My Pick Up Artist System

As if saying 'Don't shoot!', The barber lifted his hands in the air proclaiming innocence. "Son, I can cut it. I'm just sayin' all I can do is make it shorter or shave it off. Cutting only the sides short or somethin' like that...I don't see that workin' for you. As for Straightening it...."

He shook his head. "You'd have to keep doing it with chemicals all the time. It'll be like tryna' hide a boner, that thing's gonna pop right back up..." He demonstrated by firing a high uppercut like Ryu's Shoryuken...

Ben had enough. "Fine! Just trim it and clean it up." This haircut wasn't shortening Ben's hair as much as his confidence…

He already knew his hair was tough to control. In any case, he wasn't willing to be a monk baldy, and he didn't mind his curly mane. 'I can use an unusual hairstyle to peac.o.c.k too right?'

Over the next 15 minutes, the barber shortened Ben's hair and made it look cleaner. Now, Ben looked more like a young Justin Timberlake than Bob Ross.

Antonio gave a thumbs up in the mirror. "Not bad cuz!"

Ben looked at his reflection and touched his head. He smiled because it came out pretty well.

They left the barbershop and walked along the street.

"Aight. Next up, let's get you some new threads," Antonio said.

Ben's face remained stoic. 'Hair is one thing, but taking fashion advice from this guy? He suggested I wear a propeller hat the other day.' Ben shivered at the thought.

Antonio stopped and grinned. He pointed to a shop. "That's the spot that's gonna step your game up!"

The shop sign read, "Wacky Willy's T-shirt Emporium."

Ben looked at Antonio, whose eyes glistened like a Viking warrior entering Valhalla. Then Ben glanced at the t-shirt Antonio wore today. It said, "I shaved my balls for this."

...

Ben narrowed his eyes. 'Is that even a joke? More of a comment really...' He exhaled with exhaustion. Then, he noticed that next door there was a popular men's clothing store he'd seen commercials for. A few of the more popular guys at his university also wore this brand. "No, let's go there instead."

Antonio shook his head. 'This kid's starting point was too low. He can't appreciate authentic style yet.'

With the advice of a sales clerk, and ignoring every word out of Antonio's mouth, Ben bought some decent clothes at last. They weren't anything special. All came from the bargain rack because that's all he could afford, but they were much higher quality than almost everything he owned.

When checking out, Ben frowned because the purchase ate up a big part of his credit card balance...but he soon relaxed when he realized something--poor credit didn't follow after death! 'I found a loophole!'

Credit card agencies hated him...

Ben didn't care, he strutted his stuff at the register! Too bad for them! It was the limitation of a system that only tracked the body. Ben looked at the helmeted guy on his American Express card. 'Lolumad? …Don't be a b*tch.' Ben smirked. 'You can't blame me. If you're salty, then invent the soulcial security number.'

He headed for imminent death, but Ben discovered the positive point of obliteration!

What was looking at the bright side? This was f*cking looking at the bright side!

If nothing else, Ben was now an optimist. Free money!

He'd need a job if he survived, but Ben reveled in being a student maxing out his credit cards!

What was destroying his credit? This was f*cking destroying his credit!

If nothing else, a man on death row was a spendthrift. Ben's last meal!

8 years later, a hero with fresh credit would be reborn!

***

While walking out wearing one of the outfits, Ben froze in the middle of the sidewalk when he received a system alert. He ignored the complaints of the passing pedestrians and his eyes became bright! He even stopped breathing! 'Is that what I think it is?!?' He opened his stats.

[Looks: 6 - Above average looks. You might turn a head or two…at a retirement home]

'Snort. Maybe I like mature women, so I'll take that as a compliment. Try harder if you want to take the wind out of these sails!' Despite putting on a brave front, it still hurt him a little. To Ben, the system was like an Asian tiger parent, who was also military, who was also the leader of an aristocratic family. A small part of him wanted to scream, 'Nothing's ever good enough for you! All I've ever wanted was your acceptance!'

However, Ben shook it off. He agreed with the rest of society in the best way to deal with psychological issues--bury them deep down until they explode...

It wasn't mental health awareness month, so who had time to deal with that when they could glorify material gains? Ben lived in the now! So he celebrated his new looks stat!

6! Not long ago, he was a 2! Rounded up!

Even his parents would do a double-take if they saw him now. What a change! Ben emerged from his cocoon and became a butterfly! A slightly above average looking butterfly!

It was a little at a time, but he was evolving into a different person. 'Tonight…I'm going to flutter my wings.' Ben gazed up at the sky for a long while…Then, while staring, he realized something. 'No homo…'