The Death Knell

Maybe living here, a shotgun is enough when facing polar bears or other wild beasts, but when Santa Claus went out, four guns were pressed against his head almost instantly.

The one with the standard posture holding the gun in his four hands is naturally Su Ming, and he is also the fastest.

Even though I don’t know the specific situation, it won’t be wrong to gain the advantage and the right to speak first.

And like the black vitality group, the one who holds a gun with his hands splayed is naturally Wade. Although his shooting skills are not as good as his cousin, there is no reason to miss the target at such a close distance.

Most people are afraid of guns, but unusual people will also look at which side has more guns and which side has fewer guns.

Guns are not very useful for superheroes, but they have left an image of violence in people's hearts for many years. They are synonymous with threats.

Even if you can blow someone's head off with one punch, putting your fist on someone's head is not as intimidating as putting a small-caliber pistol on it.

Wade turned his head to where no one was and said very seriously: "Viewers, at this moment, our gun muzzle is only one centimeter away from the old man's head, but I know that the next second, this Santa Claus will definitely When he falls in love with me, he will say three words to me, Goose loves you, and if I have to add a time limit to this love, I think it should last until I shoot."

Bang, this was the sound of Santa Claus's shotgun hitting the ground. The moment he saw Deadpool and Deathstroke, he seemed to have lost his strength. He did say three words, but it was not what Deadpool thought.

"kill me!"

That's what Santa Claus said, and he also wanted to grab Su Ming and Wade's guns, intending to pull the trigger for them.

Wade distanced himself with a series of small jumps. He put away his gun and sighed, but still communicated with the non-existent audience: "I guessed the beginning correctly, but I didn't guess the ending. My sweetheart will be wearing a bikini, with her feet on ..."

"boom!"

Strangler quickly picked up the shotgun on the ground and blew Deadpool away, while Su Ming himself counterattacked Santa Claus with a grapple move and pushed him into the house.

Peter glanced sympathetically at Deadpool in the snow. A broken neck would definitely be a fatal injury to others, but not to Deadpool.

It has to be said that guns are also a good way to stop Wade's nonsense, so this sympathy is very limited. Peter was a little gloating, and followed the death knell into the house with a little excitement.

The room was much warmer, and Peter closed the door. He had always had a good habit of closing doors.

After throwing Santa Claus back on his sofa, Su Ming also put away his gun, because he knew Santa Claus' abilities in advance and had a plan.

As a god and a mutant, Santa Claus has some very weird abilities, such as teleporting to any chimney on the earth, being able to talk to reindeer, being able to conjure candy canes with his bare hands, and so on.

But in Santa Claus's current state, he simply doesn't want to live anymore, and Su Ming has already judged that what he drank was really wine. The alcohol concentration in his blood should be above 2.0, which means he is shaking when he walks.

"Tell me, old man, how did you manage to lose weight, and why did you seek death and survive?" Su Ming picked up a wine bottle and smelled it. It was low-quality ouzo. Even the watchdog of Su Ming's own winery would not drink it.

"Did you lose too much weight? Did you get deceived by a personal trainer?" Peter was also very imaginative. He couldn't find a place to sit, so he simply sat on the floor.

"I deserve to die. I will destroy this world. Kill me. I'm already a useless person." Santa Claus cried to them. He cried twice. When he saw the death knell, there was no reaction. He immediately set the target of his cry. 'Locked Spider-Man.

"Speak slowly, don't worry, I will help you." Peter was the most enthusiastic, and he immediately agreed to help.

"My Christmas gift factory has been occupied by others. I can't even afford to eat. My wife ran away, and so did Rudolph and the others. It's Christmas after midnight today, and I don't have a single gift. I'm a sinner."

Rudolph is the red-nosed reindeer, the one who serves as the sleigh’s headlight.

Santa Claus told Peter the problem he was facing very clearly, and then looked at him with his little eyes blinking.

"But you have wine, which means you are rich." Peter pointed to the empty bottle, and he smelled the smell of wine when he entered the room.

"If you drink wine to fill your stomach, you can't even imagine how much food Rudolph and the others cost each year." Santa Claus changed the subject.

Peter thought for a while, and it made sense. He had heard Iron Man say how much it cost to raise a pony every year, and reindeer should cost more.

Before he could say anything more to Santa Claus, Deadpool opened the door and came in with his head under his arm. He held his head like a headless horseman and sat down on Santa Claus' lap very naturally.

"You are lucky this time. The best mercenary in the world is here. Let me negotiate a deal with you."

"???"

Santa Claus looked at the dead head and then at the death knell walking around the room with his arms folded, feeling a little confused.

As we all know, negotiating terms is a habit of Deathstroke. Deadpool only accepts US dollars. Why did it change today?

"A few kids originally hired me to kill you. They offered me $50,000, but I think you're a good person, so you add another $10,000 and I'll kill them for you." Deadpool put his head back together , but because the wound has not healed yet, it needs to be supported with hands.

This time, Santa Claus looked calmer.

"Hey!" Peter hit Deadpool. This was too dark. How could he kill a child?

"Okay, don't kill them." Wade waved his hand, but quietly handed Santa a business card and whispered: "Call later."

"I won't hurt the children. Just kill me. I don't want to live anymore." Santa Claus closed his eyes, maybe because he drank too much, maybe because Deadpool just jumped into his arms. So he vomited all over Deadpool at this time.

Deadpool stood up very calmly, took off his clothes in an instant, and continued to solicit customers: "That aside, if I help you recover your factory, wife, and reindeer, can you grant me one wish?"

"Of course." Santa Claus nodded firmly.

Wade took out a new uniform from his blackened strawberry shorts and put it on, and then took out a pen and paper from his uniform pocket to draft a contract. Although his handwriting was as ugly as chicken feet, various contracts The details are really unambiguous.

After all, he has been a mercenary for so many years.

After writing it in a hurry, he handed the contract to Santa Claus, then rubbed his hands expectantly and waited for the other party to sign.

However, after seeing that Deadpool's wish was for Santa Claus to kill him, the old man put down the contract in despair and shook his head: "Sorry, I can't fulfill your wish. How about you make a wish for world peace?"

"Can you achieve world peace?" Peter opened his glasses wide. Is this God?

The clinker Santa Claus shook his head again: "I can't do it, because these conditions are all equally excessive, and I can't do any of them."

Deadpool sighed, pulled out his pistol and prepared to shoot Santa Claus to death: "Then what else do I need from a loser like you? I'll choose fifty thousand dollars."

"Kill me. Children all over the world will no longer have Christmas in the future. They will all know that I died in your hands. Congratulations, you are going to be famous." Santa Claus scratched his neck and put his head to the gun Orally.

Wade was stunned for a moment, then gasped violently: "I hate people threatening me the most. Do you think I don't dare to shoot? Do others care about my business on Christmas?!"

"You shoot, what nonsense, if you don't dare to shoot, you are a stinking shit!" Santa Claus is drunk and is not afraid of Deadpool at all.

"I'll kill you!" Deadpool opened the pistol safety.

"Hit, hit here. If you don't shoot, you will be as useless as me." Santa Claus has already seen that Wade can't shoot. He banged his head against the muzzle of the gun, leaving an Asan pattern between his eyebrows. red circle.

Seeing that the noise was getting louder and louder, and the bell not far away was still admiring the antique furnishings in the house, Peter had no choice but to intervene. He shot out a spider silk, entangled Wade's pistol and took it away.

"Wade, let's help him and think about the children in the world." He began to persuade Deadpool to volunteer to help.

Deadpool was unmoved at all, and he pulled out another gun: "You still don't understand. I have known that Santa Claus does not exist since I was four years old when I lived in an orphanage. What is talking to us now is just the imagination of the universe." The embodiment of power, you don't know what kind of existence is behind him, he can meet the transaction conditions I proposed."

"If he is really that powerful, he can get back everything he lost. Have you ever thought about this? Now that he is in this situation, it means that he is not omnipotent."

Peter immediately took away Deadpool's gun again and pointed out the problem.

"This makes some sense...Okay, I won't kill him, but I will never work in vain. The mercenary must gain something." Wade thought for a while, stood up and stretched his neck. : "Are you right, cousin? Mercenaries' wages cannot be owed."

"Uh-huh."

Su Ming lowered his head and played with a strange statue near the fireplace, and was just confused by Wade's questions.

The statue in his hand is a familiar image of an ancient god. A winged monster with an octopus head is squatting on a cube base with its eyes closed. The base is also engraved with some unknown words.

He's somewhat interested in this, and it's probably the most valuable thing Santa has here.

No wonder Santa Claus seems a little crazy, maybe it's the effect of this gadget.

After jotting down the patterns and words on it, Su Ming calmly put the statue back in its place. Perhaps the mysterious guest could understand this information, and she really needed to strengthen herself as the lord of Hell's Border.

Having a hell plane in his hands is the key to Deathstroke being able to intimidate other hell lords.

Regardless of whether this territory is directly or indirectly in Su Ming's hands, only with territory with hell attributes can it be possible to launch a hell plane annexation war and completely eliminate a certain demon king.

Su Ming was not comparable to Gu Yi in terms of magic. He couldn't deter restless guys with her strength like her, so she could only use layout to gain an advantage.

The specific point is to win over the mysterious guest and let the two supreme mages join forces.

As of 1955, although there seemed to be no rapid development on the surface of the 40K Earth, in fact its defense capabilities against different dimensions, other planes, and even parallel worlds were even higher than during the time of Ancient One.

While Su Ming was checking other things, Deadpool and Spider-Man were almost at war with each other. Wade was just being tough. He couldn't possibly let the children all over the world not have Christmas gifts in the future.

However, don't think that it is Deadpool's conscience or humanity, but because of another point.

According to Deadpool, if there are scenes of killing children or Santa Claus in the movie, it should be properly rated R-18 or above. But what he wants is to strive for a PG-13 rating, which is related to the number of viewers and popularity.

"Well, if you'll give me free mints for life, we've got a deal."

Wade tentatively reached out his hand to Santa.

The old man squeezed his hand and shook it up and down with a smile, as if he was afraid that Wade would regret it.