The Fire-Chasing Herrscher Who Destroyed the World
Chapter 285 Enlightenment!
The numbness in my legs gradually dissipated, but after a while it came back again unconsciously, seemingly endlessly.
"Everything in the world is actually a very meaningless reincarnation. What happened in the past will definitely happen in the future. What is happening now will definitely find its corresponding history in the past."
Probably because he had been in a daze for a long time, Hua actually recovered some scattered memories in his mind.
This voice... must be his without a doubt.
She felt a warm current flow from the bottom of her heart, but what specific emotion was it? She couldn't grasp it accurately. It seemed to be sad and happy at the same time.
It's like a person who throws away a treasure chest that he treasured from his childhood, only to suddenly find a tiny part of it while cleaning his old house one day.
Although it is only a very small amount of recovery, it is indeed gratifying enough... maybe?
But...what did she reply back then?
It doesn't seem like it takes much effort to remember:
"But...why is this happening?"
Hua frowned. In her memory, the man's face was blurry and she could only see some corners. If the voice wasn't familiar enough, she felt she couldn't tell his identity.
Of course, more importantly, what did she feel she was missing when recalling this part?
She is obviously experiencing the past from her own perspective, but...
But the state of mind when talking to Mikael, the longing, doubts, or other emotions in his heart... were all lost.
It was as if her recollection of memories was just watching the exchanges between the other two people from a first-person perspective. Whether it was Mikael's mood at that moment or her own feelings at that moment, she didn't even know the slightest bit about it. Can't catch it.
"..."
What was even more unacceptable to her was that when she tried to recall what answer Mikael gave, all she got was a blank.
This kind of trace... always made her feel that maybe she was not injured and lost her memory, but that her memory was "burned".
Have you ever seen burning paper? Throw the piles of paper filled with memories into the burning stove, and watch the sweet or bitter memories turn into smoke and disappear.
But the burning will not be carried out completely. The paper is piled up so densely that there is a lack of oxygen during burning, leaving some corners that are difficult to identify, but can indeed capture something.
The memory just now was like this. Hua stretched out his hand and gently twirled his fingers in front of nothing.
"Click——"
She made up a syllable in her mind, as if she had really held the corner of the fragmented page just now. With just a little force between her fingers, the dark, burnt, and hard edge immediately shattered into dregs. , fell to the ground.
"well……"
When the numbness in her legs dissipated again, Hua felt as if she could control her body. She blushed and used up all the folded paper, then lifted up her pants and stood up.
When you press the flush button, the toilet is never polite to excrement. Everything is swallowed into the black hole in the whirlpool.
"swirl……"
Hua seemed to think of something again, but it was just a feeling of familiarity, not even the slightest picture appeared.
"water……"
To be precise, it was the sound of water flowing.
"The sound of whirlpools and water flow..."
Hua's intuition told her that these seemed to be two very important images.
But why are the two separated? Don't whirlpools appear when there is water flow?
This time, the memory fragments were completely destroyed, leaving only a small corner of the blank space, leaving Hua a little confused about these clues.
She shook her head and stopped thinking about it.
But then she held her head with both hands. Her brain was dizzy and a little painful. When she shook it, it became worse, as if she wanted to shake out all the brain matter.
Dragging his steps to the pool, he gently turned the button, and the cold water gurgled out. Hua scooped some up with his hands and splashed it on his face, finally feeling a little more conscious.
"Maybe we can get some answers from Mikael about what happened in the past. But..."
She glanced at her haggard self in the half-length mirror above the pool, and stared at it for a long time.
He is about sixteen or seventeen years old, maybe seventeen or eighteen, and his appearance looks ordinary. Although he cannot be called mediocre, he is not the type that makes people feel stunning at first glance, and...
"..."
A figure that makes it easy to move your arms.
"This is me..."
She stretched out her fingers towards herself in the mirror, as if she wanted to relax the depressed brows of the person inside through the mirror.
But just when a thin white mist appeared on the mirror, and before the cold and hard touch came from the fingertips, Hua suddenly felt that his depressed brow looked familiar...
Her vision suddenly blurred, and she quickly wiped it with the back of her hand, and then the knot between her brows deepened.
"Forget it... For me now, it may be necessary to retrieve my memory, but the most important thing is... how do I face the people I once knew... and how do I go back to my original self? Woolen cloth?"
She shook her head again to avoid covering her head with pain again.
"Um...Hua, can you open the door?"
Probably hearing the sound of flushing and running water, Mikael asked questions while knocking on the door.
Hua was stunned for two seconds, then held on to the wall and spent a while before walking to the door and turning the door handle.
"Uh... I wonder if you need these?"
Mikael held a yellow washbasin in his hand. There was a towel placed beside the washbasin. There were cups, toothbrushes, and toothpaste in the basin.
"Thanks……"
Hua bit her lip and answered in a weak voice.
She wanted to get rid of these things, but as soon as her hands came off the wall, she almost stumbled and fell into Mikael's arms.
"Be careful."
Mikael held her arm with one hand and brought her figure back on track.
"Is it still inconvenient to move around?"
Hua nodded slightly.
"Hold my shoulders."
Hua did so without hesitation.
Then, Mikael slowly took a step forward, and she also took a step back to the sink again.
"Look at me, I forgot this!"
Mikael slapped his head and took out another hot water bottle in his hand.
It wasn't that the faucet in the sink couldn't adjust the temperature. He just thought Hua might be more accustomed to using a hot water bottle.
And this is indeed the case.
So, Hua washed himself in front of the mirror, and Mikael leaned against the wall nearby.
At first, Hua would glance at him from time to time, but she soon discovered that Mikael's gaze was not directed at her.
The gazes of his eyes met at a certain point in front of him. Hua was sure that there was nothing there. Perhaps it was precisely because of the nothingness that it qualified as a temporary parking spot for his eyes.
Someone was waiting aside, so of course she wouldn't have to wash up for a long time. After a while, she sat back down on the bed with Mikael's help.
Mikael also sat down in front of her. This time, he didn't hesitate:
"Hua, you should understand to some extent that your memory has suffered some kind of loss, right?"
"Um."
"Then you should have guessed that the reason why I'm here is not just to visit patients, but also to provide psychological counseling.
"Of course, I'm not a doctor. Logically speaking, Su Lai should be allowed to perform psychological treatment on you. However, considering your memory problem, you may be too wary of some people you once knew... so in the end, I still I am coming."
"Um."
Hua nodded mechanically. Now, she had heard four names from Mikael's mouth:
Hua was herself, Mikael was right in front of her, Alicia, and Su.
However, it is impossible to piece together a complete memory based on names alone.
"Listen, Hua, if you just want to know what happened in the past, then I can now play those processes directly in your mind in a certain way, and then you will know everything."
"but."
Hua Qing spit out this word, and then quietly waited for Mikael's turn.
"But if you do this, you will just see everything that has happened to you so far from a third-party perspective. I don't want that."
"So, what do you need me to do?"
Hua pursed her lips into a straight line. If memory were compared to water, then she would be extremely dehydrated and would even die of thirst.
Fortunately, there was clear spring water not far away, but then Mikael came over, stopped her, and then told her that you can't drink the water in front of you.
This may make some people angry, but for Hua, it is precisely because of this that she feels that everything he said is true and reasonable.
After all, if it is not out of heartfelt concern, who would be willing to do such a thankless thing except for some people with special quirks and shady people?
Therefore, she was prepared to do as Mikael said without hesitation. After all, memory is not water, and she would not really die of thirst.
"snort……"
Mikael closed his eyes, took a long breath from his nose, and then said softly:
"Your memory is not completely lost, not formatted and deleted, but [burned]. Do you understand what I mean? It's like a fire burning away the paper storing your memory, but there are always some edges. The horns stayed... Uh, Hua, why are you looking at me like this?"
Hua shook his head and silently withdrew his doubtful gaze - it was really strange, did the two people have exactly the same feelings and metaphors about the same thing?
"I probably understand what you mean... You want me to take the initiative to look for the fragments of those memories. After I understand enough about the past, you can [play] the past memories to me from a third-party perspective. This way , can make me feel [my past self] better, right?”
"Yes, it is like that……"
Before Mikael finished speaking, Hua shook his head again.
"It can't be done."
"Um?"
"I just... tried it, but even in those fragments, I experienced everything from a first-person perspective, but to my senses, it was like watching everything happen to another person."
She had thought that after hearing this, Mikael would change his mind, or at least re-evaluate all plans.
But she guessed wrong this time. Mikael did not fall silent, but squinted his eyes and smiled faintly.
He held up a small mirror in his hand, placed it in front of Hua, and asked:
"Take a look and see if you find anything wrong with yourself."
Something's wrong?
Hua stared at her reflection in the mirror and blinked.
"ah……"
She groaned softly, and Mikael withdrew the mirror and pointed at her eyes with his index finger.
Then, he brought the mirror back to her again.
Hua pursed her lips and looked at herself in the mirror.
To be precise, it's looking at myself in the mirror.
Although they were looking at each other, the look in her eyes was a bit strange - the gazes of their eyes did not seem to meet, but were cast farther away. The blue eyes were like unchanging stagnant water, lacking depth and light...
Of course, none of the above may matter.
What was really important was her red eyes and the reddish whites of her eyes, which were rendered red by bloodshot eyes.
"..."
Did you cry? When was it?
Her clear memory was only a few dozen minutes in total, so she wanted to "find" something very quickly.
That was when she was staring at herself in the half-length mirror on the sink, and she felt that the knot between her eyebrows was very familiar, and then her vision blurred unknowingly.
"From your subjective emotional point of view, it may be difficult for those memory fragments to resonate with your heart, but they are things rooted in your body after all.
"Hua, memory is not just paper in a simple metaphor. When a stack of paper is thrown into the fire, where it will remain in the fire is random - although by adjusting the way it is thrown into the fire and other external factors, this can also be interfered with. process, but it is an objective phenomenon after all.
"Memories involving the soul are completely subjective products. In other words, any memory fragments that you can vaguely grasp are by no means meaningless 'corners' to you. They may be It corresponds to something extremely important that happened to you, or an extremely important person. In short, it is something that you are unwilling to completely give up in the flames that burn everything.
"Now, your subjective consciousness can no longer react resonantly to it, but the body's subconscious still exists. Do you understand?"
"I see."
Hua opened his mouth and quickly pressed it together.
On the contrary, Mikael's voice was always drawn out.
"Besides..."
He showed a gentle smile to Hua:
"Some things must be remembered by yourself to be considered as not forgotten. And you really shouldn't forget, because compared to the bitter and sweet past, the present you have at that moment should never be forgotten. Something, absolutely, absolutely!
"So, let's try it again."
Mikael looked at Hua again, but inexplicably, he met a pair of misty eyes.
"...Mikael, before everything starts, I have a question that I really want to ask."
"Just say it."
"you……"
Hua's chest suddenly rose and fell rapidly twice, as if this word had emptied all the oxygen in her chest.
Correspondingly, her expression gradually calmed down:
"Mikael, I vaguely remember that you once talked about reincarnation with me."
"[Everything in the world is actually a very meaningless reincarnation], but this?"
Mikael raised his eyebrows and quickly reported the corresponding past.
"Well...my memory stopped abruptly the moment I asked why, so I want to ask, what was the answer you gave at that time...?"
Mikael blinked quickly, and then put his whole body weight on the back of the chair.
"it's actually really easy."
Hua didn't know whether this sentence was Mikael's current answer or just a paraphrase of what he said at that time.
"The cycle of reincarnation in this world is just what [He] wants."
"It's that simple?"
Hua was a little disappointed.
The so-called "He" may be a truly existing god, or it may be one of the various laws of the world.
But no matter what explanation she gave, Mikael's words were too casual and simple, and it was difficult for her not to feel disappointed.
The reason why she pursued this question diligently was not because it was the first memory she had captured, but because an unreasonable intuition told her that Mikael's answer might really affect "how to act as a person in the past." "I" question.
But the more she held out hope for it, the more she felt lost now.
However, when she raised her head belatedly, she met Mikael's teasing gaze:
"Tsk, your reaction is exactly the same as back then."
"..."
“What I just said about [reincarnation] is to discuss another issue from the perspective of another dimension.
"But I know that's not what you want to hear. What you want to know should be from a more detailed perspective and reduce it to human history.
"Hua, [What has been done will be done again; what has been done will be done again; there is nothing new under the sun]. This is a principle concluded by human beings themselves - the so-called reincarnation of human beings themselves. Is this what you really want to ask?"
Hua nodded blankly. For her who lacked memory, she couldn't even remember which book it said, let alone whether it was really the sentence she wanted to ask.
But she soon realized that Mikael was just reproducing every word in his memory, and it seemed a bit abrupt because of the lack of her cooperation.
"It's very simple. In the final analysis, no matter how the times change, human beings are still human beings. Because of the instinct of "survival", human beings have derived countless bad qualities, and because of these bad qualities, corresponding beauty has emerged, corresponding to "survival" In other words, it is [sacrifice].
"These two instincts serve as the two endpoints of an open interval. All human behaviors, whether based on sensibility or rationality, can ultimately find correspondence within this open interval. Therefore, human history, without the embellishment of the times, is as light as Looking at people themselves, they are just going through reincarnation.”
The hope ignited in Hua's eyes was shattered again. Although Mikael said a lot, she knew very well that these were not what she wanted.
But Mikael smiled again:
"Hua, if you reduce human beings to a single person, it's actually the same. Your subconscious is a collection of intervals that includes all your behaviors. When you don't know what to do because you can't remember your past, Follow your subconscious mind and you will naturally make the same choice you have made before, and that is another reincarnation for you.
"Do you think I want to tell you this? Hahahaha! Of course not!"
After a burst of laughter, Hua suddenly felt that he could not understand what Mikael said, because it was no longer a repetition of the past, but a prophecy for the future.
However, this prophecy seems to be aimed at more than just Hua:
"Hua, you should really remember that sentence - it was you in the past that made you who you are now. But you may have some misunderstandings about this sentence.
"You think you have lost your past, but isn't it your past that leads to such a result? Therefore, [you have lost your past] itself is your past, and what you have to do now is to work in this past based on your future.
"Perhaps, just because all the past has been burned, your dreams will become transparent and your steps in the future will become light. This may be a blessing in disguise that Kevin and I never dared to think about, and it is also a blessing in disguise. Accurate thing.
"However, if you are still obsessed with retrieving your lost memories, then you might as well create a future where [you can retrieve your memories]."
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