My Pick Up Artist System

"It's not who I am underneath, but what I do that defines me." Ben stood at a dark street corner peering at a massive warehouse filled with delinquency, debauchery, and Euro electronic music. His Batman mask hid his genuine identity, protecting him and his loved ones from the repercussions of whatever vile deeds he might have to commit next. The dark knight was looking for a dark nut.

The warehouse was an S&M fetish club he found online. One with a dress code. Ben didn't have any metal or latex so he went with the normie alternative of black. The costume shop Batman mask cherried his black shirt and coat. He couldn't afford the full bat-n.i.p.p.l.e suit, which showed he was not born in the darkness, but merely adopted by it. He hoped it wouldn't cost him.

It was a party that only happened once a week or once a month, so with only a few days remaining until his deadline, he needed answers. He came to see if the system would classify this place as a dungeon. If so, he might gain unexpected benefits again.

Ben approached the front entrance, a dark tunnel leading to a stairwell. At the end, there were several huge security guards on the stairs above and a sole doorman below, who wore an armband that read, "DM."

Ben's eyebrows lifted. 'Wow…there's a dungeon master here. So this really might be like Domina…'

"Hey, you're the DM?" Ben asked.

"That's right," the man answered.

'I didn't run into a DM at Domina...Maybe there are some hidden options I can explore with this guy,' Ben thought. "Can I pick my class and race with you?"

The man was silent for a few seconds. "DM stands for dungeon monitor, not dungeon master…" Then He narrowed his eyes. "Damn it, not another Dungeons and Dragons beast hunter!"

'Beast hunter?' Ben blinked.

The man glared at him. "Are you here to f*ck orcs?!?"

…

The DM looked up at security. "Hey! We've got another orc f*cker! Get him out of here!"

Ben shook his head in a hurry. "No, no! I don't f*ck orcs!"

At this, the man paused and scrutinized Ben. "You swear you won't go juggernaut?"

"...I swear!"

The DM relaxed as if nothing happened. "Good. This isn't that kind of party. That's next week."

'Hopefully, by next week, I'll either be dead or far from here…' Ben went through the entry process before making his way up the stairs.

***

When Ben walked out of the stairwell, the first room that opened to him featured a long dark bar. It didn't look too different from Domina, with some decorations but nothing crazy. However, by now he was sure of one thing which disappointed him: the system didn't recognize this club as a dungeon.

He hadn't received any alerts. 'So if it wasn't the S&M theme that made Domina a dungeon, what was it?' For now, Ben didn't have any good ideas. Since he was already here, he decided to not waste his night and explore the place instead. If lucky, he'd find some beauties with daddy issues or Batman issues...

There were a few guests and staff scattered about. Ben walked to the bar and ordered a ginger-ale from the bartender.

"Hey, how you doin'?" A man's voice came from Ben's right.

Ben turned to see a young man with medium-length parted black hair with blonde highlights. He wore a glossy black polyester dress shirt with black plastic spikes on the shoulders. His outfit screamed, "Don't touch me! But keep touching me though…"

This wasn't the type of character Ben would associate with under normal circ.u.mstances, but a second ago, a man in a full black latex suit with a zipper on his mouth passed by, so Ben was in desperate need of allies... "Fine…"

"Name's Leon. Your first time?"

"…How could you tell?"

"You're wearing a Batman costume…"

"Right. How about you? I see you're not drinking."

Leon's head tilted downward and his face became slack. "I'm on time out."

"…What?"

"I've been a bad dog…"

That's when Ben noticed a leash hanging from Leon's neck on the opposite side facing him. It was at that moment he realized nothing in this place was as simple as it seemed. He took a closer look around.

There were two signs on the bar wall.

"No smoking."

"No finger-banging."

…

He spotted a third one by the liquor bottles.

"No squirting near the drinks."

…

'Time to move!' Ben had already walked away from the bar, leaving his untouched ginger-ale. As he left, he heard Leon's whimpers fading into the distance.

*Arf* *Arf*

***

Walking through the warehouse, Ben felt relief when he could no longer hear Leon. Yet, as he walked further in, he realized he'd made a huge mistake. Without knowing, he'd left the newbie zone, arriving in an area that made the squirt-bar look like heaven on Earth, but some places are much easier to enter than leave. That's when Ben started to listen for those dog whimpers like a lost boat seeking a lighthouse.

A pity. We don't appreciate what we have until it's gone.