Playboy Cultivator in the Apocalypse
265 "Household Bonding"
Moe and Layla walked into the basement of the Central and Moe Mansion with wide eyes. Without the large battle flamingos, the Roman-style bath looked elegant, glimmering in the moonlight from the glass roof.
They walked with five other women, each with white towels draped around their bodies. Four were Kaze's partners, and they were continuing the Lainwright soldiers' tour of Immortal Skye.
The fifth, a petite brunette, was confused about why she was there at all. However, she didn't question the invitation and readily followed them to the bath.
"The other recreation areas are similar in size." Marilyn explained, "However since Emperor Lexicon's partners are the exclusive residents of this mansion, he had this pool renovated into a bath."
"How do you heat a bath of this size?" Moe asked in astonishment, studying the large indoor pool, "It doesn't look like you've modified it past adding seating around the edges."
As she mentioned, the pool had shallow seating steps around the perimeter but they hadn't filled the deep end. It was a normal pool that they suggested was a bath!
"I get you're not very bright, but come on." Kiera scoffed, rolling her eyes, "I just patched up that twice-stitched franken-mug of yours yesterday.
You'd think that almost dying in a building fire would scar the practical use cases of fire cultivation techniques into that mental of yours."
"W-Wait!" Moe cried, trembling, "You're n-not using [that] technique in here, are you?"
Kiera opened the metal door and then turned around with a murderous expression. "Are you implying I'd do something that could destroy Kazey's home?"
The curly-haired brunette trembled in fear, looking into the teen's savage golden gaze. "N-No... I-I...."
"To be fair, the~last~time you used Combustion, you blew up the skyscraper they were staying in [by accident]." Marilyn giggled, "It's only natural for them to be skeptical."
"That wasn't an accident." Kiera huffed, crossing her arms across her chest, "Kazey asked me to demonstrate our power to this uncouth pack of anti-rationals. That's what I did.
Stop acting like I failed because I deep-broiled two thousand zombies and a flock of undesirables when I meant to roast one thousand."
The teen shamelessly ignored the [undesirables] in the potential outcome scenario, making Layla and Moe frown.
"Qi control is Qi control, Kiera." Kylie said calmly, "It's all you talk about during training."
"I...." The slang riddler's face turned crimson, and she turned to the two women bitterly. "I'm sorry... that you suck."
SNAP!
Tiny golden sparks materialized a foot away from Moe and Layla's faces when Kiera snapped her fingers. Before they could react--
Boom, boom!
Cute explosions detonated in front of their faces. While they were harmless, the sight triggered memories of third-degree burns and glass shrapnel shredding the team.
"Eeeeek!" Moe screamed, stumbling backward, followed closely by Layla.
SPLASH! Splash!
Both women crashed into the cold pool, shaking lightly.
"KIERA!" Fey yelled, watching the teen stomp into the heating room, "I know this isn't my place to say, but you should apologize! That was rude!"
However, no response came from the room. One might have thought something was wrong if it weren't for the steam coming from the bath abruptly.
"You're a brave woman, I'll give you that." Kylie muttered to the professor.
"I'm not brave...." Fey replied nervously, "Wait, why would pointing out something like this take bravery?"
"Take a look at those women's faces; the details are irrelevant." Marilyn giggled, turning to the two half-traumatized women still wearing their towels in the water, "I'll go get some more towels."
Without further explanation, she left the professor to decipher her horrifying warning.
"Don't worry, Lady Roybock." Addison giggled, unrobing her curvy body and placing the towel on a rack, "Kiera's delightful. We all just have to accept the way she expresses herself."
The petite brunette teacher's eyes widened, looking at the gorgeous redhead's busty, double D bust and plump ass in perplexed jealousy. Then she turned to Marilyn, who brought towels back and disrobed, revealing a curvy body with upper C's and sexy hips.
She reflexively gasped her borderline C breasts in terror, realizing the type of women she was up against. However, a woman next to her giggled.
"Kaze loves women of all shapes and sizes." Kylie giggled, revealing her petite cheerleader's body, "Eventually, he'll give you a divine body constitution.
Then your breast sizes will increase, and your body will become rockin'. So just have faith in him."
Fey's eyes glided to the left in confusion. "Why would he give me that?"
Kylie looked at the professor, glanced at the other women in the room, smiled mockingly, then hung up her towel silently, getting into the pool.
The professor repeatedly shifted her gaze between the wavy-haired brunette getting into the bath and the others. Every cycle heated her face further, increasingly realizing that every non-guest woman in the room was one of Kaze Lexicon's harem members!
Marilyn, Kylie, and Addison giggled, looking at the mortified professor's face. They were starting to see what Kaze found charming about her.
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"Are you going to get in, princess?" The sexy Chief of Staff smiled. Her arms were spread out, resting her elbows outside the steaming bath relaxedly.
"The water's nice." Addison smiled dreamily, "You should get in."
The pink-haired teen blushed, looking at all the women's naked bodies. She turned away, trying to find a way to escape but fighting with her desire to follow through with Kaze's request.
Everyone was there for "household bonding." Household referred to the Central Mansion, which now had rooms for Kylie and Addison. However, everyone knew that what it really was: [harem bonding].
"It's not like we're going to grope you or anything." Kylie giggled, enjoying watching her squirm.
"This body is for Kazey's eyes only." Kiera said with dead seriousness, "I refuse to donate it to the flooze cruise as a harem perk attraction. Especially when the tainted future applicants in the bath aren't even citizens."
Moe and Layla looked at each other in shock, hearing the teen's confident, unilateral declaration that they'd line up to be in Kaze's harem in the future.
"Kiera, every woman in Immortal Skye isn't going to fall for Kaze." Kylie replied dryly, "So you can't keep treating women like they will be by default."
"That may be slightly true for respectable women." The slang riddler said, "But once you trade the misspelled M for a highly-accurate H, the name Moe reveals this woman's true colors."
All the women in the bath's eyes widened, and their jaws lowered slightly before the professor's face heated up.
"Young lady! You can't call every woman who likes Kaze a hoe!" Fey lectured, pointing her finger at the pink-haired teen, "It's rude and disrespectful."
"That's a rather presumptuous assertion." Kiera frowned, studying the petite brunette carefully, "Besides, I didn't call her a [hoe]."
"You spelled it out." The professor asserted, "Not saying the term doesn't change what you communicated."
"Then what about [farm tool]?" The slang riddler compromised amicably.
"Somehow, that's worse!"
"Soil shaper?"
"Abstraction doesn't change it, either!"
"What about [garden gadget]?"
"Cuteness doesn't alter the meaning!"
"Hmmm... bed fluffer?"
"Don't add insults!" Fey demanded sternly, "If you're clever enough to create a loaded pun, you're smart enough to know it's not right to call women hoes for liking Kaze."
"Damn, this lady's a bad bitch." Addison giggled, "I've never met anyone confident enough to talk back to Kaze's Sekky Wife."
"Right?" Marilyn mused, "Even if she turns down the harem, we should hire her as the princess' tutor."
Kaze's partners giggled in the bath cheerily, watching the professor battle with the slang riddler while Moe sank underwater, leaving only her eyes.
"How do you speak like this?" Layla asked in awe after the battle, "When I met you, I thought you were speaking in slang. However, after hearing fifty new phrases every hour, I realized that most wasn't."
"Of course not." Kiera replied, "I use slang when the shoe fits, but I rarely have the words to express people's abhorrent stupidity and harlotry, so I have to make terms up."
"I get what you're doing, but how?" The blonde soldier clarified, "It's easy to say you made up terms, but it's seriously unnatural."
"I'm also curious." Marilyn smiled mysteriously, "Give us a lecture, Princess."
"Is it okay to encourage her like this?" Fey asked nervously.
"What's the harm?" The sexy brunette smiled, "You'll come to find that this firecracker and her language are quite endearing."
"Plus, it'll be fun." Addison giggled, "Come on, please join us, Kiera."
All the women chanted for her to get into the bath.
"Fine, I'll do it." Kiera huffed, turning away in annoyance, "But close your eyes while I get undressed. I'm only here because Kazey asked me to be, so accept the concessions or die."
Everyone giggled after seeing her bright red face, even the Lainwright soldiers. She was just too cute.
When everyone's eyes were closed, Kiera removed the towel, exposing her divine physique. She was petite but perfectly proportionate to her band size, having C-cup breasts that looked like they belonged on a Greek statue.
She shaved every part of her meticulously and used skin cream, now that she could afford it, to look as perfect as possible for Kaze.
After studying everyone's expressions to ensure they weren't peaking, she got into the bath hesitantly. Once sitting, she crossed her legs and wrapped her arms around her perky breasts.
"You can open your eyes now." Kiera pouted, seeing everyone celebrating her getting in.
"Will you tell us now?" Kylie asked, "How does one become a one-woman Urban Dictionary?"
"Ya'll act like it's difficult to insult people." Kiera huffed in annoyance, "But fine, whatevs. I'll give you an insult masterclass."
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