Shadow of the Beautiful World

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Hell's Kitchen Block, St. Matthew's Church.

One Merlin is making a final farewell with his family, and two Merlin are preparing their final weapons in the mysterious house.

But there was another Merlin sitting quietly in the last row of the old church.

That is the real Merlin.

He was sitting alone in the last row of chairs as he had come to this church countless times in the past.

He did not come here for confession, but simply wanted to find inner peace.

Or sigh with emotion and understanding of life in order to calm down your heart in the upcoming final battle.

But he couldn't find it.

He couldn't forget what happened today after closing his eyes.

On this day, Merlin's world has changed.

Like ordinary people who fear change, Merlin once thought he was firm enough.

No longer afraid of the pressure from life, but Merlin didn't find out until fate opened a big, full of malicious jokes with him.

He will also feel anxious and uneasy about the future.

Today's New York, and now the city, is really not a suitable day for church.

Especially in the Hell’s Kitchen block, the Cybertron battles with the Hydra had already messed up the block, and most people hid in nearby shelters.

Some people also went to Queens, where it is said that there were groups of mutants who established a safe line of defense and accommodated ordinary people.

In short, the church of St. Matthew is quiet.

Only Merlin sat in the church alone...

Uh, wrong, two.

Another nun is kneeling in front of the icon and praying.

"Sister Maggie is so sincere?"

Merlin asked softly:

"Who is she praying for? For herself? For her husband who has died? Or for her son?"

"Don't be so mean, Merlin."

A slightly older voice rang behind Merlin, and Paul, the old priest of Hell's Kitchen, held the Bible as usual and walked into the church.

The priest remained calm as usual when the whole city was already in chaos.

He behaved as if nothing had happened. He came from outside the door and stood beside Merlin.

Looking at the praying nun in front of the church, he said:

"Maggie is a silent and poorly expressed person, but maybe you should change your impression of her..."

"is it?"

Merlin said softly:

"She didn't attend the funeral of her husband, her son lived a few blocks away, and I never saw a gift come over on Matt's birthday..."

"You asked me to treat her as a good person, how could this be possible? Father."

"A person who doesn't care about his loved ones, hides his faith and evades responsibility..."

Merlin looked up. He looked at the old priest. He asked:

"What reason should I respect her? Just because she is sincere?"

"Hush! Merlin."

The old priest shook his head. He sat next to Merlin. He made a silence gesture and said:

"The Lord is watching, don't say such things in the church..."

"But speaking of it, why are you here? Shouldn't you be with your family at this time?"

Father Paul asked:

"You sent them to a safe place?"

"They will be safe."

Merlin leaned back in his chair, he said:

"And I'm with them... talk to me, priest, I'm in a bad mood now."

"It can be seen."

The old priest chuckled and put the Bible aside, he said:

"You are not a person who likes to stab at ordinary times. Looking at your expression, you should have encountered a very troublesome thing? What about it? Work? Or is the disaster happening in the city?"

"Both."

Merlin said in a low tone:

"Father, me, I used to be very simple and always thought I was doing good deeds..."

"You are indeed doing good deeds."

The priest said:

"As far as your help to the children in the orphanage is concerned, there will be no better people in this neighborhood than you. The better people in this city are estimated to be few."

"Listen to me, priest."

Merlin shook his head with a smile. He looked at the icon in the church in front of him. He said:

"But just a few hours ago, I suddenly realized that I was actually a string puppet who always wanted to finish work quickly. There was always someone behind me... I hated that feeling.

"Actually speaking, I realized this very early."

Merlin took out a cigarette but did not light it.

He placed the cigarette under his nose and sniffed lightly. He said:

"I realized very early, those disasters..."

"Those in the news, or those you don't know, but those that have actually happened, those disasters, are more or less related to me..."

"Do you believe in God? Father."

Merlin's question twitched the corner of Father Paul's eyes.

He seriously doubted whether Merlin had drunk too much, and actually in the church, asked a person who had been a priest for decades to believe in God.

But looking at Merlin's serious eyes, the priest realized that Merlin's question had no deep meaning.

He thought for a moment, then said:

"Of course, I believe in God,"

"But I won't push everything on my god. Faith is my own business, just as my life is my own."

"I thank God for giving me life, but I also know that my life needs to live by myself. Whether it is happiness or pain, I need to bear it myself."

"Well, it's sensible."

Merlin nodded. He pointed to the sky. He said:

"My trouble comes from the **** who lives above the sky..."

"Don’t look at me with this look, priest, come on, don’t pretend, we have known each other for almost 20 years, I don’t believe you can’t feel my anomalies..."

Merlin held out his fingers, and a dark red flame of flame burst out between him.

The stunned expression of Father Paul around him changed, and after a few seconds, the priest coughed.

He eased his mind and said to Merlin:

"Okay, you continue to say, what's wrong with those'gods'?"

"They, they are playing a game."

Merlin said in a calm tone:

"There must always be pieces in the game, there must always be bets, this world is their chessboard, and there is only one piece..."

"Do you understand what I mean? Father, I am not bragging."

There was a smile on Merlin's face. He said to the priest:

"This disaster, these confusions, those past, they used a challenge to shape a destiny, they are having fun, but they do not care about the feelings of the son of destiny."

"And now, that fate has entered the fork."

"Choice...choice brings results, but none of the choices satisfied me, so I was thinking...would I make my own choice."

"Do I want to resist it?"

The priest frowned and listened to Merlin's words. Seriously, what Merlin said was unbelievable to him.

The old priest thought for a few seconds, he said to Merlin:

"I can't answer you, because if this choice is really so important, I don't think I should influence you."

"Ok."

Merlin sighed and said:

"Then you should be a listener."

"I'm thinking now, in my previous life, every time I chose to accept a task, have I ever chosen to refuse? Have I ever had the power to refuse?"

"I have calmed down and thought about it, or asked myself, who is it, for what purpose, let me do this and that..."

Merlin looked at his open hand and at the white fingers.

He could even smell the **** smell in his fingers, thick, drowning...

He said to the priest:

"Now I think about it carefully, and I understand that everything I do for my boss, or once "friends", makes this world one step further from turbulence... "

"That's not what I think...peace, order, beauty, that's not."

"That's just the illusion that the shadow behind me is embedded in my head..."

"It's a vain gadget, it never appeared through my hand. The harder I tried, the more I fell into it, like chasing the unreachable sun."

The old priest beside Merlin listened quietly.

He already understood that Merlin didn’t need to appear here to find answers.

He has made a choice.

All he needs is a listener.

Father Paul has a good sense of Merlin. They have known each other for almost 20 years. Merlin is his friend.

Regardless of what Merlin had to do, the priest felt he might not be able to help.

But at least he can listen to Merlin's inner troubles and tangles here, which will allow Merlin to face everything that is about to happen with a calmer mind.

As a friend, he can only do this.

"The bad guys, the villains in the city, and the master behind them, they are just a small group of...children."

Merlin frowned and came up with a suitable adjective. He said to the priest:

"We can say so. They are eager to pay attention and deliberately use fear to dominate the direction of public opinion. They don't care about what they show, but they actually care about other people's thoughts or feelings."

"That's the meaning of their existence, just like a seemingly powerful shadow, they only need a ray of light to make them completely disappear. They are never a big problem."

"But sorry, those...the gods don't care!"

"They don't care what anybody in this world thinks or feels."

"In my current experience, even if these two things appear in their minds, they will never last too long. This disrespect for life, to be honest, makes me very..."

"anger."

Merlin said softly:

"That is after all what I have been guarding for the past ten years, so they are trampled by them, stepped into the mud, and torn, just because they want me to follow their ideas."

"Alas, I might learn more ruthlessly, but not everyone is lucky enough to see their origin..."

He opened his hands and said to the priest around him:

"A world is shaped only because I need to live, be born and grow... this world exists because of me, priest."

"My birth bears the heavy fate and death disaster that ordinary people can't imagine, and my life is also atonement for it."

"I want to keep going and do more to weaken my guilt... continue to deceive myself."

"I may be a cowardly person. Only by living in a lie can I bring myself closer to my ideals."

Merlin closed his eyes and summed up like a dream:

"But those sins are too many..."

Father Paul had been listening quietly, but when he finally heard Merlin's last helpless conclusion, he couldn't help it.

The old priest reached out and patted Merlin's arm. He said to Merlin:

"I can't imagine your experience, Merlin, nor can I bring myself into your vision to see all this, after all, I am just an ordinary person."

"But in my faith, I think my God created everyone with a purpose, do you understand?"

"He wants you and me to have your place in this world..."

Merlin glanced at the priest. He didn't want to argue, but after a few seconds, he said:

"So, why does your God put a demon into my heart?"

"Why now I can feel that in my soul, in my heart, there is a devil desperately trying to rush out?"

"It is howling and urging me to destroy everything rudely, and then use my hands to rebuild the perfect world in my heart?"

Merlin's tone became intense, and he asked:

"The two voices have been entangled, do you understand?"

"One makes me embrace the powers that can help me and eliminate all this with a strong force; the other is making me destroy the things that make me uncomfortable... Oh, yes, there is a third voice!"

Merlin clenched his fists and said:

"The third voice makes me quit!"

"Like a coward, at the expense of being wronged, to get everything back on track..."

"Why? Explain, priest, why do those voices appear, and why do I feel hesitant?"

The priest was not angry.

Instead, he patiently explained to Merlin:

"Maybe, those clumsy demons just want to awaken your human side, maybe it is the plan of those gods, this is the real struggle in your heart, so that you can recognize your true self!"

"Do you know? Merlin."

"There is only one thing that can make people really understand themselves, that is the kind of fear that the devil is about to catch up with him, the fear and consternation in the face of disaster, the entanglement and hesitation in making difficult choices."

The priest said:

"Perhaps, they give you a demon and give you pressure, not just to make you choose, but to make you more clearly aware of the role you play in this world."

"Are you going to be a ruler? Be a destroyer? Be an escaper?"

Father Paul reached out and nodded in Merlin's heart. He said:

"Or follow your own will and be a...um, rebel?"

"Or, broken shackles! Give freedom to everyone, to yourself, to the liberator of this world?"

Merlin's eyes flicked.

He looked at Father Paul. He pursed his lips and shook his head. He said:

"I don't think those guys will be so kind... but your explanation is a bit interesting."

"Well, I admit, I'm actually a little scared."

Merlin's expression became relaxed, and he said to the priest:

"I'm worried that I just won't go back...I'm more worried that everyone will forget me so quietly, just like what happened."

"After all, I want to do something that nobody has ever done."

"Well... if it's just fear."

The priest blinked and said to Merlin:

"I might be able to help, but do you still have time? Listen to an old man telling stories from the past."

"time?"

Merlin sensed the progress of what was going on at home and in the mysterious house. He said to the priest:

"There's some left."

"Speak, priest, I listen."

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