Rebirth in the Apocalypse: Third Time's a Charm

I think that I need to make it clear that I know who I was. I know where I came from and where I wanted to go, I know Li Dai Lu.

Unfortunately, I have no idea who the person that I am currently residing in is. Nope, not a clue. This isn't like a novel where the memories of the person flood my mind and I can easily step into her shoes. We have already established that the Fates hated me, so I have no clue who I am now. But you know what? I really don't care. I am me, whether I can recognize my face in the mirror or not, I am me. I have now lived in this body for two lives, it is mine. I licked it, I own it. And I have not met anyone that seemed to know this body before. So there…

I stuck my hand in my pants pocket where I put my debit card, their debit card… whoever's debit card and pulled it out. Reading the name of the original owner and the bank, I look up the address. Time to see if I am broke or can afford all the supplies that I could dream of.

It turns out… this body was loaded.

I returned to the empty apartment after taking out a few million dollars from the bank. They weren't impressed, but I definitely was. Money, right now, was great, but in about a year, it would be completely worthless. So might as well spend it while I can.

It seemed like a no-brainer. Money might not be able to buy happiness, but it was able to buy food. And nothing made me happier than food.

Taking out colored pens and paper from my space, I sit down on the floor of my empty apartment to organize my thoughts.

On a blank piece of paper, I write down: 'Step One to Surviving the End of the World'.

Then I stopped. I had done this once before, I had survived for a good long time at the end of the world, a whole 10 years! I knew what it would take to succeed. And the first thing was to realize that people ruin everything.

As an extreme introvert, I had long known that people were the problem. A person? I could deal with a person, but people as a whole were nothing but an issue. And apparently, saving too many of them could lead to your death.

I would like to say: 'who knew?', but I knew, I definitely knew.

Therefore, step one was for people to go away and die. There. Simple.

First step: don't bother with people and let as many people die as was needed for me to have a good life.

Feeling accomplished I write down: 'Step Two: Set yourself up for success'.

I looked at the title a few times and scrunched my nose. I was starting to sound like one of those inspirational books. I jot down a few notes under that step.

1. Buy supplies, seeds, and animals.

In the last apocalypse, the animals never mutated, and the land was still safe to live off. Since zombies were created by a virus (not like the novels told me they would be), only humans were affected. But if you look back at step one, people ruin everything.

Unfortunately, in the cities, the land was at a premium, and trying to buy a live cow at your local grocery store was just not happening.

So why stay in the city? It turned out that it was human nature to want to be amongst other humans. For some reason, people felt safer in bigger groups than they did by themselves, so within the first year, the countryside was vacant as people rushed to where they felt safest, the cities.

The funniest thing was that the cities were so much more dangerous than the countryside could ever be.

You knew where you stood with zombies… humans? Not so much

It had taken me years to set up the original compound, but I didn't have years to spend on this one.

Crossing out the first point, I chewed the end of my pen. Closing my eyes, I pictured what needed to happen.

1. Buy a farm, somewhere out in the middle of nowhere and build a really, really big fence. I nodded happily at that one. Yes, set up a place and move in well before my life was in danger. And let's face it, a good fence made for good neighbors.

I never knew why people left their original homes in apocalyptic novels to journey to different cities and try to find any safe zones. Maybe I was too North American in my thinking, but setting myself up to stay put seemed so much more sensible than leaving the safety of a familiar place.

If the power goes out? Prepare ahead of time and build solar panels and generators.

No food? Learn how to store food properly so that you can have a year's supply on hand. Learn to grow your own food and have seeds to be able to do so.

Need water? Have some stored and learn to make a well. Have rain barrels to collect the water for both animals and plants.

Angry mob at your door trying to steal all your stuff? I smiled at that thought. Big guns, a big dog, and an even bigger fence. Why let them in in the first place?

I had one year to make my own Fort Knox, fit for a King, or even a Queen.

Step one was done, but step two needed to be worked on. I pulled out my phone and started to look for a real estate company that specialized in farms.

I didn't want to live in the same place as my last life, there were too many bad memories associated with it. Instead, maybe someplace in a valley beside a mountain, or near a body of water. There were so many possibilities. I just needed to wait until I found a place that felt like home.

All I needed to think about was myself. No one else mattered. And in case I wavered and wanted to save someone? I could always refer to step one in case I had any doubts.

And warning other people about what was coming? Sorry world, I have no more fucks to give.