Rebirth of India: Superior

Both the government survey and Yoganta's survey show that, contrary to popular belief, girls are most vulnerable to domestic violence at home, and the attackers are their partners. Data shows that 40% of women have experienced domestic violence.

Snealata comes from a middle-class family and lives a happy life. After graduating from college, she was arranged to marry a husband who was well-matched with her. Well, it should be said that he was an inexplicably neurotic and violent man. Since getting married, Snealata has lived a life of being beaten and scolded day and night and being in fear.

The violent man felt at ease to restrict her freedom, deprive her of her property, and hurt her body and mind. If the food was not cooked to her satisfaction, he would beat her standing in the corridor, beat her when she met her brother, and finally even her father-in-law couldn't stand it anymore and asked Snealata to go to the police station to complain.

"Even trivial matters could be a reason for him to beat me. He said he liked to see me trembling with fear. He restricted me from chatting with neighbors and standing outside to laugh. One time, my biological brother asked me to go out for dinner and was beaten when he came back because he said my brother was also a man. And he also said that I was his wife, so it didn't matter even if he killed me." Snealata said.

Snealata lived in panic every day. Finally, one day the violent man threatened to cut off her tongue and scared her into the hospital. This time, Snealata decided to leave the violent man and end her 16 years of terrifying life. Now Snealata has started studying law again, and the smile has returned to her face.

Rashmi was born in a wealthy family and lived a life of food and clothing since she was a child. When she grew up, she married a husband who seemed to be a good match to outsiders. After living together for only two or three days, her husband was exposed. It turned out that he was a violent man. From then on, Rashmi had no good life. The violent man often took action for trivial matters, and once almost caused Rashmi to miscarry. At first, the violent man would cry and beg for forgiveness, but gradually he felt at ease, "You have to beat your wife."

Domestic violence not only hurts Rashmi, but also hurts her children. Rashmi's son gradually became autistic after witnessing his father beating his mother. Rashmi realized that this could not go on. This kind of family was a great harm to her and her two children. Then she ended her 10-year marriage and left with her two children.

The violent man was unwilling to divorce. He felt so bad that his wife would beat him. He went to Rashmi's parents, but failed. Then he showed his scumbag nature again like the last violent man. Divorce was fine, but he didn't want any property. Rashmi still expressed her determination to divorce. The violent man used a very dirty trick to spread rumors and destroy Rashmi's reputation.

Although Rashmi's financial difficulties at the beginning of the divorce were so severe that she had to sell her jewelry, she lived happily with her two children. Now she is not only a writer, but also serves the Women's Counseling Center of the Delhi Police Department. She pointed out that the idea of ​​"not divorcing for the sake of children" is wrong. Children, especially boys, growing up in a violent environment may lead to autism or become the next violent man. These are all harms to children.

What do these domestic violence men think? The reporter then interviewed some men who admitted to beating their wives on the street and came up with the following remarks: "I went out to sell vegetables in the morning, and when I came back at 2 o'clock in the afternoon, my wife was still lying in bed and hadn't even made lunch. What else could I do if I didn't beat her?"

"If a wife is unreasonable and disrespectful to her husband, then the man should teach him a lesson."

"I warned him not to complain when I was going out, it was unlucky, but she just didn't listen, so I beat her up!"

"I only beat my wife twice a month, which is not much!"

"If I don't get what I want, sometimes I get angry and beat her!"

"If a wife does something she shouldn't do, then any man should beat her up!"

Why do men beat their wives? Why do they think it's natural for wives to act according to their husbands' wishes? Kamla, who has been studying women's issues for 42 years, sees it this way:

First, patriarchy, that is, the supremacy of men, is the root cause of all kinds of women's problems.

Secondly, Indian traditions have reinforced men's sense of superiority. For example, on Raksha Bandhan, men are supposed to express their gratitude to their fathers and brothers for protecting them. However, before the younger brothers can protect their older sisters, it is the older sisters who protect the younger brothers. Another example is that on Women's Day, women are asked to pray for their husbands' longevity, but men are not asked to pray for their wives' longevity.

Thirdly, in Hindi, the relationship between husband and wife is that of master and slave, which can also have a subtle influence.

Men are not born to beat their wives. What makes them violent men? Kalam believes it is the concept.

In traditional concepts, men must be strong, cannot cry, and cannot have weaknesses. This concept also affects women, especially middle-class women. In the eyes of the middle class, women are a burden. Lower-class women may make a big fuss when they are beaten, but middle-class women will help their husbands cover up when they are beaten.

Another common excuse is that men are tired of working to earn money to support the family, so they beat their wives, which is also ridiculous. Surveys show that in any class, wives work longer hours than men. Moreover, the family operates on a cooperative basis, with men earning money and women doing laundry, cooking, managing the household and raising children. There should be equal status based on different divisions of labor.

Although some people accuse Kalam of destroying the family, Kalam still believes that what she did is right and that women should be respected. In cases of domestic violence, women should have self-esteem and the courage to leave, and society and her family should also accept women who leave. Society should set up shelters for such women, and women should also enjoy inheritance rights.

India has introduced an anti-domestic violence bill to address domestic violence. The bill expands the targets of domestic violence to all women in the family, stipulates that men cannot expel women from their homes, and sets up shelters in various places. Balan, the police chief of Haryana, is committed to increasing women's enthusiasm for protecting their rights through the law. More than half of the cases in his police station are domestic violence. He opposes the police using mediation methods to deal with domestic violence cases, believing that this is a heavy blow to women's rights protection.

ps: Are you interested in the governance methods of Duterte, the iron-fisted mayor? If a book is written based on his experience in Davao City, would you be interested? Of course, the political stance and the South China Sea incident will definitely not be like his. To be continued.

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