Tang's dining table
Chapter 1177 Just waiting to see your joke
The flower bear that Li Zhi had raised for more than ten years was bigger than any flower bear that Yun Chu had ever seen, and it was much bigger. It was fully qualified to be called a giant bear.
Also, a flower bear with a body length of two meters and a weight of at least 500 kilograms is completely ready for riding.
Li Zhi rode a giant bear straight to Yun Chu's cell.
He looked down at Yun Chu, who was squatting on the ground and chewing peaches, and waved, "Let's go."
Yunchu immediately put the half-eaten peach in his mouth, took two washed peaches from the basket, stuffed one into the giant bear's mouth, and handed the other to Li Zhi.
Li Zhi didn't mind it, so he took it and held it in his hand, patting the head of the giant bear who was busy chewing peaches. The giant bear turned around in the narrow corridor, chewing peaches and walked out.
The further they went out, the fewer people followed them. After they left the prison and entered the palace city, the only person waiting around them was Ruichun.
Li Zhi took a bite of the peach and said, "Have you been having a bad time recently?"
Yun Chu said: "Betrayed by my subordinates, my son is a bastard, and my apprentice is a fool who does stupid things. How can I be better?"
Li Zhi casually threw away the peach core, but Ruichun caught it in the air.
Li Zhi said: "Let's just make do with it. I won't be any better. My son wants to be the emperor soon and is recruiting people from all over the world to arrange his team. My wife is afraid that if I die, she will be bullied by others, and she has also made a bunch of people. He seizes power everywhere and treats me like a dead person every day.
Hahaha, they come to greet me every day, saying they care about my health, but in fact, they just come to see if I am dead. They are really fighting. "
Yun Chu smiled and said: "Then continue to live well. It is also a great pleasure to watch them hate you and treat you helplessly."
Li Zhi laughed loudly and said: "There are not many people in this world who want me to live well, and you are one of them."
Yun Chu nodded and said, "That's true."
Li Zhi smiled and said: "If you wish me good health, I also wish you peace. It is a heart-for-heart thing, but not many people understand it."
Yun Chu laughed and said: "Your Majesty is in the palace. There are many people in the world who wish you safety and health. It's just that I am relatively close to the palace and your majesty can see it."
Li Zhi nodded and said: "The Tang Dynasty is pretty good now, and there should be many people who think of me well."
Yun Chu smiled and said: "Over the years, the taxes of the ten Taoists of the Tang Dynasty have been exempted for one year and two months on average. Looking through the history books, only the period of Emperor Jing of the Han Dynasty can compare slightly."
Li Zhi smiled with satisfaction and said: "It's true. Nowadays, as long as the taxes of the country are enough, I really have no interest in collecting taxes from the people.
However, I am very interested in taxing the rich.
If only the rich were taxed and no taxes were collected from ordinary people, I would be happy to see it happen. But unfortunately, the majority of taxes will always come from ordinary people. Thinking of this makes people unhappy. "
Yun Chu said: "Your Majesty, wait a few more years, and when the imperial tax has become a very small part of people's income, your Majesty will not have to feel guilty."
Li Zhi looked at Yunchu in confusion and said, "When did I feel guilty about collecting taxes?"
Yun Chu spread his hands and said, "Didn't your Majesty just say..."
Li Zhi waved his sleeves and said: "Whether you are happy or not has nothing to do with guilt. From now on, don't let the wind come to you. I also found that you have been very flattering recently, and you are about to become a flatterer."
Yun Chu stopped and said, "If Your Majesty decrees marriage now and allows An Ding to marry Quan Zi, Your Majesty will immediately see an upright Yun Chu."
Li Zhi slid off the back of the giant bear, looked at Yun Chu helplessly and said: "My face has been taken off, can I still put it back on?"
Yun Chu said resolutely: "Okay, it's just a special matter."
Li Zhi slapped the giant bear on the head and drove it away before whispering: "Your son slept with my daughter without getting married. How can I not deal with that bastard son of yours?" Are you willing?"
Yun Chu also lowered his voice and said: "Your Majesty's bastard son slept with my sister and even has a child. Your Majesty, won't you consider my feelings?"
Li Zhi smiled dryly and said: "It's just a matter of love."
Yun Chu said: "The same is true for Yun Jin and Sisi."
"I gave Yun Na an unparalleled vast Buddhist kingdom in the Western Region."
"I also trained a stupid big-headed Li Si to become the top talent of our Tang Dynasty. In the whole world, there is no woman who can surpass Li Si in both academic and practical skills."
"Asshole, Li Si doesn't want to be your daughter-in-law. What he has learned is not an advantage for you Yun."
"Your Majesty is being unreasonable. Guan Yun, a huge Buddhist country in the Western Regions, is such a mess. Your bastard prince sent nearly a thousand officials at once to help Yun Na manage the Buddhist Kingdom in the Western Regions. What is the fate of the Buddhist Kingdom in the Western Regions? It was clear at a glance whether his surname was Li or Yun.
Your Majesty must never act obediently even if you get an advantage. Doing so will make the humble ministers despise you. "
Hearing that the emperor and Yun Chu started to quarrel, Ruichun took the giant bear a few steps outside.
Li Zhi chuckled and said: "Idiot Yun Na was raised by you, the bastard prince was born by me and taught by you, your bastard son was born by you and taught by you, and stupid Li Si was born by me. That's right, but you raised me and taught me.
Come on, let's have a good fight and see who makes more mistakes. "
Hearing what the emperor said, Yun Chu had no choice but to sigh. He really had nothing to say. Li Zhi was right. He, Yun Chu, was indeed mainly responsible for this mess of accounts.
Li Zhi took advantage of the victory and pursued him: "Yo yo yo, I also heard that your etiquette teacher's favorite thing to do is to climb the wall in the middle of the night to have a private meeting with his lover, not to mention that this lover is also a wanted criminal in the court.
Come on, Yunchu, explain to me why your etiquette teacher climbed on the wall, and why your groom was a wanted criminal in the court.
Can such an etiquette teacher teach a good child?
The prince hooked up with your sister, and Yun Jin hooked up with my daughter. It’s hard to say it’s not the teacher’s fault. "
Yun Chu said angrily: "Your Majesty keeps saying that we, kings and ministers, get along well with each other. Why do my family have so many Baiqisi people? Why do we have more Baiqisi spies than officials in my Wannian County Government? The most important thing is, even if I am After being exposed, people still boasted that they were loyal to the imperial court.
Your Majesty, if you believe me, you will believe it to the end. What’s the point of half trusting and half guarding? "
Li Zhi looked at the furious Yun Chu with a smile, and said lightly: "Assign Baiqisi to go to your house, and the person who goes to your Yamen is the queen. Don't slap me on the head, I still trust you. "
Yun Chu was left speechless by the emperor's words of betraying his wife without any psychological barriers. After a long time, he raised his thumb and said: "Your Majesty is smart."
Li Zhi gritted his teeth and smiled: "You can also put the responsibility on your wife Yu Xiurong."
Yun Chu sighed and said, "I can't do such a thing."
Li Zhi said in an instructive tone: "The mistress of a big family is not a wife, she is someone who is specially used to take the blame. Look at how many people in the court have thrown their wives out over the years. Escaped by yourself?
If there is corruption, just say that his wife took it behind his back.
When a big scandal occurs at home, it is said that the wife is not good at managing the house.
Let me tell you, there is only one head of a family. As long as the head of the family is kept, there is still the possibility of a comeback. If you lose a wife, just find a beautiful one and marry another one and join the family.
You are the first generation in your family. If you want it to be passed on to generations of princes, you should learn this trick. "
Yun Chu nodded and said, "In a few days, I will bring back the tens of thousands of women in Xina, southwest China, so that I can take the blame."
When Li Zhi heard what Yun Chu said, a series of high-pitched laughter burst out from his throat. Looking at the emperor who was out of breath with laughter, Yun Chu said: "It seems that Wei Chen doesn't need to check the source of this rumor." Alright?"
After a long time, Li Zhi stopped laughing, wiped the tears from his laughter with his sleeves and said, "I see in your memorial, you built houses for those women, opened up fields, gave blankets, pots, and grain, and sent a large army to hunt them." Boar to the women.
This is obviously how he wants to live his life.
I thought that the great general of the Tang Dynasty was going to take root in the southwest... I just made a joke, but I didn't expect that after word spread, it would become a big deal for you to control hundreds of girls and thousands of girls at night... Hahahahaha...
This is different from General Yun who was shot as a hedgehog in the Western Region and was running away in embarrassment, but there are rumors that at the age of fourteen you can kill seven in and seven out of a million-strong army... Hahaha...
Such an inhuman warrior, a hero who would be unworthy of tens of thousands of women unless he married him, hahahaha..."
Yun Chu looked at Li Zhi, who was about to burst out laughing, and knew that this was his revenge. He, Wen Wen, and Di Renjie had often joked about what happened on the emperor and the queen's bed before, thinking that the emperor had forgotten about it a long time ago. Come to think of it, people are still holding grudges.
There was really nothing I could do at that time.
The emperor's spies are everywhere. You always want those spies to find out some secret things that the emperor wants to hear. If you say that the emperor has made mistakes in governing, you are asking for trouble. If you say that you are planning the entire Tang Dynasty, it is also fatal.
I had no choice but to tell the emperor what happened on the bed between the emperor and the queen, so that the emperor felt that he knew everything.
At the same time, Yun Chu was also keenly aware that the emperor came to him today. He had no interest in talking about national policies, let alone thinking about what to say. He had only one purpose, and that was to watch a joke.
Thinking about it, Li Zhi felt that he was already very powerful. Over the past few decades, he had opened up more territories than Emperor Taizong more than ten times. He also drove away and strangled all the threatening countries and tribes around the Tang Dynasty. There is no rival in the world.
In terms of internal affairs, the Tang Dynasty's treasury is now full, and the prosperity of the people is far beyond the poverty of the Zhenguan period.
He has the right not to make progress, just to eat and die.
Naturally, Yunchu couldn't let himself become the source of happiness for the emperor.
After the emperor took a deep breath, he sighed and said, "Does your Majesty know about the Ice Age?"
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