This Eroge Won't Make Me Fall!

A constant buzzing spread through the air as dozens of people gathered around on a floating island. The greens and blues of the Elysium Tower were blocked by the clutter of people in the way.

The vast empty space, Island number 3, served as the entrance to the tower for all the students and the staff. Except with special permission, even adventurers weren't allowed inside making it the complete private property of the Academy.

I sighed. There were easily about two hundred prospects in this place.

"Don't worry, Lord Eugene, only about sixty will fail to make it through."

"Ah… what if I fail? Young master even scammed the princess for this!"

"Now, now, Miss Lily. Worry not, you're quite the splendid candidate, you'll finish this with ease."

Sophia and Lily continued their chatter just like the rest of the students here. No one else was allowed up on the platform, so the senior students curious about the new ones were watching over the events from the other islands around.

Lethe was probably among them. I thought of using the mask to hide my face, but Lethe didn't need to see to be able to see, so that was useless.

Right then, the chatter of the crowd came to a sudden stop.

Floating mid-air with loose green and blue robes cascading down his arms, a young man with deep blonde hair suddenly appeared.

"Who's that?" I asked, leaning back.

"It's the principal!" Sophia answered.

"Ah, got it…" I had, naturally, studied up on all the staff after making the Dark Moon run some rounds for me. It reminded me of my Pantheon, so I took a similar degree of precaution.

From what they ate to what time their children returned from daycare, I knew it all.

This man who apparently held charisma and looks that would be on an actor in their twenties was actually a hundred and four year old fossil.

"Welcome, dear children…"

And the man started yapping.

I wasn't interested, so I didn't listen.

"Say, Titania," I muttered under my breath. "Do you think it will work?"

Titania floated up my shoulder and leaned against my ears. "It may have been tough, but it'll be easy with Aine around."

Aine, the blue-haired fairy, was another chuunibyou that used to be Titania's right-hand man in her dark days. They were pretty serious about their shtick to the point she let herself be spanked even after all those years. These delusional fairies were a different breed.

"That said, Eugy…" Titania whispered. "Don't you think you're working me a lot these days? I am just a guide, not an aide."

"It's because you're my prince, Titania!"

"Hoho, for you I'll bring this kingdom to its knees!"

"Titania!"

"Eugy!"

"What is he doing?" Sophia whispered to Lily, her eyes narrowed in confusion.

"He has some strokes like that a few times a day, just ignore it, my lady."

I can hear you bastards!

At least try to show some shame.

The principal's speech came to an end by the time I bothered with listening again. The crowds of students were moving around.

A few more of the school faculty were floating above some tents placed in the corners of the Island.

"Then, Lord Eugene, we'll see you later."

"Bye, bye, young master."

"Yeah, sure."

I could make these things out without having to listen. The students who had never entered a dungeon were being sent to the tents with the Terrifying Teal Tablet to make contracts with fairies. I thought it odd for them to be removing sixty students after tying them up with fairies, but fairies could terminate the contract on their own as well.

"All those who will enter directly, please line up here!"

I followed the sound and moved toward the last tent separated from the others. My eyes scuttled around the place for people that seemed strong.

A set of two of similar height.

A group of three, one of whom was likely the princess of Schwarz based on her black hair like the night.

Another eye-patched woman, who was staring back at me while trembling.

I noticed some frail people with a huge mana reserve as well, which was rare.

Amongst the people in the line-up, who had already experienced the life of an adventurer, almost all of them stood out from the rest.

Far up front, they were being handed a device that would protect them from major injuries by summoning a barrier.

"Oh wait, did that fossil explain the rules too?" I stopped and thought.

Back in Pantheon, the principal's speech had lasted a useless three days, so I had naturally tuned out all voice.

"Eugy, are you actually an idiot?"

"That has never been the case."

"I mean, you do place horses on your back and run around. And not to mention, you even sold a baron into a BDSM club."

"Am I an idiot…?"

Nah. That's like saying fire is cold. I was born smart. Smart was me. Dictionaries used my name in the definition of 'smart,' yup. As far as the rules went, I could just ask the other guy.

"Jinyu," a light hand reached to slap my back, so I turned and swung at the face of the hand's owner.

This was the other guy.

"They're asking for the adventurer ID as well," the guy, Albert, peeped over the line behind me and said.

There were only two groups that could use the Terrifying Teal Tablet and make people sign contracts with fairies, and those were none other than the Adventurer Guild and this academy. Even the other academies in the Academy city had to register their students as adventurers to get them access to the dungeons.

"What's the issue?" I asked.

"I never joined the adventurer guild."

"Scum."

Sighing, I shook my head and snapped my fingers. A gold-plated card formed in my hands straight out of my spatial dimension as I tossed it to Albert.

"Yours?"

"You think my name is something stupid like Megalodon?"

I had swiped out Sharky and Zachariah's cards before leaving the guild while they were drunk. It was purely because those bastards dared try to trick me and make me take them along. Spending your life's savings to get another card made was perfect for punishment.

Albert casually pocketed the card and the two of us started moving along with the line. One after the other, the students were slowly passing by the other end of the tent and their presence would disappear.

Right before our turn came along, a commotion broke out in a distant tent.

"I-It broke!"

"The Tablet broke!? What the hell?"

"Woah! Crazy! Has this happened before?"

Albert and I narrowed our gazes.

"It's begun," Albert muttered. "Do you think this plan will work?"

"It doesn't have to," I said. "It's just an act of mercy. Don't worry about it and let Titania and Aine handle the big thing."

"Right," Albert nodded. "An act of mercy."

We shifted our gaze away from the tents as our turn came along. I stepped inside and handed my card to the staff floating above the ground. It seemed there was something special about the third island itself instead of it just being used as the entrance.

"T-this!" Y-you're THAT Dusk!??"

"Oh, want an autograph—"

"Leave this academy, you crazy bastard. I'll tell the principal right now! PTA! We can't have such a crazy bastard in this academy!"

Fuck. Adventurer time's office was going to be hit again. I'll kill those bastards.

Thankfully, some minor convincing made the faculty member want to see me getting my ass kicked in the academy and I was let through without any hassle.

"You can just through the other end of the tent."

"I'll wait for that guy," I said, pointing at Albert.

Rizzler handed his fake card over without a single shred of hesitation.

"Megalodon… Are you the prince of Pinot, by the way?"

"Hahaha, want an autograph—"

"Leave this academy! PTA! PTAA!!"

Fuck. Maybe it was this faculty member that sucked. If only I knew what he looked like, I would have kidnapped his children.

After some more convincing, the two of us were finally let go.

The faculty member urged us to get going, but we waited for the last two students behind us to move first. They were going to complain, but shut up when they heard I was Dusk.

"That's the entrance, right?" Albert asked.

"Yup," I nodded. "All dungeons leave you at random places."

"Eugy, I can sense it now."

I nodded.

"Titania, Aide, we'll leave it to you."

"Got it." Titania nodded and Aide sighed.

I raised my fist toward Albert, and he bumped fists with mine.

"Let's go."

With that, the two of us stepped through the tent.

And the world changed.

***

A young boy opened his eyes.

A familiar place. A familiar dungeon. He knew it well.

A condition to team up in groups of three and collect golem cores. He had just heard the rules but was already familiar with them.

As he pushed himself off the ground and stood up in the wide, wide cave-like structure, his eyes fell on the sight in front of him.

Fallen on the ground were two people, one a regal prince with hair of brown.

And another, a white-haired man with a missing finger and a scar running down his chest.