My kaleidoscope pupil technique is dark blue with dots

Chapter 60 The mask that cannot be taken off! Sarutobi Hiruzen: I regret your shadow

Author: Xinyuan

Chapter 60 The mask that cannot be taken off! Sarutobi Hiruzen: I regret your shadow

"Give me the cigarette first! Sorry to bother you!"

Upon hearing Dai Renyi's question, Sarutobi Hiruzen, who had already patted his clothes and got up from the ground, smiled and made a gesture of lighting up his pipe at him.

Darenyi laughed and threw the pipe and tobacco box on the table next to him.

Sarutobi Hiruzen reached out to take it, skillfully lit it and took a big sip. His wrinkled old face that was originally filled with pain instantly relaxed, and he let out a long sigh of happiness.

After squinting his eyes and enjoying it for a moment, he raised his head and seriously recalled his mental journey. It was probably the first time that he spoke out everything in his heart without reservation:

"I am not a human god like the first Hokage. I am just a mortal. I cannot perfectly realize all my wishes, nor can I protect everyone.

As a result, when facing difficult situations, I can only make my own choices between bad and worse again and again;

Sacrificing innocent people to safeguard the interests of the majority is of course unfair to the victims.

For example, the Uzumaki clan who could not wait for Konoha's powerful rescue, the Uchiha clan who were innocently killed, and many others,

But as Hokage, in order to avoid accidents and worsen the situation, I, with limited abilities, must make the most conservative and least bad choice.

Just like ordinary people, of course they all want to spend more time with their families, take good care of their children, and fulfill their responsibilities as a wife, husband, and parent.

But many times they can't do it. In order to live and make money to support their families, they have to be busy and disappear all day long.

Of course their wives, husbands, and children will be resentful and dissatisfied with them, but there is nothing we can do about it. This in itself is a rational and painful choice."

Having said this, Sarutobi Hiruzen paused for a moment and noticed the sarcastic expression on Dai Renyi's face. He blushed, smiled coquettishly, and added:

"At least at first, that's what I thought!

At that time, I treated every choice very carefully and made it after careful consideration.

In fact, every time, with deep guilt and self-blame for the innocent victims, I reluctantly chose to give up on them.

Every choice makes me extremely painful, and then, then..."

"Then what?"

While listening, Darenyi took out a pen and paper and took notes carefully, recording everything down.

Sarutobi Hiruzen's face trembled. Could this guy be planning to publish my confession record?

Although he was worried that he might be "publicly executed", at the same time, there were many things that Hiruzen Sarutobi had been holding back in his heart since he had reached his current situation.

Shaking his head, Sarutobi Hiruzen continued, revealing the darkness in his heart that he had been deliberately avoiding and unwilling to face:

"…Then, I got used to the pain, and I slowly became numb and indifferent.

The pain that was once real has become insensible. I have become accustomed to the position of Hokage, and I can no longer feel the pain of the victim.

I acted out my sympathy and helplessness towards them, but my heart gradually became indifferent.

The appearance of kindness and tolerance turned into a mask on my face, a hypocritical and formulaic performance.

While acting out my sympathy for them, my own pain and helplessness, I have become accustomed to it.

At the same time, he skillfully pushed them off the cliff. Slowly, it seemed that no one was expendable!

Whether it is the village hero Konoha White Fang or the innocent child Uzumaki Naruto,

Especially after Danzo and his roots appeared, when I blamed myself even more, I had a reason to shirk responsibility.

At first, Danzo made a mistake without telling me. I was shocked and angry, but I couldn't bear to deal with him harshly.

To others, he's a callous bastard, but to me,

But they are the best friends I grew up with, teammates who share life and death. On the battlefield, we have entrusted our lives to each other countless times.

So, I forgave him once,

Then, I couldn't help but forgive him for the second and third time...

Later, I began to quietly enjoy the benefits that his selfishness brought to me. Danzo took the initiative to realize all my dark and selfish thoughts for me.

Because I didn't do it, I can deceive myself that I am a good person!

So, while I blamed him on the surface, I actually condoned him.

Countless times, I looked in the mirror and told myself that those dark things were not my fault, they were all caused by Danzo's unauthorized decisions!

I'm not that kind of person, everything is Danzo's fault...

Then, I can walk into the sunshine with peace of mind, enjoy the stability and prosperity brought by the sacrifices, and put all the honors on my head."

Sarutobi Hiruzen was lost in thought as he spoke. As a big smoker, he was not aware of the burnt out pipe in his hand at this time.

"... Once a mask is worn for a long time, it will grow on the face and cannot be taken off again.

In fact, later on, even I couldn’t explain clearly what kind of person I was!

In the process of compromising little by little with reality, friends, and selfishness, and indulging again and again,

I have become something I could never have imagined when I was a teenager!

Once, I thought I could always maintain my original intention. I felt that wearing a hypocritical mask was just a temporary compromise. I was arrogant and thought that I would not change.

But in fact, it's all an illusion...

Please tell Naruto that he defeated me, defeated me,

Then, never be me again!

For mistakes like the Third Hokage Sarutobi Hiruzen, one in Konoha is enough."

Darenyi put away the paper filled with notes that had been "processed and polished" by himself, and gave him a thumbs up:

"Your error cases are very convincing and valuable,

It is very suitable as an important reference material that every future Hokage of Konoha must read before officially taking the throne.

Please rest assured that your story will be known to everyone and your mistakes will last forever!"

"Uh...that would be perfect!"

Sarutobi Hiruzen couldn't laugh or cry, he rubbed his hands in embarrassment, feeling a sense of social embarrassment, and then he laughed freely and happily,

If you fail in life like him, before it comes to an end, you can provide a life reference for future Hokages.

He would be satisfied if he eliminated one wrong choice for them.

"Okay, let's go! I want to have a good sleep!"

Stretching his somewhat stooped waist, Sarutobi Hiruzen felt a sense of relief as he completely let go of everything.

"Last question, I'll leave after asking it,"

There was a smile on Dai Renyi's face that Sarutobi Hiruzen couldn't understand. Although he couldn't understand it, Sarutobi Hiruzen felt a sense of malice inexplicably.

"If you are not defeated, then when do you think you will reflect on your life? Will you be wrong forever?"

(End of chapter)