Picking the stars

Song Er's question was very unfounded to Pei Ji.

Pei Ji still replied: "I don't want to say."

Two consecutive refusals were like provocations, coupled with Pei Ji's usual plain tone, it was as if a scoop of cold water was suddenly poured on a red iron block, and the atmosphere became cold with a click.

The street lamp by the pond was shining coldly.

Song Er's face was pale in the light, and the corners of her mouth moved, as if to say something, Pei Ji stood beside her, looking down at her intently, waiting for her to speak.

As a result, after ten seconds passed, Song Er's fiasco turned gray, but he lowered his head with a soft "Oh".

Pei Ji's irritability intensified. She thinks that Song Er needs an outbreak and a vent. She has been bored for too long and her mood is very unhealthy.

So when Song Wei expected her to describe what it was like here, she refused. She thought that Song Wei could lose his temper because of her refusal and let out all the depressed emotions.

But Song Er didn't. Instead, he asked an irrelevant question.

Pei Ji refused again, further suppressing Song Er's emotions. She thought Song Er should be angry, but in the end, it still didn't.

Pei Ji suddenly felt a sense of powerlessness.

She remembered that there was a time when the school had a parent meeting in junior high school. The teacher said that the third year of the junior high school is very important, so every student must have a parent to attend.

She told her parents about the incident, and truthfully repeated what the teacher said.

She has a good memory and repeats what the teacher said exactly, but mom and dad say no. He didn't tell her why it couldn't.

On the day of the parent meeting, they were all at home, talking and laughing with Pei Yi. Pei Ji stood on the side and couldn't participate. She had never been able to watch such a scene.

She didn't understand. It was obvious that Mom and Dad didn't seem to be too busy to attend the parent conference, so why rejected her? The teacher said that the parent conference in the third grade is very important.

So she walked over and asked, and her mother told her that because you did something wrong, you are not a good boy, and not going to your parent conference is punishment.

Because of this sentence, she thought about it for a long time, but didn't understand what she had done wrong. She has a very good memory. She remembers very long things, even if it is just a small detail, as long as she has seen it, she will not forget it.

So, she landed in the corners and searched in her memory, what she did wrong.

Her grades are very good, she has always taken the first place in the exams, she is very safe in school, never called a parent, she doesn’t make a noise at home, she doesn’t make any noise at home, what her parents ask her to do, She will do it in the stipulated time.

She thought a lot, but she didn't think of what she had done wrong.

But people are self-doubt. Because of what her mother said, Pei Ji gradually discovered that she is different from other children. She is very young and thin. She is not like other children who can talk a lot and laugh. , Will communicate with other children, she always seems to be alone.

She regarded these as things she had done wrong, so she tried to be like a normal child, but the effect was very bad. She was ostracized and suffered school violence.

She didn't like talking to others more and more, so she had to be a bad boy who had done something wrong and was punished.

Mom and Dad have always disliked her, she knew, but she thought it was her fault. The saying that you must be punished for doing something wrong is deeply rooted in her concept.

Until a long, long time later, one day, when she was on the side of the road, she saw a little girl happily running in front. Her parents were chasing after him, and while chasing, they said, "Baby, run slowly."

The little girl is only four or five years old and can’t run fast, but mom and dad seem to be unable to catch up with her at all. While running very hard, they still have to say: "Baby is awesome, run so fast, wait for Dad. "

At that time, she was going to attend an introduction class given by a professor. She had been looking forward to it for a long time, so she was in a good mood and went fast.

But when she saw this scene, she was attracted and stopped to look.

She was very happy to see that the little girl didn't listen to her parents at all, and she tripped over a raised brick and fell heavily to the ground.

She lay on the ground, as if she hadn't reacted at all. She was dull for two seconds before weeping.

Pei Ji was very nervous. She thought, Mom and Dad had reminded her to run slowly, but she didn't listen and fell. This is because she made a mistake, and the person who made the mistake can't cry.

The little girl will definitely be criticized.

Pei Ji believed that her inference could not be wrong, and she was very worried for the little girl.

As a result, no. No one criticized the little girl who fell because of her mistakes.

Mom and Dad ran over very anxiously, helped her up, coaxed her gently, rubbed her knees, rubbed her palms, and there were many places where she didn’t fall. They all rubbed them carefully. Dad took the little girl. He picked it up and said, "Stop crying, stop crying, Xinxin is the best behaved, and Xinxin is the bravest. I blame her father for not protecting her baby."

Until they passed in front of Pei Ji and walked far, the little girl didn't stop crying. Mom and Dad did not criticize her, did not say that you made a mistake, that you are a bad child, and that a fall is the punishment for your wrongdoing.

Pei Ji's reaction was slow. At that time, she was seventeen years old and was in graduate school. She knew from the beginning to the end that her parents did not like her, but she didn't seem to be very sad.

She stood there for a long time. Mom and Dad didn't like her what she had known all the time. It seemed to be enlarged suddenly, and she felt a kind of pain that was almost broken.

A child who has done something wrong can also be liked by his parents.

She is different from other children, but mom and dad can also love her.

"Go home." Song Er said.

She fumbled to find the guide cane leaning against the stone, stood up slowly, Pei Ji went to help her subconsciously, but the moment her hand touched Song Er's arm, Song Wei hid.

She rejected her.

The feeling of powerlessness is stronger.

Pei Ji is like going back to the year when she was seventeen. She found that mom and dad could not like her, they just chose not to love her.

She felt pain, and then boundless, so much powerlessness that almost drowned her whole person.

She studies very well and learns everything quickly. She has studied one degree after another, and received many scholarships. Her name is being mentioned more and more. It is no longer a freak, no more ridicule. They began to praise her, she has achieved higher and higher achievements, she walked very quickly, but she is still a child who is not loved and accepted by parents.

She can do nothing.

Just as at this time, she knew that Song Wei was unhappy, her emotional unhealthy would make her more and more depressed, so she tried to let her vent, but Song Wei did not give her any feedback.

She seemed to be angry, but Pei Ji didn't understand why.

She couldn't find the reason, so she had nowhere to work hard, just like when she was seventeen, when she saw the little girl who fell down was comforted by her father in her arms, there was no way to do it, and her body was weak.

Pei Ji was a little frightened. She wondered if, like her parents, she found out that she had made a mistake, but didn't tell her where she was wrong, so she just didn't want her.

As soon as this thought came up, Pei Ji felt very flustered, unable to relieve the flustered.

The halos from the street lamps lit up on the ground, appearing to be extremely silent.

Song Er touched the ground with a guide cane, and the small noises were regular.

Pei Ji tried to find some sense of security from this pattern. Her walking frequency closely followed the frequency of the guide stick tapping the ground, slowly following Song Wei a step away.

Suddenly, the regular sound of the guiding stick tapping on the ground disappeared, and Pei Ji's heart jumped, and then stopped.

Song Wei turned around. She didn't know Pei Ji's exact location, so she just roughly faced her and said, "Professor." She called her, paused, and stretched out her hand.

Song Erli treated her, Pei Ji's panic disappeared instantly, she curled up the corner of her mouth a little strangely, a kind of relieved joy.

She put her hand in her palm as usual.

Song Wei caught it, and didn't let it go again. She asked again, "You don't want to say, is it because Miss Lu is special to you, so you don't want to be casual and..."

Song Wei seemed to be looking for a suitable word. After a while, she said: "You don't want to judge her casually with an outsider. After all, you have known each other for more than ten years. Miss Lu has always been very good to you, and I , I'm just an outsider that Pei Yi asked you to take care of..."

When Song Er said this, he stopped.

Her question was actually just a specific refinement of the sentence "What do you think of Lu Man?" Pei Ji could hear.

The happiness that had just risen disappeared again, and completely turned into a worry for Song Er.

She insisted that Song Er needs a thorough vent, and her refusal to answer was a stimulus, and there was nothing wrong with it.

But now, Song Er’s expression is sad. She seems to cry anytime, her clean eyes are red at the corners of her eyes, but the corners of her lips are slightly tilted, as if she is not sad, just chatting. .

Pei Ji's insistence was loosened, because Song Yi was very sad, because Song Yi seemed to be unable to bear her refusal to answer again, Pei Ji gave in.

"No." Pei Ji said.

Song Er got the answer and nodded. Pei Ji was disappointed to find that Song Wei was not pleased with her answer.

She still held her hand, firmly, she took a step closer to her and almost touched Pei Ji. Pei Ji was not used to such a close distance, but she held it back and did not back off.

Song Ye's lips and Pei Ji's chin were separated by less than a finger, and Pei Ji's breathing became a little heavier. The corners of Song Er's lips curled up.

"Professor..." She called her again, and her breath hit Pei Ji's chin.

Pei Ji felt uncomfortable all over, not uncomfortable, but the heartbeat rate suddenly became faster, not as fast as a healthy person. She didn't dare to move, and Song Er did not move. She said, "I wrote a song and gave it to you, okay? You have to understand one thing, I have never written a song to anyone."

"Good." Pei Ji agreed.

Her voice was in Song Er's ear.

What a pity, I can't see her. Song Yi thought, it's a pity that she can't see someone who likes so much.

"Pei Ji, you must remember that you are me..." Song Wei couldn't say anymore, Pei Ji lowered her head, and she saw tears on Song Wei's face.

Pei Ji panicked for a moment: "Don't cry." She said immediately.

Song Wei shook her head, her tears grew more and more, she decided not to accept the operation, and also decided to bury her love for Pei Ji in the bottom of her heart.

She understood Lu Man's feelings.

Why can you stay with someone for more than ten years and never talk about your liking for her, because compared to never getting her, it’s more painful that you can’t stay with her again, can’t hear her voice, can’t feel her Her breath.

Song Wei slowly squatted down, she kept crying, Pei Ji panicked, she tried to comfort her, but she didn't know what to say.

She seems to be excluded forever. She doesn't understand why her parents don't like her, nor why Song Er cried suddenly.

Pei Ji thinks that Song Nei needs a vent, and now Song Nei is really crying, Pei Ji can't feel even the slightest relief.

"Don't cry, don't cry." Pei Ji said helplessly, but Song Wei still cried very hard.

Pei Ji suddenly thought, if Pei Yi was here, would Song Yi be happy soon, and could he immediately understand why Song Yi was unhappy.

She has always admired Pei Yi, although she has never admitted it.

But at this moment, she thought that if Pei Yi could come back so that Song Wei could not cry, she would do anything to let her do.