The Romantic Cultivator

"Feng Minyue will finally be mine!" Ji Yuan chuckled aloud.

"Xiang Li, can you imagine how docile she will become under the great massages of my golden hands and she will be begging me not to leave her for even a single minute!"

Xiang Li giggled, "But only in Big Brother's story."

Just as Ji Yuan was about to write his juicy account with Feng Minyue, the three spirit old men had suddenly said sternly. "Time up!"

Ji Yuan was startled and he began to protest immediately.

"What do you mean by time up? I've only just began and it isn't even a full day yet!"

The green hair spirit man said coldly, "Did we say anything about a full day? A day is only 12 hrs. Do you think we are so mean as to force you to write for such a long time without giving you a break?"

Ji Yuan muttered weakly, "Actually I'm a golden saint and I don't need a break…"

The white hair old man interrupted, "Surrender your manuscript now and we will judge if you are able to pass this trial."

Xiang Li was suddenly giggling jovially again, for real. She was only too glad this trial had finally ended.

She had completely lost interest in her Big Brother's story because there were no real bang, bang and her Big Brother was only trying to write a fantasy.

She thought; my Big Brother won't give up so easily…hehe…here is the fun part…

True enough, Ji Yuan began to say shamelessly. "What if I forfeit my break? Can I have more extra time? I don't mind if you allow me to write for another three days, one week or even one month. I will promise you an epic most impressive cultivation hero…"

The white hair old man sharply said, "NO! Surrender your manuscripts now."

"No negotiations at all?" Ji Yuan asked weakly.

"None at all!" The white hair old man answered sternly.

Ji Yuan looked quite sheepish as he slowly picked up his manuscripts; it was clear to everyone that he was not able to surrender easily.

"It isn't fair. I didn't know that it is actually a 12 hour trial instead of a 24 hour trial. You didn't set a timer to warn me at all." He said righteously.

"You didn't ask." The green hair old man said.

"In a trial, will you argue with a desolate monster when you are about to be killed by it?" The black hair old man added.

"Maybe you're not the intellect cultivator that can complete this trial after all." The white hair old man hummed coldly.

Ji Yuan was totally defeated by the sarcasm remark made by these three cunning spirit old men. With a most unwilling look, he surrendered his manuscripts to them.

There goes his dream of being an Alpha of the Alphas.

Worst; he had not yet banged Jiajia or Feng Minyue yet in his story…

When the white hair old man took a first look at the manuscript, he began to smile. "The Greatest Cultivation Hero Ever? This is a totally shameless title."

Ji Yuan: …

That is because you lack the culture to appreciate it, that's why.

He dared not voice out his thoughts lest they may decide to fail him in a moment of anger.

Indeed, he forced himself to smile. "Read it and you will know that you're reading an epic cultivation story!"

Xiang Li rolled her eyes when she had heard him.

Fairy Anyang was now giggling nonstop as she said to Xiang Li, "You know, he didn't even write anything about being a cultivation hero yet…our master is going to fail this trial…very badly…hehe…"

Xiang Li muttered weakly, "Big Brother won't fail. He is the very best!"

The green hair spirit old man had suddenly roared out with laughter, "And this greatest ever cultivation hero died in the second paragraph?"

The other two old men could not resist laughing aloud as spirit tears swelled in their eyes, "This isn't impressive at all…"

Xiang Li face-palmed weakly; told you so…

Ji Yuan frowned as he said solemnly, "This is only the beginning. As a result of my death, I will transmigrate to the past and have a chance to redo the past. From there, I will be the most impressive epic cultivation hero ever."

"Why don't you be the greatest cultivation hero first before you reincarnate to a new body. From there, you can cultivate your way up again?" The white hair old man smiled.

"This is too cliché!" Ji Yuan pointed out. "If the greatest cultivation hero even dies in the first place then he is not the greatest ever cultivation hero."

"Maybe this greatest ever cultivation hero is fighting tens or even thousands of top cultivators and hence that is why he has lost his life." Suggested the green hair old man.

"Again this is too cliché!" Ji Yuan frowned. "If the epic cultivation hero is so smart in the first place, he won't even be caught fighting everyone. His EQ must be really too low."

The three old men immediately frowned; is he trying to imply that their EQ is low?!

"Then how did your epic cultivation hero even die in the first place?" The three old men broke out in loud chorus.

Ji Yuan replied coolly, "My cultivation hero is ambushed by the Evil Emperor when I was lamenting for my dead Jiajia. He has mastered the profound art of time and space. That is why he manages to sneak past my defenses and got me."

The green hair old man hummed coldly, "Then this isn't an impressive cultivation hero at all."

"Hold!" Ji Yuan interrupted. "You ask for an impressive cultivation hero, am I right?"

The green hair old man smiled, "Of course."

"Do you deny that the fact that I've died a most impressive death then? Imagine this; a hero cultivator holding the arms of his most loved one in her dying breath. And then all of a sudden the Evil Emperor kills the hero cultivator. Won't this be the most impressive death ever?"

The three old men: …

Xiang Li, Fairy Anyang: …

Fairy Anyang muttered to Xiang Li, "This is really such a bad start. They're already arguing at the very start."

Xiang Li nodded weakly, "But Big Brother seems to have an upper hand in this."

"As well as several negative reactions that can cause him to fail this trial." Fairy Anyang chuckled.

The three old men continued to read rapidly.

But the white hair old man was soon frowning, "Why should a little maiden that is 13 wants to peep at the body of a 13 year brat?! And she has even dropped into his bathtub. No one will ever fall into the bath tub of another person just like this."

Ji Yuan looked a little sheepish; it was because he had dropped into Xue Qianxue's bathtub previously…

But he quickly protested, "I am a 13 year old hulk, that is why."

The three old men: …

Xiang Li: …

Fairy Anyang was laughing nonstop, "Someone please save me. This is so cringing…"

All of a sudden the green hair old man began to frown, "You're asking a 13 year to strip in front of you? Isn't this smut?"

"He should be in the FBI list." The black hair old man growled.

The white old man frowned. "It isn't all. He is asking all the little maidens in his class to strip too…"

The green hair old man added with shock. "And even the attendant head…"

"Dual cultivation…."

"And he even describes all their features and figures in such detail…"

Xiang Li was flustered when she had heard him; her Big Brother had spent three hours to write in great detail on his harem…

Ji Yuan laughed, "Behind every successful cultivation hero, there is always his harem…"

The while hair old man interrupted, "I am afraid that you can go already. This is because you've failed the trial."

Ji Yuan was shocked. "WHAT?! Did you even read about my cultivation exploits at all?! How can you even dismiss my work just like this?!"

The black hair old man threw the manuscripts on the floor by summoning a breeze since he could not really hold the manuscripts. "This is a rubbish work! Your cultivation hero is unrealistic and full of broken plot armors. You are writing a cultivation hero that seems to know everything, do everything and fuck everyone as well. Why don't you write that you're superman and are indestructible as well?"

Ji Yuan protested weakly, "There needs to be some pain points, you know. So I can't be indestructible…"

The white hair old man interrupted coldly, "Well, you can go now. You've failed the trial."

Ji Yuan appeared to be dazzled by the words as it rung sharply in his mind;

"YOU HAVE FAILED THE TRIAL…"

"YOU HAVE FAILED THE TRIAL…"

"YOU HAVE FAILED THE TRIAL…"

This is one failure that he cannot accept willingly. After all, he has spent so much effort on it…

Ji Yuan smiled weakly, "I will like a second opinion from another trial spirit…"

The white hair old man hummed coldly as he pointed at a yellow portal, "There is no second opinion. Exit through that portal. Your group is waiting for you outside."

Seeing that Ji Yuan still refused to move away, he shouted. "OUT YOU GO!!!"

Ji Yuan shouted back as he quickly moved away, "THE THREE OF YOU ARE OLD FRAGGOTS!!!"

Since he had already failed his trial, he was back to the crude Ji Yuan again as he grumbled on his way out.

Xiang Li giggled quietly as she secretly appeared in front of the three spirit old man, stunning them with her sudden appearance. "Heh! What do you think of my story?"

She had dropped her spirit memory stone into their hands. "This is my story."

With another chuckle, she quickly floated back into Ji Yuan's soul sea again before he noticed her.

Fairy Anyang covered her face with her palms as she whispered to Xiang Li, "Is this your smut collection..."

The white hair old man had a stunned look, "Did you see what I've seen earlier?"

"I did. If I'm not wrong, isn't she the Goddess' Tear?" The black hair old man gasped.

"She is actually with this cultivator?" The green hair old man gasped with shock.

The white hair old man began to say solemnly, "We've better take a closer look at his depraved cultivation story again first lest it concerns the fate of the Three Known Realms."

"I totally agree with you." The green hair old man said all of a sudden.

The black hair old man pointed at the memory stone that was given to them, "We have better check what her cultivation story is first."

"Even if her cultivation story can fulfill our standard, we can't allow this cultivator to overcome the trial. It is because he has failed already." The white hair old man said solemnly.

The green hair old man nodded, "There can be no exception."