Stunned for You

Fu Sitian's breathing unconsciously paused for a moment. The name "Jiang Cunxi" contains too many complicated memories. It is the beautiful beginning of her encounter with Shi Yi, but it is also the end of Shi Yi's complete denial of her pain. For a long time, Shi Yiqi's contemptuous expression of reading these three words word by word on her lips was the blunt knife that repeatedly tortured herself with insomnia at midnight.

For a time, she couldn't find the meaning of her existence, she couldn't find the sense of identity with herself, and she didn't understand what kind of monster, what kind of existence, "Jiang Cunxi", who deceived herself and lived while wearing the mask of "Fu Sitian".

"Did your mother give you the name?" Shi Yi started talking naturally.

Fu Sitian overcame the lingering palpitations in his heart, and answered Shi Yi's neck: "Well, she took it. It means the dawn of existence and the hope of existence."

Shi Yi said: "It has a beautiful meaning."

Fu Sitian smiled lightly. This reminded her after a long absence, as if she was born in love and hope in the first place-father's and mother's.

"My parents were gone when my mother was very young. Her grandparents pulled her up. When she was fifteen or sixteen years old, her grandfather passed away, and her grandma was very old, so she followed the neighbor's family. My sister dropped out of school and went to work. When she was 18 years old, she worked as a wine seller in the dance hall. She met my dad who was hanging out with classmates. By chance, my dad helped her out. Two people watched. It's right. But, my grandma doesn't like my mother. My father still fights with the harassers outside of school because of protecting my mother. He was charged to the school. After remembering the big mistake, my grandma was so angry that he broke off. His source of income. When they were pregnant with me, their lives were the worst. But they couldn't bear to get rid of it, so my father secretly dropped out of school, bought some groceries, and sold things in the streets every day."

"When my mother knew about it, dropping out was a foregone conclusion. She was distressed and moved by his efforts, so the two of them lived together without a certificate or a drink, in the name of a husband and wife."

"By the time I was about to be born, my mother had reached the age of marriage. My dad wanted to go back and steal the account book and get married. My mom didn't agree. She told my dad that she didn't want to use this method to enter the door, and she didn't want to get my grandma forever. My dad believed it, and the marriage was put on hold."

"What about the reality?" Shi Yi caught the point.

Fu Sitian had a faint gentleness in his eyes: "Actually, my mother thinks it has delayed my father too much and wants to leave him a way out."

Shi Yi's accident was not an accident, and he let out a helpless sigh: "I know who your stupidity is inherited from."

Fu Sitian smiled reluctantly and rubbed her forehead against her chin, dissatisfied: "You scold my mother."

Shi Yi played with the nightgown belt on her waist, feeling confident: "What? Are you going to file a complaint with her?"

Fu Sitian smiled and acquiesced to her arrogance. She raised her hand and placed the back of Shi Yi’s hand, and continued: “So, my parents have not actually been married, and my mother gave birth to children out of wedlock. My grandmother was unhappy that my father couldn’t give me the title of mother. I took my mother’s last name. It seems to be to irritate my grandmother. Because I didn’t officially register, the last name didn’t matter, and my father felt wronged, so he agreed."

That's how Jiang Cunxi was born.

"They sound like they are in love." Shi Yi wanted to ask what happened afterwards. Her father still sounds hard to connect with the rumored vicious "murderer". However, she was afraid of hitting Fu Sitian's sore spot.

Fu Sitian's eyes darkened: "At the beginning, it's always good."

"Later after I was born, the two of them did have a happy and practical life. By the time I was two or three years old, my dad met a friend and invited him to set up a store to do business together. My dad was so complacent, and my mother couldn't bear to play with it. Cold water, he agreed that he put all his savings in and borrowed another sum of money. As a result, his friend lied to him, and they lost everything. My dad couldn’t accept it, so he went out early and returned every day and wanted to find it. That friend recovered the money, but he didn’t see him. He was beaten and humiliated. From then on, my dad fell into a slump, became extreme, suspicious, and believes no one. My mother did it for the sake of life and humiliation. I paid off my debts and went to a friend’s dance hall to sell alcohol. My dad couldn’t accept the rumors of the neighbors. The two began to quarrel frequently. My dad thought that my mom just thought he was incapable, and vowed to swear that he would show her a personality. As a result, he borrowed a high interest rate loan to gamble and owe more and more. He also made a group of friends and friends, and became addicted to drugs, completely devoid of humanity. Later...he was committed because of drug addiction. He was caught and jailed because his negligence during the robbery caused death."

At the end of Fu Sitian's speech, his voice was almost inaudible. "Shi Yi..." She said: "I was afraid, I was afraid, I was afraid."

"When you were cut off by your mother, and when you were deprived of your place in the postgraduate program, I was particularly afraid. My grandmother often said that if my father did not meet my mother, he would not be alone with my mother. It ended up like this."

She covered the back of Shi Yi's hand, wet and cold, in painful cold sweat, "I often dream, dreaming that you were taken away like my dad. I am afraid that we will repeat the mistakes of my parents. The reality is not. It will be a fairy tale. I understood this a long time ago."

Shi Yi's heart seemed to be held tightly by something, and he couldn't breathe.

She squeezed her shoulders and arms, and took Fu Sitian completely into her arms, "Why didn't you tell me?" In addition to reproach, her tone was more of love and pity, "Don't you ask my opinion?"

Fu Sitian nestled in her arms, clutching her nightdress, her chest was astringent and warm.

Because I can't say it.

It was also because, afterwards, Shi Yi did not give her an attitude that could speak out.

She didn't argue, just said: "I know your answer. It's me, and the mental burden is too heavy."

Shi Yi didn't know what to do with her. This has always been the case, but in fact she understands the truth, she just can't let go. Shi Yi is really too gentle, kind, loving and hating her.

"Jiang Cunxi." She called her real name.

Fu Sitian raised his head to look at Shi Yi's cold and soft face, and heard her say: "The reality may indeed not be a fairy tale."

"But our story can be."

"I used to say that if I let it be, it will definitely be." Shi Yi's tone was still calm, but a little frustrated, "Now, I admit that whether it is a fairy tale or a nightmare, it turns out that the right to decide never belongs to me. "

"Good or bad is just a lifetime." Almost all the weaknesses in life were given to Fu Sitian. She asked: "This time, can you give me a new answer?"

Fu Sitian was moved.

She opened her mouth, bit her lip again, and opened her mouth again, only then did she respond in a low voice: "I can."

Shi Yi looked at her fixedly, as if to look into her bones: "I don't want to be perfunctory, don't force, and don't want a momentary sweet talk." She frowned slightly, tender and hard, like a request, and like a command." I want to listen to the truth, your truth."

Fu Sitian stared at her, his fists slowly tightened, his gentle eyes showed firmness: "I can. Shi Yi, I can."

Shi Yi frowned slightly and asked, "What can you do?"

Fu Sitian raised his hand to stroke the small folds of her eyebrows, and slowly burst into a smile: "I can give you happiness."

"Shi Yi, I can." Her eyes flashed brightly, exhaling blue.

Shi Yi looked at her, without blinking, suddenly stretched out his brows completely, stretched out her hand, put her hand on the bed, and kissed her, biting hard, fierce and tangling, Fu Sitian Can't stand it at all.

"Trust you again." Shi Yi murmured against the tip of her nose.

Fu Sitian was breathing fast, his lips were shiny, and his eyes were as deep as the sea. She lifted Shi Yi's forehead, curled her smiley eyes, said nothing, and responded with a passionate kiss back.

The temperature was rising, and the air was full of sweet and greasy breath. Fu Sitian easily reached the first time.

Shi Yi had a taste of the marrow, and couldn't help but ask for it again, still unfinished. But I was worried that Fu Sitian was frightened in the daytime, and if he would wake up early tomorrow, he would not be able to bear it, so he restrained and wanted to endure it.

Unexpectedly, it gave Fu Sitian extra energy to do bad things.

When Shi Yi reacted, he was already defeated.

Under the bright moonlight outside the window, the awning boat docked quietly on the bank of the river. The night breeze continued and slowly moved the canopy of the boat, not swiftly, but still at a certain moment, accidentally blew the boat's hull and caused ripples in the river. It took a long time to stop.

Fu Sitian came again.

Shi Yi almost couldn't stand it anymore. In her eyes blurred with tears, she saw that Fu Sitian bent down to kiss her, her soft hair falling down like a waterfall, she softened her eyes and smiled at her, brilliant and pure and charming.

It is wanton and deceptive that has never been seen before.

Shi Yi tightened Fu Sitian's shoulders, bit her shoulders, and shivered fragilely in her arms.

Fu Sitian hugged her, awkwardly but gently kissed her face and ears, comforted her, so satisfying that his soul seemed to melt with her.

Shi Yi calmed down, kissed the tooth mark on Fu Sitian's shoulder, and lay face to side with Fu Sitian, smiling at each other, with a soft heart.

There was a little blushing heartbeat ashamed.

She was... a little too fast...

Shi Yi forced himself to be calm and teased Fu Sitian in a sexy, lazy, dumb tone: "Jiang Lai Lai."

Fu Sitian responded softly: "Huh?"

He returned to his usual meek and innocent appearance.

Shi Yi raised an eyebrow and asked, "Did you secretly practice on yourself?"

Fu Sitian was caught off guard, and the roots of the already red ears instantly turned red as if dripping blood. "I didn't." She was ashamed and funny.

Shi Yi seemed to be smiling but not smiling, his eyes suspicious.

Fu Sitian hugged Shi Yi and buried her head in her neck to act like a baby.

Shi Yi thought she was embarrassed, and was about to continue teasing her, when she suddenly heard her say softly in front of her: "I really don't."

"Shi Yi, I just miss you very much. I think about you every day. To love you and please you is an instinct like breathing."

"Have you heard anyone say that breathing needs to be practiced?"

She was just on the verge of suffocation.

Breathe harder and harder.