The Abandoned Empress

I hurriedly looked back at my father and Duke Verita, but they were not aware of his disguised expression. They smiled at him gently. I looked back at him with anxiety. I could feel some mixed feelings in his smiling blue eyes, something like hostility or resentment.

I noticed his face losing color. I felt a little better now, but my fingertips which had grown cold began to tremble again. I grabbed the hem of the doll I was holding. My father’s face hardened when he looked back at me.

“You look pale, Tia. Are you okay? ”

“Ah, yes. I’m okay.”

“I’m sorry, Your Majesty. Please allow her to leave. My daughter is very weak these days, so I think she should take a break.”

“Yes, please go ahead.”

“But daddy, you have to ….”

“Don’t worry about it. Today, I stopped by briefly because I have to take care of something urgently.”

The boy stood up, while watching my father reaching out and lifting me up. I met his cold eyes over his shoulder. There was hostility, resentment and some other feeling in his dark blue eyes.

‘Why is he looking at me like that? Why does he hate and resent me? What the hell did I do to you?’ He ignored my affection and hurt my feelings. I should duly hate and resent him.

I breathed out in anger. This was not fair. Even though I was the victim, I was trembling with fear that I might repeat my past instead of resenting him. I hated the reality that I couldn’t even feel hostile towards him because the fate of my family was interlocked with the imperial family. I was so frustrated about the fact that while the memories of my painful and grievous past were so vivid, he couldn’t remember anything.

After he took his gaze from me, he passed by my father. His coldness seemed to sweep over my whole body.

As my cold body shuddered, I buried my face in my father’s arms for a scrap of comfort.

“Good morning, my lady.”

“Fine, Lina. Good morning to you. ”

Did my physical chemistry change when I returned to my childhood? It was really difficult for me to wake up early in the morning when I was the emperor’s concubine, but I could wake up without any difficulty these days. My body always felt heavy in the past, but it felt light as a feather now. Smiling at Lina who was surprised to see me wake up early, I got out of bed.

“Look out the window, my lady. It snowed. ”

“Really?”

As I opened the curtains covering the windows, I saw snow everywhere. White snow piled up on frozen ground and white snowflakes on the branches of the trees came into my view. Servants were sweeping the snow with large brooms, with white steam coming out of their mouths, while white frost sat on the arm badges of the knights guarding my mansion.

“It snowed a lot. If I don’t have any schedule today, I would like to take a walk. ”

“You bet, my lady. I’m sorry for that.”

“Well, I can’t help it. I have no time, so let’s get ready. ”

“Yes, my lady.”

It was the second New Year’s morning since I came back to my childhood. They didn’t consider the New Year’s Day as a big holiday in the empire, but this time it was different because this year marked the 25th anniversary of His Majesty’s taking office.

I heard that the government planned a grand event to celebrate the emperor’s achievements of reviving the falling empire. One of them was the performance of a play. All the noblemen in the capital were supposed to watch it. It was not mandatory, but they didn’t dare refuse to come, so it was sort of mandatory for them to watch it.

I didn’t want to be entangled with the imperial family, but I was not free from it, so I had to attend. That’s why I had to get up earlier than usual today.

After preparing meticulously, I arrived at a theatre downtown in the capital with my father.

Originally, the 11th emperor started the court play for his beloved wife by inviting clowns. After that, the emergence of genius playwright Benard brought about a period of robust court plays that lasted about three hundred years. Playwrights and actors are all sponsored by the imperial family, and their main task is to create plays that suit the taste of the imperial members and nobles.

They arrived at the theater Aristia. It had been renovated by the late emperor, characterized by blocking the space between the seats for luxurious interior and entertainment. Only nobles could see a play there, where seats were arranged in a semicircle around the stage. The theater was a cascading structure, with the royal family in front of the stage. Great nobles above the marquis were seated there, surrounding the emperor and queen.

“Glory to the empire! I’m honored to see Your Majesty and the Crown Prince.”

“Everyone, sit down.”

As I sat in my reserved seat and had a conversation with my father, the emperor and the crown prince entered the theater, escorted by the royal guards. All of the nobles already seated rose and bowed to them. After telling everybody to sit down, the emperor beckoned a servant and said something. Then, the servant came to us.

“Lady Monique, the emperor wants to see you.”

“Me? Okay. I’ll be back soon after seeing him, Daddy.”

“Sure.”

I rose with some anxiety.

‘Why is he calling me? What does he want to say this time?’

My ominous feelings soon became reality because he ordered me to sit next to him.

“Your Majesty, but I…”

“Aren’t you the official fiancée of the prince? Sit down. I want to watch the performance with my future daughter-in-law. ”

“… ”

“Why are you hesitating? Is there anything wrong with what I said? ”

“…No, Your Majesty.”

There was nothing to refute because the probationary period of my status as the future queen was only known by His Majesty, the two dukes, my father and I.

I sat on his left very nervously. I felt as if I had something stuck in my throat. While trying to ignore his watchful eyes, I fixed my eyes on the actors who appeared on the stage.

“So, how are you doing these days?”

I turned my head to him when he asked suddenly. Despite the fact that the play was intended to celebrate his achievements, he seemed a bit bored.

“I’m doing well thanks to your consideration. Are you doing okay, Your Majesty?”

“So far, so good. Hmm, I’m sorry for your father as he’ll be watching alone. ”

“Ah… ”

“Come to think of it, your father has a small family. He and you, only two. Hmm, I feel sorry that that young woman passed away so early. ” Only

Young woman passed away so early? Did he mean my mother? When I looked at him curiously, the blue-haired boy who fixed his eyes on the stage turned his head to me. Whether he knew that or not, the emperor continued, lightly patting my hand, “It would have been nice if your mother had lived longer. Her good images are still in my memory. She made all of us sad by leaving this world like that.”

The emperor was making a sad expression, while the crown prince was looking at me curiously.

What should I reply in this case? As I had no memory of my mother, I couldn’t chime in, nor could I be silent. I raised my head a bit after some hesitation when something flashed my mind quickly. I had a similar conversation with him in the past. What did I say then?

I didn’t remember exactly, but I must not have replied smoothly because I haven’t had much interest in my mother from the beginning.

In the past, I had never thought much about anyone around me, let alone my mother.

My interest was focused solely on cultivating the qualities that the empress should have, and gaining the crown prince’s love. I didn’t change much in that respect. I learned to take interest in people around me a bit, but I assumed I had no mother from the beginning. I couldn’t have any feelings about her because I had no memory, and my father and other family members refused to mention my mother, which was strange enough.

However, I felt I should not answer carelessly, given the emperor’s sincere attention to my late mother. What should I do? I had been pondering over it when I heard a thunderous applause.

It seemed that the first act of the play was over. As I turned my eyes at the stage, I felt it fortunate to see the emperor and the crown prince clapping their hands. I also clapped.