The food was so delicious that it was not easy to eat.
My stomach was growling. I didn’t know what time it was. I hadn’t eaten lunch or dinner.
I went out to find something to eat. I went to the kitchen and tried to get some steamed buns from the cupboard. The buns were too hard, so I tried to heat them up. I opened the lid of the pot. There were rice and vegetables. Hot water was stewing under the rice and vegetables. The rice was still warm.
I was silent for a moment as I looked at the food in front of me. I couldn’t control myself and wanted to cry.
I held back and ate it in big mouthfuls while sitting on the small bench in the kitchen.
They were like this. When she felt unloved, she started to do things that made her look forward to it.
And most of the disappointment came from the so-called expectations.
*
Jiang Xue was born during the migrant worker boom in the 1990s.
As soon as Jiang's father and mother got married, Jiang's grandfather and grandmother divided the family of their sons.
Jiang's father had five brothers and sisters, with an older sister Jiang Ping, an older brother Jiang Tiancheng, and Jiang Haiyang the third. There was also a younger brother Jiang He and a younger sister Jiang Xiaodie.
At that time, the two youngest children had not yet started a family, and the eldest daughter had already married, so they only divided the two sons.
Or more precisely, they divided Jiang Haiyang.
Because Jiang's uncle got married early, there was no room for him in the early years, so he built another house on other homesteads early.
It was equivalent to dividing the family.
Although Jiang Haiyang's marriage was a division of the family, he only divided the two broken tile houses to Jiang's father and mother, and built a simple kitchen in the yard and set up a stove, which was considered a division of the family.
But they still lived in the same yard.
As for money, there was none.
Grandma Jiang's original words: "All the money in the family has been used as a dowry for you to marry a wife. Jiang He is not married yet, so I will not give you a penny. In addition, you have to pay back the money borrowed for your marriage."
"You are grown up, have your own ideas, and be self-reliant."
These words are also angry, blaming the second daughter-in-law's parents for asking too much dowry.
And Jiang's mother Liu Yan is so beautiful that everyone in the surrounding area praises her beauty.
Her older brother and younger brother are waiting for her dowry to marry a wife.
Because she is beautiful and has many suitors, Jiang's father was not liked at all at first.
The two were classmates, but she was beautiful, lived in the town, her parents both had jobs, and her family was well-off, so she had many suitors, while Jiang Haiyang was dull, from the countryside, with average family conditions, and many brothers and sisters.
Jiang Haiyang liked Liu Yan since he started school.
But Liu Yan's parents wanted her to marry a good family.
When she was nineteen, her own brother introduced her to a Hong Kong businessman who came to invest in the mainland.
The Hong Kong businessman did not like her. She was pretty, but girls from small places were timid and uneducated.
Her brother Liu Jun sent her to the Hong Kong businessman's bed.
Just once, she got pregnant.
Liu Yan's parents and brother used her pregnancy to ask the Hong Kong businessman for resources and jobs.
The good times did not last long. The other party felt that the family was too greedy and that they were being set up. It was still unknown whether the child in the belly was theirs.
So the Hong Kong businessman ran away before the child was born.
At first, Liu Yan and her parents thought that he would definitely come back. After all, she was pregnant with his child. They also fantasized that their daughter would marry him, fly up to the branches and become a phoenix, and also pull their whole family.
Who knew that the child's father never showed up until the child was born.
When the child was two years old, they accepted that their plan to let their daughter marry a rich man had failed.
During this period, she gave birth to a child out of wedlock, and the child's father ran away and didn't want her anymore.
A series of rumors were secretly circulated. When she faced everyone's strange eyes, she began to regret it and resented her parents and brother for harming her when she was young and knew nothing.
Liu Yan didn't dare to give birth at home. She rented a house in the county town. The child was in labor early. She was preparing to go to the hospital with difficulty and met her old classmate Jiang Haiyang.
The other party sent her to the hospital and signed for her.
Served her until her parents came.
Afterwards, Jiang Haiyang also asked her about her well-being.
Although he knew about her experience and had given birth to a child, he still said that he didn't mind and he liked her as a person.
The two of them secretly fell in love.
When talking about marriage, Liu Yan's parents were unwilling to do so. They were already helping Liu Yan find a partner.
Even if their daughter had given birth to a child, the child was under her brother's name. If she didn't tell anyone, no one would know, so the one they chose was undoubtedly good.
They didn't agree with their daughter finding someone herself because they thought Jiang Haiyang was too poor.
Liu
Yan was willing to die in order to marry Jiang Haiyang.
Liu Yan's parents finally gave in, but they said that if the stipulated betrothal gift was one cent less, he would not be able to marry his daughter.
The Jiang family did their best and borrowed all the relatives they could to get enough money.
So the betrothal gift they gave out was basically a waste of money, and there was no possibility of bringing it back.
After the wedding was over and the money was spent, Grandma Jiang found out that the second daughter-in-law she had married had a child before she married into her family.
They quarreled and cursed, and she would never agree to take the child over, so Jiang Xue actually had a half-brother who was raised at her grandmother's house.
Grandma Jiang's son and daughter-in-law cursed together, and they quarreled and divided the family.
They were newly married, and they were separated again. There were foreign debts outside, and the family was so poor that they could not even make ends meet.
If they wanted to grow crops in the fields, they had to wait until the harvest.
At that time, many people went to big cities to work. Jiang's mother was pregnant with Jiang Xue, so Jiang Haiyang went to work in the south alone.
But without education and skills, he could only work in the factories of fellow villagers in the same village, and the salary was limited.
This salary was needed to support his pregnant wife and the unborn child, and to pay off the debt owed for marriage.
In addition, at the father-in-law's house, the elder brother-in-law and the younger brother-in-law had to marry and hold weddings.
Weddings and funerals in her mother's family all require money.
As the only daughter of the Liu family, her brothers and sisters couldn't get married without some expression, and there was also a child to be raised there, so Liu Yan's parents came to ask for money every few days.
In those years, although Jiang Haiyang worked outside for a few years, he didn't save much money.
In the past few years, Liu Yan and her mother-in-law lived in the same courtyard. She was not happy that she had a child, but the neighbors didn't know about it and kept it secret.
Besides having given birth to a child, she was not good at work and was also pretentious. So when she saw her daughter-in-law supporting her parents, she used this as an excuse to quarrel with her every other day.
They even fought each other when it was serious, but Jiang's mother was no match for Jiang's grandmother. Jiang's grandmother was big and strong, and she could do farm work as well as a strong laborer. When she beat Jiang's mother, it was just like beating a child. Jiang's mother was so angry that she wanted to jump into the river with Jiang Xue in her arms, but was stopped by everyone.
She couldn't beat Jiang Xue and couldn't win the scolding. They were in the same house and yard. Jiang's mother wanted to go out to work at that time, and Jiang Xue's existence was the biggest obstacle.
Her sister-in-law, Aunt Jiang, encouraged her a few words: "No matter how much my mother doesn't like you, Xiaoxue is her granddaughter. She still likes Xiaoxue very much." Jiang's mother also felt that no matter how much her mother-in-law hated her, her daughter was her own granddaughter, and it was natural for a grandmother to take care of her grandchildren.
Thinking of this, she suddenly understood. She packed her luggage, left Jiang Xue, who was more than two years old, and went to find her husband without saying goodbye.
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