The Greatest Showman

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"Knock knock."

"Knock knock."

A light knock on the door sounded in the quiet early morning hours. There seemed to be some problem with a lamp at the end of the corridor, flickering on and off, and the sound of the filament burning could be faintly heard, which made the whole corridor more and more visible. Empty and lengthy, these historic old buildings can always smell a little old and dilapidated, and the air vents coming out of nowhere make the air cool.

"Snapped."

The light at the end of the corridor was not able to last until the end, so it went out. The brightly lit corridor dimmed a little, and although the other lamps were still bright, it inevitably gave rise to a sense that the light was gradually dissipating, and the surroundings became more and more quiet.

Matthew couldn't help but raised his head and looked at the extinguished lamp. He could vaguely see a moth lying dead in the lampshade without any movement. , so both parties perished. This made Matthew's eyelids start to twitch inexplicably.

"Knock knock."

Matthew retracted his gaze and knocked on the door again, but got no response. He looked down at the gap under the door, the light leaked out, and it was quiet and peaceful, but it didn't go out.

Without further hesitation, Matthew tried the door handle, but found that the door was not locked, so he pushed open the door directly, "Renly?" with the script and pages, and an empty coffee mug next to it.

Matthew's heart began to sink.

Push open the bathroom, no one; push open the balcony, no one. The entire room was just that big, and there was no way to hide anyone, so Matthew could be sure that Renly wasn't there.

After looking around for a week, Matthew noticed an abnormality: in the ashtray on the coffee table, there was an unlit cigarette that had been thrown away; there were no cigarette cases and lighters beside it.

Matthew made some guesses, and quickly left the room, not forgetting to close the door of the room, and then quickly walked up to the roof on the top floor.

Pushing open the rooftop door, the dark night sky spreads out in front of you, and the vaguely rolling hills appear on the horizon like smudged ink, but only a few strokes outline a touch of grandeur and grandeur, even if There are no stars in the sky, and my heart suddenly opens up.

In the boundless night, a figure was sitting on the edge of the balcony, and the strong wind was blowing the hem of the shirt, as if it might go away at any time.

Matthew let out a long sigh of relief, which made him feel a little relieved.

Whenever Renly needed to quiet down and think, he would always find a noisy and quiet corner to sit down. He used to choose the supermarket. If he couldn't find Renly, he would always find it in the corner of the supermarket; But as Renly's popularity and awareness gradually rose, supermarkets became less "safe", which meant that Renly had to find other harbors.

They are now trapped in the small town of Snim. Compared with the forest, the rooftop is a more convenient choice, and it should be the only reasonable choice. So, Matthew walked quickly to the rooftop, and sure enough, he saw the familiar figure-in an instant, an illusion occurred in his mind, the time and space were dislocated, and it seemed that when he returned to Eton College again, he saw the blue on the rooftop. The other side of the ceremony.

That kind of loneliness, that kind of loneliness, that kind of fragility... Usually it always settles between the shallow smiles in the eyebrows, almost no one can detect it, but it always exists objectively, and it always lingers, as if there is no one out of nowhere. The drowning man who was crying for help, the silent roar concealed the gradually suffocating ashes, slowly and slowly swallowing up the faint and bright rays of light around the soul.

After last year's "Boom Drummer" was finished, the gloom that followed him seemed to finally be gone, completely gone, not even when Paul Walker got into a car accident, it was as if Renly had finally gotten rid of the nightmare, but now, Shadows began to quietly emerge again.

Matthew stepped forward quickly, but when he was about to approach, he couldn't help slowing down: he was a little flustered, lest his footsteps would disturb Renly, but he didn't expect that Renly's joking voice came from the wind. "Don't worry, I don't have the courage to jump, I just need to be calm and calm."

The joke at this time made Matthew unable to laugh. But the footsteps landed firmly on the ground again, and then sat down beside Renly.

"Many people say that it is the weak who commit suicide because they are too afraid and too cowardly, so they have chosen a hundred; but I have a different idea, in fact, they are all brave, because they have the courage to make a decisive farewell— - Farewell to a complete turnaround. The courage they have is far beyond imagination."

Renly's voice was erratic in the wind, which made Matthew's heart skip a beat. His eyelids twitched more and more.

"She has the courage I'll never have," Renly whispered.

Matthew knew who this "she" was. "You know that statement is wrong."

Renly didn't affirm or deny, just looked up at the starry sky, "Don't worry, really, I'm just a little tired from reading the script, and I need a cigarette to wake up. I'm just... heh, I'm just tired. ." Renly had the pack of cigarettes and lighter in his left hand, a cigarette in his right hand, but not lit, his tired voice full of self-deprecation.

"It's a beautiful night in Ireland, and I can't help but fantasize about running barefoot over the forest treetops.

Running freely and freely, as if the soul can fly. Renly took a deep breath, the fresh and cold air filling his chest, and his whole body seemed much lighter. "

"...Renly, you need to rest." Matthew said in a deep voice.

Renly paused for a moment, then laughed cheerfully, "Ha, I know, I have a rest every day, but, the work is really too busy, so I can only work overtime, otherwise, the filming progress of the crew will be lost. It's about to stop, believe me, Ogus will never have a good face."

"Renly, I'm serious." Matthew didn't buy it at all. "The crew doesn't have that much work at all, as you know I know. You're lying to yourself!"

Renly's smile stopped at the corner of his mouth, his expression slightly stiff.

Matthew couldn't bear it, and his tone slowed down a little, "Renly, you need to rest, your current state is not good, very bad, you will collapse at any time. You... you need to sleep well, you need to let Pick yourself up...you haven't closed your eyes for three days, it's not normal. You're now...very, very tired, a little accident could be...listen, you need to rest, you just need to rest."

"I know!" Renly interrupted Matthew roughly. "I will, I will rest. I will go back and revise the script, and I will rest."

Those perfunctory words made Matthew tough again, "Renly, I'm serious, you're in a terrible state! You should be sensible and smart enough to know the consequences of this..."

"Yes, I know, I know all about it!" Renly turned his head and stared at Matthew, his voice hard and cold, bursting out with a powerful voice, "I know it all, but I know The consequences, but still persuaded her to go to the front line, I knew what might happen, but still didn't stop her. It's me, you understand? It's me! I always do, pretending to be smart, pretending to know everything wisely, Pretending to be God and directing other people's lives, but in reality, I don't know anything. I really don't know anything."

Matthew opened his mouth slightly, "Renly, it's not your fault..."

"Then whose fault is it? Tell me, I'm to blame! Charles, I'm to blame? If it's not me, then who is it? You tell me, if I can't blame one person, I'll probably go crazy, Do you understand? I have to do this, I have to distract myself." Renly's bloodshot eyes were full of anger and despair, staring at Matthew in the dark, question after question.

Matthew couldn't answer.

"You know what? I can't do it, I can't close my eyes, I can't stop thinking, just a little bit of time and I'll start imagining what's going on there! She's suffering right now What! What is she facing now! Even if she's still alive, she's not in a good position, is she? How could she be okay? As long as I close my eyes, I'll see her covered in blood , I can't, Charles, I really can't."

Renly's words were falling apart, the kind of wound deep into the bone, dripping with blood, showing his vulnerability and pain. After tearing off the mask, it was exposed like this.

"I know, I'm a coward, I just hide in the set, pretend the world is peaceful, pretend nothing is crazy, and use work to numb my nerves! And she's fighting for her life! How absurd! How absurd! Ridiculous! But the saddest thing is that I can't help anything, you understand? I can't...I can't...I can't miss her, but I can't miss her...I don't know what to do."

"I have to get busy, keep my brain spinning, not take a break; I have to blame someone and let my anger go out, or I'm not sure what I'm going to do. I… I can't stop, understand? I can't stop. It's like... I don't know, it's like stop and everything will fall apart, everything I've been working on will fall apart!"

"Heather is an illness, Paul is an accident, so what about Edith? Edith is me, I'm the one who caused it all, I can see blood on my hands, you understand? I hate my sanity , I also hate myself for being smart, in fact, I'm just a big fool."

"Charles, what should I do?"

Renly stared at Matthew with those desperate eyes that broke his heart—he couldn't help, he couldn't help at all.

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