Shadow of great britain

If one had to answer the question "What is happening in Russia?" in one word, it would be "theft."

——Nikolai Karamzin

Before coming to Russia to experience first-hand the customs and customs of this vast country, I had read more than once in literature about the corruption and arrogance of the country's government agencies and bureaucrats. But for such a large country, simply distinguishing the conduct and character of officials by good officials and bad officials will inevitably lead to overgeneralization.

According to my observation, in terms of personality and temperament, Russian officials are not much different from other countries. Some of them are kind-hearted and gentle, while others are arrogant, brutal, and cruel.

But it is worth noting that no matter what an official's temperament is, they all make a living by taking corruption and bribery, as if they are conquerors from a foreign race and the Russian people are the conquered. The society of Russian bureaucracy is a highly closed system. They tend to and only cooperate with people of the same category, flatter their superiors and bully their subordinates. They love the official hierarchy and automatic promotion mechanism because they themselves are part of it. .

Everything outside their system is viewed by them as a state of frenzied anarchy, and they instinctively reject the overzealous and the cautious, because this system requires everyone to participate in bribery to establish a bond of common responsibility, just like a drunkard As much as he dislikes sober companions, a thief feels uncomfortable in the presence of honest people.

Corruption is common in all countries, but there is a special phenomenon in Russian officialdom that I have not seen in other countries.

Russian officials naturally distinguish corruption income into "innocent income" and "guilty income", and the identity of the victim becomes an important criterion for distinguishing the two.

"Sinful income" refers to income obtained at the expense of the Crown, such as misappropriation of government funds or deliberate falsification of certain data required by the government.

"Innocent income" refers to income obtained at the expense of social welfare, including money obtained by blackmailing people, and bribes collected in judicial trials to favor the party who paid the bribe in the trial of the case. This kind of money is usually It comes in the form of expedited fees, which are tips charged to expedite matters between citizens and governments.

Ironically, when accepting "guilty" bribes, it is not uncommon for the bribed official to follow an unwritten fee schedule and to be given change.

According to my personal experience, government inspectors will ruthlessly hold officials responsible for harming national interests, that is, obtaining "criminal income," and deal with them severely. However, if the injured party is a civilian, they will rarely come forward to seek justice unless it causes a major social impact. This has almost become a routine in Russia.

——Arthur Hastings, "Routine Diplomatic Report of 1834"

In the study room of the mayor's residence, the bookshelves are filled with all kinds of insignificant documents, and the candlelight flickers by the stove.

In the center of the study, there is an oak card table decorated with red paint and green cloth.

Seven or eight Tsarist Russian officials in black evening gowns sat around the card table, with a deck of cards spread out on the table.

The officials were sitting or standing, their faces full of vigilance and expectation.

After all, everyone knows in their hearts that today is not a simple gambling entertainment, it is more like a silent political battlefield, a contest of endurance and scheming.

Among the group of people, the most relaxed one is Colonel Hestingov, who has a convincing aristocratic demeanor.

He held a cigar in his mouth, and his fingertips occasionally slipped over the cards in his hand. From time to time, one or two contemptuous French sentences popped out of his mouth, with a smooth and clear tone, and clear syllable endings. If you listen carefully, it is definitely the most authentic Parisian accent.

Mayor Bakalkin fiddled with the cigarette ashes on the table from time to time. When it was his turn to play the cards, he saw his fingertips pause slightly on the cards, thinking for a moment, and then hesitantly pulled out a card and slowly pushed it. to the desktop.

"Mr. Mayor, you are really unlucky today." Arthur spread out his cards and threw them on the table: "I won again."

The mayor pretended to be distressed, holding his forehead and sighing. He took out his wallet from his arms, took out three rubles and put them on the table: "Oh! What bad luck I have! Colonel, you play your cards really well."

Arthur snapped his fingers, and the inspector behind him, who was acting as a minion, hurriedly put away the rubles for him.

At the end, Arthur did not forget to tell him: "Alexey Portunovich, you lent me the gambling money. As we agreed, I will take two-thirds and you will take one-third."

How could the inspector dare to accept this money? He bent down and politely refused with a smile: "It's your ability to win money. How can I take one third of it from you?"

Unexpectedly, Arthur couldn't help but said: "You can accept it if I ask you to accept it. I always speak with credibility. By the way, if any of you get tired of playing, you can change it to Alexey Portunovich." Come on, I see he’s getting anxious next to me.”

Arthur finished speaking, but for a long time he couldn't see anyone coming down from the card table.

The mayor took the lead and said: "How can this be done? I haven't had all the fun yet. Colonel, you told me before that you didn't know how to play Talbot. Now it seems that you must have lied to me. Even if Even in Petersburg, you must be one of the best card players!"

Arthur took a puff of his cigarette: "I really didn't lie to you. In Petersburg, we played Kelder, Hunter and Paris more. How about we change the game?"

Arthur's words were really not a compliment to these officials. His poker skills had been strictly trained by Talleyrand, the French ambassador to the UK. If it weren't for that old man who traveled to various diplomatic occasions all year round, Arthur would never have learned how to do this. Lots of card games to play.

But when Arthur suggested changing the game, the mayor and others seemed hesitant.

This is not because they don’t know how to play Kelder, Hunter and Paris, but because Kelder is a game in which winning or losing is determined by the player’s card type. Hunter’s gameplay is similar to blackjack, and Paris is similar to Texas Hold’em.

If you want to play these three games, the mayor and others will not be able to control the winning and losing, let alone ensure that the imperial envoy will have a sense of accomplishment if he wins.

The gameplay of Talbot is relatively complex, involving skills, strategies, social interaction and psychology. As the best Talbot players in Druisk, they can lose however they want, and they can also lose in different ways. No matter what, the imperial envoy can have a great time.

Arthur naturally understood what they were thinking in their hearts, so he stopped mentioning it, and instead gathered the cards together and started shuffling them: "Actually, I arrived in Druisk, which is really a blessing for you. "

After hearing this, the officials scolded each other in their hearts, but on the surface they still had to give false compliments: "You are saying that people like you who are upright, just, and fair in dealing with things are rare nowadays. "

Arthur raised his brows, stared at them one after another, until everyone was sweating, and then chuckled: "Don't believe it. I am indeed not a perfect person, but at least, like me, You can deal with it, because I still understand the truth. If there is a case that I am not sure about, I will tell you directly. However, the annoying thing is that some people seem to be upright and good, but they have no ability to handle the matter. . When the matter is in his hands, nothing will happen.

If you give him a reasonable opinion, not only will he not thank you, but he will get angry and kick his four hooves like a calf. He would say: ‘You beasts know nothing! If you don’t know how to behave, then look at me. Have you ever seen a good person like me? ’ This kind of person thinks he is upright and well-educated, and thinks that based on these virtues, he should be treated as a god. Everyone is a bunch of chickens, but he is the phoenix among the chickens.

If you really believed his lies, you would regard him as your savior! Then just take a look! This group of people can tell you the truth, and they will also brag to you about the tricks they can pull off and turn around a bunch of losers. But when he started to do it, his face turned red and white, and he was so dizzy that he had no idea. Either hesitantly saying ‘this’ or ‘that’, or just saying yes twice. "

Speaking of this, Arthur also gave them an example: "We have such a person there. He only knows how to quote scriptures and prefers to make arguments. This is his specialty. But once it comes to serious matters, Look! The muscles in his calves turned. When I sent him down, he was quite angry and yelling, but then he became silent and gave up. Complaining, who is talking about? He was ignorant and treated a talented man like him like a horse to pull dirt, saying that this was a job for coolies and junior clerks, while he should just sit down. Up there, oiling the wheels of this whole machine. He would never have thought that if such thoughts were in everyone's mind, everyone would become a well-educated person. So, who will do the hard work?"

The officials of Druisk were also human beings. No matter whether the examples Arthur gave them were true or false, they planned to follow the words.

Mayor Bakalkin coughed, wiped the sweat from his forehead, and answered with a smile: "You are absolutely right, it is true. It is inevitable that there are some officials in every place who are not worthy of their name. They keep talking about integrity and virtue, but in fact But he lacks the ability to do his job. He only talks about advanced theories to people all day long, but in the end he can't do anything practical. "

He glanced at the colleagues sitting next to him, with a hint of subtle cunning in his eyes.

Arthur's fingertips tapped the card table: "No, let me tell you, this is not because of incompetence, nor because of stupidity, but because of lack of independent opinions, lack of patience, and lack of diligence! He always thinks that doing things is child's play, Thought the fried grouse would fly into him on its own In his mouth, he always likes to see the world through his own eyes. This is really nonsense! When you arrive in a new place, you have to learn from it first, and then you should grasp the customs and customs. Once you grasp it, it won't be able to escape and it will be at your disposal!

Now, if he were sent to investigate some case again, do you think he would be willing to go? No! You can't even drag him with five donkeys to drive him hundreds of miles away! He was willing to go there for the first time because he didn't know what it was like to be there. I thought that when I got there, I could use my imagination to the fullest, and the local people would definitely listen to him respectfully.

Little did he know that to accomplish anything, sincerity alone is not enough. It also requires diligence and knowledge. Don't think the soil is dirty. You have to break it open and take a look at it. After looking at it carefully, you can put your nose in it. Suppose you have fair and fair hands, wearing gloves, and your nose is turned up high. Well, wear your gloves, but don't try to get anything done. "

The officials were hesitant at first, but after hearing this, even the stupidest people understood what the colonel meant.

The mayor couldn't help but beam with joy. He knew that when he was in the tavern, the colonel was just acting on occasion.

Inspections are still the same as before. As long as the delay in construction of the Charity Hospital Church is not revealed, the rest are minor issues and can only be criticized and educated at most.

Alas!

In my opinion, the tunnels of Petersburg are even cleaner than the streets of Druisk!

The judge who was transferred to Druisk only three years ago spoke in agreement.

"Don't tell me! I met such a person when I was working in Sloning. Once he went to Sloning to inspect the work of the city council, so he summoned all the leading figures from all walks of life in the local area. Go and lecture everyone at the meeting for a long time, saying that everything here is terrible and despicable! He wanted to check the business, so he visited all the shops and even inspected the hawkers on the street. , saying that is totally wrong.

That day he went to the market and pointed at people, saying that this should sell needles, threads, and that should sell perfume, and he decided on his own initiative to assign trades to everyone. I also went to various factories to check the number of workers and count the number of dye barrels. Everywhere he goes, he picks his nose and scolds people. He singled out a factory owner and told him: 'You are a citizen, so you should reduce the number of workers in the factory. ’ The people tried to persuade him earnestly and said: ‘Maybe it should be like this, but we can’t start work because there are fewer workers! ’

But as for him, he doesn't care about this. He insisted on making excuses but it didn't make sense, so he kept a straight face and kept mumbling about what this had to do with me. If he was dissatisfied, he could go to the Tsar's Majesty. If he does this, he can't help others talking behind his back. But I have also seen good inspections, those who are truly wise. Just like you, when they see that local businesses are really in trouble, they find loopholes in the terms and conditions so that everything can continue as usual. Do.

But that person, I don’t know whether he is blind or deaf, can’t see the things in front of him, and doesn’t listen to the great truth! Besides, they are all of the same style. They are gesticulating and being in charge of their heads and brains, either telling you to go here or there. Otherwise, if you open your mouth, it will be: nonsense, don't go, sit down. Otherwise: nonsense, get up, don't sit down. A few words completely confused us.

There were some good pastures in Sloning, but he gave an order to take them away and return them to the public. If you say you want it, fine, just bid and buy it. The pasture designated for grazing by the people below was replaced by a burnt wasteland, as bare as a bald man's head, leaving no one with anything to eat for their livestock. There is obviously a small forest, but they are not allowed to go in to cut firewood, and they are not allowed to pick up even a small piece of wood. In order to express his achievements to the superiors and show the results of his inspection, he asked if he could also charge for water! Such an approach is nothing more than acting for the public. It is simply asking for God’s forgiveness. It’s just nonsense! "

At this point, the judge opened his mouth and spat. It was obvious that he had not been able to tolerate this situation for a long time.

After saying this, the judge remembered that this might have been an overstep, so he hurriedly changed his words: "Of course, I just mentioned it casually. If Petersburg really ordered to collect water money, then if you give the order, we will definitely Strictly enforce it.”

However, what the judge didn't expect was that instead of reprimanding him, Arthur listened to his complaints with great interest and asked emphatically: "What's your name?"