My Pick Up Artist System

[Target's current attraction level: attracted(+1)]

[Target's current comfort level: acquaintance(+1)]

'It was a good move accusing her of liking Rachel from Tower of God…' Ben was becoming experienced in the artform of teasing. He'd come a long way from accusing people of being Hitler...

Meanwhile, Katie leaned against the shelf of anime, pouting.

'Now that the attraction's high enough, it's time to work more on comfort.' Ben led Katie over to the cafe where they could sit down and talk in a more intimate setting. They arrived at an oval arrangement of black leather sofas, where 90s music was playing. The smell of coffee floated through the air.

The presence of sofas was another reason Ben chose this location. Beluga told him that sofas were helpful for building comfort. Sitting side by side allowed for easier touching, and thus the building of kino and comfort as a result. It was a fact that almost every man was ignorant of.

'If I think about it, it's hard to remember any sit-down date I've seen in movies, tv, or anywhere where the couple wasn't sitting on opposite sides of a table.' Ben realized he was ahead of the game. As he scanned for the best seats, he felt a sudden extra weight on his right side. Glancing over, he discovered Katie had jumped on him, and was holding his arm tight for protection as she stared at something.

Following her gaze, he saw a bearded middle-aged man leaving the cafe. Turning back to Katie, Ben couldn't help but appreciate her cute fearful expression. He liked the feeling of his arm between her comfy b.r.e.a.s.ts even more...but he didn't understand what worked her up. "What's the matter? Do you know him?"

She shook her head, then looked down. "No, I…It's embarrassing…"

"You can tell me anything," he reassured her. 'Except that my story just gained a gender bender tag…'

Ben showed her a considerate expression, but then turned away when he remembered something important. 'I.n.c.e.s.t would be even worse…because not only would few publishers accept it as a novel…but it would never be made into a movie because there's already Oldboy…and Hollywood even farted out a remake…'

He twisted back to Katie, encouraging her with a warm smile and a light nod to continue telling him her sensitive story, before spinning away again because he recalled an even more crucial detail... 'Didn't the Oldboy remake have Thanos f*cking Scarlet Witch???'

…

'Really, that could've been a Wandavision reality warp...' Ben gasped. From that day forward, the Marvel Universe was spun on its head with novel fan theories…

A few seconds later, Ben coughed. "Katie, You were in the middle of telling me something that seemed very important to you…" Ben didn't mean to be insensitive to Katie but this was serious canon business he was dealing with...

After some hesitation, Katie nodded and told Ben of her private matter. "I have a fear…it's called pogonophobia."

Ben blinked. "A fear of pogo sticks?"

She pinched his shoulder. "Tch, don't be ridiculous…"

Ben chuckled. "I guess that would be silly."

"It's a fear of beards…"

…

Ben's face froze mid-chuckle… "U wot m8?"

Katie released his arm and stared at her feet as her face flushed.

He sought clarity. "As in Blackbeard? …Bluebeard? …Or Jim Carrey beard?"

"...Just, any beard…even a five o'clock shadow makes me fidgety…"

Before making a judgment, Ben always tried to consider the positive side. 'At least I'll never have to worry about her cuckolding me for a wizard…'

Satisfied having eliminated some powerful competitors, since he was still in the middle of a date with this girl, Ben took a few seconds to process this information properly. 'If I really think about, it'll be tough for lots of lumberjacks and grandpas to swoop in too…'

Despite his analysis, Ben wasn't sure the proper way to respond to this reveal. "I'm sorry for your loss…"

He realized that didn't sound right and tried again. "I mean, that seems tough. How do you uh…survive?"

Now that the bearded middle-aged man left, Katie loosened up. "It's not bad as long as I'm not right next to those critters…they just give me the nerv."

'Critters…Does she think beards are gremlins?'

Katie returned to her usual self. "It's one reason I like trottin' around the manga and anime stuff, it's a younger crowd, a beard-free safe zone…"

'Will I get bonus points if I tell her I manscape? …No, let's not risk it, better to change the subject.' Ben brought Katie to sit down side by side with him on a sofa. They ordered some drinks and began conversing about more intimate topics.

He learned that Katie used to be unattractive, or at least that's what she believed. She was flat-chested and her facial birthmark always made her self-conscious. Then she went through a growth spurt.

Ben decoded this information. 'She evolved into her final form…'

"One summer, I just rocketed out of my cocoon."

Ben showed the smile of a thoughtful listener. 'Lol, C*ck…ok, come on Ben, you're not 12…'

"Then I turned into a butterfly."

He patted her back in encouragement. 'Butt…'

Ben sipped his coffee. 'Now that I've met the daily juvenile quota to feed my inner demon…I should get serious. She really seems like a nice girl I'd like to know better.' They chatted as he continued doing kino, building her comfort.

[Target's current comfort level: familiar(+1)]

After a while, he placed his arm over the back of her seat, establishing dominance and making his intentions known. This led Katie to opening up even further. She told him how she dated someone in high school for a long time. He was also an anime fan, but he dumped her because he said she'd never be as good as 2D girls…

…

Katie gazed at Ben with a vulnerable expression, seeking reassurance as she leaned against him, squeezing her meaty melons against his arm…but he only returned a vacant stare. 'Sorry baby, Otaku Bible, Keima 16:12 - Thou shalt not slander 2d goddesses…'

…

When Katie removed her funbags from his arm and returned to her story, Ben breathed a sigh of relief in his mind. 'I ain't no rat…but every man has his limit of titty temptation…'

"I lost confidence after that… cause there's no way I can ever be like one of those girls…" she looked down and rubbed her thighs for self-comfort.

Ben thought of something. 'She's wrong. If I don't die tomorrow, and my biography becomes a best seller, a webcomic adaptation wouldn't be impossible… '

…

Though, he wasn't sure if he should tell her. 'On second thought, I better not get her hopes up… Unless my life turns into mindless wish-fulfillment soon, it'll be tough to sway the masses…'

Then, he envisioned a potential win-win situation. While remembering his plan for his next move to get Katie to his dorm room, he glanced at her large b.r.e.a.s.ts and full lips. 'Katie, this needs to be a team effort. I can't do fan-service by myself, so our 2D future is all up to you now…'