There is no cure for love

What happened that night became a turning point in the relationship between Lin Heng and I, and there were subtle changes in our relationship.

I can't tell what it is, but I feel like something has changed.

After all, we have known each other for more than ten years, and we have already formed a tacit understanding. We live an ordinary life, and if we don't mention Song Nianqing anymore, it seems as if such a person does not exist at all. However, I always have a question in my heart Or rather, I am worried, how long will such peaceful days last?

I'm not sure when Lin Heng will leave again. God, in fact, he never belonged to me, so why would he leave?

I tried my best to hide my worries and live a peaceful life. I even comforted myself, just look at the present and don’t worry about the future. I would sleep or write something at home during the day, and cook in the afternoon and wait for him to come back from work. Sometimes we would go together. Go for a walk and go shopping together in the supermarket.

When I got off work very late, he started to pick me up every day, saying that it was different for me, a girl with dark hair, to be accompanied by someone. He scolded the security guard at the door much more than I did. I was jealous, so he comforted me by saying , "The relationship between men is sometimes just a cigarette, do you understand?"

Sometimes when I stay up late to finish a manuscript, Lin Heng will make me a cup of coffee in exchange for the cigarettes on my fingertips, or he will take me back to the bedroom when I am sleeping in front of the computer. There are times when I think that he has a place for me in his heart. , all we need is time.

Time just clung to the flow of water, and I didn't listen to Zhirou's words, even if I made a little effort to fight for them.

I know my own character too well and always wait for things to come naturally.

Lin Heng's work is on the right track. Maybe it's because he likes it. He is very motivated every day. When I go out every morning, I feel that Lin Heng seems to have changed a little. He is working hard.

We just lived like this, like lovers, but not lovers.

When we have nothing to do, we always stay at home. Compared with Lin Heng when he was young, he is more stable now. At least he is not like in high school, thinking about how to go out and play all day long. We We are on the sofa, eating snacks and watching movies together. Sometimes when he is tired or thinks the movie is boring, he will hold the computer and play games by himself. When he is happy, he laughs, and when he is unhappy, he turns off the computer. Sleepy.

Lu Yun spends every day busy. In addition, she gets nervous in the group all day long, complaining that her mother arranges blind dates for her all day long. Meng Zhirou and I watch her roar every day, Sometimes when teasing me, she has a vicious mouth, and in turn says that I have not made any progress for so long, which is simply embarrassing.

I'm actually not in a hurry. Some things cannot be rushed. Perhaps, I know very well in my heart that if Lin Heng doesn't like me and has no interest in me, it will be useless no matter how anxious I am. If he likes me, even if I stand still, , he will also take the initiative to approach me, right?

Meng Zhirou and Chen Jinting, a model couple who envied others, showed off their affection in front of us every day. Meng Zhirou always sighed and said, "When I divorced Shen Yi, I was extremely disappointed with men and marriage. I originally thought about dying alone. Come on, I didn’t expect to meet Chen Jinting. Let me tell you, love can’t be too absolute!”

After saying goodbye to a scumbag like Shen Yi, she finally met the right person.

Meng Zhirou also encouraged me in a subtle way, not to always accept things as they come, sometimes in life you have to give it a try, but I just responded without taking any action.

Ultimately, it's because I lack courage and I'm afraid. Ultimately, it's because I have low self-esteem.

Even though I have had plastic surgery and lost weight, I can still be considered a beauty when I stand out now, but I always feel inferior in front of Lin Heng. He knows exactly what I was like before. Even though I am a different person now, in front of him, I still feel inferior. I always feel like Cinderella who has changed into a beautiful dress. No matter how beautiful I look, I can't hide my true appearance.

This is my greatest sorrow. Although I only had double eyelid surgery and canthoplasty surgery, a person with small eyes and a person with big eyes are really two different people. When I first had plastic surgery, people stared at my eyes every time I went out. Look, I was embarrassed and didn’t want to go out. I was afraid that other people would point fingers or make irresponsible remarks when I meet my classmates. I know that a lot of words can make a fortune, but accumulation can destroy bones. Gradually, a few years have passed, and every day Every time I was outside and someone complimented me and said, "Miss Mo, you are very beautiful," I would smile and nod and say thank you, calmly, as if I was born with it. These are all acquired through practice.

There is a saying that if you tell a lie too many times, it will become a reality, and you may even think it is true. But when I faced Lin Heng, I was like a goblin who was beaten back to his original form by Sun Wukong's stick.

Over the years, I rarely attend class reunions, especially college classmates. They have witnessed my weight of 170 pounds and withdrawn personality. I don’t want to appear in front of them in my current posture. But there are very few high school classmates. I know what I looked like in college, but I only remember that I was a chubby girl in high school. Although I was fat, I was far from the ridiculous weight of 170 pounds.

The ubiquitous inferiority in my heart made me feel guilty in front of Lin Heng.

So my inaction was entirely because I was not convinced.

Finally, things took a turn.

If it hadn't been for that night, maybe Lin Heng and I would still be living the same ordinary life as before.

That night when the landlady came to collect the rent, Lin Heng and I were sitting on the sofa watching TV. The plot was very funny. The two of us sat on the sofa and laughed like crazy. The landlady came in and explained her purpose. I quickly asked her to sit down. , and then go to the room to get the money.

When I came out, I saw her counting money and happily chatting with Lin Heng. I quickly walked over and held the landlady's hands that counted money with great joy. I put the prepared money into his hand, and then put it in his hand. Lin Heng took the money back and stuffed it into his wallet, "I'll pay for it."

The landlady looked at me very puzzled and said, "Don't the young couple have the same money?"

Lin Heng said angrily, "I've already spent all my money. Isn't it different? Auntie, take it from me! I just paid my salary and it's still warm!"

I turned around and glared at Lin Heng, then looked at the landlady gently and said with a smile, "I'm sorry, Auntie, I was supposed to send it to you, so please make a trip." Lin Heng sat down. On one side, there was no sound.

"It's okay, I stopped by. My old man is still waiting for me downstairs, so I won't disturb the rest of you two. I'll leave first." The landlady said politely.

She probably misunderstood the relationship between me and Lin Heng. Also, anyone who saw this scene would think that Lin Heng and I were a couple. Because at this time, he was lying on the sofa in his pajamas. I came here to rent a house. Son, she knows that I am a radio host and I am single. It is normal that I have a boyfriend now.

After the landlord left, I sat back on the sofa and continued watching TV calmly. Lin Heng's darkened face flashed through my mind, filled with unhappiness.

Neither of them talked, only the sound of the TV echoed in the room.

After a while, Lin Heng changed the subject.

"Maureen, we need to talk." He stared into my eyes with a serious expression. It seemed that he had never been so formal since I met him.

I straightened up and faced him and said yes.

“I live here and it’s natural to pay the rent,” he said.

"Lin Heng, you are just my guest. I can still afford the rent." I insisted.

"But, I'm not here to stay for three or two days." He paused, thought for a while and then said, "Why are you so stubborn."

"Lin Heng, you should understand me. I'm not being stubborn. I don't want this to be the reason for us to quarrel. If you really expect to pay the rent, then I can go out with you to find a house, maybe tomorrow, at your convenience.

"

After saying this, I regretted it. I insisted on sticking to the principle but I didn't really want to drive him away. I was very clear about our relationship. I am such a woman. Even if we live together, I have to pay the rent myself.

What's more, the relationship between us is not like that.

If I make him pay the rent tonight, what's the deal between us?

I remembered what Zhirou said, what on earth did Lin Heng take me to be.

I couldn't help but look into his eyes and think about this problem that has been bothering me for a long time.

When Lin Heng heard this, his expression immediately froze, like a frozen ice cube. His expression was extremely ugly. Maybe he didn't expect me to be so decisive. In front of him, I have always been gentle and well-behaved.

I knew that this kind of conversation had to stop, and it would be useless for both of us to continue. I was afraid that seeing him hesitate to speak, I suddenly felt sorry, so I got up and went into the bedroom, and we ended up unhappy.

Lin Heng was stunned in the living room. After a while, I heard him turn off the TV. It was extremely quiet at night.

It was night. Due to my menstrual period, I was tossing and turning in bed in the middle of the night. The acupuncture-like pain made me hate myself for being a woman. I tiptoed to the kitchen to heat water, and saw in the darkness

There was a little orange firelight in the living room that was particularly conspicuous in the dark, silky night.

He hasn't slept yet.

He came over and took the kettle from my hand, tried my forehead, and looked at the pained expression on my face and asked me, "Is your friend here?"

I nodded. I had already shown no shyness towards him. It was not that he didn’t understand.

"I'll do it. You go and sit on the sofa, wrap yourself in a quilt and be careful not to catch a cold."

Finally, I sat on the sofa and waited for him to boil water for me. As soon as I took out a cigarette, lit it and took a puff, Xu Shuyang came over and took the cigarette from between me, put it on his mouth, and handed me a glass of hot milk with one hand.

I took the milk and watched him smoking the cigarette I had smoked. I felt a heat on my face. When I was wondering if this was an indirect kiss, Xu Shuyang tucked me in and suddenly said something, which surprised me.

I almost squirted out the milk.

He said, Maureen, how about we give it a try.

I froze for an instant, and the pain in my body reminded me that this was true. This sentence that I had waited for twelve years suddenly entered my ears, catching me off guard, but my thoughts felt that it was natural.

After twelve years, I have finally arrived. I have tears to shed and my face is full of emotion.

I clenched the milk in my hand and tried to hide the turbulence in my heart. I took a sip of the milk and said slowly, "Lin Heng, please think clearly, I am a white rose, not a red rose. You said it many years ago, In this life, white roses are your friends, but red roses are the ones that can make you surrender."

I have always remembered this sentence. At that time, we were still in high school and were crazy about Zhang Ailing's novels. When he finished reading "White Rose and Red Rose", he said this sentence to me. I remember it for many years. Later, Meng Zhi Rou encountered a mistress like Lan Qin and divorced Shen Yi. She also said that Lan Qin was the red rose that fascinated Shen Yi's eyes.

Men can never resist the temptation of enchanting women.

I expected to get a satisfactory answer from him, but he didn't. He just looked me in the eyes and said firmly, "Mauren, you have to believe me."

I feel a little disappointed.

There are only two reasons for disappointment, one is choosing the wrong person, and the other is having expectations that should not be had.

I don't know which one I am.

The next second, he came closer to me, and his face became bigger and bigger in my pupils, and I could clearly see the fine fuzz on his face.

When Lin Heng kissed me, my body trembled slightly from surprise and pain.

He moved gently on my lips, waiting for my response.

My mind goes blank.

After a while, I began to respond to his kiss awkwardly but seriously.

I remember someone said that among the happiest things in life, the first kiss ranks first.