My Servant Is An Elf Knight From Another World
695 Sour Takes
Things didn't start off well.
I don't think I've ever known such an instantaneous switch from good to not-so-good, and considering the things I've seen and done, that says quite a bit, doesn't it?
And it all started out so promising too. There I was, striding up the dilapidated steps to the set located all the way up at the last floor, in the absolute peak of my game and carrying cautious optimism about today's shoot… despite having not a single clue what the hell I was supposed to be doing.
Then I entered the room where all the thick wires and muffled sounds converged, rounding the corner, only to then witness this maniac of a director completely eviscerating this poor girl to the brink of tears.
"Take fifty! We are at take fifty! You realized that?! We've just reached a milestone dedicated solely to your screw-ups! You want a medal? Applause? Hey everyone—" He whirled around the set, eyes raving mad, smacking his hands together till they were red. "—give her a hand! C'mon! Make some noise for your star actress! Absolutely brilliant!"
No one clapped, of course. Yet, all the same, the entire cast and crew present were treating this whole thing like it was the same old, same old… and if this actually was typically your average day on set, then fuckin' yikes.
"In one of his moods," tutted a disapproving Leon by my side. "Give him time. He's gotta let it all out first before anything else can happen."
"I-I'm sorry!" shrieked the poor girl, left to fend off her own against the roaring bull of a director. I needed a look closer, because at first glance, I didn't realize she was actually a girl at all. "I'm trying! Seriously! Really! I am! I just… it's nerve-wracking! And it's difficult to move on time when I'm covered like this!"
Webbed wings protruded out her back, with patches of gaping narrow slits across her neck. If that wasn't freaky enough, her skin was pale like a corpse, and her feet had this long and elongated shape that reminded me of flippers. I found it really hard to find a fault in her excuse.
But then more than anything, it was the jagged claws for hands, the sharp pointed tips protruding out of her trembling lips that stayed my gaze for an extra second longer. If you just detract everything else from her appearance, I daresay she looked almost like…
"You! Are! An! Elidna!" roared the director, every enunciation threatening a collapse of the entire damn structure. "You are the very last of your kind, the embodiment of your entire species' existence! At the very least, do your character the decency of acting the damn part! It's what you signed up for, right? You landed this role, you knew the challenges you'd face! Don't whine to me now about not being able! Do your damn job or I'll just find someone else that can! Understood?!"
"Suddenly, I am not all too keen on the idea of volunteering me to this undertaking of yours, Master," Ash whispered in my ear.
Honestly, seeing this, I'm not too sure if I still even wanna be in it myself.
With a faltering breath that failed to settle, the Elidna muttered back to him a lifeless, "Yes…"
"Good," Mr. Director spat, flaring his nostrils like a ringed bull before turning his scowl up and addressing the set. "Okay, everyone take five! We gotta reset the scene—again! But next take, listen well—golden, alright! Am I clear?"
There was a low rousing of affirming grunts, the scamper of feet as everyone wandered to do their things, and the poor little Elidna strode off elsewhere, presumably for one last ditch attempt to perfect her act or otherwise face the fire.
"Y'know, I don't remember him being this much of a psycho last time," I remarked as things settled down.
Leon smirked. "An entire two weeks wasted on auditioning trying to scout for the best person to play the Elidna. Went through a hundred participants. Finally got his best option, takes like four hours in-and-out stalling production for the makeup effect. We're at fifty takes with every single one to just simply end up at the cutting room floor, who wouldn't be a little pissy that things are going a little bumpy?"
Meanwhile, Ash hovered close with strangely nothing else to say about just what went down. Perhaps it was the subtle unease of being back in this building, or maybe she was just utterly stricken at the notion of seeing people here in this world just casually playing dress-up and theater with hers.
Then right before I had the chance to ask her, I heard the loud strutting of a man so immensely peeved at the world creeping closer towards my direction. I looked ahead, and suddenly I was up face-to-face with the shade-wearing, totalitarian director himself.
"Oh, it's you," He said to me, a hand on his hip and the other tilting down his shades slightly to meet with my eyes. "You're here early, good. Very good. Finally something good happens."
A rare glimpse of beaming approval from the guy, only for it to be immediately snuffed, as he went straight cross-eyed practically drilling a hole into my chest with his stare alone.
"And the hell's this?" He demanded, catching the thin silvery sway around my neck in an open palm. "This is not part of your costume, you know."
Oh shit, oh boy…
"Ah, that?" I quickly shot up a smirk in character. "Nothing but a flattering gift. A lovely young Succubus gave it to me last night, you see. Bumped into her at a festive gathering, apparently took a fancy to me as much as I did her, and as a hopeful sign of what's to come, wanted something for me to remember her by. And I daresay, sometimes it feels like she's still right here beside me, you know?"
Director-man pondered me for a moment, swiveling and spinning the vial around his fingers, before to my immense relief, sounded a grunt that sounded a little impressed.
"A parting gift from a demon of lust tied with a strand of Yil," then even rarer, he shot me a smile of his own, and relinquished his hold. "Well if anybody stands a chance of taming a succubus, it'd be Chester the Suave, alright. Improvisations like these… if only some were as diligent as you are. Alright, make sure that necklace doesn't stick to the corner of your coat, I want a good panning shot of it when we start rolling."
Did I just speech-check my way into keeping my necklace as an actual prop? Holy shit, I might actually be pretty good at this whole Suave-thing.
"Back from your lunch break? Good," The director spoke, addressing the handsome blond to the left of me. "Change of plans, we'll shuffle the scenes. The Elidna's not working out, so we'll start with Leonardo and Chester's scenes together first, start from the fifth floor, a bit of exposition, interaction, then scene end, alright?"
"If that is what's demanded of me," Leon said, speaking the part of a Hero entrusted with a great burden. "Then I shall do what I must."
The director nodded his head, then without sparing another glance, he turned around back to his set, just as Leon stepped forward, breaking character to say, "Um, there's one other thing though, boss. I'd like to introduce you to—"
"No, no time!" He barked. "We're already far behind schedule as it is! You have something to say, keep it to yourself until after we're done! But for now?" with a raised arm, he gestured wildly at the crew. "Lights, camera, come on, let's go, go, go!"
It's like he didn't even notice Ash's existence despite being literal inches away from direct eye contact. Like, how do you even do that, how the hell do you not notice someone like her standing around in plain sight?
I'm guessing it's gotta be the sunglasses… blind as a bat.
"Ah well, there's always later, I suppose," Leon said, leaning forward to look at Ash. "In the meantime, why don't you go grab a coffee, hang back, and watch how it's done first?"
"Very well," Ash bowed, then slightly turned to address me. "I suppose this is where I'll have to leave you for now, Master."
I cocked a brow at her. "Somehow, you don't sound the least bit upset at the prospect for some reason."
"Upset?" She repeated, ears wiggling to the wavelength of playfulness. "My Master is to put on a mesmerizing performance before my very eyes. I ask, is there any reason to feel glum?"
"Well," I blinked at her. "When you put it like that…"
"Do your best, Master," Ash said, gently nudging me forward. "I expect great things to behold. I know you won't disappoint."
Oh, okay, so no pressure then. Good to know.
Absolutely splendid.
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