The Second Coming of Gluttony

After escaping from the royal palace, Seol Jihu and Teresa headed to Gula’s temple.

[Allowing a Paradisian to enter Earth?]

“Yes.”

[Well… seeing as you’ve seen the future, you should know the answer. It is possible, but….]

Seol Jihu tilted his head at the slight hesitation in Gula’s voice. Though he might be mistaken, she seemed to be pitying him.

[Your wish has been accepted. Do as you want….]

“Wait!”

Before Gula gave permission, Teresa quickly butted in.

“You won’t only allow entry, right? It will be a shame if I can’t read or hear anything.”

[You will be given the same synchronization setting that Earthlings have. Language will not be a problem.]

“Perfect. And also…”

[Brat, you’re asking for too much.]

“Eii, it’s Gula-nim’s apostle who’s making the wish! Don’t be stingy with extra care….”

Teresa haggled with Gula. Soon, the preparation was complete.

“I can’t believe I’m about to use this portal.”

Teresa took in a deep breath in front of the warp gate. Seol Jihu felt that this side of her was rather novel.

“There’s nothing to be scared of. Let’s go in together.”

“W-Wait.”

When Seol Jihu tried to pull her in, Teresa stepped back in a startle. Placing her hand on the chest, she collected her breath before speaking.

“Can you go ahead?”

“?”

“I’m sorry. I think having you here is making me more nervous…. Please go ahead. I’ll be right there.”

Seol Jihu stared at Teresa fixedly before bursting into laughter.

Teresa flew into a rage.

“W-Why are you laughing?”

“No, it’s just… I never knew there was such a cute side to you.”

“No! I mean! Think about it! I’m going to a different world! You might be used to it, but I’m…!”

“Okay, okay, I got it. I’ll wait for you, so come through after you calm down.”

“Jeez!”

Teresa glared at the giggling Seol Jihu as he walked into the portal. Then, when Seol Jihu completely disappeared….

“...Whew.”

Teresa’s expression did a 180. Not a trace of nervousness remained on her face as her usual relaxed attitude returned. The corner of her lips also curled up as if to say, ‘I got you!’

Teresa walked over in light steps that resembled a fox wagging her tail. Not toward the portal but to the statue of Gula.

“Gula-nim~”

[What is it now?]

“You see~ I know that you can pay a teen~sy bit of contribution points to take an item from Paradise to Earth~ So~”

Teresa rummaged through her pockets and then took out a small bag half-filled with white powder.

“I want to take this with me~”

[...Why that?]

“Oh my~ Do I really need to explain something so obvious~?”

Teresa shook the small bag.

“It’s not like it’s is bad for your body~ It just helps you enjoy being drunk a little more~ You know what I mean~?”

She covered her mouth with her hand and laughed.

[....]

Gula became speechless.

*

Seol Jihu, who was waiting for Teresa in his apartment room, turned around at the sound of exploding light. A cluster of light emerged from thin air, and Teresa slowly revealed herself.

Seol Jihu marveled inwardly as this was the first time he saw someone come to Earth from Paradise.

Teresa’s eyes opened, immediately widening to circles. She looked up at the ceiling in a daze before starting to look around left and right.

“Would you like to take a look outside as well?”

Drrk. Seol Jihu opened the window. Teresa hurriedly ran forward and leaned her body outside.

“Woooow!”

A belated exclamation burst out.

“I’m sorry. I wanted to bring you to a bigger house, but I didn’t have a choice.”

“No, it’s fine. I prefer this actually.”

Teresa replied half-heartedly. Seol Jihu fell into thought while watching the hectic Teresa gaze outside the window.

‘What should we do?’

He knew what to do first. Teresa wore casual clothes that she often draped over when she was in the streets of Haramark, but it was still too noticeable by Earth’s standard.

Seol Jihu looked through his closet just in case, but as expected, it contained only men’s clothes. He had to buy something for Teresa to wear.

‘36, 24, 36.’

After quickly and accurately eyeing Teresa’s three sizes, Seol Jihu picked up the remote and turned on the TV. When the screen flickered on and sound began to come out, Teresa turned her attention to the electronic device.

“What’s this?”

“It’s called a TV. Different shows and programs are played on different channels. If something similar existed in Princess’ world, you would be able to watch a play happening in Eva from Haramark.”

“Wow….”

“There isn’t just one channel either. This is called a remote. If you click this….”

Seol Jihu calmly explained how to work the remote, and Teresa nodded her head.

“I’m going to go out for a bit to buy you some clothes.”

“Okay.”

“Watch some TV while you’re waiting. If you want more comfortable clothes, you can put these on.”

“Okay.”

Seol Jihu placed down a pile of clothes, but Teresa didn’t give them a single glance. Before anyone noticed, she was entirely devoted to the TV.

“Relax and make yourself at home. It’s going to take a while.”

“I will.”

Teresa plopped down on the floor right away. Leaning against the wall, she stretched out her legs. The word modesty was not in her vocabulary.

“I’ll be back soon.”

“Okay~ See you later~”

Teresa waved her hand. Of course, her eyes were fixed on the TV until Seol Jihu opened the front door and left.

After about two hours of shopping, Seol Jihu returned to his apartment. It took him a little longer than it usually would since he carefully picked out clothes that Teresa would wear for the first time on Earth.

“I’m back… Hm?”

After opening the door and walking in, Seol Jihu jumped in a startle. The noble princess was nowhere to be seen and was replaced by a NEET.

The clothes she was wearing were casually thrown on the floor. She had changed into a bright-colored, plaid shirt and one of his boxers. Though it was underwear, its size made it look like a trouser.

Moreover, Teresa was lying in the most comfortable position in the world. On her side with one hand holding up her head, her feet were moving up and down.

“Oh, I can’t believe it. That son of a bitch.”

She was even cursing while watching a drama.

“She took care of you when you were at the lowest point of your life, and now that you’re over it, you’re casting her aside? Son of a bitch is too good a word to describe you!”

Just what drama is she watching? Seol Jihu murmured inwardly and glanced at the TV.

—Hic! How could you do this to me!?

—C’mon, let’s not drag each other in the mud.

—But! I… I’m pregnant with your child!

—...Sorry, I actually have an incurable illness….

—Let’s break up.

...It was a morning soap opera.

“Ah! I see! So the guy had an incurable illness….”

Before Seol Jihu noticed, Teresa’s eyes were welling up in tears.

“Princess, it’s just a show.”

“Ah, leave me alone. I’m getting to the good part.”

Seol Jihu tried to talk to her, but she shooed him away. Seol Jihu stared fixedly at Teresa, who was completely engrossed in the drama before walking into the kitchen.

He grabbed a few tangerines he bought on his way back and brought them to her on a plate, and she peeled them perfectly fine before tossing the pieces into the mouth.

“Oh, both citric and sweet. Do you have anything else?”

Seol Jihu rummaged through his kitchen cabinets, found a bag of chips, and gave it to her. Teresa took the bag and continued watching the drama. She must have liked the taste as she licked her fingers and nodded her head.

Just like that, an excellent NEET was born.

‘What incredible adaptability!’

Seol Jihu marveled.

How much time went by?

“Auuuuu! That was fun. I didn’t even notice the time fly by.”

Teresa watched until the last episode of the drama before lying on her back and stretching her arms and legs.

“What should I do next~?”

She looked around the room. After finding an ultrabook, she reached forward and pulled it over by the charging cable. She then spun herself to her stomach, lying flat.

She turned on the device and clicked on the mouse. Seol Jihu, who was already doubting his eyes, gasped in shock after seeing her type on the keyboard fluidly.

“Princess? Have you been to Earth before?”

“No, this is the first time.”

“Then how….”

“Isn’t it obvious? Besides, I watched how to operate this thing by watching the drama just now.”

“....”

“Let’s see. There was a website they used to store videos….”

Teresa went to YouTube and began to laugh while watching various videos.

“Ahahaha!”

Seol Jihu looked at Teresa worriedly. She looked like she was enjoying herself, but how should he put it… she was more of a homebody than he thought.

“Princess, isn’t there anything you want to see or do?”

Seol Jihu asked.

“Oh! What’s this? It looks fun.”

Seol Jihu craned his neck and looked at the ultrabook’s screen. He was wondering what it was. It turned out she was looking at a gameplay video.

“Oh, it’s War of Stars, the most popular MOBA game in Korea.”

“MOBA?”

“It’s a 5v5 battle arena where each player controls their avatar.”

“Oho….”

Teresa exclaimed quietly and then looked at Seol Jihu.

“Come to think of it, isn’t there a place with a bunch of computers packed together? What was it called again… a memecafe?”

“...A net cafe?”

“Right! That!”

Teresa clapped her hands.

“I saw it in the drama. When the male lead was unemployed, he used to play this game while eating ramen at net cafes! It looked fun.”

Teresa chattered excitedly.

“Ah~ I wish I could try going there once~”

“....”

“I want to try playing War of Stars in this ‘net cafe’~”

Teresa rolled around on the floor, singing. There was no helping her.

Seol Jihu looked at Teresa with worry. Watching a morning drama and then going to a net cafe? It was the standard procedure for becoming a fully-fledged NEET.

However, Seol Jihu soon changed his mind.

‘Maybe if it’s only on Earth.’

This trip was for Teresa in the first place. Rather than dragging her around here and there, letting her do what she was interested in might just be the best.

“You need to put on clothes if you want to go out.”

“Is this not good?”

“No. You’ll be arrested for public indecency if you go out in those clothes.”

Seol Jihu smiled and pointed at the shopping bags he brought.

“I didn’t know what you’d like, so I bought a bunch. I’ll be waiting outside, so come out after you get changed.”

Teresa ran toward the bags in a hurry. Somewhat excited to know what Teresa would choose, Seol Jihu waited outside with a pounding heart.

Soon, the sound of footsteps coming down the stairs rang out. Looking back, Seol Jihu exclaimed.

He saw Teresa walking down with a light-pink snapback with the word ‘PINK’ written on it. Even her top and bottom were light-pink sweats.

“How do I look?”

With a beaming smile, Teresa circled around Seol Jihu.

“...Very pink.”

Seol Jihu gave a short opinion.

Soon, the duo arrived at a nearby net cafe.

“You can double click this. I’ll give you an ID so you can log in to that. You can start by playing against AIs….”

Seol Jihu sat next to Teresa and taught her all sorts of things. Teresa learned at a surprising rate, quickly adapting herself to playing the game.

‘PvP will be a different beast though.’

War of Stars was a fun game if one got used to it, but there were actually many intricacies that made it difficult. Not even Teresa should be able to get familiar with it in one day.

This thought, however...

“I used my ulti. Walk to me. Ah, wait.”

...shattered into pieces in just one hour.

“Kill him! Just kill him! Just kill the bastard!!”

“....”

“Kill! Kill this son of a bitch!”

“....”

“This fucking bitch. Come over here! Ahahaha! Die! Die you piece of shit!”

Teresa stomped through the enemy team and destroyed the enemy base.

“Easy. Can I play against people and not robots? Robots aren’t that good.”

Slurp. Teresa chattered while eating cup-ramen that Seol Jihu ordered for her.

Seol Jihu spoke in disapproval.

“I don’t think it’s a good idea to be playing against real people.”

“Why not? It’s not fun playing against AI.”

“PvP is different. And since this is an online game, many people don’t hesitate to throw all sorts of curses.”

“Don’t worry. I won’t lose in a keyboard battle.”

“Where did you learn… Okay, okay, I’ll queue you up.”

A normal game began. As expected, Teresa had a hard time. Playing against real people was completely different than playing against AI.

She was doing well for a newbie, but she made one crucial mistake and ended up dying.

“Ah! Damn it!”

When she died a second time, Teresa yelled in frustration.

Seol Jihu, who was nervously looking at the team chat, furrowed his brows. As expected…

—[Team Chat][Ally] Yujin Roh: Ehew.

A teammate began to chat.

—[Team Chat][Ally] Yujin Roh: You’re so bad. Did you really die as soon as you got back in the lane?

—[Team Chat][Ally] PinkP: Sorry, it’s my first time playing today.

—[Team Chat][Ally] Yujin Roh: Why are you playing normals if it’s your first time playing lol. So useless.

—[Team Chat][Ally] PinkP: ?

—[Team Chat][Ally] Yujin Roh: This game’s lost. God damn it. Why do I always end up in a team with useless fucks without parents?

—[Team Chat][Ally] PinkP: My parents are perfectly alive and healthy. Aren’t you too harsh? Did you play like a pro when you first began?

—[Team Chat][Ally] Yujin Roh: Yeah, I did. At least, I was on a completely different level than a troll like you.

—[Team Chat][Ally] PinkP: What was that? A troll?

—[Team Chat][Ally] Yujin Roh: Why am I even talking to this trash. I’m muting you. Bye.

—[Team Chat][Ally] PinkP: Hey.

—[Team Chat][Ally] PinkP: Hey.

—[Team Chat][Ally] PinkP: Hey, you son of a bitch!

Tak, tak, tak, tak! Teresa typed on the keyboard crazily.

“This son of a bitch. You dare speak ill of my father and mother!? Are your parents healthy? Hmm?”

The teammate did not respond. It seemed he really muted her.

“Princess, you should just mute him too….”

Seol Jihu tried to calm her down, but Teresa did not listen. If Seol Jihu wasn’t seeing things, she seemed to be burning with a fiery blaze.

“How do you send him a whisper?”

“Huh? Why?”

“Just tell me!”

Pressured by Teresa, Seol Jihu explained how. When he glanced at her screen wondering what she was up to….

—[Whisper][Ally] PinkP: Bro.

—[Whisper][Enemy] KaChaos: ?

—[Whisper][Ally] PinkP: Our mid’s in your jungle right now.

Seol Jihu witnessed Teresa’s betrayal.

—[Whisper][Enemy] KaChaos: For real? Why are you telling me this?

—[Whisper][Ally] PinkP: Cuz I don’t wanna see this asshole talking like he’s a bigshot.

—[Whisper][Enemy] KaChaos: Lmao did he say something to you?

—[Whisper][Ally] PinkP: That too, but he’s just too full of himself. He said you’re a piece of trash and that he’d stomp all over you.

—[Whisper][Enemy] KaChaos: What? This bitch. The fk?

Seol Jihu stared at the screen. The enemy mid laner moved to the jungle right away, found Teresa’s team’s mid laner, and easily killed him with the help of their jungler.

—[All Chat][Ally] Yujin Roh: Shit, how did you know?

—[All Chat][Enemy] KaChaos: lmfao you’re so trash lolololol

Even after that, Teresa told the enemy team where the team’s midlaner was, and the enemy midlaner continued to get kills with the info.

—[All Chat][Ally] Yujin Roh: Nice maphack shithead.

—[All Chat][Enemy] KaChaos: It’s called skill lolol. Why are you so bad lololol

—[All Chat][Ally] Yujin Roh: Nice maphack shithead.

—[Team Chat][Ally] PinkP: Hello, top and jungle players, can you tell our mid not to walk around so much and stay safe? He’s dying more than me.

—[Team Chat][Ally] PD: It’s too late. This game’s over.

—[Team Chat][Ally] Editor: What’s wrong with our mid. Bro, can you stop trolling?

—[Team Chat][Ally] Yujin Roh: No, our bottoms just dying so…

—[Team Chat][Ally] Manager: You’re dying the most lmao. Stop talking.

The allies seemed to have disliked Yujin Roh’s attitude as they began to trash talk him too.

—[All Chat][Ally] Yujin Roh: My team thinks this game’s on me. How?

Feeling like he was the black sheep in the team, Yujin Roh tried to elicit a different response from the other team, but….

—[All Chat][Enemy] MoreOnNaver: Yeah this game’s on you lol

—[All Chat][Enemy] JoaraLove: You’re actually so bad.

—[All Chat][Enemy] KaChaos: PinkP might be better than you lol.

It did not go as he expected.

—[All Chat][Ally] Yujin Roh: Okay, I know I didn’t play the best, but how can you even compare me to our bot?

—[All Chat][Enemy] KaChaos: Nice excuse. And how many deaths do you have again?

—[All Chat][Ally] Yujin Roh: Fuck off.

—[All Chat][Enemy] KaChaos: Ehew, there’s someone like this guy no matter where you go.

—[All Chat][Enemy] JoaraLove: Yeah, I know a guy like him too. He signed a contract in 2013 and gave the ebook manuscript in 2017 lol

—[All Chat][Enemy] MoreOnNaver: Wow, he sounds like a terrible guy.

—[All Chat][Ally] Editor: For real. How is that different about guys who give their manuscript at 4:30 pm when it’s due at 5 pm? Screw these guys who want editing to be done in 30 minutes!

—[Team Chat][Ally] Manager: Exactly. I have less than 10 minutes to convert the file and send the email.

—[Team Chat][Ally] PD: What’s so hard about having stockpile chapters? These guys don’t listen!

Before anyone noticed, the game turned into a Yujin Roh trash-talking fiesta.

Then...

[Yujin Roh has left the game.]

Unable to endure all the criticism, Yujin Roh left the game crying.

“Hmph! Piece of cake!”

Teresa dusted her hands and smiled with satisfaction.

Seol Jihu shuddered…

“I’m starting to get hungry. Do you want to go outside?”

Then he stared dazedly at the smiling Teresa.

‘Just who… is this person…?’