My 1979

Xiao Wei came in and cautiously poked his head in. When he saw Li He sitting motionless on the chair, he shouted at the top of his lungs, "Brother."

Seeing that he didn't move for a long time, he boldly approached him quietly, and a snap made him jump back in fright.

"Get out." He finally said.

"Brother, are you okay?" Xiao Wei looked at the fragments in front of his feet. This is Li He's favorite purple clay pot. He usually hugs her tightly for fear of accidentally bumping into it. He didn't expect that he would fall like this today. .

"I told you to get out!" He roared with all his strength.

Serena was so frightened that she immediately ran out of the house.

The heat began to slowly dissipate from every alley and road, and the rainy season began with pattering or banging, and the rain would never stop once it started. The glazed tiles on the roof are brighter, the leaves of the trees are brighter, and the dust on the ground has disappeared.

Li He still sat motionless in his chair, thinking about his own thoughts.

He thought about his home and her home over and over again. He sat on the threshold holding his son in his arms, listening to him call daddy in a crisp way, thinking that his daughter didn't want to go to school, and kept calling daddy coquettishly, and his heart melted. But the more he thought about it now, the more his heart became clogged and he couldn't breathe at all. Who was covering his nose and mouth?

What went wrong? He kept thinking, is it his fault for not looking for her?

But in the past six years, as her letters became fewer and fewer, he became more and more afraid to look for her.

He only dared to wait like this.

He just thought that as soon as he came back, the whole family would be complete. She should know that he loves her. In every letter, he took the trouble to tell her that he was thinking of her. Afraid that she would suffer hardship, he also had stacks of remittance orders in his hand. He had not failed to make a payment in one of the past six years!

He thought she knew her. They had been together for more than thirty years, so why didn't he understand her. She also understands him. You see, she often says that you feel sorry for women.

He doesn't do housework, so he naturally feels distressed when he sees her doing housework and being busy, "Let's take a rest."

But she smiled happily and said, "You know it's okay as long as you feel sorry for me. No matter how tired you are, you're not tired."

Seeing that her hands were rough, he would say, "Let's hire an aunt."

But she said, "It doesn't matter if you are poor, it doesn't matter if you are tired, as long as you live happily and be happy. As long as the family is together, there is no need to ask for any blessings."

She's right.

After more than thirty years, what else do you still don’t understand?

He often worked the night shift and would come back early in the morning. She would wait for him to get off work and make him midnight snacks. She also often waits for him.

They are no longer children, do they need family affection? Just go, what will she have if he waits?

No, no, he thought that this would definitely not work. He still had to go find her. They had never quarreled before. It was normal to have a quarrel. In the past, she usually lowered her head. Now what does it matter if he lowers his head? He is a man. , can bend and stretch!

It was getting dark and she had already left work. He still called Lao Zhao and said tremblingly, "Lao Zhao, you must know where she lives, right?"

Lao Zhao said, "You must be fucking crazy!"

"Old Zhao." He suddenly cried. How could he cry now? "I never begged you."

He has never begged anyone. Except for Lao Wu's affairs, he has never begged anyone in his life.

"Wait for me there."

Lao Zhao took a taxi, and so did Liu Bo.

Liu Bo complained to Lao Zhao, "You are the only one who is soft-hearted."

Li He asked Liu Bo, "You already knew this."

Liu Bo frowned and said, "I'm doing this for your own good."

"You Male Gobi." Li He punched him with one fist. He wanted to beat this bastard to death.

"You, Mahler Gobi, are still being unreasonable." Liu Bo hurriedly hid behind Zhao Yongqi.

Lao Zhao pulled Li He away.

"When Liu Bo asked about her, she went to see Liu Bo. He met me last time and came to me to ask us to send a message. How do we send a message? It wasn't Liu Bo and I who discussed it. I called you to tell you. .”

Liu Bo said, "For your own good, do you know?"

Zhao Yongqi pushed him away and said, "Hurry up and go through the formalities. Don't wait any longer."

This is the dormitory of the work unit. Liu Bo got the pass and took two people in.

At the bottom of the dormitory building, Liu Bo said, "We'll wait for you outside. You can knock on the door yourself and find out clearly. It's on the second floor."

Li He said, "Thank you."

"You have to be conscientious." Liu Bo left with Zhao Yongqi.

Li He slowly moved upstairs, reached the door, and knocked twice, but when there was no response, he took a deep breath, knocked twice, and the door opened, and it was her.

She was shocked when she saw that he was wet all over, "It's raining so hard, what are you doing here?"

He said nervously, "I'm sorry."

She pursed her lips, then sighed, and then said helplessly, "Come in."

The house was small, but very clean. He looked at the water marks on the ground and said at a loss, "The mop is here, I'll drag it down."

She took a towel to him and said, "Wipe your hair down, or you'll catch a cold later."

"Oh, thank you."

"Sit down." She poured him another cup of hot water.

"No, it's not good if the sofa gets wet for you."

She fiddled with her hair, sat across from him, and sighed, "Erhe, it really doesn't have to be like this. Are you asking me to pity you?"

"That's not what I meant. I came here to apologize. I shouldn't have made you angry." Li He hurriedly took out a paper bag from his arms and put it on the table. "Where did you leave this money with me?"

Zhang Wanting shook her head, "This money has been sent to me by you over the years. It belongs to you, so you can take it back."

"I have money, don't be reluctant to use it. It's enough for us to last a lifetime."

Zhang Wanting smiled bitterly and said, "Okay. Erhe. Really, I am very grateful to you, thank you very much. If I had not met you, I can't even imagine what my life would have been like. But there are no assumptions in life. There are no ifs. I just want to tell you that nothing can go back. So I don’t want to hurt you. I always hope that you can meet a better one, and that there will be someone who is truly willing to tolerate you and truly loves you. But. When I came back this time, I saw you were still alone, and I felt very sad, you know? I felt more sad than you, you know? I hope you are well, really."

Li He said seriously, "I promised you, I will wait for you."

"Why are you still so childish? Erhe, it's time for you to grow up. You know in your heart that it's impossible for us. It's impossible. Do you understand? Can you understand?" She became more and more excited as she spoke and took a deep breath. He sighed and closed his eyes helplessly, "I know that saying this will hurt you a little, but I don't want to lie. Lies are the biggest harm to you. I hope everyone can be more sensible. Even if I agree, everyone will be together reluctantly. What's the point? If I'm not happy, you won't be happy either."

Li He squatted in front of her with a playful smile and said, "Good wife, why don't I change my career? I shouldn't make you angry, so don't be angry, okay?"

She held her forehead with her hand, shook her head and said, "Whenever something happens, you act like this. I have said so much, but you still don't understand. Li Erhe, I am not a little girl anymore. I have grown up. I really I don’t need you to coax me, does this make sense? I admit that I am very grateful to you, but gratitude is not love, it is not love. Our mistake at the beginning was that we regarded compassion and gratitude as love and marriage. Can you Wake up?"

"I feel sorry for you, I feel sorry for you. I just don't want you to be wronged. I don't want you to be wronged for the rest of my life." Why could she suddenly not understand him? Every word she spoke was like a needle pricking his heart.

Every word she said sounded strange to him. This was no longer the Zhang Wanting he knew. His Zhang Wanting would never say such heartbreaking words.

"I beg you. Erhe, find a better one, you will meet a better one."

"I"

She said seriously, "Stop talking, Erhe, if you really love me, please let me go."

"This joke is not funny at all." He looked at her face that had appeared countless times in his memory, and unconsciously wanted to touch it. He even wanted to hold her in his arms. He wanted her to know that he I miss her so much and love her so much.

"It's getting late, you should go back." She hid in a hurry, and seeing that he still didn't move there, she continued, "How about you stay here, I'll go to my dormitory to sleep. It's raining heavily anyway, so don't go back. .”

After saying that, I took my umbrella and headed out.

"No. You stay here, I'm leaving."

He went out and stood in the rain, making no sound at all. His body was shaking, and he just kept wiping his eyes, not knowing where to go.

Zhao Yongqi and Liu Bo came over to help him hold an umbrella. Seeing him like this, no one said anything.

It just rained harder and harder.

Awang screamed with joy at Xiaowei. He had been hungry all day, and the chickens and ducks in the yard were about to riot, making a lot of cooing noises.

Xiaowei walked under the porch and wiped the rain off her face.

He opened his bag, first added some rice to Awang's rice bowl, and then sprinkled some rice into the chicken coop.

He entered the room, he went over and took Li He's slender, pale hand, "Brother, it's time to eat."

"Oh." Li He sat cross-legged on the ground, picked up his chopsticks naturally, and put rice into his mouth one by one. His face was expressionless and painless.

"Brother, let's eat some food, your favorite braised pork." Xiao Wei cried. He watched with his own eyes a big living person reduced to skin and bones.

Li He picked up a piece of meat, chewed it expressionlessly, and muttered, "I'm getting old."

Xiao Wei said happily, "Then I'll ask them to put less soy sauce tonight. You eat hard, and after you finish, I'll let them do it."

Li He picked a few chopsticks but suddenly let them go, leaned on the legs of the chair and closed his eyes. He didn't want to eat, but if he didn't eat, his stomach would not only be hungry, but also hurt. He was afraid of both hunger and pain.

But he likes the feeling of closing his eyes. He will close his eyes one day. There is no difference if he closes his eyes sooner or later.

Xiao Wei cried and put away the dishes, "Brother, if you feel uncomfortable, just smoke a cigarette."

"I quit smoking, and I promised her to quit smoking."

Xiao Wei left the house and met Zhao Yongqi and He Fang at the gate.

"Sister He, Brother Zhao, it's better not to go in."

He Fang stood in the yard and watched for a while, then turned and left.

Zhao Yongqi handed Xiao Wei a note, "This is my phone number. If you need anything, call me. Don't disturb him. Send him the food."

Xiao Wei nodded and said, "Brother Zhao, don't worry, I'm not going anywhere, I'm just watching my brother."

Zhao Yongqi patted Serena on the shoulder and said, "That's up to you."

Then he hurried to catch up with He Fang, but He Fang had already got into a taxi.

He had no choice but to stop another car in a panic and asked the driver to get on board.

The driver said, "Don't worry, buddy, I can definitely keep up."

The car drove for half an hour, until he saw He Fang getting out of the car from the front, he gave the money and got out of the car.

He stepped forward and grabbed He Fang and said, "What are you doing? This is it."

He Fang said, "I'll ask her clearly."

She had long wanted to have an attack.

Zhao Yongqi said, "Are you asking this question clearly? Even if you go to find her, the result will still be the same. What's the point? Besides, this is a matter between the two of them, and they can only solve it by themselves."

She looked around blankly, and then murmured for a long time, "Yes, it's their own business."

In what capacity would she get involved? Thinking about it, she couldn't help but feel a little decadent.

All she could do was take care of him, but she came back helplessly and stood in the doorway for a long time. When she saw Xiaowei coming over, she asked in a low voice, "How was the meal today?"

Xiao Wei shook his head, "I still haven't eaten much."

He Fang said, "You go back, I'll be fine here."

"Sister He, you have to go to work. I can do it alone."

He Fang said, "I asked for leave. Don't worry about it. Just go home and rest. I will call you if anything happens."

She entered the room and looked at Li He without saying a word. She knew that her responsibility was to comfort him, but how to comfort him?

"If you want to cry, just cry. It will feel better if you cry."

Li He opened his eyes and asked curiously, "Why should I cry? You must be crazy."

He Fang smiled and said, "Okay, okay, I'm crazy."

"You are crazy."

"Then I'll boil some water and you can take a shower, okay?" He Fang pinched the sleeves of his clothes and smelled them, "Well, whoosh. How many days have you not taken a shower or changed your clothes?"

He turned his head and stopped talking to her.

She didn't care at all, boiled water, first washed his hands, then wiped her face, and finally made him a cup of tea and put it in his hand.

He didn't answer and just said, "Where's my teapot? My teapot is missing."

She said softly, "The teapot is dirty. I'll wash it for you later and make it for you, okay?"

She couldn't find the same style of purple clay teapot in the main room's bedroom.

She remembered that there should be many teapots in the basement, so she had to lock the door and go to the basement under the rockery. There were probably dozens of fine purple clay teapots in the house. She looked left and right and finally found a purple clay teapot of the same style as before in a box, so she breathed a sigh of relief.

She washed the teapot carefully, made tea again, brought it to Li He and said, "Look, isn't this your previous teapot? It's here. Come on."

"Liars are all liars."