An Xiulan and Lu Xuan were sitting in his office near the window. He was facing her and she was holding a cup of coffee in her hand. While she was sipping on her coffee, he was staring at her face.
"Lu Xuan, am I looking so pretty that you cannot even take your eyes off me, "An Xiulan said while sipping on her coffee. Although her attention was on the extra sweet coffee that he made for her according to her wishes, she knew that he was weirdly looking at her.
Truth be told he was scaring her with his quietness and gentleness. It was as if he was about to say something that she didn't see coming. Actually, she was fearing many things but using her sarcasm and cute humor, she was suppressing all those feelings. However, for how long would she be able to behave this way? At some time, she had to face the truth and now her own thoughts were scaring her.
What should she do now? It was as if there was no way in front of her. She was lost but she wanted to ahead and see what lied for her. Even though it was something worse, she could not avoid it. At most, she could prolong it. But for how long would she prolong it? At one time, it had to come. And by prolonging her, she was increasing her anxiety and stress.
"Aren't you always pretty?"Lu Xuan asked with a gentle smile as he looked at her. "I don't think that there is someone prettier than my sister."
His tone was not full of sarcasm. He sounded like those doting and nice brothers that he was not. If it was Gu Shangyan, she would have happily taken the compliment but how could she forget that it was Lu Xuan and they were always at each other's necks. They didn't compliment each other like this. Their tools were that of sarcasm and humour. Hearing him say this was just making her more panicked.
An Xiulan pouted and said, "I promise that I will not kill you."
"Huh?" Lu Xuan looked at his sister in confusion. What was she talking about? He could not understand what she was talking about or try to talk.
"Lu Xuan, I know you did something," An Xiulan said, looking at her brother. "If you tell me now, I promise that I will not beat you or scream at you." she pinched her neck and said, "Look, I am swearing that I will listen to you and your point of view. I know that you tend to make me angry too soon with your nonsense but this time i will try my best to calmly listen and then react. If you ask me to not react at all, I won't react at all but please tell me what you are hiding."
Of course, she knew that he was hiding something. She knew that he was going to say something that would render her speechless or something of that sort.
She looked at him again and asked in a soft voice, "Lu Xuan, you did something, did not you?"
Lu Xuan, at this time, could not dare to make eye contact with his sister. His head was lowered and his lips trembled as he began to tell her what he did and what he was going to do.
"Teeny, "He whispered her name. "Do you know why Mr Jiang was angry at me?"
If she knew what he did, would she have defended him outside in front of everyone? Although he did not need anyone to defend him, he swore that when she stood in front of him like a momma bear and hid him behind her and confronted everyone, his heart was filled. She was such a pure soul who had her priorities cleared. She did not care what consequences she might have to deal with later, but she bravely stood up for her family like she always did.
However, this time she would agree to what he had in mind. Would she call him names, scream at him for being hypocrite?
He swore that he had his reasons but would she listen to them?
An Xiulan shook her head. She had no clue about office politics. She did not know many things about Mr Jiang which included what happened today at the conference.
"He wanted to be the one to become ceo of the American branch, "Lu Xuan told her. "But I took away his chance. It is me who will be leaving for America to shoulder the responsibilities that mom left there when she came to China for us."
It was also the reason why An Qinyan immediately left for her office. She did not want to talk to anyone about this. Nobody knew when Lu Xuan pulled the shareholders on his side. From An Qinyan's reaction one could tell that even she was surprised by this.
"I am going to America, "Lu Xuan told her. "And for how long I am going there, I have no clue about it. Will I be able to handle those big responsibilities? I don't know. Maybe I will fail my mother and family but I want to go there. I have to go there. It is the best for me right now."
He had said too many things in the conference today and none of it was true. His reason to go to America had nothing to do with career and trying to progress in it. It had everything to do with him wanting space from everything. He was miserable here. Things were so hard for him that he could not leave his bed before thinking how he would live while facing everything. He just wanted to go away from everyone for a while so he could be sad, depressed and miserable without making his family suffer. At this time, there was nothing in his mind but wanting to run away from this place as far as possible.
…..
A/N:
When we are sad and depresed, we tend to go away from everyone who care for us. Even though we have so many people to care about us there but sometimes we do not want their care or we do not know what to do with it. We just want to feel all those things that we are going through. Sometimes, getting all the care and love make us guilty about feeling bad. We want to feel bad because we won't heal until we go through that fire that burned us but staying with our loved ones would make us suppress us all those things that is a big no no. So, if you need time and want to go away from everyone for a while, you should not feel bad about it. We all deal with grief differently and as long as we heal, nothing matters.
With Love,
Tanu.
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