Muted

When I opened my eyes again, the white light in the room made my eyes hurt.

I frowned and blinked, and after looking at the light, I looked around again: there were no star posters on the wall, and there was no trace of dirt. Yellow goose curtains were pulled up and hung by the window, and the high sky could be seen through the bright windows. The sofa in the corner, the chair by the bed, the whole room was clean and tidy, but there was no trace of popularity. When I heard something, I turned my head and saw the infusion tube hanging in the air. The drops were dropped one by one. After converging, they flowed through the slender tube below and finally passed the needle on the back of the hand. , Into my body.

I lay in bed for a while, and felt like a stone was pressed on my chest, and my heart had to work hard to afford every breath. I want to pull out the needle on my hand and yell and cry, and even tear the wound on my body to prove that I just returned to that nightmare again. But I didn't do anything, I just lay there, looking at the ceiling, tears expressionless. I regained it like a drug addict who was suffering and suffering from a drug addiction, and was greedy and intoxicated to relive those scenes in his dream.

Those who smile at me, the love and happiness I feel, while the temperature is still there, I hold them tightly in my arms, trying to cover the already frozen chest.

Someone opened the door and approached. It was the nurse who came to the rounds. She looked at me with a surprised "ah" and hurried out. Not long after, some doctors and nurses came in outside the door and groped for me to check this and that. I lay quietly and let them move. On the way, the nurse who found me waking up stood in front of my bed, hesitated for a long time, and finally lifted me up and replaced me with a new pillow. She walked out of the room with the pillow that was mostly wet, and looked at me At a glance, how to describe that kind of look is probably the look of passers-by when people with broken legs and feet humbled and begged to beg for alms in the street.

The room was quiet again, and I lay on the bed silently until the sun was about to set, and the sky outside the window was red, reflecting the whole room as if it was about to burn. Yi Tian came at this time, followed by two middle-aged women. After one of the women came in, she put the food container in her hand on the table next to the bed, took out a few small dishes of cold dishes from the inside, and poured some light white porridge from the thermos, waiting for the other woman to shake After I could sit up on the high bed, she picked up the bowl and walked in front of me. She scooped some porridge with a spoon and looked at me as if she was waiting for my mouth to open.

"I'll do it myself." I whispered softly at her, only to feel my throat dry and uncomfortable with a hoarse voice that I couldn't hear myself. The woman turned her head to look at Yi Tian and gave me the bowl only after getting his gesture. My hand shook so badly that I only stabilized the bowl for a long time, and I could n’t use my fingers to force it. I almost couldn't hold the spoon several times. Looking down slowly and drinking porridge, the warm white porridge made the throat and stomach much more comfortable.

Yi Tian has been sitting next to him with the pda in his hand to deal with things, until the two women finished packing and left him without leaving.

"Yi Tian ..." I wanted to thank him for the care he received at the hospital, but after thinking about it, he must think that I was acting in a false way, and then he re-exported and asked him to help. Hey. "He didn't answer and didn't even raise his head. I was a little embarrassed and explained hesitantly:" I just want to ask her to help bury my mother. "I don't know how long I will stay in bed like this, I I do n’t know how my mother ’s body is handled .. If no one asks .. I have a chest pain, I dare not think about it.

Yi Tian finally accepted the pda and looked up at me. There was still no emotion in his eyes. "It has been buried, in Songhe Cemetery."

I looked at him in doubt about the Songhe Cemetery. This is a high-level cemetery on the outskirts of the city. How can I take care of these things there, and that is Li Zhi, it is impossible to have this condition.

I couldn't react to it for a while, but Yi Tian saw my doubt and opened his mouth and said, "I'll apologize to you instead of Lin Han." His expression was indifferent, and his proud look seemed like I should immediately kneel to the ground. They scratched their heads and thanked them. Probably I was a ridiculous clown in their eyes. The pain I experienced was an interesting performance. After watching the show, they casually threw me a few coins, which was amusement for them.

I really want to roar proudly: "I don't need your charity sympathy not your money!" But what is this ridiculous self-esteem and resentment, what can I get my mother to sleep in the high-level cemetery? Could her fool who had been so despicable in her lifetime lie in a place where most people can't stay after her death? Can this waste I can't move give me now? So I nodded to Yitian with the most sincere expression, "Thank you."

He stopped talking, and the atmosphere in the room was depressing. I do n’t think he ’ll come again this time. We probably wo n’t see each other again in this life, so I explained things to him clearly, “There are no photos. I was in a hurry to raise money for my mother ’s surgery. They will not speak at all. "

Yi Tian looked at me silently, I was afraid he thought I was trying to make excuses for his fault, so I made it all clear, "And ... sorry. I did a lot of things before." Laughing, "Sorry for having such an embarrassing memory of your life." I guessed in his heart his reaction, and he was ready to scold me for hypocrisy or ask me what to do, but he said nothing. I got up and left without leaving me a look.

I watched his back move away slowly, and didn't return until the door slammed shut. The eyes were gradually blurred, and I was amazed by the extreme perseverance and sadness that suddenly came from my heart. I suddenly remembered that I didn't stand in front of him and said "I love you" seriously and honestly. It is probably that these three words are too heavy and holy and beautiful. My deep-rooted inferiority and cowardice have left me with no courage to speak. I really want to chase someone back and hold his hand and say once, even if we are about to face the most vicious abuse and merciless punching and kicking.

This is probably the last chance in my life.

After Yi Tian left, I stayed alone in the ward. There were no visits from relatives and friends, no beautiful flowers and intimate fruit baskets. The whole room looked empty and cold, and was dead. It was too quiet, and gradually I felt a little sleepy, and my eyelids were drowsy. Strangely, it seemed that my mother ran out of the hospital in a panic and looked around for something. A thin guy walked across the road, she chased with joy on her face, and a car came galloping on the left, but in a blink of an eye, the man was knocked out and flew in a pool of blood.

I woke up and shook my eyes, waking up with my sick clothes on my back. I shrank slightly, and I felt a little cold. When I reached out to pull the quilt higher, I heard a small muffled sound, as if it sounded from my chest, like a scream that a man who had been suppressed for a long time couldn't bear the extreme pain. There were all kinds of messy sounds in my ears, those wailing cries that were sharp, heartbreaking, and those crying for humble heartbeats, and all the voices suddenly mixed together and caught me by surprise.

I breathed in my chest and opened my mouth, calming my heartbeat, "Don't be afraid ... don't be afraid ..." I wiped the tears from my face and shouted, "Don't be afraid ... don't cry ... I'll come to you right away."