Picking the stars

Song Er didn't speak for the rest of the way, and was very quiet.

At the beginning, Pei Ji felt very good and very quiet, so he should drive quietly. But gradually, she became a little uncomfortable again. The person on the side was wearing a seat belt, sitting properly, holding a folded guide stick, hat, sunglasses, and mask in his hand, his eyes drooping slightly, and he didn't say a word.

Pei Ji couldn't help but reflect on whether she was too harsh, and she shouldn't be told not to speak, which caused Song Wei to shut down.

When he arrived at his destination, he stopped the car and Song Er said happily: "The kid has arrived at the hospital."

After speaking, he lowered his head and put on glasses, hats and masks for himself.

Pei Ji: "..."

She smiled, but in fact she didn't know what was funny, but her mood was suddenly sunny.

She walked around to the passenger cabin, and Song Er had put on her gear and sat obediently, waiting for her to open the door for her and unfasten her seat belt.

Pei Ji leaned in, and when he pressed the button of the seat belt, he was very close to Song Wei, and his body was almost attached to it. When the seat belt was unfastened, Pei Ji retreated outside the car and reminded her to get off the car. When Song Er pretended to be nonchalant and said: "Is there any side entrance? If there are too many people, I am very worried about being recognized. I'm really very worried. Red."

In fact, the face was already red, but fortunately, there were masks and sunglasses that were strictly covering it up.

Li Shengbai sits in the L University Affiliated Hospital, and Pei Ji has practiced here and is very familiar with it. She did not enter through the front door like a patient, but parked the car to a small side door where medical staff often enter and exit.

There are very few people here.

Although Song Wei repeatedly emphasized at home, you must be careful not to let people see her face, otherwise you may be besieged and you will not be able to leave. She also skillfully took out her equipment and said that her face must be blocked. Get up, but Pei Ji still feels that Song Wei and Hong don't get along at all.

Pei Ji doesn't pay attention to the entertainment industry, and never spends time watching entertainment news, but she also knows a little about the posture of the big stars. There is no place in Song Yi like those rumored stars.

But Pei Ji still parked the car in the least crowded place, because although Song Ye is not like a star, the blind people are often afraid of the crowds, especially when Song Ye is blind soon, she has not yet adapted so much. If there are more people, it will be more or less. , Will make her scared.

"There are not many people. We enter through this door. There are only some medical staff in this passage. On the fourth floor, it is Professor Li's consulting room." Pei Ji told her.

Song Er said, "Okay." It seemed that he was relieved a lot.

She threw away the guide cane, step by step, and walked forward. Pei Ji was by her side, supporting her arm.

They walked through the long passage, which may be the cause of noon. The passage is usually not crowded. Today, it is especially quiet. The blind stick is on the ground, which brings back an echo.

Turning ahead, there is an elevator, but this time is the busiest time for the elevator in the hospital, and the patients going up and down the stairs, and the family members who deliver meals, waited for a long time before they could squeeze in.

Pei Ji asked Song Er for advice, and they walked up the stairs.

There were still not many people. The corridor was very narrow. Pei Ji helped Song Er to remind her to turn and remind her that it was the last step and walked very slowly.

On the fourth floor, Song Wei suddenly stopped, she raised her left hand, Pei Ji put her hand on her palm, Song Wei grabbed Pei Ji's hand, and her voice trembled: "Professor, I'm so scared."

Pei Ji felt her palms wet and sweaty.

"Don't be nervous, I'm here." She told Song Er.

Song Er seemed to have really gained some courage, let go of his hand, and let Pei Ji take her away.

Pei Ji has a sense of time. When he arrived at Li Shengbai's office, he was five minutes earlier than the agreed time. When the time came, Li Shengbai's assistant was already there and said to Pei Ji enthusiastically: "Professor Pei, Professor Li has already arrived downstairs, you can wait a moment."

Said to pour water for them.

Song Er took off his glasses and mask. The assistant saw her face, recognized her as Song Er, and almost screamed out.

Just when Li Shengbai arrived, the assistant realized that this was rude, so he closed his mouth and looked back.

Pei Ji stood up and greeted Li Shengbai first: "Professor Li, thank you for your time."

Li Shengbai was very polite to her: "Professor Pei is too polite." He shook hands with her, then looked at Song Er who was standing next to her and said, "Miss Song, let's do an inspection first."

From his voice, Song Wei judged that Professor Li was not young but in good health because his voice was full.

She was silent rarely, and followed Pei Ji, who supported her and walked very slowly.

They walked into the CT room. The assistant put on protective clothing and brought Song Wei in. Pei Ji and Li Shengbai stayed in the observation room outside.

Through the observation window, Pei Ji watched Song Wei lie down on the examination bed. She was obviously very nervous, as if she didn't know where to put her hand, first overlapped on the lower abdomen, then put it on both sides, Pei Ji saw her forearm stretched very straight, she was very scared.

The CT machine started to operate and the examination bed moved. Song Er's expression became more tense. She seemed to want to escape, but in the end she bravely controlled herself and lay there without moving.

Pei Ji stared at her for an instant, and the next second, Song Er's upper body pushed into the machine, blocked and invisible.

"Yeah..." Li Shengbai made a voice, drawing Pei Ji's attention back.

Li Shengbai looked solemnly, staring at the computer screen, and said to Pei Ji: "It's very bad. The blood clot is too big. If you want to restore your vision, you can preliminarily conclude that there is no possibility of conservative treatment."

He turned to Pei Ji and said, "You have to do a craniotomy."

Pei Ji felt that her heart was a little dull, and there was some dull pain. She thought of Song Wei's wet palm holding her tightly at the stairs, and said, Professor, I'm so scared.

"How much is the success rate?" Pei Ji asked.

Li Shengbai shook his head, not optimistic: "Very low."

Song Ye came out of the examination room, Pei Ji went to help her, Song Ye was a little silent, she had a general understanding of her condition.

Li Shengbai said: "Let's go back to the clinic and say."

Several people went back to the consulting room in silence. Along the way, Song Wei held Pei Ji tightly. She didn't say anything, but her face was pale, like a prisoner waiting for the sentence.

They entered the consulting room and sat down. The assistant took all Song Er's medical information, and Li Shengbai flipped through it.

"Miss Song." Li Shengbai raised his head and looked at Song Er. Song Ye sat opposite her, Pei Ji did not sit, she stood beside Song Ye, and put her hand gently on the back of Song Ye's neck to comfort her.

Song Yi smiled reluctantly: "You said."

Li Shengbai glanced at Pei Ji, as if he was deciding what to say.

"I have seen many doctors and listened to many diagnoses. I know my condition roughly, you can just say it." Song Er seemed very calm.

Pei Ji stood beside her, but saw her hands clasped together, clenched very tightly, and a little trembling.

Li Shengbai listened to her, so he didn't obscure: "The blood clot oppresses the optic nerve. Originally, we would recommend conservative treatment and medication. But in your case, the blood clot is too large and you want to restore your vision. The only way to restore your vision is surgery. "

Pei Ji is here, she is an insider, and Li Shengbai can explain it more clearly.

Song Er said: "Yes, my previous doctor said that if the operation is performed, the success rate is 50%."

What is the concept of 50%? In modern medicine, the success rate of general surgery has reached 95%. If it is less than 80%, doctors will persuade patients to consider carefully.

The risk is too great.

Shengbai gave a relatively conservative probability: "I will lead the operation, and the success rate will not exceed 65%. And even if the operation is successful, there is no guarantee that the eyes will be restored. But if the operation is unsuccessful..."

Song Er was so nervous that her lips turned pale, and she tried her best to calm down, her eyes without light had no focus, they were apathetic and fragile. Pei Ji wanted to raise her hand and cover her ears to prevent her from listening, but Song Wei was much braver than she thought. She said, "I will die, right?"

Li Shengbai said: "Yes, it may become a vegetable."

The consultation room suddenly became quiet.

Li Shengbai didn't have much time left. He looked at Song Wei, and then at Pei Ji. Pei Ji paid attention to Song Wei's emotions, and realized that Li Shengbai looked at her, although he couldn't bear it, he nodded to him.

So Li Shengbai went on to say: "From the image, the blood clot has not damaged the optic nerve yet, but at most one month, the optic nerve will be damaged. By that time, your eyes will not be able to recover. I will be in three weeks later. , There is a gap time, the patient has to make a decision within three weeks, whether or not to undergo surgery."

Surgery requires preparation. And one month later, even if Song Er wants to undergo surgery, there is no need, because the damaged optic nerve cannot be recovered, she will live forever in a world that has lost the light.

When Li Shengbai finished speaking, he stood up and said, "I have a seminar in half an hour, so I have to leave first."

Pei Ji said, "Go slow, I'm sorry to trouble you."

Li Shengbai walked in front of her and paused for a moment: "I am looking forward to cooperating with Professor Pei in the future."

Song Wei raised his head, Pei Ji's hand on the back of her neck stroked her very gently, asking her to feel relieved and not nervous.

They returned home.

Song Er didn't speak any more along the way. Coincidentally, on the way back, I also met a group of elementary school students, but Song Er had no intention of playing the game of elementary school students after school.

Pei Ji is very worried about her, and thinks that she needs to consider such an important matter alone.

When he got home, Song Wei stood by the door, waiting for Pei Ji to close the door. Pei Ji looked at her and reached out to take off her mask. Her fingertips were a bit cold, and she touched Song Ye’s skin. Song Ye reflexively wanted to hide, but after all, he did not move. Pei Ji took off her mask and said to her: “I’m in the study, you can always You can come to me."

Song Er did not say yes, but asked, "What did you promise Professor Li?"

Pei Ji replied: "A cooperation."

Song Er laughed self-deprecatingly, and shook his head. That's right, Shen Zhizhou has looked for Li Shengbo so many times, and the price is not small, why Li Shengbai has not agreed, as soon as the professor said, he agreed, and he was so polite. Of course there is a price.

Pei Ji looked at Song Er's expression, frowned, and gently said to her, "Cooperating is no harm to me."

Song Wei stretched out her hand and touched Pei Ji's arm. She went down the arm and held Pei Ji's wrist, and asked her, "Professor, why are you so good to me?"

Pei Ji was also a little lost, she thought, yeah, why? But soon the answer appeared in her mind. She said seriously: "I promised Pei Yi to take care of you."

Pei Yi's last wish, asking her to take care of Song Er, she agreed.

Pei Ji will not break his promise.

Song Er was disappointed, probably because she was uncomfortable at first. Her heart seemed to be squeezed by a heavy object, very painful, but there was nothing to do. If there was no Pei Yi, the professor would probably ignore her at all.

She didn't dare to stay in front of Pei Ji any longer, she was afraid that she would become more and more disappointed, and then could not restrain her emotions, letting the disappointment in her heart slip into despair.

The situation is too bad, whether it is the eyes or the unresponsive like in her heart.

"Then... I'll go back to the bedroom first." Song Wei still tried his best to smile at Pei Ji.

Pei Ji said: "Okay."

Song Wei turned around, took the blind stick, and headed to the bedroom. She felt Pei Ji watching her all the time. Song Wei didn't dare to look back, because she couldn't restrain her tears, and the professor might be worried when she saw it.

Until the night, Song Er did not come out of the bedroom.

Pei Ji squeezed her eyebrows, and then she took out Song Er's medical certificate and looked at it. Li Shengbai's ability is indeed top-notch. From Pei Ji's point of view, it is rare to achieve a 60% success rate of this operation, but Li Shengbai is confident to give it 65%, which is almost a miracle.

But whether it's 60% or 65, Pei Ji actually doesn't approve of doing it. Because the risk is too great, because Song Er is such a soft, cat-like girl, shouldn't bear these cruel pains.

But if he didn't do it, Song Er would never see the light.

Since then, her world has no fresh vegetation, no blue sky, no flowery beauty, no golden sunshine, no city prosperous, night sky, and every ordinary person’s smile.

There is only eternal nothingness.

For the first time, Pei Ji felt that life is so difficult and that life is too hard.

At eight o'clock in the evening, Pei Ji went to stew chicken soup. Song Wei probably couldn't eat, so he could drink some soup to replenish energy.

At ten o'clock, the chicken was stewed softly, and the aroma of the chicken soup was very pleasant. She filled it, put it on the dining table, and knocked on Song Er's door.

"Come in." Song Er said inside.

There was no light in the room, and Song Er sat in the chair, holding her whole body inside. Pei Ji walked over, squatted down in front of her, and asked, "Are you hungry?"

Song Er shook his head.

Pei Ji was speechless, and did not mention that she had already cooked the chicken soup, because Song Er seemed to have no appetite at all.

"Before I went to the hospital, I was very nervous, but I was not so nervous. I thought I was mentally prepared enough to hear any results. Moreover, I have heard these diagnoses many times. I actually know that, Even Professor Li, it is already very difficult to increase the success rate by 15%. After all, this operation is so difficult to perform. However, I am still very scared. For so long, more than four months, I am still not prepared. Good." Song Er said softly.

Pei Ji did not speak. She thought that Song Er needed to talk.

But Song Wei didn't say any more. She supported the handrails and wanted to stand up. Pei Ji let go. Song Wei walked to the bed and turned to Pei Ji. She seemed to hesitate for a while, thinking about it.

Pei Ji did not make a noise, but waited patiently.

Song Wei seemed to have finally plucked up the courage and made a request to Pei Ji: "I want to sleep, can you read me a book? Read the book you like."

Pei Ji said: "Okay."

Song Er breathed a sigh of relief, because the professor refused many requests for her to listen to bedtime stories. Fortunately, she agreed today.

Pei Ji left Song Er's room and went to the study to select the "Disappearing Microorganisms" she thought was well written.

This book is relatively simple and is a general undergraduate reading, suitable for people like Song Er who do not understand immunology.

When she returned to Song Er's room, Song Er was already lying on the bed.

Pei Ji pulled the chair to the edge of the bed, sat down, and stretched out his hand to turn on the small lamp beside the bed for lighting.

Song Wei was covered with a thin quilt, lying on her side, and toward Pei Ji's direction, she stretched out her hand, trying to find Pei Ji. Pei Ji held her left hand. Song Wei seemed to feel more at ease. She held Pei Ji's hand and said softly: "I heard that by reading a book that someone has read, you can learn more about her."

Pei Ji did not comment on this sentence. She opened the general undergraduate reading with her right hand and read it from the introduction.

Song Er closed his eyes, trying hard to understand the content of the book. It is a pity that popular science books that are very interesting in the eyes of Professor Pei are too boring for ordinary people, not to mention that she still reads from the introduction.

Song Er simply listened to her voice. She usually speaks without any emotions. When she is studying, she is more straightforward, like a robot that doesn't understand intonation. But Song Er could still hear the feminine softness in her voice.

Why do you want the professor to read to her and coax her to sleep?

Because she always wanted the professor to tell her bedtime stories.

Because she wants the professor to accompany her, don't walk away a step.

Because she wants to know her, but there is about 35% chance that she will never get to know her again, nor will she have a chance to see in her heart.

Because she was afraid of an invisible world, but she was afraid of death.

Because she was reluctant to bear her, even if she only took care of him because of Pei Yi, even if she did not love her.

Song Er closed her eyes, and she thought a lot.

Pei Ji read for an hour. She paid attention to Song Yi's breathing rate. Song Yi held her hand and adjusted her volume until she was sure that Song Yi was asleep, and then stopped.

After stopping, Pei Ji glanced at the page number specially, next time Song Er still needs her to read to her. She can continue reading.

The bedside lamp was dim, and Pei Ji held the book in her hand. She wanted to withdraw her hand, but Song Wei was not sleeping well.

Pei Ji had no choice but to stay still. She didn't want to read or think, so she didn't want to do anything else. His eyes fell on Song Ye, and Pei Ji looked at Song Ye.

Song Er's eyes were closed, her chest was slightly undulating, she was wearing a light blue pajamas, and the button on the neckline was unbuttoned. You can see her neck and her collarbone. Her lips are light red. It is a clean, simple and beautiful color for young girls.

Pei Ji watched for a long time, and she traced every inch of the skin on Song Er's face in her mind, as if she was doing a very, very focused observation experiment.

She looked very carefully, Song Ye’s eyelashes, Song Ye’s hair, Song Ye’s hair covering her small ears, Song Ye’s collarbone, all aspects of Song Ye, Song Ye was smiling and talking, Song Ye was groping and walking. When Song Ye was sulking, he turned his back and ignored her. Song Ye walked slowly under the street lamp, saying that he would learn a course called "Pei Ji's happiness, anger, sorrow, and all the experiences and thoughts of Pei Ji".

Pei Ji thought a lot, when she reacted, it was already two o'clock in the morning, but Pei Ji was not sleepy at all.

She gently pulled her hand out of Song Er's hand. When she stood up, she suddenly thought of something. Song Er didn't say goodnight to her today. She bent down and stopped half of Song Er's height. Looking at Song Ye's closed eyes, he said softly, "Goodnight Song Ye."