Unrequited Love

Zhang Mingrui returned to the study room alone, Sheng Huainan raised his head, the two of them looked at each other blankly. Zhang Mingrui glanced at the empty seat of Luo Zhi, did not ask anything, lowered his head and continued to flip through the book, picked up a pen and painted on the calculation paper.

Sheng Huainan did not ask where Xu Riqing had gone.

Just when Luo Zhi fell asleep, Sheng Huainan heard a rustling sound, and Xu Riqing on the opposite side stuffed a note to Zhang Mingrui. Zhang Mingrui glanced openly, crumpled it up, and nodded.

So the two people walked out of the study room together. Xu Riqing's expression couldn't be more obvious, obviously like Zhang Mingrui's teasing and caring about Luo Zhi. Sheng Huainan knew that these two people must have gone out for a showdown.

Zhang Mingrui is always joking and honest, but Sheng Huainan has always known that he is actually a sober and decisive boy. They all understand that when they should be cruel, they can only be cruel, even if it hurts face and leaves cracks.

However, I also believe in the simple and simple self, and now I am clearly doing something that is not simple. He seems to have a kind of laziness disease, he will only drag it stupidly, as if it was dragged out by time, he just needs to stand by and watch.

It just didn't take into account that, it became clear that there is another synonym called vicissitudes of life.

Goodbye, Your Majesty the Emperor.

His hesitation, let time polish her hidden sharpness and pride so dazzlingly, it almost hurt him.

The sun gradually dimmed, and the sun was again blocked by clouds. Sheng Huainan found that all the words in the book couldn't even make a sentence, and he was incomprehensible. Obviously the large section that I had just memorized a few minutes ago now looks so strange.

He raised his hand and gently touched his lips with his index finger. That kiss was lighter than his own touch, but it was so heavy that it dulled his heart. There was a word choked in his throat until her back disappeared behind the glass door, and he couldn't say it.

The simplest sentence.

Sheng Huainan closed the light green Ma Yuan textbook awe-inspiringly, and asked Zhang Mingrui: "Has anyone in our college dropped this subject before?"

Zhang Mingrui raised his head: "I haven't heard. What do you want to be recorded in the annals of history?"

"If you don't look, you can't go in."

"Are you crazy? You will take the exam tomorrow."

"Probably." He laughed.

Sheng Huainan collected his schoolbags, stood up and left, and when he passed by Zhang Mingrui, he heard a small sound "In fact, sometimes you look like this."

He was stunned. He didn't know if the other party was teasing him about his decision to naked Kaoma Yuan, but when he lowered his head and saw Zhang Mingrui's unsmiling profile, he immediately understood.

"Mother each other." He found that his cheeks were also stiff.

Take the elevator to the top floor of the Science Building, and then go up the side stairs at the corner to climb to the highest rooftop of the school.

He has always liked to stand on high places, empty high places. I forgot where I heard a sentence: "Some people in this world are born to be noticed, and some are born to be unwilling to be lonely. If the person who is unwilling to be lonely by nature happens to have a fate that is noticed by the people, then naturally it is the best of both worlds."

Sheng Huainan knew he was unwilling to be lonely.

It’s just that his so-called unwillingness to be lonely does not refer to the lively circle of friends-standing at the highest place and watching the mediocre crowds coming and going below can give him a kind of full and complete happiness- —Of course, we must use the attitude of looking down.

He is afraid of the so-called intimacy. It's not that he is worried that his shortcomings will be exposed and be abandoned by others, he just doesn't want them to be disappointed.

Is this subtle difference just barely good? Sheng Huainan doesn't often think about it, but once his thinking goes out of the way, he will never be able to pull it back.

The iron gate of the rooftop is ajar. He suddenly had a little unexplained expectation.

Is... Luo Zhi came here?

He once brought Luo Zhi to here. The only thing they could call it was a date game. He couldn't remember exactly where Houhai, Xidan, and Wangfujing went. What impressed me most was the many things she had said along the way, which seemed to be lightly carved on the curtain wall of memory with a knife.

The stories she told, the confusion she talked about, the hidden arrogance and pride, the gentle expectation and shyness when she lowered her head.

Before sending her back to the dormitory, he had a whim and said, "I'll take you to a place, OK?"

This rooftop seems to be his secret base. In high school, there was a library that was not open all year round. In fact, there was a way to climb the low roof from the outside. Sometimes he would climb up to get a hair dryer after escaping late self-study. No one knew, including Ye Zhanyan.

In fact, I have already liked Luo Zhi a long time ago—it is the kind of liking that makes people want to confess everything about themselves and share all their secrets, just waiting for her to compliment: It’s great here.

It was also that day, he vaguely talked about the people who he especially liked standing up and looking down. With his back on the bustling night view of the business district, Luo Zhi cast his eyes on the scattered lights of Miaoyuan on the north side of the school. It took him a long time to slowly say, "Me too, but I was forced before."

She murmured a lot of things, as if she was talking to the deep self, she woke up after a long while, squinted embarrassedly, and asked: "What about you? You shouldn't be a rejected outsider, right? You? There is a right to choose."

The last sentence is so affirmative, as if I have known him for many years and understand him deeply.

Sheng Huainan's eyes were blank and he was silent for a long time. The girl next to him hurriedly apologized, saying that he took the liberty. But she didn't know. When she lowered her head and said "I'm sorry", it was when he suddenly wanted to hug her-half of his hands were raised.

When she faced him, she was sometimes extra cautious. Her cautiousness and his own hesitation and pride often joined hands to stifle the opportunity to embrace.

Just like four years ago, her restraint and his hesitation, a time difference, missed the entire window sill scenery.

Memory rushed out, and Sheng Huainan's index finger touching the doorknob was cold. is it you?

When I listened attentively, someone was talking.

"Don't talk about it. I will have an exam tomorrow. Review it. I don't want to discuss this issue."

"Not thinking about reviewing, you can make it clear today."

"What can I say. You still don't understand? It's your kind of talent who can't see clearly, high eyebrows, low eyebrows, and stalking that puts her pressure on her. Are you not finished yet?!"

It turned out to be the showdown of the threesome. He listened for a while, and one boy who had obviously gained the upper hand was arrogant, and the other insisted on not letting go of the word "past". What's more interesting is that the girl caught in the middle just refused to give a straightforward conclusion, and kept saying ambiguous words to appease both sides, but instead became more and more furious.

He slowly walked down the stairs, smiling bitterly, his thoughts returning to two years ago.

At that moment, Ye Zhanyan was sitting in the tall stands of the stadium, looking at them condescendingly. A boy in Class 6 whose appearance he can't remember now was covered with tears, roaring like Ma Jingtao in Qiong Yao's drama, he could not remember the content of the roar. He turned his head to look at Ye Zhanyan. Although Ye Zhanyan didn't smile, the corners of his mouth were still raised suspiciously, and his eyes were slightly narrowed, dangerous and seductive, but there was a trace of suppressed publicity and joy-that expression was very different from what he meant for Ye Zhanyan.

Now recalling the naive scene of jealousy, Sheng Huainan couldn't help laughing embarrassingly. But at the time, he seriously suppressed the boring emotions in his heart, and solemnly and politely said to the roaring boy: "As her boyfriend, I ask you not to harass Zhanyan."

He couldn't remember how it ended later. In short, the grace and calmness he deliberately maintained seemed to fall into the slurred entanglement of the opponent. In the end he stood there a little tired, Ye Zhanyan did not know when he came down from the stand and hugged him from behind-he still clearly remembered her cool embrace and a very light and light sentence: "You are real Love me?"

It turns out that love requires qualifications. People need a variety of forms to prove themselves, and the various tossings that will feel stupid after calming down are important processes in the emotions at the time. It is as if without the barrier of the fire-breathing dragon, the love between the knight and the princess would not be complete.

It's nice to be young. Sheng Huainan deepened his smile, and the controversy behind the door was in his ears, intertwined into the children's self-righteous farce.

He had just come down two floors, and suddenly a boy rushed down from above and brushed him in the stairwell. A girl chased down, and another boy yelled the girl's name and followed. Sheng Huainan wondered, why bother with a bad face—after all, the tearful boy in the lead chose to take the stairs instead of jumping straight down—as long as he was alive, it wouldn't be a big deal.

He turned back, climbed the stairs, and opened the roof door again.

The desolate wind in Beijing in the winter messed up his hair. The city was dressed in a gray concrete coat, and the gray and black residual snow made it look even more embarrassed. There are few pedestrians on the road today.

Sheng Huainan closed his eyes, a little bit unable to remember Luo Zhi.

He could clearly feel the changes in her emotions. Even though he was not sure of the true thoughts behind her, he could still distinguish the colors of the emotions.

This recognition ability is not based on a soft spot for Luo Zhi. This ability has always been his habit, even his proud trick.

Since he was a child, he liked to sit on the edge of the flowerbed in the organ compound with a carton of milk in his mouth, silently observing the people coming and going. When the uncles and aunts who visited at home sat in the living room and began to explain to his father, he held the ball and stood in a place where no one noticed, watching quietly.

For so many years, even though he could not remember who and what the owners of those cautious, humble and polite faces were, there were words in the undercurrents, peaceful brows and eyes, exaggerated smirks and the possible distorted expressions under the mask of support. Gradually filled his tedious growth.

This silent peeking is like a game unsuitable for children.

In the organ compound, the intricate interests are entangled, so squeezed together, do you need such a cautious face? Including his father.

It is really easy to use this experience to see the small scheming and vanity of the classmates around me. Although the girl’s thoughts and thoughts could not be personally experienced, he immediately smiled and used the most gentle eyebrows to cut off their dreams while minimizing the damage. He still has the ability to do this trick. of.

Luo Zhi once said to him: "You are too self-righteous, Sheng Huainan."

However, he never guessed wrong.

He seemed to see her leaning down to kiss him again, moving gently and calmly, but it seemed that there was a thick white mist and nothing could be seen. Never see clearly again.

Goodbye, your self-righteous emperor.

He should have known it a long time ago, and no one should ever let him look down.

The door creaked behind. Sheng Huainan's heart seemed to be instantly gripped by an invisible hand, and he turned his head back abruptly.

A fat figure in a purple down jacket flashed by the door, and the sparse bangs on the front of her forehead could not hide her stunned expression.

It is Zheng Wenrui.

Sheng Huainan calmed down and smiled and said to her: "It's you. It's been a long time."

It's really been a long time. The last time I saw her was probably the last autumn rain in Beijing nearly two months ago.

Luo Zhi's body hidden under the pink HelloKitty raincoat trembled slightly, and his pale lips moved. He said to him, "More importantly, my father can't buy me a raincoat anymore."

The rain curtain can't cover her sight.

After Luo Zhi left, Sheng Huainan stood in the rain for a long time. He lowered the umbrella and listened quietly to the sound of rain falling on the umbrella. She was obviously tempted, but it turned out that everything about her was spread out in the cold and humid air, unable to hide it.

The heartache at that moment made him suddenly impulsive, and he wanted to call her immediately, and he would ask clearly. He turned on the phone, but saw two unread messages. Just then I heard footsteps. He saw Zheng Wenrui when he raised his eyes. She didn't know when she appeared behind him, standing in the rain with a red umbrella, her face full of tears.

"I'm texting you, why don't I reply?" Her voice was a bit sad.

He looked down at the phone, and it turned out that both of those messages were sent by her. It has been fifteen minutes, and he didn't even look at it.

"Where are you? Are you not trapped by the rain?"

"Where are you, are you not trapped by the rain?"