players, they quickly figured out a method to force him to fight. It was rather low-handed, but it wasn't like players needed any morals.
"Focus on the NPCs. He has to protect them. That'll draw him out!" The leader schemingly cried out.
God was this the right call! Every time he wanted to escape, he had to come back in melee range to save the bloody useless fishes! This was enough to pin the poor Boss down.
He'd curse in his strange language every time, not that they cared about the gibberish. They mercilessly surrounded him.
But then something unexpected happened. Even while at a disadvantage…he wasn't out of tricks just yet:
He avoided a magical lasso at the last second, the thing landing on an ally.
He ducked under a giant halberd, the weapon colliding with another attack and protecting him. It was so close that he even lost back hair on that one.
He rolled right underneath an unsuspecting player's legs, simultaneously stabbing the man's nether region. Even in a virtual setting, this was bound to leave a trauma!
He seemed as agile as a naked monkey…and kinda looked like one. But even he had his limits, his dodges becoming sloppier and sloppier over time. Then they finally saw an opening.
"Now, KILLL!"
They all charged forward and…
He suddenly erupted with power, a fiery inferno rising from his hands. The spell collided with the weakest link in their formation, sending the poor guy flying.
That's when the Boss ran for his life. There was no hesitation as he sprinted toward the lake, unhesitatingly diving into it! The players were left staring blankly at the scene.
"Really?! He escaped?!"
"Bro, there's something wrong with that guy!"
"Don't worry. We'll get him next time for sure!"
The players collected a few coral weapons that had been dropped in the panic before reluctantly leaving. Still, it was only a matter of time before they were back.
Meanwhile, under the water surface…
[Your Troops Are Grateful. Affinity ++!]
[Left the Beach! "Swimming Suit" Effect Disabled!]
All this time, Jack had been wearing his gear. It had simply been hidden under a rare drop he had finally gotten from killing crabs. But even after escaping calamity, he couldn't help but sigh.
"Goddamn, can't you guys at least run in a straight line?!" Jack was wondering which gods he had offended to be given such a terrible mission.
They were so hard to protect! They were like babies who didn't know better than to stick their fingers in power outlets— monsters and players.
It wasn't the first time that they were attacked, and it would be far from the last, but it remained as irksome. This land training was proving unbelievingly annoying.
But even then, he had to persevere, all for his master plan.
1. Complete Mission
2. Awe The Mermaids
3. Gain Unrestricted Access
4. Profit!
He glanced at them all as he gave some post-fight feedback.
"Orange fish, you did pretty well. I saw you block that rapier and save your friend's life. Blue fish, that juke was actually pretty nice. Yellow guy, stick with the group and stop taunting…."
Each of his remarks was to the point. Whenever they heard him, they found themselves shivering, wondering if he was an omniscient entity.
A battlefield was one hell of a chaotic mess, especially for them who had never fought before a few days ago. Jack being able to see every little detail never ceased to amaze/terrify them.
Yep, running away was definitely not possible. Heck, he'd probably realize it a second before it actually happened.
"In any case, we're going back up there. No rest for the wicked…."
They all nodded solemnly, the grind resuming until...
[Daily Troops Teachings Completed!]
[They Gained Massive XP!]
[Keep Grinding ^_^!]
"You mean suffering…."
.
.
.
Little did Jack know that things were about to go from bad to worse. While he was diligently teaching, forum posts were steadily gaining popularity.
< The Mysterious Naked Fish Guy! >
< Chosen one: He Who Fights Naked! >
< Naked Guy And the 30 D̶w̶a̶r̶v̶e̶s̶ Fishes! >
Many were taking notice of the small army, especially given the commotion that the escalating tension with the mermaids was causing.
— WonSpermatoizoidRace: Guys, this man is my hero! Is there anything cooler than a dude that fights naked?! *Badass Voice: Armor? Who needs it!*
— HeThing: Badass or not, I'm more interested in the lore. Where do you guys think he came from? He seems human, so why is he protecting fishes?!
— SerenelyPragmatic: Who cares about that! Does he give a quest when encountered?! There has to be a secret mission there, right?
— ProYoyoUser: Naw, it only gave the usual mermaid encounter one. You know, that one: [Enemy Faction Detected! Kill/Capture Them for Rewards!]
— OriginalGangster: What if killing him gives a treasure map?! Or maybe it's possible to recruit him to one's side? Then again, I'm not sure I'd want a naked guard…
By that point, every thread usually turned into nonsense, many arguing about the potential rewards. Heck, it even gave rise to its own thread:
< Naked Fish Guy Reward Poll!>
- Treasure Map !$!$!$ 483 votes
- Fish Guy (Pet version) 507 votes
- Shell throwing technique 212 votes
- Fishman Summoning Spell 104 votes
- …
Egged by the trendiness of it all, it didn't take long for a bunch of groups with too much free time to take on the "mission".
While this happened, Jack was lazily sipping lemonade on the couch, a sunlight lamp basking his face with literal happiness. Was there anything more comfortable than this? Probably not!
But just as he was enjoying himself, eyes closed, he suddenly heard footsteps. Then came a gasp of shock, confusion, and even sheer terror.
"Evil alien, what have you done with my brother?! There's no way he'd be lazing around like that!" Lilly exaggeratedly exclaimed.
"You, how did you see through my disguise?!" He happily played along.
"Humph, my brother is a compulsive workaholic. He'd never be just relaxing!"
As she confidently declared, he could see a trace of concern in her eyes. Well, she wasn't wrong either. It was just that he had long stopped seeing Infinite as work, but instead his calling.
"I have a new quest, one that requires me to train some newbies. Gotta let them rest at some point. Otherwise, they'll go insane." He shrugged, Lilly raising a brow, stunned.
Letting the NPC rest?! Insane?! What kind of deadly training regiment was he imposing on them?! She had seen many videos of how tireless the AI characters could be!
Then again, this was just like him, wasn't it…
She mischievously grinned, lying right next to him and imitating his posture, closing her eyes with satisfaction. "This is nice…."
It was more than nice. Just her being there was enough to make the small apartment shine with warmth. Then again, perhaps he ought to do something about that…
"Say, I've been thinking…how about we move out? Either rent something bigger or buy a house altogether?" She deserved that much…if only for all she had endured in both lives.
"No need! I wouldn't mind living in a cardboard box as long as we're together. Anyway, tell me more about that mission of yours!" She eagerly urged him.
"Well, you see…." He began his story, only for her to suddenly interrupt him.
"You're Naked Fish Guy, seriously?! Wait, no, what the heck are you doing?! Didn't you check the forums? You're about to get raided!!!!"
"…?!?"
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