This Eroge Won't Make Me Fall!



"Hey, hey, did you hear?"

Whispers were afloat in the halls of the strongest faction other than the student council in the Academy.

"Hear what?"

"You know, that Noa girl?"

"Oh! The one who was brought back from hell!"

"Yes yes! Did you hear? She joined that other kid's faction even though they weren't taking anyone in!"

The two girls squealed in excitement.

"For reals? Like, there's just four people in that faction now?"

"I heard they might even be living together!"

"What! Well we're all adults! But, seriously! Are first years going to get married now?"

"That would be so crazy! It's so romantic!"

"Those two seem perfect for each other too!"

It was then, that the wall behind them was smacked.

The two gossiping girls straightened up at once as cold air wafted around their necks as they slowly turned back. Standing right there in a lavender dress and a similarly colored veil was someone who they could only call the definition of beauty itself.

Their feet quaked as the woman stared them down. They couldn't see anything through her veil, but her intensity could not be hidden behind her veil.

"Who are you two talking about?" The veiled lady asked.

"T-that… leader…"

"Don't stutter. Names, now."

"I-it's the first years Eugene Hall and Noa Roselle mam!"

"They're living together? Perfect for each other? And what was that about marriage?"

Was their leader perhaps interested in such gossip? The two girls looked at each other, and then with a much more relaxed smile, back at their leader.

"Yeah, haha! Isn't it crazy? We've been hearing rumors like that."

"I think they suit each other. I mean, who would go to Hell to save someone—"

The cold air went even colder as the leader of the two stretched her hands ahead and grabbed them by their collars.

"I would. I have already done it."

"Heh?"

"L-l-leader…?"

"I've had enough," she dropped them and said. "It's fine if people are eyeing him, but how dare anyone say he belongs to them?"

"Who is the leader talking about?"

"No way."

The leader turned toward them again. "Listen well, Eugene Hall is mine. Speak any of your bullshit again and I'll end you."

"Eugene Hall?"

"Yours…?"

After threatening them in broad daylight, she turned away again. Words were enough, she was going to take some action.

The two girls left behind watched her back fade away, and then—

"AAAAH! It's a love triangle! A love triangle!"

"Oh my! I need to tell everyone right now! Our leader is smitten with a taken man!"

The misunderstanding only deepened. The gossipers' bravery was unending.

***

"Dude, Albert is pretty pissed that you're not coming to that hideout he made."

With those words from Luka, Noa and I had no choice left but to go there. After the meeting with the Fonias ended smoothly, I had sent a letter to the Dark Moon to gather back in Apollon, it would take them a month at the least.

Well, we had a festival to worry about before that.

"So, I was thinking," Albert said, leaning against his single couch. As usual, Luka took the double, and Noa and I kicked each other over the triple seater. "How about making this place a dating zone? I had more like a maze in mind. We ask them different questions and give the different routes, and eventually, you find the answers that would lead you to a house where you can meet with the other person who chose all the same answers."

"Huh." A maze that leads to matching you with a partner, not bad. "How will you stop people from going to the same room that is already occupied?"

Albert crossed his arms.

"How about kicking them out right away?" Noa said.

"Oh! And we can also play some instruments, that will make them come out on their own."

"God damn it, Luka. What's this obsession?" Albert snapped and Luka lowered his head like a puppy that had just been scolded. It seemed they had been doing this for a while.

I yawned and kicked away Noa's legs once more to take up more space, she kicked back and pushed me down instead, I did the same and we engaged in high speed kick battles again.

"We can plan them a date. Just leaving people alone won't be making them cozy up, a personalized date plan for each of the questions that you need to get to right away."

"Not bad. We absolutely have to do this though, huh—Ow! No pinching, bitch."

"Skill issue."

Albert saw us and shook his head, and so did Luka. I used to think that Luka was involved with all the regressors, but turns out that wasn't the case even though it should have been. They were heroines in the game but never got anywhere. Luka also didn't bat an eye at my proximity to Noa and in fact, cheered her on for finding a good friend.

"We have to," Albert said. "That blonde old fucker threatened us. I am not willing to let go of our own personal island."

It was quite the power move to have an Island that could house more than a hundred to just four people.

"Then, in that case, the next issue is money."

Noa posed.

"No issue."

"No issue."

Albert and I spoke at the same time.

"I know you guys are stacked, but this one we can't do with our own money. Tell them, Noa."

"Of course, we'll make the other factions pay us."

Luka and Noa tilted their head in confusion.

"Why would they do that?"

"You can't extort money either, stupid."

Tsk.

Stupid brats. They didn't know yet the power advertisements held.

"We'll put up ads for their stores, and put their events in the date plan."

"The ones who refuse to pay us won't get any ads. We can also put bands or shirts on the couples to advertise ourselves. When they hear the plans they'll understand what they'll be missing out on."

"An offer you really can't refuse…"

"That's slightly devilish…"

"Eugene, I want to make this a subscription service."

"How about keeping the date plans and the merch only for higher tier customers? We can also get that stupid Sachertorte faction to sponsor us with their food, it's perfect for dates."

"Woah, they're only growing more devilish…" Luka and Noa watched us with fear in their eyes.

It was then that we didn't notice.

The person standing outside the windows. A veiled person, staring straight toward our hearts.