My Pick Up Artist System

00:39:57

'Please, God…system…anyone…give me something that'll save me…' Ben prayed harder than he ever had in his entire life.

Soon, as the light from the mystery box disappeared, the result of all his praying laid before him.

The fear of possible disappointment and resulting damnation weighed on Ben's eyelids, making it difficult to lift them, but he had no choice.

Ben opened his eyes and gazed upon it...his last chance.

There, on his lap, was a piece of blank white paper in a clear plastic folder…

His face turned white when he saw its useless appearance…but with a trace of hope still in his heart, he opened its system description.

When he read it, he gasped…staring a long time at the item without breathing…

What arrived was what he needed, the item of his dreams…and also his nightmares…

[Blackmailer's Magic Evidence(Item, Rare) - Choose a target and the doc.u.ment will morph into one showing proof of their most vile deed. Can only transform once, taking permanent form once used. A handy item for extortion.]

…

Ben swallowed. His first instinctual thought was, 'How is this any different from r*pe? Would this even work to clear the challenge?'

As if the system was waiting for this, she answered him. She clarified that as long as he gave the target a choice whether to comply with his request or not, that would satisfy the condition of seduction. Ben would live…

…

He stared at the magic doc.u.ment…

A short while later, he laughed…

A wide grin spread on his face. "Thank you!" he said, with a hint of sarcasm.

Ben's laughter echoed in the room, as if he couldn't control it...

Yet, as the seconds passed, his laughter became more and more bitter…

"You give this to me now…right at this moment…when I'm at my weakest?" He held his face as an even louder bout of laughter reverberated through the room…

'She's really going to force me to do this...' Ben thought it was so funny...the timing...the circ.u.mstances...everything…

Then, he caught sight of his mother's photo again, and became quiet…gazing at it...

After a while, he gritted his teeth...

He turned and gazed at the item he held in his hands. Ben opened his mouth, wanting to say something…but the words wouldn't come out…

His lips quivered, but his tongue wouldn't move...

Ben wanted to scream, "No f.u.c.k.i.n.g way!"

He wanted to rip this paper into pieces!

He wanted to throw it in the system's face!

But then, he thought about his mother's face...

How it would look when she received the call--the call that they found his body...

He thought about his father's...

He thought about...how his death would destroy them...

And he looked at the clock counting down...

00:34:11

00:34:10

00:34:09

Holding the item in his hands, Ben started shaking...

00:33:58

He heard a buzzing in his ears...

00:33:49

His vision went white…

00:33:37

It was a panic attack.

...

00:33:12

Gasping, Ben clung to the bed so he wouldn't lose consciousness, but the time kept ticking down…

00:32:39

He could breathe now. But still felt trapped...

00:32:08

As if the room's air was dwindling...

00:31:52

As if he was dying...

00:31:34

As if already dead...

00:31:19

Ben stared at the ground...

00:31:07

"I can't do it..."

00:30:38

"I have to do it..."

00:30:13

"PLEASE DON'T DO IT!!!"

00:29:59

When the clock dropped below half an hour, his knees crashed to the ground…

*Drop*

*Drop*

*Drop*

Tears began to slide down his cheeks...pooling on the floor...flooding the room...drowning him...

He dropped the item, and held his face, weeping…

…

A system notification arrived.

[Manliness: 4(-1)(3+1) - Real men don't cry]

"F*CK YOU!!!"

Ben launched himself at the blue system screen!

But he only flew through it, tumbling and smashing his back against the wall on the other side of the room…

"AAAHHHH!" His eyes turned red as he shot up, throwing his chair at the wall, then lurching at his desk! Swiping anything he saw! Clawing! Smashing! Destroying everything! Ending everything!

***

A while later, Ben was on the floor, his back leaning against his destroyed desk…the remnants of his previous life in tatters…

His eyes…lifeless…the eyes of a corpse…

…

…

…

00:24:50

Then, a glimmer of light emerged in his eyes…because he saw something on the floor next to his hand.

It was the smashed photo frame of his family, the glass shattered. the picture hanging out.

Still, he saw his mother's face there…

'I'm sorry…' He wanted to tell her that he fought hard, that he did everything he could, that he was a good man...

But he knew it would be a lie...

He wasn't a good man. He was just a weak boy. The same useless boy that left his home a month ago with nothing but dreams for the future, with no clue how to achieve them, and only the will to try...

'What's that…' Ben noticed a folded up paper behind the photo...

Curious, he reached his hand through the broken glass. Without a second thought to cutting up his fingers, he picked up the paper and glanced at it…

It was a flyer…

"Do you want me in a bowl or pita bread?"

"Guacamole is extra."

"Eat me if you want diarrhea."

Signed, "Wet Dirty Burrito King."

…

It had been a long month and Ben forgot all about this. It was from his first day of university, when everyone around bullied him, the lowest point in his life…

He only remembered being angry when he saved this copy back then, not even recalling why he did it. Maybe it was to remind himself of something, maybe it was for no reason at all, but he saved it…

As he stared at the paper, Ben realized something...something he'd forgotten...

Soon, he started laughing again…

His laughter became louder and louder, even more deafening than it was before, except now, there was no trace of bitterness in it…

"Those burrito lines were pretty funny actually…" Ben released a few more chuckles. Then, he wiped his face with his sleeve...and rose off the ground...

Standing short once again...

He leaned his head back and released a deep exhale into the air above... "What was I even complaining about?" He smirked and shook his head. "I'm not the same as I was then…Not even close…My life's never been better…"

Ben's eyes…were full of life again!

He picked up the blackmail item and held it in his hand… Staring at it…

"I won't live how anyone tells me to live..."

...

"Or die how anyone tells me to die..."

...

"Whether I have nothing...or everything...that'll never change..."

...

"So you can go ahead and try to f*cking kill me..."

...

"But I'll be living my way...no matter what happens..."

...

"And I'm not giving up..."

...

Ben threw the blackmail item into the corner without a second glance…

Then, he cleaned himself up and got ready to go out, preparing to fight until the last second.

Before he left the room, another alert arrived.

[Manliness: 5(+1)(4+1) - Good luck. Don't cry again]

…

Ben snorted. 'She has pretty thick skin…'

As he prepared to walk out the door, he took a last glance at the system clock.

00:19:50

'Whether I've been unlucky or not, after all my effort, if I still can't get this done, then I'll accept my failure...and my death... I'll keep fighting until the last moment, and that's enough for me… But I know I can't rely on the system. In the end, everything's going to depend on me alone, nothing else. I don't need help from any damn items...'

A few minutes later…

Ben was at the front of his dormitory with 12 lucky cloves in his mouth...

…

He was smoking the whole pack at once...

When he stepped outside and looked at the countdown, he decided to settle for the greater good…

'A real man knows when to take a step back...'

Ben rationalized it while green fog covered his head like Mysterio hotboxing his helmet…

…

Despite his newfound "independence," as someone who knew his strengths, Ben sweet-talked the system to get on her good side again. 'Damn girl…your lucky cloves smell and taste so good baby...'

…

'So be a star this one time... Give daddy a fate/stay night situation and summon S.l.u.tius Maximus...'

...

00:14:42

Time was ticking down, but soon the Holy Grail summoned Ben's servant...

*Tap* *Tap*

The tapping of high heels rang out down the city street, catching Ben's attention. He turned and stared at an approaching silhouette in the distance...

Tall...long blonde hair...skimpy red dress...long legs...

Ben swallowed. 'Yes...these lucky cloves never fail...' He had a feeling this was his destined delivery. The timing was too perfect.

'I'm the MC after all. No way I'll die here. Here she comes. Watch as I'm saved by my plot p*ssy...'

...

As the distance to the fated meeting shortened, the interval between Ben's heartbeats shortened as well.

Soon, he was face to face with his chosen partner...

That's when Ben spun 180 because it was a man, baby!!!

...

As Ben's "fated partner" kept walking, he grimaced and cursed the Holy Grail for summoning a transvestite. 'No one wants Berserker!!!'

...

*Screech*

Still recovering from his favorite team's horrible first-round draft pick...Ben leaned against his dormitory building when the sound of a car caught his attention. He peered at the street while still sucking on a dozen cigarettes like a cartoon villain...

There, near the dormitory, a black SUV pulled up blasting hip hop music through rolled-down windows.

Despite the loud music, Ben could still hear the shouts coming from inside. He was certain he heard the arguing of a man and woman, although he wouldn't dare bet without a closer look this time...

Still, Ben's eyes gleamed as he focused on the car with great interest. He had a feeling this was his destined delivery. The timing was too perfect. 'Please let the timing be too perfect...'

Ben didn't know if he had enough on the shot clock to repeat this setup...

As his lucky cloves all went out, he glanced at the countdown.

00:12:05

At that moment, the passenger side door was opened by what "appeared to be" a woman at a distance...

She exited the car and held the door open as she yelled at the driving man, who shouted back.

Although Ben couldn't hear their exact words over the music, it looked a lot like they were cursing. He narrowed his eyes as he visualized a certain scenario, one that only required a few conditions to occur first. Ben stared hard at the man in the driver's seat as if he was sending him telepathic suggestions. 'Call her a c*nt...'

...

Ben hoped if the driver got her mad enough, she might need a shoulder to cry on...and if things went well, a towel to wipe on...

...

Since Ben didn't like his summon, he'd steal someone else's servant...

Ben would fight for his own "Holey Grail."