My Pick Up Artist System

With Camila's Mexican flag, Ben believed he still had a chance to get his soldierin' arm of special forces...

Otherwise, he feared he might experience some sudden side-effects from the bloodline concoction, also known as Hulk-raging in his room...

To Ben's surprise though, that thought improved his mood even further. The reason was that he realized he possessed a blessing from a long time ago. It was that no matter how disappointed he became, it could never be worse than that time after watching the two recent stand-alone Hulk movies.

…

Smiling like a man with nothing to lose…Ben navigated to his flags screen, where he saw a new Mexican flag, radiating light.

"That is fuego…"

Smirking, and with a goal in mind, he went ahead and summoned Willy.

*Woosh*

As the big black disco ball materialized, looking like it came from a John Travolta party...Ben made some distance. Putting his hands up, he got ready to punch, c.o.c.king one fist back, as a potential counterc*ck to any unexpected c*ck…

He'd even spent an afternoon earlier watching old episodes of Hajime no Ippo in preparation…

Yet, this time, by the time Willy finished expanding and became a wheel, there were no unwelcome jizzitors…

With the threat gone, Ben exhaled and put his arms down. Rubbing his hands together, he even considered which arm he should sacrifice to the spirit of fapping…

'Most people would keep their dominant arm if offered this blessing...

That's the rational choice since they could continue doing all their daily activities without a problem, but those people are sheep!

…

If I sacrifice my dominant right arm, I'll have not only a sensation-less metallic arm but also a left arm that can count as half an outsider…

Hence, not only will it be like someone else is stroking my salami...but I can also use the left hand to get that partial stranger sensation when playing with my schnutz!'

...

Ben smirked, knowing his rare scientific wisdom was the kind that one would gain only after years of experimentation in the lapratory...and once or twice, in the lavatory…

Having decided, he approached Willy, grabbed the lever, and spun!

*Whirrr*

Ben stared hard at the wheel, trying to wish his desire into reality. "Come on! I want it so give it to me! Just a metal arm!"

…

"Okay, I'll take a forearm!"

…

"All right, just a hand!"

…

"Give me a thumb and an index--I'll make it work!"

…

A short while later, the wheel stopped spinning, with the arrow landing on…a drawing of a piece of grass.

Ben frowned. "That doesn't look like the pony I asked for…"

*Plop*

Then, when Willy disappeared, the only thing remaining was a white book on the floor, making Ben's eye twitch…

'No, calm down. I've never seen a white book before. It might be something even better than what I wanted.' He tried being optimistic, even though he couldn't fathom such an item…

With an open mind and one flesh arm too many...he walked over and picked up the book.

[Weak Grass Manipulation(Skill Book, Trash) x1]

…

"Trash tier?"

Ben's arm shook as a vein pulsed in his forehead…

…

'No, before judging, I should check the skill description first.'

[Weak Grass Manipulation(Skill, Trash) - Tiny telekinetic control over one blade of grass. Useless in every way imaginable]

"I see…"

He lifted the book above his head…and threw it on the ground!

"I won't be part of your system!"

...

Ben didn't understand! "I was sending out the mental vibrations! Positive energy! How come I didn't get it? It was supposed to work! How else did The Secret sell 30 million copies?!?'

…

Five minutes later, after pacing around his room, Ben released a long exhale, because he managed to find a silver lining in the garbage-tier grass skill... 'I shouldn't be so quick to judge. There are no trash skills, only trash people…'

Picking the book back up, he tried to console himself that the system might be under-valuing the ability. 'After all, who believed moonlight sculpting would be useful?'

…

He nodded. 'It could be just like that. This ability might seem like garbage. Yet, there's some chance the system re-arranged the rational laws of physics, so moonlight becomes tangible matter to use as a weapon…or grass becomes stronger than steel…"

Doing such a thing seemed absurd and Ben couldn't help but wonder at the cost-benefit of it all...

Even so! He spread a newfound smile full of hope!

[Would you like to learn Weak Grass Manipulation(Skill, Trash)?]

After confirming, the book soon turned into a ball of light, and with him not having let his guard down, it flew towards his forehead, entering his hot tub of consciousness.

…

Ten minutes later…Ben was outside in the park, kneeling down on the grass under the bright sky. The smell of the freshly-cut lawn filled his nose as the soft ground cushioned his legs. It made him feel like he was the king, who after many years away, returned home at last, to the love and adoration of his grass citizens. Ben even felt an unfamiliar affection for his subjects as he stared at a single blade of grass. "You gonna f*cking dance for me, wench?"

...

After learning the skill, the result was like other active skills in that he possessed a new method to activate it mentally. In this case, If he focused on a blade of grass, he sensed that he could form a spiritual connection with it. 'Obey me, and I will grow you into the strongest grass-type Pokemon…'

Choosing in his mind to form the connection, Ben felt it lock on, and he proceeded to squint hard at the leaf of grass, as he sent a telekinetic command. 'Move…'

Yet, even after tried several times, he didn't observe a difference. 'Maybe I'm not focusing hard enough?'

Twenty minutes and a minor headache later… 'MOVE YOUR FLAT ASS!'

...

Ben was gnashing his teeth, because the grass still wasn't budging! 'It can't be like this!'

Disbelieving the system would lie to him about the skill, he dropped on his belly, bringing his face so close that it was almost touching the grass. 'Move! Move! Don't lay there like a dead fish!'

His eyes became bloodshot! His hands gripped the dirt! And at that moment, he gasped! 'It moved!'

...

After a moment of surprise, he tried it again. 'It moved again!'

Success! It worked! Telekinetic powers were at his disposal!

He'd achieved his desired outcome, and yet, Ben was frowning...

*Author's Note: Happy New Year's! Please don't forget to vote for more chapters to start off 2021!