My Feelings Can Wait

Zhong Qingyu was busy with the papers at hand, and when he habitually searched for news about Ji Youyan before turning off his computer, he saw several consecutive hot searches for Ji Youyan.

She saw the entry "Ji Yooyan was attacked by a naked man", her heart sighed, and when she clicked it on, she saw the video of Ji Yooyan hiding her face on the square, being helped by Jing Xuan and another woman to get into the car with difficulty, with vain steps. , Weak hands and feet.

She immediately grabbed the mobile phone on the side and called Ji Yuyan, but the phone was connected in her prayer.

Ji Youyan has repeatedly comforted her, but Zhong Qingyu heard that she had broken her head and hurt her bones. Knowing that she had always reported good news but not bad news, she had to take a personal look.

No matter how much unpleasantness had been on the phone before, the long-lost concern from his mother still made Ji Youyan feel hot. So even though she felt unnecessary, seeing Zhong Qingyu insisted, she did not shirk too much and agreed.

As soon as she hung up the phone, she saw Jing Xiu push the door back. Jing Xiu looked tired, but his eyes were soft when he looked at her.

"Is it okay?" Jing Xuan sat down beside Ji Yooyan's bed, his eyes fell on Ji Yooyan's left arm fixed with a triangle scarf.

Ji Yuyan saw her worry and moved the finger of her left hand, pretending to be relaxed: "Do you think it feels bad?"

Jing Xiu shook her hand nervously, "Don't move."

Ji Yuyan chuckled, and endured the soreness and rubbed the back of Jingxuan's hand with his thumb, "It's okay, the doctor also said that you can move properly." She paused, shifting Jingxuan's attention and said: "Axuan, my mother sees. It’s the news, so I can’t help but come over and take a look. It’s just this opportunity that I will introduce you to them formally, OK?"

During this period of time, although there were still quarrels with Zhong Qingyu about the relationship, Ji Yuyan felt that Zhong Qingyu's tone was still loosened a lot. She felt that when Zhong Qingyu really saw Jingxuan, she would be convinced by Jingxuan's outstanding charm.

However, Jing Xiu's reaction was different from what she expected. She frowned slightly, and stopped talking, as if embarrassed.

Ji Yooyan thought she might be unwilling, and quickly changed her words and thoughtfully said: "It's okay, Axun, if you are not ready, we will wait for the next time. Speaking of which, you should concentrate on the performance these days, and it is not suitable for distraction... …"

Before she finished speaking, Jing Xiu interrupted her softly and said, "It's not like this."

She Dingding and Ji Yuyan stared at each other, biting her lip and confessed: "Yanyan, I have seen them." Her eyes were filled with imperceptible anxiety.

Ji Yoo made a mistake.

Jing Xiu lowered his eyelids and said in a low voice, "I'm sorry, I wrote to them without your consent or discussion with you. Two months ago, your father asked someone to tell me that if you want to see me, I just Go. It's my own opinion."

She didn't want to tell Ji Yuyan about this, but now she has some doubts that she can't help herself. Her reason told her that she shouldn't let Ji Youyan bear the consequences of the backlog of these problems as ignorantly as before.

"Don't apologize, I'm just surprised, I didn't mean to blame you at all." Ji Youyan recovered, and stretched out his right hand to cover Jingxun's soft quilt.

She knew that Jing Xiu must have done this because she wanted to help her get the approval of her parents. How could she be willing to blame her.

She knows how Jing Xun is, and she knows the stubbornness of her parents. Reminiscent of Jingxun's embarrassment just now, she said eagerly: "Axun, did my parents make you wronged? Did they say something bad?"

Jing Xiu looked into Ji Yuyan's distressed eyes, thinking of Ji Changsong and Zhong Qingyu's cold words to her, sour nose surged.

She said grimly: "They didn't say anything, they just didn't like us very much."

"Yes..." Jing Xiu hesitated, his eyes were filled with depression, "They think I can't protect you, and can't give you real happiness."

"I felt harsh at the time and the refutation was plausible, but I am a little uncertain now." She confided.

But this kind of suspicion that Ji Yuyan might have to let go of Ji Yuyan made her feel distressed as if torn apart by something. Guilt and resentment rubbed back and forth on her wound like a blunt knife. She tried to withdraw her hand from Ji Yuyan's hand and close her fist, restraining herself from being too gaffe.

Ji Yuyan clasped the hand she wanted to escape, and said in a trembled, "Not sure what?"

The power from his hands is Ji Yuyan's uneasy uneasiness. Jingxun felt another sharp pain in his heart.

She forced herself to look directly at Ji Yuyan and choked: "Yanyan, I'm not sure if I did something wrong."

"I want you to be brave, but after you are brave, I can't protect you. I will only make you hurt again and again because of me." Her long eyelashes trembled, and tears fell silently down her cheeks, "I really Is your best choice?"

She turned her head to try to wipe away the tears, as if asking Ji Yuyan, more like asking herself.

Is this the most preferred question? She asked herself before reuniting, and Ji Changsong lingered in her heart more often after the questioning. She kept trying to believe in herself, until just now she could only watch Ji Yooyan fall down in front of her, her mental construction completely collapsed.

Jing Xiu's self-doubt was like a sharp arrow piercing Ji Yuyan's heart, making her eyes sore for an instant. She couldn't bear to see Jingxun's fragile appearance. She looked at Jing Xun, and for a moment she seemed to see herself back then.

She also asked herself this question the year she broke up with Jingxun.

She reluctantly wanted to sit up close to Jing Xun, Jing Xun quickly stood up to help her, but Ji Youyan raised her chin to kiss the tears from the corner of her eye when she leaned down.

It was so bitter, and her heart was broken.

"Axun, do you remember that you told me? I love you, which is your greatest confidence." She stared at Jingxun's beautiful eyes that were close at hand.

Jing Xiu stared at her, her heart trembling.

Ji Yooyan moved her body to the left with her hands, tenderly like a waterway: "Axiu, sit up." She raised her hand and gently hooked Jingxiu's waist.

Jing Xiu couldn't stand steady, afraid of being pressured by Ji Yooyan, so she sat on the bed as she wanted and sat in Ji Yooyan's arms.

Ji Yuyan tightened Jingxun's waist, as if this could make up for the anxiety in her heart. Her voice was faint and far away, as if it came from a memory, "Do you know that you broke up back then, why did I agree without any reservation?"

Jing Xiu raised her heart, and looked sideways to see Ji Youyan.

This knot had lingered in her heart for many years and could not let go. At first she thought that Ji Yooyan was not in love and waited for her to break up. Later, she thought that Ji Yooyan was tired and didn't want to be together. After all, love is one thing, and whether it's suitable for being together is another.

"Have you believed the reason why I was late that year?" Ji Youyan said with a bitter smile.

Jing Xiu's lips moaned, unable to deceive Ji Yuyan.

She fell from a high altitude that year, thinking that she was going to die, and vomited blood before going into a coma and made the only phone call-to Ji Youyan.

It was Ji Yooyan’s assistant who said that it was not convenient to answer the phone because Ji Yooyan was shooting.

She was so slurred with pain that she couldn't even say a complete sentence of "I miss you so much". It was Yao Xiao who couldn't see it and cried beside her to help her convey the news that she had an accident and Ji Yuyan was coming back soon.

Before she completely lost consciousness, Yao Xiao was still encouraging her, sister, don't sleep, sister, cheer up, sister Ji will be back soon, sister...

She listened. Although it hurts, she thinks she must wake up. She hasn't seen Yanyan for a long time.

But she woke up hard and looked around, but still didn't see the person she wanted to see most.

Her mother saw through the look she was looking for, and told her that Ji Yuyan had lost her passport and the embassy was closed on weekends, so she stayed in Italy.

What a coincidence.

Just like the coincidence that she had no time on a date but had time to have dinner with the gossip subject; like the coincidence that she always had a job on the anniversary of her love; like the coincidence that her car broke down halfway through zero on her birthday before returning.

This time is a coincidence that Ji Yuyan arrived at the hospital safely and in a low-key manner after the media on the fifth day was gradually brought under control.

"You haven't believed it, haven't you." Ji Youyan was affirmative.

Jing Xun looked at the self-deprecating on her face, and her throat was choking. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm..."

Ji Yooyan lowered his head against her and said, "I don't blame you, but I used to hide too much from you and made you lose trust in me."

"My passport was really lost. In other words, I didn't realize until I turned my face with Wang Junchan. She should have lost my passport on purpose."

She was shooting an advertisement in Italy that year. At noon, the assistant received news of Jing Xuan's accident, but Wang Junchan suppressed the news, and she didn't tell her until she finished shooting completely in the evening.

Like five thunderbolts, Ji Yuyan shook his body and almost rolled down the steps. It had been eight hours since Jing Xiu called.

She wanted to go back insane. Wang Junchan said that she had booked the plane for her in two and a half hours. She trembled and dialed Jingxun's number, and the phone was connected, and it was Jiang Chun.

Jiang Chun said that Jing Xiu was undergoing an operation and her condition was not very good, so she asked where she was. She broke her liver, panicked, anxious and powerless, crying and replied that Jiang Chun himself was still on his way to the airport. Jiang Chun was silent for several seconds before telling her the address of the hospital again.

Ji Youyan heard Jiang Chun's silent dissatisfaction and doubt from Jiang Chun's silence. As the first person to know, eight hours later, she was still on the way to the airport. How ridiculous.

She also found herself ridiculous. She blushed and blamed Wang Junchan for not telling her, but Wang Junchan was also plausible. She asked Ji Yooyan what he knew at the time, and left the half-shot commercial for nothing? What about liquidated damages? What to do next? What to do from now on? Besides, she also checked the ticket for the first time and found that the flight was switched back and forth, and the final arrival time was no more than three or two hours away. She weighed and weighed this decision.

What to do from now on? Without Jingxuan, what's next. She yelled at Wang Junan.

When Wang Junchan saw that she was so broken, he apologized to her comfortingly.

But finally, when the boarding pass was changed, the assistant told her that the passport was lost.

Ji Youyan's sky was completely dark. She ran around the airport like a madman, leaving all her decent, crying and noisy begging Wang Junchan, ground work, police, embassy security...

But it's the weekend, the embassy is not working, and the visa cannot be repaid. Wang Junan said there was no way.

On Sunday, they finally asked the embassy to open an emergency channel, specially processed her visa, so that she could catch her return journey home.

During the time I was waiting, every minute and every second was suffering.

She finally arrived at the hospital where Jing Xiu was, both human and ghost, and was stopped by Jing Shurong on the aisle near the ward.

Jing Shurong said he wanted to talk to her.

Jing Shurong bluntly stated that she and Jing Xuan were not suitable, and hoped that she could carefully consider this relationship with Jing Xuan again.

She said that Jingxuan hadn't been happy for a long time, and the family psychologist said after an assessment that Jingxun's mental health is very bad and he should consider psychological intervention. Jing Shurong is quite sure that the cause of Jing Xiu's heart disease is the unbalanced relationship between her and Ji Yooyan-Jing Xiu loves too deeply and too selflessly, and Ji Yoon loves too shallow and too selfishly.

She asked Ji Yuyan, if we are so unhappy together, is it necessary to continue and torture each other?

Ji Yuyan hadn't closed his eyes for a few days and nights and slept well, and he managed to get to the hospital entirely by will. She was so dizzy that she couldn't think, and she was wondering, why doesn't she love Jingxun enough? Is it wrong for her to want to be better? Why do they look at themselves with colored eyes?

She was very unconvinced, very unwilling. She didn't want to let go of Jingxun and didn't want to lose her.

But she pushed open the door of the ward, and saw the weak and dying Jing Xiu on the bed, the string in her mind that was stretched to the limit broke. She couldn't deceive herself anymore. Self-blame, distress, and self-rejection drowned her heart.

It was she who tortured the brilliant and dazzling girl into this way.

It was her incompetent rubbish, humble like an ant but unwilling to be mediocre that hurt Jing Xuan.

She is not good enough for Jing Xuan.

※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※

It's actually sweet. Sincere face.jpg