Playboy Cultivator in the Apocalypse

A group of people stood inside the gates of the Sanctuary, the cultivation space that Evalyn trained in with Crux and Kiera used for daily cultivation training with Kaze.

Everyone was on edge, waiting as they watched a firey teen talk to her partner.

"Whoa, hold up! I'm teaching them a heaven-grade technique?" Kiera asked in shock, "We're not talking about noob cakes here—these are your front-grade authority nuggets.

By contrast, I'm just your humble [sekky wife]. This won't end well."

"Is this your way of encrypting information, or must I bring a translator?" Kaze scoffed mockingly, making her smile cutely, "Yes, you're teaching the cabinet members Angel's Breath.

Yes, they hold the highest positions of political power, but you're the top student at Immortal Skye, so you're more than qualified to teach."

-

"It's kinda cute that he speaks fluent Kiera." Veronica whispered.

"It is pretty cute." Jake smiled back.

"I wish that I could say the same thing…." Kylie whispered.

"Why?" Veronica asked.

-

"But you want results, right?" Kiera asked, "Copper doesn't look like she wants me to teach her. That's a front-row ticket to instant failure."

"Everyone will want your help, you know this much, yes?" Kaze scoffed, rolling his eyes, "It's a great opportunity to make friends because everyone will appreciate you, including Kylie."

-

"Why is she calling you [copper], Kylie?" Jake asked in confusion, "Like police?"

"No, not police." Kylie chuckled bitterly, "Kiera begrudgingly calls Evalyn the first wife and herself the second; gold and silver. She doesn't accept anyone else, so we get random metals.

Last night I was [nickel]."

The group laughed under their breaths, watching the slang riddler talk to Kaze.

-

"It is a brilliant idea and… um, opportunity… and stuff." Kiera began, "Buuuuuuuuuuuuuuut-but-but-but! Qualifications, Kazey. Qual-eh-feh-kay-shons.

I'm bad with people, we have no translator, I haven't taught a thing in my life, and I only just learned the technique—that's in addition to my status."

-

"Kaze is okay with calling her his second wife and letting her disrespect you?" Sage mused.

"No, Kaze calls us whatever we want and doesn't condone us disrespecting each other." Kylie shook her head, "However, she's not disrespecting me.

This is just how she talks, and she's pushing back because she doesn't want to let Kaze down and knows she isn't qualified. I'm just one factor."

-

"Kiera, you're the most talented cultivator I've ever met." Kaze smiled warmly, ruffling her pink hair, "You're also extremely capable. While it may be raw, you will find a way to succeed."

Kiera and Kylie's eyes widened in shock at his statement, attracting Veronica and Sage's perceptive gazes.

"Really?" The slang riddler asked, feeling overwhelming emotions, "Are you being cereal right now?"

"You know I'm being genuine." Kaze scoffed, losing his gentle gaze. "Must you use that detestable jargon to reply to honest compliments? It's rude."

"Only when I'm confirming how much you mean~some~thing." Kiera chimed merrily, "Like—now."

"Pray tell, Kiera. How does one ascertain the genuineness of another's subjective statements?" He asked in vexation, rolling his eyes.

While it was easy to determine a person's thoughts through their emotions, it was impossible to gauge how much they loved something if they said [it's my favorite].

"Well, for starters, you chastise people for parroting your words with sarcasm unless you really~realy~really-realy-reeeeeeeealy mean it." Kiera argued rapidly with sparkling eyes, "But that's not what's tell~ing.

You get super, super bent if someone disrespects a compliment from you. But, you get super, hella, mega bent if you meant it with your heart as you do now.

That's how I can tell that you really mean it!"

Her timidity disappeared and was replaced by vibrant confidence, stunning everyone except Kaze, who gave her a complex yet gentle smile.

"It's hard to chastise you when you're so shrewd and perceptive." Kaze chuckled in disbelief, patting her head.

"Praise me more, mister." She ordered playfully, eyes closed and purring.

"I love that mind of yours, Kiera." Kaze smiled, "Does this mean you'll do it?"

"Of course!" Kiera replied without hesitation, "I'll make it happen even if you need Paradox of Healing to clean up the aftermath."

Besides the emperor, everyone's warm expressions turned to frowns, and they shivered.

Without warning, the pink-haired teen jumped to her tiptoes and kissed him on the cheek with a slight blush and vibrant smile. "I got you, boo."

"Excellent." Kaze smiled, turning to the others, "Listen to Kiera carefully. It's not only a matter of authority but a matter of safety.

Her cultivation creates miracles with concentration but ruin with disorder. I assure you, you needn't worry about her current mindset."

Kiera didn't even register his strange comment but got curious when she saw Jake, Veronica, Sage, and Kylie's eyes wide, seeking confirmation.

She had five states that people had seen—anxious, extra anxious, angry, super angry, and depressed.

However, she looked like she had just gotten proposed to, spoke fast, acted with alien confidence, and broke social norms with grandiose gestures—and didn't notice it.

There was something wrong with Kiera's mental state that far exceeded happiness.

That's why they were confused and afraid after hearing him say they didn't need to worry about her mental state after saying she needed absolute concentration not to hurt them.

"Did I miss something?" Kiera asked in confusion, looking around.

"I clarified that your [happiness] won't affect your concentration." Kaze smiled, glancing at everyone confidently, "Now, I must go, everyone.

Kiera has volunteered four days of her undivided attention. If you're kind and praise her, she'll be in a great mood, willing to go the extra mile for you, and will save you immense pain."

"Hey!" She cried, "You can't just go around offering my emotions and actions like that!"

He turned to her with a gentle gaze. "I'll reward you for proficient cultivation from each.

A training day off for Kylie, a movie night for Veronica, strawberry cake for Sage, and I'll purchase scavenging services for years worth of pink and black hair dye for Jake.

I know you'll succeed, so give me a reason to spoil you."

"Listen up, everyone!" Kiera grinned boldly, pointing at them, "I'm maxing out Kazey's expectations and beyond. So we're going hard in the paint for the next four days, ya hear?"

They all nodded and turned to Kaze with pleading expressions, begging him to reconsider. However, the emperor kissed her on the cheek and disappeared through a spatial rift.

Kylie smiled wryly, watching the teen squeal in delight. Since she was distracted, she didn't notice him exit a spatial next to her until his lips were on her cheek. "W-What was that!?"

Kaze winked and disappeared again, leaving the bewildered brunette blushing. The slang riddler was none the wiser, as she was still juiced up after his praise and exit.

***

"Why are we still standing here?" Sage asked dryly, watching Kiera circling them repeatedly, "It's been twenty minutes. Kaze spoon-fed us the technique; we should be doing the basics."

"You~know…." Kiera said mysteriously, "You're right—you're A-Okay to get started. I'm just walking around in circles because I like examining bodies on my off days."

"I doubt that." The redhead scoffed, rolling her eyes and sitting in the lotus position, "However, I'll be cultivating until it's my turn for examination again."

"I see, I see." The slang riddler mused mysteriously, "So [this] is why Kaze put a cake bounty on your head. Very troubling indeed."

"If you want to say something, just come out and say it." Sage countered in annoyance.

"Kazey knows about your blunt personality and ironic hyper-rationality tick." Kiera replied sassily, "That's why he put the legendary reward bounty on me overcoming your issues."

The redhead's eyes flashed with murder, and she started analyzing the teen like a hawk.

"Now, if your success were only worth a day off of training, I'd let you go for it." The slang riddler continued, "In fact, I'd have appreciated it.

After you screamed in excruciating pain and realized that you couldn't stop without permanently crippling your meridians, well… it'd build trust with these guys."

Sage's eyes trembled, and her facial muscles tensed in horror, realizing the severity of the situation her impatience would have caused.

"Thank~fully, your exalted leader has ample foresight into your flaws and has tied your success to my~cake." Kiera continued cutely, "That being the case, I'll slap the shit out of you to prevent you from destroying your meridians. Any~other~questions?"

The redhead closed her eyes, suppressing the hellfire burning within her. She would never attack Kiera—for any reason. Kaze would genuinely murder her. "You've made your point."

"Good, then listen up, noob cakes!" The slang riddler yelled, "Prepare to swallow your pride cuz you'll beg for my aid the second you start, and there's 3,600 of those till you stop."

Jake swallowed nervously, remembering the jump to the sky-grade technique. Veronica squeezed his hand for support, making him smile slightly.

"You're a few centuries too soon to cultivate this shit." Kiera continued, "So I'm here to help you do it without permanently skull fucking your meridians or being useless for the next two months."

Veronica joined in on the shivering, and Sage took a sharp breath, feeling the gravity of her decisions.

"You may be wondering how I'll prevent that." Kiera continued, snaking her hand around, "I can modify the Qi around your meridians to adjust the amount of Qi you can take in.

That's why I've been analyzing your meridians and breathing patterns."

As she waved her hand, a membrane of Qi warped around it, rotating clockwise, stopping, and then counterclockwise. Then she shrunk and expanded it, hypnotizing them.

"If I don't adjust the Qi intake, your meridians will rip too far." She explained, "That's why you'll beg me to do it when your meridians get penetrated like a thieving hussie on prom night.

However, I need concentration to do it safely. If I can't, I'll just suck the Qi out of you with the efficiency of a spring breaker who wants a free VIP concert ticket. Hashtag talented."

Everyone grimaced after hearing her rollercoaster of a description.

"Now, prepare yourself." Kiera ordered loudly, "If anyone kills my cake, I'll exact swift and brutal revenge without mercy. Let's get started!"