This director only makes bad movies

Tao Heng is a professional film critic. His usual job is to watch movies and then write movie reviews online.

His source of income is reviewing movies. Movie parties often contact him and ask him to write a good movie review to attract others to watch the movie.

Of course, some people also contacted him to write negative reviews to criticize other movies.

In short, as long as the money is given, Tao Heng can make it, whether it is a black movie or a flattering movie.

If no one gives money, Tao Heng will evaluate the movies he has watched based on his true feelings.

Because of his profession, Tao Heng is very concerned about the release of movies, and the recent hit movie "Along the River During the Qingming Festival" is his focus.

While shopping, Tao Heng passed by a theater and was surprised to find that the movie "Along the River During the Qingming Festival" had already been released in the theater.

This surprised him.

He remembered clearly that this movie was not supposed to be released until tomorrow, so why was it released early today.

Is this an attempt to get a better reputation by releasing it earlier?

Out of curiosity and for work, Tao Heng went directly to the cinema and bought a ticket for "Along the River During the Qingming Festival".

Zhang Yange is a famous director, and the quality of the movies he releases is definitely not much different.

The big screen lit up, and Tao Heng cheered up.

At the beginning, there is a close-up of a picture, and then in the corner is the list of main creators and characters.

The picture should be the Along the River During Qingming Festival.

But why is the quality of this picture so poor? It doesn’t look beautiful at all.

After all, it’s an important prop in the movie, so why can’t you spend more money to buy something better?

After the brief introduction, it is the main part of the movie.

Not to mention that the picture quality is very average. Two guys in white coats were chatting in the corridor, talking about how important the painting Along the River During the Qingming Festival was.

According to the film's subtitles, both men are renowned expert professors.

But the problem is

You told me that these two are experts, but they don’t look like experts at all. Why can’t they hire a few actors who fit the character’s image?

And the uniform is actually a white coat? It was still the kind of white coat that was of poor quality and wrinkled, which looked very inferior at first glance.

In just the first few minutes of the movie, Tao Heng couldn't help but frown.

Is this a movie made by Zhang Yange?

Alas, Zhang Yange, who won the Palme d'Or in his first film, was so poor at the beginning.

In just a few minutes, the movie has a cheap plastic feel, like a movie produced by a low-level company.

No, even a movie from an inferior company wouldn't have such a bad beginning.

Holding back the discomfort in his heart, Tao Heng continued to read.

His defense is still very high, so he won't be able to watch for more than a few minutes.

The plot progressed rapidly as time progressed. Two experts and several policemen sent the Qingming River Scene to the museum and protected it closely.

Tao Heng couldn't help but want to complain.

Are you a museum?

This is clearly a classroom. The chalk writing on the blackboard at the back has not been wiped clean.

Still closely guarded?

What you call strict protection is to surround the Qingming Riverside Scene with school desks, and then send a few guys who look like they are old, weak, sick and disabled to stand around and guard it?

The gun he held was actually a toy gun!

Tao Heng had been following the information about "Along the River During Qingming Festival" on the Internet for a long time, and also knew that this movie was a treasure hunt film.

The routines of this kind of movies are fixed. At the beginning, they talk about how precious, how important, and how significant a certain treasure is.

Then some cruel and evil organization or individual breaks through the numerous guards and steals the treasure.

Then the protagonist sets out to pursue the treasure. After going through a series of difficulties and even experiencing a big setback in the middle, he rises up after a lot of effort and finally defeats the villain with great difficulty and gets the treasure back.

"Along the River During the Qingming Festival" was obviously shot according to this routine, but whether it was the props, the actors, or the venue, it all smelled of fakeness.

I'm wrong. Fake and shoddy movies are defective products. This movie cannot be called a defective product because it is an insult to defective products. It should be called a defective product.

Tao Heng's desire to complain was high.

The movie quickly progresses to the point where the villains are snatching the treasure.

When the villain breaks through the many guards, the classic code door and red light barrier appear.

but.

Why is your red light just a simple red yarn, with both ends stuck to the wall with tape?

The most ridiculous thing is that when the villain broke through the yarn, he knocked off a few yarns.

There is also a password door, which is just an ordinary iron door.

There is also a password, is it actually a password lock?

It seems like you can buy this on the street for only a few dozen yuan, right?

Didn't I say that "Along the River During Qingming Festival" cost hundreds of millions of dollars to film? Are you sure it cost hundreds of millions to film?

How about giving him a thousand yuan to shoot this clip and leaving a few hundred yuan in the end?

Just when Tao Heng was mentally building up and confirming that this movie was rubbish, the classic car chase scene still made him collapse.

The evil and terrifying villain organization in the movie ended up using a van to escape crazily on a country road.

There was also a female police officer responsible for the pursuit, who also drove a van to chase the criminals on a rural dirt road.

Brother, car chase scene, oh, car chase scenes that have created so many classic scenes, why don’t you give me this one?

You sent me away with two vans. Who are you fooling?

The final decisive battle was a little interesting, and the scene was not small.

Tao Heng's body trembled while watching this scene.

Because the actress didn't pay attention to logic at all when knocking down the enemy. Even though she didn't hit the opponent with her kick, the opponent still fell to the ground. The whole process was so soft that people who watched it wanted to laugh.

In the end, Tao Heng could only think of the actress' long, slender legs.

The director also has no lower limit. The entire scene, including the action scene that lasts for more than ten minutes, is completely used to highlight the long legs.

There is also the decisive battle with the final villain. This is a decisive battle. Even the fight between elementary school students is a hundred times more intense. How about you two decide the outcome with rock, paper, scissors?

As for the toy gun shootout and the sound of simulating gunfire with his mouth, Tao Heng didn't bother to talk about it. Compared with other shortcomings, this is nothing at all.

Halfway through the movie, Tao Heng wanted to get up and leave.

But when he thought that this movie was made by Zhang Yange, Tao Heng still resisted the urge to leave.

After all, this is Zhang Yange, a famous director, and maybe there will be a reversal later.

But after watching the entire movie, Tao Heng was convinced that there was no turning back.

This movie, through and through.

big! rotten! ! piece! ! !