This Eroge Won't Make Me Fall!

"Kid, you're alive."

"It was like going in a bath. Why were you so scared?" I raised my hand and showed off the new tattoo that still hurt like a bitch.

"Oh, that's quite the clear brand. You must have contracted a strong system."

I nodded and the receptionist started leading me out of the passageway and back to the hall of the guild.

The few adventurers who had cheered me on waved at me and said some words of congratulations. Just how many people had died in there?

[Quite a few. Alfheim deems inherently evil people as unworthy and sends out the faes to end them.]

I stopped in my tracks.

A strange window had appeared in front of me. The golden words etched on it were followed by a sweet, harmonious voice narrating it.

The receptionist didn't notice me and went behind the counter while I tried too push my hands through the window.

The few adventurers looked at me and laughed. When I pointed at it and turned to them, the shook their heads.

No one else could see it?

"Ara? You find this odd?"

The translucent golden window disappeared in thin air and was replaced by my fairy friend donning a gown.

She swerved around in the air and then settled down on my shoulders. Swinging her legs, Titania pointed ahead.

"Most fairies don't like to see their humans, so they use that window to communicate. I'll just speak for simple things, don't worry, no one else can see me."

I nodded and stopped at the reception. The lady was stopped tapping on her teal tablet and handed me a card.

"You'll need this during the examination tomorrow. There'll be a line, so come early. It's not easy to pass, so I suggest you keep yourself prepared."

I took the card from her and looked around. Much to my surprise, the time I had spent inside Alfheim was longer than I had thought and night had already fallen.

"Um, do you know any place I can stay the night at?"

The receptionist shifted her gaze up at me and crossed her hands. She thought for a few seconds before shaking her head.

"Hm, majority of the hotels and inns should be jam-packed with people since it's test season. The guild house is packed too, you'll have to try your luck in the outskirts."

Saying that, the receptionist pulled up a couple pamphlets and handed them to me.

She explained the location of each inn and told me to refer her.

"Then, thank you for everything," I said.

"If you're thankful then treat me to some food." She answered, waving me away. "And be on time, the line gets long and many people miss out."

"Got it, thanks again!"

With that, I exited the adventurer guild.

"Waa!!" Titania spun in the air as she floated up from my shoulders. I had entered alone and was now stepping out as a pair, the adventurer's guild was a dangerous place.

Titania seemed like a child seeing the stars for the first time as did a butterfly stroke mid-air while shouting gasps of admiration.

"I-I totally forgot the outside world is pretty too!"

I looked up and saw the stars. They seemed just like any other days stars.

"Is it?" I asked.

Titania suddenly floated in front of my face.

"Look at the smile on this beautiful face of mine, the outside world is a tenth as pretty. No maybe a twentieth."

"I can't see your face in the first place."

I didn't want to seem like a weirdo in a new town, so I kept my voice low while walking to the outskirts. There wasnt much of a need to, though. The prime of the night streets were behind me and the only ones walking around on the streets lit by the dim yellow street lights were either drunks or stragglers.

Titania crossed her arms, not missing the pace of her flight even a bit.

Then, she suddenly clasped my cheeks with her tiny hands again.

"You don't have to see me, I'll do that for you. I am the prettiest and cutest in the universe, got it?"

I smiled and took a step ahead. Titania was shook off and left behind before she floated right back and nestled herself in my hair.

"I don't need to see to know that."

"Right!"

"Know that I'm prettier and cuter."

I flicked my hair and smirked. Of course I was.

"Aah! Dummy! Curse you! May you never get a girlfriend!"

Titania cutely smacked my head, it felt like a tiny stuff toy trying to attack.

"Oh hey, we're at the inn."

Titania stopped hitting me and laid down on top of me, resting her cheek on her palms as I moved into the establishment.

"Did none of your previous contractors show you the outside world or something?"

I asked Titania as I entered.

"I haven't been contracted for seven thousand or something years. I forgot."

"Sorry, sir. All our rooms are full."

Well, no problems, I expected this. I moved to the next inn right away.

"You must have been jealous of the other fairies then? I guess the skies of Alfheim can get slightly sickening with how much that world moves on it's own."

"Haha what? You're lucky you didn't say it in front of the terrific teal tablet or Alfheim would have smacked you. Anyway, it's not like others can see the human world either. Though I never talked with them, I know that much."

"We're at capacity, sir."

No problems. The third.

"Why can't others see it?"

"It takes a lot of strength from both the fairy and the human to summon a fairy into this realm. Most of them only talk with their consciousness and don't put in any effort."

"Apologies sir, we can't accept more guests."

Fourth.

"What about you?"

"You're strong so I brought my entire body into your seal!"

"We're full."

"Sorry we're at capacity."

"All our rooms are booked."

"This is a swinger bar."

"No lodgings are available."

I dragged my feet back to the insides of the town. No matter where I checked. All rooms were booked. I even offered extra cash for kicking someone out but they outright refused.

This was the worst. I would have had to sleep my first night out in the open.

Just as I was thinking that, Titania spotted an obese person with a folded bag in his hands moving somewhere.

"Eugene! That's a tent!"

"No way, I couldn't see."

"No need for sass, I'll take cash instead."

Making haste, I pulled the tiptoeing person by his collars.

The man turned around and lowered his head whe twiddling his fingers.

"W-w-what is it!" He said.

I patted his shoulders in a friendly manner and smiled. "Where you going?"

He looked at me when I acted nice and started spreading his scrunched shoulders one after another.

"Ahha! T-this! I brought this tent just today. They're releasing the limited edition Tin Rohsaka voodoo figurine 4000FGO, so I have to get in line!" His shoulders widened and he giggled between each word.

"Wow, I am shocked for the first time in 10000 years, Eugene."

That's one bad trigger for the first shock in forever. Holding in my sigh, I looked at his tent.

Clean. Completely.

I patted his shoulders twice. I liked the guy, he knew something basic and important for all of humanity.

"Bet you need that tent to be first in line?"

That's right. Whether it's lunch line or figurine, being behind others was the worst.

The man nodded twice when I asked that question.

My lips curved into a wide smile.

Still nodding, he started crying.

Like a good child, he handed over the tent to me and sniffled.

"I-I'll still get the figure... You bastard."

"Figure? Who cares about that. I am registering—"

The man suddenly screamed and huffed. "I should have known! Damn normie!"

He suddenly screamed and turned away, shouting 'Tin~ Tin~'

"Huh," Titania scoffed. "He must have been cracked in the head."

"Really? He seemed normal to me." I shrugged. I totally understood where he was coming from. I used to do the same whenever a good weapon was about to be put for sale.

"Then! Let's go camp out in a good park!" Titania announced.

"What? Why? We'll be camping in front of the adventurer's guild. There's no way I'll be second in line."

With that, I heaved the tent up and moved to the adventurer guild again.

"I'm starting to think you're a bit cracked up there too..."